by Anya Summers
It was terrifying, even as it was affirming that she hadn’t died right alongside her husband and parents. That the parts of herself she’d thought were gone for good were being resurrected by his dominant touch.
Ram lifted his head and pierced her with a stare. Sadie wondered what it was he saw when he looked at her. His expression held warmth and concern. It was why he was a great therapist; he doled out compassion and empathy in equal doses.
“I should go.”
“It’s too bad you can’t stay the night.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She hated sounding so needy. But the other night spent in his arms had been the best night of sleep she had gotten since the crash.
“If my kids weren’t visiting, I would. As it is, I need to go pick them up from their aunt’s house,” he said and withdrew his softening member. Then he unwrapped her legs from around his waist and set her on her feet.
He backed up a few steps, putting distance between them. But unlike on Sunday, he didn’t erect walls between them. She picked up her robe and slid it on, grimacing as she picked up her destroyed panties.
“I owe you a new pair.” He slid his tee shirt back on. Warmth rippled off him in waves, so much so that she wanted to walk right into his arms and stay there.
“It’s all right. I can get another pair.”
“Lock the door behind me. And remember, no touching my pussy. I’ll meet you at the club at ten sharp.”
“Okay. I might be a few minutes late, depending on the bus.”
He shook his head. “No. That won’t do. What I have planned for you is going to take up the entire two hours. I will pick you up at nine-thirty. Be ready. And wear clothing that’s easy to remove.”
He pulled her in, cupped her chin, and kissed her. And oh, mama! What a kiss. He revved her internal combustion engines back to life. She wasn’t sure how he did it. She had just experienced two amazing orgasms, and she wanted him again. Now.
She whimpered when he broke the kiss. He rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip and gave her a heart-stopping grin, like he knew exactly how potent his kiss had been and that she was all hot and bothered.
“Be good. Don’t make me have to punish you tomorrow.” He brushed his lips over hers again, much lighter this time.
“Yes, Sir,” she sighed, and saw him out, locking the door once he’d left with a heated backward glance that made her knees wobble.
When he was gone, she made it over to the couch before she melted into a puddle. Ram was a force of nature, altering the very fiber of her being. Sadie knew she should be worried about how much control she was giving him, and the fact that she wanted him again so soon after. But she couldn’t drum up the energy to be worried.
Not when she was back in the land of the living. And, she suspected, it didn’t have as much to do with the lifestyle as the man instructing her in it.
Chapter 17
The next morning, Sadie fidgeted as she watched the clock tick above the mantel in her living room. Every piece of furniture was new, from the couch set, to the matching coffee and end tables, to the entertainment stand and television. When she had moved, she had liquidated every piece of furniture she and Henry had bought while they were together. The only thing she had kept from her old life were the family heirlooms, like the china cabinet that had been her grandmother’s, the set of tools that had belonged to her grandpa Joe, pieces of jewelry that belonged to her mom, and her dad’s favorite tie. But the rest was gone, decorating someone else’s home.
She’d needed the fresh start. And if she had kept the table with the wobbly leg or the china set she and Henry had received from his parents as a wedding gift, she would have drowned in her memories of her dead husband. She had their wedding pictures packed away, as well as a box with a few small mementos, a pair of ticket stubs for the concert where he had proposed, things like that.
But everything else, from the wall clock beside the entertainment center to her salt and pepper shakers, was new.
She glanced at the clock again, trying to keep herself from pacing in her anxiety. She’d risen early, had a protein-packed breakfast, and then taken a full shower with loads of pampering. She’d exfoliated, shaved and moisturized her body, making sure her skin was smooth as silk. Her tie-dye sundress in dark purple and blue was rather demure in appearance, ending at her ankles. It was what she wore underneath that counted.
Or at least, she hoped it did.
She hadn’t gone for the typical black, figuring there was a lot of that color in BDSM. Instead she had on a fire engine red lace thong and matching bra where the cups were of a sheer, see through fabric that left nothing to the imagination.
Sadie was on tenterhooks, she was so nervous. It wasn’t like this was their first time being intimate with one another. Just last night, Ram had screwed her brains out up against the foyer wall. It didn’t get more intimate than that.
No, she was anxious because each time they were together, her heart cracked open a wee bit more. And it made her feel things for Ram. Things she had no business feeling.
At the knock on the door, she straightened her spine and opened the door. Ram was one sexy beast. He wore a dark gray tee with some emblem on the front. And the material hugged his chest, leaving no doubt that the man was ripped. His blue jeans were distressed at the knees—from use, not as a fashion statement. They were a butter soft, deep blue that cupped his parts making her lick her lips.
He wore a pair of dark aviator sunglasses that hid his gray eyes. He still hadn’t shaved the stubble off, and his hair was tousled, like he’d run his fingers through it repeatedly on the drive here. Deep in her belly, she quivered in anticipation.
He gave her a once over in much the same manner, and she hoped she met with his approval. Dammit! This need she had to please him, to make him comfortable—it was the nurse’s curse.
“Ready?”
“Yeah, let me just grab my things.” She picked up her purse and the duffel bag that contained more things for Grace. She knew she was spoiling the little girl, but it made Grace happy, and Sadie got a thrill from seeing the smile on the little girl’s face.
“What’s the bag for?”
“I’m volunteering at the hospital for a bit. Not working, volunteering. I packed a change of clothes and the like, so I don’t have to come back here.” The partial lie slipped off her tongue. She did have a change of clothes in the bag to wear in case what she had on got messy during the upcoming training session. But it was the part that wasn’t true that made instant guilt wash over her. The problem was, she wasn’t ready to tell him about Grace. From what she knew about men, they tended to run when kids were involved. Her dead husband had been proof enough of that when she’d mentioned wanting to start a family. She had a week and a half left with Ram. She didn’t want to spoil it with something that wasn’t going to matter to him when it was all said and done.
“That’s good. Volunteering does wonders for the soul when you’re working on yourself.”
“Are you going to analyze me, or take me to the club?”
He shoved his sunglasses up onto his head. “Careful, babe, you’re about to earn yourself a spanking.”
She rolled her eyes. “Just want to know if I’m being billed by the hour or not, and which Ram is present.”
“Uh-huh. Let’s go, we have a limited amount of time.” He took the duffel bag from her, ushering her out the door.
Parked out in front was a black 525 beamer. “This yours?”
“Yep. Get in.” He opened her door for her and then closed it once she was seated on the soft leather. He tossed her duffel into the trunk before joining her on the driver’s side.
Ram drove like he did everything else, with utter confidence.
Before she lost her nerve, she blurted, “I’ve been meaning to ask, and I realize it might be a sensitive topic, but how did you lose your left foot?”
His hands tensing on the steering wheel was the only indication that it was a barel
y broached topic.
“You weren’t supposed to even know about it. I rarely, if ever, let a woman know about the disability.”
“But how do you keep it from them? When you spend the night, it’s rather obvious.” She turned her body toward him.
“You’re the first woman I’ve spent the night with after sex in a good six years. Women tend to dislike a guy who isn’t whole.”
“Then they’re bitches. And good riddance.”
A smile teased the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, well, you’d be the first to think so. None of the club subs know about it, so I would appreciate your discretion.”
Meaning he planned to be with the other women, the other subs in Club Underworld. Sadie digested this bit of news. It shouldn’t come as a shock. She knew this already. This arrangement between them was temporary. But it hurt, more than she was comfortable with. It was probably good that their time together would be short in duration. Otherwise, she would do the unthinkable and fall for him.
“You have it, but not having your left foot doesn’t make you less. You’re extremely potent even without it. You don’t want to decimate the female population, do you?”
He barked out a laugh. “It’s not that big a deal.”
But she could see that it was; that somewhere in his past, a woman—one who had mattered to him—had made him feel less than because of the missing limb.
“Okay, then tell me how it happened.” She knew she shouldn’t be so curious about a guy she was no longer going to be seeing in less than ten days. And that wasn’t even what they were doing. They were having crazy, hot wicked sex. That was it.
“I enlisted in the Army after I graduated from high school, went on to become a Ranger. Got married at twenty before my first tour of duty in Afghanistan. It was during my second enlistment, when I re-upped and went over for my second tour, that a roadside bomb took out everyone in my squad, as well as my left foot. We were in enemy territory, and if it wasn’t for the quick thinking of a helicopter pilot who was guarding the envoy, I wouldn’t be here today. Graham and I have been friends ever since. He’s one of the Doms you’ll meet at the club, eventually.”
“That’s horrible. You were the only survivor?” Parts of Ram finally made sense to her and clicked into place. No wonder he could speak with such authority on surviving loss—because he knew what it was like. And it was why he saw her clearly when it seemed no one else did.
“Yeah. When it became clear that I was going to survive, I was honorably discharged and shipped home a disabled vet.”
“How old were you?”
“Twenty-four,” he said, killing the engine. He had parked the car in a private, well-lit garage.
Undoing her seatbelt, she leaned forward and put her palm on his cheek, turning his face toward hers. His gaze shielded by his aviators, she leaned in and brushed her lips over his. It was an I’m here for you kind of kiss. Before she could back away, Ram took charge, pulled her body against his, angled her head back, and slanted his lips over hers. In two seconds flat, the kiss went from sweet to devastating.
She moaned, and it gave him the perfect opening to invade her mouth. His tongue tangled with hers.
When he finally lifted his head, he murmured in a low voice, “Let’s get inside.”
“I’m sorry… about your foot. That couldn’t have been easy.”
“At the time, it wasn’t. A part of me wanted to die, wished I would have died with the rest of my unit. It took a few years being back here, working toward a purpose, until I found myself living again. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. And there’s not a single person who isn’t scarred by life in some way. It’s really comes down to: when you get knocked down, are you going to stay down and allow life to trample you? Or are you going to rise back up to fight another day?”
She was getting that—about him and herself, too. She said, “This is me fighting for it.”
He shoved his sunglasses up, giving her another of his intense stares. “I know. It’s pretty remarkable. Let’s get inside before I lose my patience and fuck you right here.”
Her breath backed up in her lungs. Considering she was already in his lap and could feel the firm bulge, the proof of his desire, beneath her bottom, she agreed. “Okay.”
Then, with his help, she disentangled herself from his body and exited the car. Ram put his arm around her and escorted her over to the elevator. In no time they were back up in his private room.
“I want you to strip and kneel by the cross for me,” Ram commanded, stripping his shirt off over his head.
“Yes, Sir.” Gone was the congenial Ram and in his place was the unbreakable, immovable Dom, the one who was constantly beneath the surface that screamed bad boy. Maybe that was something she had picked up on him from the start—that he might wear a veneer of respectability but underneath it all, he was a wicked badass.
Sadie disrobed, hanging her dress over the back of a chair. She stepped out of her heeled sandals before taking her bra and panties off. She shivered in the highly efficient air-conditioning. It might be sultry and cruising toward triple digits outside, but in here, it was like they were visiting the arctic circle.
Ram was pulling items from the armoire again. She tried not to let it make her nervous, but she couldn’t help it. That whole fear of the unknown thing got her every time. It didn’t used to, not before her husband and parents were killed. Shaking off the memories, she padded the short distance to the cross. It was really more of an X than a cross.
Sadie knelt in position. It was one of the ones described in the packet she had been provided with her application to join. This was the most basic one, but it was the one she had been practicing. She knelt with her thighs together, her bottom resting on her heels. Her hands were on her thighs and her head bowed.
In this position, she couldn’t see Ram approach. But she felt him. He had this kinetic magnetism that fried her entire being and made her attuned to only him.
“Very nice. You’ve been studying, I see. Today, we’re going to try a few things out. You liked the flogger, so today, I’m going to see how you do with the paddle and some nipple clamps. If at any time, something hurts too much or doesn’t feel right, I want you to use your safeword; we’ll stick with red. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Take my hand, and we’ll get you situated.”
Sadie didn’t hesitate. There was a calm that descended over her. For the next little slice of time, she knew she didn’t have to make any decisions, or fight to survive. All she had to do was follow wherever Ram led her. She placed her hand in his and rose until she stood before him.
“Hold out your wrists for me.”
She did and he fastened his leather cuffs about them. The smooth texture against her skin made her shiver. Then he cupped the back of her head, angled her face up, and kissed her. It was a sexy, soulful exchange that left her breathless and aroused. He moved to her neck and shoulders, placing open-mouthed, hungry kisses down until he reached her boobs.
He laved his tongue over the taut peak of her nipple. Pleasure zinged through her to coalesce in her belly. Then his mouth surrounded the bud. She moaned, her back arching to feed him more of the mound. Her hands clutched his shoulders. The muscles rippled and shifted beneath her palms.
He placed a series of nibbling bites, each one harder than the last, along her skin in a crescendoed succession. Her head dropped back at the slice of pleasure-pain pumping through her veins. Cool metal touched her nipple and then squeezed ruthlessly. Pain stole her breath and she froze at the agony.
“Easy, babe. Deep breaths. Surrender, and let me take care of you.”
She did as he ordered—or tried to. It was just that the clamp hurt. She focused on her breathing. His tongue flicked across the abraded bud. Razor sharp pleasure shot from her clamped tit all the way to her clit, and throbbed.
“Again, Sir,” she begged with awe clouding her voice.
He chuckled darkly, then flic
ked his tongue over her clamped nipple again and again until she was mewling. “I thought you would like that.”
Then he moved to its twin, giving that nipple the same torrid treatment until the bud was swollen and uber sensitive. When he slipped the clamp onto that nipple, she moaned deep in her throat. She absorbed the pain as he flicked it with his tongue.
Then he pulled back, took her cuffed wrists, and positioned her up against the cross. There were footholds for her feet, which was nice. But they spread her legs wide and put her arms in the shape of a Y as he fastened her cuffs to the cross. He slipped restraints about her ankles, and then a leather strap around the back of her waist.
Sadie was well and truly at his mercy. Shivers erupted down her spine.
“Very nice.” He ran his hand down her back and squeezed one of her butt cheeks. “Hmmm, I think we need something more. I’ll be right back.”
Sadie felt bereft of his heat and presence. The only thing that kept her from panicking was that she heard him at the armoire again, withdrawing items. She sighed when he returned. Then he pulled her bottom apart and smeared lubricant on her back channel.
She yelped at the coolness. Then he was inserting a finger, pressing past her resistant tissues.
“Deep breaths for me. Just going to stretch your ass a bit for the plug and get you prepped to take my cock again.”
“Yes, Sir,” she moaned. The thought of taking him there, in that forbidden channel, caused her pussy to clench in pleasure. How could she like this? Wasn’t it wrong of her to desire such wicked deeds? To want Ram to continue doing them until she was spent?
Pleasure burned through her as he stretched her hole, thrusting his digit in and out until it glided in with ease. Ram added a second and a third finger, plunging them in again and again until her whole body felt electrified. But then he removed his fingers, squirted more lube on her rosette, and pressed the tip of the plug inside. Her breath caught as he pushed the plug deep. Ram started fucking her with it, sliding the cylindrical device in and out. Her hands curled into fists. Pleasure cascaded through her. Her nipples strained against the clips.