by Anya Summers
Shaking herself from her reverie when they rounded the corner, Sadie headed toward the pediatric ward and the girl who needed her. The one she needed right back.
The next morning, Sadie was once again dressed in a sundress, this one a poppy red color with spaghetti straps and, the best feature: pockets. She had kept her footwear simple with easy slide strappy sandals which would be faster to remove once they reached Club Underworld and Ram’s private room. It was too bloody hot out to wear anything that wasn’t lightweight cotton. The air was thick and muggy, with temps again shooting up into triple digit heat. They were supposed to get some relief when the forecasted storm moved in tonight.
She answered the door thinking perhaps she should suggest they stay here, at her place. It would give them more time to be together.
Any coherent thought she had slid right out of her brain as she stared at him. He was utterly, mouthwateringly gorgeous, a badass alpha in battered blue jeans that were butter soft and distressed at the knees from wear, and a white tee shirt with Tough Mudder 10K across the chest. Just from looking at him, her nipples perked up, happy to see him, and a low burn flared to life in her abdomen. Ram wore jeans and a tee shirt better than any man she had ever met.
He’d not shaved this morning, leaving a slight shadow beard along his firm jaw. His stance was calm and relaxed with his usual underlying always ready for action quality.
“Morning,” she murmured as he stepped in, crowding her, his gaze hooded with desire as he skimmed her body with a glance. The heat in his gaze caused her heartrate to kick up, and made her panties wet.
His fingers toyed with one of the straps, knuckles grazing her shoulder. “I gotta say I was never a huge fan of sundresses on women before you, but you’ve changed my mind. I like knowing that underneath, you’re wearing a slip of lace and nothing else.”
Ram’s free hand slid around her waist, drawing her into his arms. Sadie didn’t hesitate. Stepping into his arms felt like coming home. He cupped her cheek, rasping his thumb over her bottom lip. She rose up onto her toes, needing his mouth on hers, and met him halfway, sliding her hands up his chest. She moaned deep in her throat when he covered her mouth with his. The man was singularly gifted in the art of kissing. He took the kiss deep and dark, foreshadowing the erotic, kinky as hell sex to come.
She yielded to his dominance without question, letting him guide the kiss. His lips were hungry and possessive, drawing her deeper and deeper into the miasma of kinetic heat. He kissed her and deep down, Sadie knew Ram was it for her—more so than Henry had ever been.
At the thought, she tore her mouth away from Ram’s, her breaths coming in short, hard pants. Her only consolation was that Ram’s breathing was just as erratic.
“Can’t we just stay here? That way, we don’t have to wait.”
“If I didn’t have plans for your lessons that involved a St. Andrew’s Cross, we would,” he said with such smoldering intensity, her insides quaked.
“Well then, we should get going,” she said before she did something like jump his bones, the consequences be damned.
Ram gave her a smoldering grin, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. It made her flush. The thought of egging him on crossed her mind. What would he do if she dropped the dress? Would that convince him to stay here?
Her hands were on her dress straps, ready to take a chance at seducing him into staying, when her phone rang. The cheerful, chiming ringtone was jarring and dispelled her plans.
Grabbing her purse off the nearby chair, she pulled her phone out and recognized the number.
“Ignore it. We have to go. We only have a few hours.”
“I know.” She held up her hand in a just a minute gesture as she answered it, her heart pounding. She recognized Victoria’s number. It was Grace’s social worker. Was Grace all right? Had something happened to her overnight? Had they found family who could take care of her? “Victoria, hi, how are you?” Sadie turned away from Ram, needing to focus on the conversation and not the hot man. He was the mother of all distractions, and she tended to lose brain power when she stared at him.
“Good. I have some news for you, if you have a minute.”
“Sure.” Sadie couldn’t hang up. She wouldn’t be able to relax if she didn’t know what was going on.
“I wanted to give you a heads up. After our initial talk, I decided to fast track your application to become a foster parent, with Grace Sanchez as the potential foster. The only thing I was waiting on was to hear back from Theresa regarding the home visit and her recommendation.”
“Yeah. So what does that mean, being fast tracked?” Sadie was too afraid to hope.
“Everything looks great on your end. Your application has been approved with the State. Moreover, you have been granted fostership of Grace Sanchez once she is discharged from the hospital. In effect, you are Grace’s new foster mother.”
Sadie’s heart quickened. Joy spilled through her being. Moisture filled her eyes. “Really? That’s so wonderful. I can’t wait to tell Grace. I can tell her, right?”
“Absolutely, you may. I’m sure she will be thrilled. She is quite taken with you. We do have some more paperwork that I need to go over with you and have you sign to make it all official. How about we meet tomorrow at my office, say at ten? Does that work for you?”
“Yes. I’ll be there. That would be great. I’ll see you then.” Sadie hung up, wanting to jump up and down. Delight bubbled in her chest. She was going to foster Grace. They would help each other heal. Already, the little girl had made an impact on her life. There would be adjustments for her, in her daily life. It was no longer about Sadie—not entirely, anyway. It wasn’t going to be easy. She had a steep learning curve ahead of her on how to mother a child, especially one who had been through so much trauma, but she knew she could do it. It felt deep in the gut right.
And then it dawned on her as she turned and spied the stern expression covering Ram’s features. It was in the tension in his shoulders and the clenching of his hands, like he wanted to spank her and was trying to keep himself from touching her. Ram had heard the entire conversation. Or her part of it, at the very least.
“Something you want to tell me?” Ram crossed his arms in front of his chest, anger radiating off him in waves.
Sadie clasped her hands in front of her to keep them from shaking, drew up her courage, and said, “I made the decision to foster Grace, the little girl I told you about. I applied for it last week. That was the Division of Family Services letting me know they approved my application to be her foster mom once she is released from the hospital. Ram, she doesn’t have anyone, and I think I can help her.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’re still dealing with your grief. And—”
She flinched like he’d smacked her. Taken aback, fury unfurled and ignited in her chest. She didn’t hold back. “Hold up. You don’t get to make this decision for me. It’s not up to you whether you think it’s a good idea or not. Stop being my goddamn therapist for two seconds and be my… well, I guess I don’t know what to call you. My boyfriend implies that there is something beyond the two weeks. My Dom also implies more of a permanence. So that leaves the guy I’m currently fucking. And as such, you don’t get to make decisions for my life. I do.”
Ram exploded, tossing his hands up in the air, and snarled, “Are you fucking kidding me? You leave out the little fact that you’re going to foster a three-year-old and lie by omission, when the first tenet of any Dom and sub relationship is trust and honesty? I’ve been honest with you from the start. I put my career in jeopardy crossing boundaries with you. Then you expect me not to be pissed? Nor can I ignore the fact that I am a therapist. I understand grief, the dangers, and the impact PTSD has on a person’s life. In my opinion, I think you’re making a big fucking mistake here.”
Echoes of another argument with Henry telling her that marrying her had been a mistake, that he refused to make a baby with someone he didn’t see himself staying
with, swirled in Sadie’s heart and in her head. It was like they kept relegating her to a woman they could sleep with and do all manner of bedroom activities with, but then acted like she wasn’t fit for more than that. So she had PTSD—lots of people did, and she was learning to manage that.
“You can think or believe what you want to. I can’t control you, nor would I ever try to make you feel the way you just made me feel. I didn’t ask for your approval. I don’t need to ask for it because it’s my life. And just so you are aware, the other therapist in my life, Marsha, she doesn’t think I’m making a mistake. She thinks that fostering Grace is exactly what I need. And she’s right. You can think whatever the hell you want to, Ram. Because this,” she gestured between them, “is done. Whatever this was.”
He shifted, reeled back his anger, and resumed control of his emotions. If she wasn’t so pissed, she would have asked him how he did it. And then he tried to play peacemaker. “Don’t be like that. Come on, we still have time—”
Oh, yeah, they did—to extend the kinky lessons until he said they were done at the end of the week. Nothing like ripping the bandage off now. She wasn’t some damsel in need of rescuing. And she couldn’t be with a man who thought so little of her, no matter how much pain swelled in her chest at the thought of not seeing him, not being with him. But instead of holding on to the pain, she let her seething, roiling mass of anger drive her words. “Time for what, to fuck like rabbits before you decide we’re done when you take your kids back to Dallas? You proved the other day—when I didn’t even warrant a text message—where I stand in the scheme of your life. So you shouldn’t be surprised when I make decisions that have no bearing on you or whatever we were. Please leave. I have things to do to get my place ready for Grace.”
Ram just stood there, staring at her with an unfathomable look in his eyes. When he didn’t make a move to leave, she marched past him to the front door, yanked the damn thing open, and stood, waiting for him to go.
He stared at her for a moment longer. When he realized she wasn’t budging, he muttered fuck it under his breath and stormed past her. She closed the door with a resounding slam the moment he was out.
Sadie flipped the lock, sucked in a deep breath, and clamped a hand over her mouth to contain the sob as her heart—the thing that had just recently come back to life—shattered.
Chapter 24
Ram sped away from Sadie’s place wondering what the fuck had just happened. The morning had not gone how he had planned. When he’d left his house that morning it had been with the intent to ask her to continue their relationship, to give them a chance when he returned from Dallas to make it a true, committed Dom and sub relationship… after he had bound her hands and screwed her until she screamed his name. He had feelings for her beyond the fact that she blew his mind every time they were together. She did something to him. Every time she was in his vicinity, he wanted to protect her, possess her, and care for her. He wanted to be the man who helped her face her dragons, and not just defeat them, but slay them.
She had blossomed during their time together, coming alive before his very eyes, and it had been intoxicating.
Then there was the fact that he liked her personality and the fierceness of her heart. She gave of herself both in bed and out. Ram wanted her in his bed and life on a more permanent basis. She was warm and so damn beautiful that she made him ache, for her losses but also for her bravery. The fact that she had lost the most important people in her life and found the courage to start over, to try and build a new life, impressed him. She accepted him, accepted the fact that he wasn’t physically whole, and passed it off as a non-issue because for Sadie, it wasn’t, and that bowled Ram over. In his experience, no woman had done that aside from his mother, sisters, and daughter.
And now it was over?
There was an ache in his chest. He’d not expected Sadie to wriggle her way in past his stalwart defenses. As a psychologist, he recognized the emotional boundaries he’d had in place that didn’t let anyone in, most especially not a woman. Yet, Sadie had torn through those as if they were flimsy pieces of parchment.
He rubbed a hand over his face. If he examined the situation with the clinical side of his brain, Ram knew Sadie was identifying with the little girl because of the similarities in their losses. But that didn’t mean fostering the girl was the right choice.
It didn’t mean it was wrong, either. This week was circling the drain, what with Kelly wanting to move his kids to a foreign country, and now this. Perhaps he was too keyed up over the issues with his ex-wife to think straight.
Between that and the way Sadie had him all tangled up over his feelings for her, he wasn’t thinking with a level head. Maybe tomorrow morning, while Sadie was meeting with family services, he should go meet the little girl. Perchance, if he approached this as the man wanting to date Sadie, pulling out all the stops, after meeting Grace, he might think differently.
Fuck, it was one more problem to deal with on his ever-growing shit to do list—not the least of which was making another call to his ex-wife. He’d rather have Luc administer an enema than make the call.
When his phone rang, he hit the Bluetooth button on his steering wheel to transfer the call to his car and answered, not thinking about it, other than he assumed it was Sadie. It wasn’t.
“So, who is this woman who spent the night at your place that Gina was telling me about?” his sister Becca asked. Becca was the baby of the family. She’d been the surprise baby for his parents six years after they’d thought they were done with having kids. As the baby, they tended to spoil her and be ultra-protective of her.
“Don’t you have anything better to do, like conjuring a spell to trap an innocent man into doing your bidding?” he teased.
She snorted. “Please. There’s not a single innocent man out there. The spell would go to waste. I only use my powers for good.”
“I’m really not up for an inquisition from the Coven.” He sighed. He loved Becca. He loved all his sisters. As the only boy with three girls, each one bossier than the next, it was a wonder he wasn’t submissive.
“Well, just tell me who she is, why I haven’t met her yet, when you plan to introduce her to the rest of the family, and then I will let you go,” she teased.
“Not now, Becca, I have a shitload to deal with.” Ram pinched the bridge of his nose, praying for strength and patience.
“Yeah, Mom told me about the London deal that Kelly pulled. Have you figured out what you’re going to do? And if you say move to London, you realize I will have to call Riley and have her fly home so the three of us can kick your ass.”
“Honey, I was an Army Ranger.”
“So? The three of us together could take you. There’s no one I would want in a fight more than Riley.”
True. Riley, their middle sister, had some serious anger issues to work out. “Look, I’ve got to go.”
“But—”
“I’m hanging up now.” He ended the call, hearing her curse through the receiver before it went dead.
His kids were being moved half a world away. He had the Coven threatening to kick his ass, and Sadie, the woman he was developing quite the thing for, had dumped his ass. Maybe he should just let his sisters kick him while he was down. He wouldn’t feel worse than he did right now.
After a cry that left her feeling hollowed out, Sadie headed to the hospital. She’d known the separation with Ram had been coming, so she shouldn’t be surprised that it was over. She’d just thought she had a few more days with him before it was done. They were a little ahead of schedule. Considering the explosive way their relationship had begun, the fact it ended in a fiery chasm of doom was just the two of them coming full circle. It just meant that she could focus more on Grace.
And if there was a new hole in her heart, slowly bleeding out, well, she ignored it. What choice did she have? Still, her heart whispered that she should call him. But say what? That it was okay she was a mere blip on the course of his lif
e when he had altered the course of hers? She was not the same person who had first walked into his office. Her entry into the lifestyle had reshaped her being on a fundamental level, helping her figure out a constructive way to combat her PTSD. Ram had changed her, making her believe she could open her heart again and do the unthinkable again: love. And Grace called to her on a visceral level. They’d had a connection right from the start.
Sadie entered the hospital room and Grace beamed at her. Her dark eyes danced with merriment and her whole face lit up.
“Hey Grace. How are you feeling today?” she asked, keeping herself from looking at the little girl’s chart. She already knew that her prognosis was good. Kids were resilient. And Sadie believed her visits each day were helping Grace heal too. Every day the sadness in her gaze diminished a bit more. Sadie knew that Grace couldn’t possibly understand what it meant that her parents were dead. All her brain would be processing was that one minute they were in the car together then, in the next, there was pain and her parents were gone. If Grace was with Sadie long enough, she would be the one to help her work past her grief.
Grace did a little thumbs up. The resilience of a child. If only Sadie could apply that to her heart. One of Grace’s nurses, Delia, came in after Sadie had sat down at Grace’s bedside. Delia was a matronly woman who made Sadie think of Mrs. Claus in pink scrubs.
“How are you ladies doing today?”
“I’m great.” Sadie smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. Grace gave Delia a thumbs up too. Sadie wished that the little girl would speak. The doctors said there was nothing wrong with her vocal chords, and suspected it was the trauma she had sustained which was preventing her from talking. Sadie understood. But it didn’t make it any easier, knowing how frightened and abandoned Grace must feel.