“You are very wrong, my friend. As simple men, we will forever be at their mercy. She’s a weakness I never knew I had.” Anson put his glass down and leaned back in his chair. “But, bloody hell, she’s also my greatest strength. For her, I could do anything. If she wants the stars, all she has to do is ask, and I will collect them for her. My very existence is only for her.”
Simon didn’t doubt it for he could see the stars in his friend’s eyes. The man was clearly madly in love with his wife and didn’t want to be. It was sad, really. The two of them had the potential for so much happiness, unlike what Simon would share with his own wife.
“Have you told her this?”
The laughter bursting from Anson held no mirth. “That’s too much power for one woman to have. She already has too much as it is. Sometimes I really envy you. I’ve never heard you speak of feeling the absolute misery that can only be provided by a woman.”
Lifting his glass, Simon offered a salute. “And, may I never have the misfortune of feeling it.”
As he drank, his stomach could barely tolerate the liquid. He had felt that pain, and he was certain he’d feel it again. However, before that was necessary, he fully intended to spend as much time in Kaylee’s company as possible. Beginning tomorrow. After all, he didn’t have time to delay.
The next day as he sat with Kaylee in the drawing room, he had to grip the arms of his chair to keep himself from gathering her into his embrace. She had greeted him as cordially and impersonally as she’d done at their every meeting since his return to London. Had he only imagined her agreeing to further their relationship?
“Simon? Are you listening to me?”
He blinked. “I’m sorry. My mind slipped away for a second.”
She let out an exasperated breath. “How am I supposed to help you find a suitable bride if you aren’t paying attention to me?”
“Considering I told you I’ve moved past that point, I suppose whatever you said was unnecessary.”
“Nothing I say is unnecessary.” Her lower lip jutted out in a slight pout.
His eyes zeroed in on her supple mouth. He ached to kiss her. This couldn’t go on any longer. She may be able to pretend like nothing existed between them, but he could not.
“Are we going to keep playing this game or are you going to kiss me?”
She sucked in a sharp breath and licked her lips. His body hardened. It was no secret that she wanted him. If she were any other woman, he’d be on her in one second, but this was Kaylee. She deserved for him to take this at her pace.
“I don’t know.”
Frustration exploded in his chest and propelled him from the chair. “You don’t know? Why not? I thought you said you wanted this.”
“I do.” She stood as well. “Logistically, this won’t work. Our meetings aren’t exactly private and it’s too cold to frequent the garden.”
Although he knew she was right, he couldn’t help his anger. He paced the small room. It was hard to think straight when all he wanted to do was toss her on the sofa and claim her once again. He wanted to create a memory that would last for eternity. To leave a lasting mark on her.
“Then, I’ll sneak into your room tonight.”
She shook her head. “Last time we were too loud. Now that Miranda’s room has been filled, it truly wouldn’t be wise.”
Stopping a fair distance from her, he kept his back to her and closed his eyes. Disappointment was much too inadequate of a word to describe his current feelings. The thought of never holding her in his arms again cut a hole through his heart. He would be forced to marry a poor substitute without having the consolation of another memory to sustain him.
“What do you suggest?” he asked without turning around.
The feel of her fingers sliding across his back had him wishing his coat to hell. Her touch was tentative, but it set him on fire. Powerless to resist what he wanted more than anything, he slowly spun. Her hands didn’t leave him. Instead they rested on his chest. Whether to keep them at bay or simply touch him, he didn’t know.
“I don’t know. Our timing is just off.”
“There’s a lot more than timing working against us.” He slid a hand along her jaw to cup her cheek. Lightly brushing his lips across hers, he committed the feel of her to his memory. Her warmth seeped into his flesh, and the lack of it was acute when he stepped away.
“Was that your way of telling me goodbye?”
Unable to take the look in her eyes that told him she was trying to remain strong despite the pain, he ran a finger down her cheek. “A temporary one, I hope.”
She nodded. “I suppose it’s for the best. Everything is quite complicated for me right now.”
The vulnerability on her face tore him apart. He wanted nothing more than to make everything easier for her. Unfortunately, his options were limited. With his father’s stipulations, the only thing he could offer her was a position as his mistress or a life of poverty. Neither one would be an appealing choice for her.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
She shook her head with a loud sigh. “I don’t believe so.” Her voice hitched. “Wait, there might be one thing. If our paths cross unexpectedly, please honor me with your silence. It would be better for all involved that way.”
Stunned, he took a step back. “What are you talking about?”
After clearing her throat, she calmly placed her hands behind her back. “Exactly what I have asked. I don’t wish to divulge anything more should I not encounter you during my . . . Well, when I do. This will already be difficult enough.”
Unable to comprehend what she was referring to, Simon simply stood there staring at her. How was it that she planned to go on some covert mission that would potentially harm others should they find out, but she wasn’t able to ascertain a way to find some private time to be with him? The idea angered him.
Gritting his teeth, he nodded. Part of him wanted to follow her and discover whatever plan she had, but that wouldn’t be right or fair. After all, she deserved her privacy, and she didn’t belong to him. Never would.
“You know how to find me if you need me,” he added.
She nodded, then he took his leave. Although the day didn’t go as he’d planned, he knew it was for the best. After all, with no more prospect of having Kaylee, he would be forced to focus on his future. From now on, he would double his efforts to discern if Miss Jubal or Lady Amelia was the right woman for him.
~ ~ ~
Kaylee glanced around the room and decided uncomfortable was the mildest word in the English language. In truth, she shouldn’t be here. The fancy dress definitely made her look the part, but inside, she knew the truth. At one time, this was her world, but not any longer. She didn’t belong here.
“If you continue to look like that, they are going to begin to question your presence here, too,” her brother mumbled. “Dinner will be called soon, and I want you to remember what we talked about.”
Knowing he was right, she put her shoulders back and met his gaze. “I know. I remember everything. And, if you recall, I teach people how to survive in this world, I know exactly what to do, but that doesn’t mean I have to like this.”
He stopped and took her hand. “I realize that my wife and I owe you a great deal of gratitude. In this short time, your mother has already changed her attitude toward me and Lady Whedon.”
Inclining her head, Kaylee pulled her hand from his grasp. “Well, let’s get this over with.”
They moved further into the room and Kaylee was relieved to notice there were not as many familiar faces as she’d anticipated. Although she had helped a good number of clients throughout the years, not all of them remained in London and certainly not during the winter. She let out a sigh of relief.
As everyone gathered about the dr
awing room, she suffered through many introductions as the story about her living in the country until recent days spread. When her eyes fell on Lord Leyson, her heart fell to her stomach. The slimy man made his way over to her.
“Aren’t you going to supply an introduction, Whedon?” The viscount’s question was directed to her brother, but his eyes never left her.
Fear made keeping her smile in place rather difficult as the tense introductions were made. “Lord Leyson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Are you certain we’ve never met before?” His eyes ran down her body, leaving her feeling dirty. “You seem rather familiar.”
Kaylee swallowed. It had been over two years since she’d seen him. Constance had refused him service at the House of Reform after he had forced his attentions upon Kaylee. She had never been so afraid in her life. The experience had been what led to the lessons being periodically checked by other members of the staff.
Before she could reply, Benjamin stepped forward, inserting himself between them. “You may recall my sister from her season, but she’s a lady and if you ever look at her like that again, you’ll wish you had forgotten her.”
The viscount raised an amused brow and nodded his head before moving on. Kaylee let out a breath before facing her brother. She’d never known him to stand up for her. Considering he’d been the one to give her an ultimatum that had led to her leaving the house three years ago, she could hardly believe he would take such a position now.
“Thank you for that,” she breathed, her heart still hammering in her chest from the encounter.
Benjamin cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable. “I’ll not have anyone disrespecting my family.”
Before any more could be said, dinner was called. Although she was seated next to a lively pair who were able to coax numerous smiles from her, the eyes of the viscount were heavy upon her. At one point, she felt as though he could see straight into her very soul. It was unnerving and left her without much to concentrate on besides the menace of his presence.
“Ladies, please join me in the drawing room, and let’s leave the men to their port.”
As the hostess led them out of the room, Kaylee couldn’t contain her relief. Although she knew his eyes followed her as she left, soon he wouldn’t be able to watch her any longer.
“Aren’t you having a wonderful time, my dear?” Her mother’s happiness was plain to see as they sat on chairs placed in the corner of the room.
Not wanting to dull her mother’s pleasure, Kaylee smoothed a ruffle on her skirt, allowing the silken texture to calm her. “It’s been very different from what I’m accustomed to. As such, I find myself tiring much easier.”
Distress colored her mother’s features. “You promised me a season. You said you would try to find a husband.”
“That isn’t exactly right, but I am trying. You can’t expect me to simply fall back into the ease I felt years ago.”
Her mother simply lifted up her hand and sniffed. “I see Lady Townsend. She and I need to talk.”
With that, her mother walked away. Frustrated that she wouldn’t be able to make an early exit, Kaylee crossed her arms. As her eyes scanned the crowd, she saw a familiar face and she inwardly groaned. Could this get any worse? Lady Matteson stood talking with her older daughter, Lady Amelia.
Not too long ago, Kaylee taught Amelia like she was now teaching her sister, Patricia. Although she wasn’t quite sure how Amelia would react, she had a very good idea Lady Matteson wouldn’t respond favorably. As luck would have it, her eyes met Amelia’s and recognition passed quite clearly through them. The girl quickly whispered something to her mother.
“I see you have been left here all by yourself this time.”
The sound of Lord Leyson’s voice brought her to her feet as she faced the vile man. “In a room full of people, I’m hardly alone.”
He chuckled. “It matters not. I remember you now, Miss Shepherd. Your brother can’t save you now. You don’t belong here with your questionable reputation. What do you think your hostess would say if I told her your services can now be purchased at a House of Reform?”
“There you are, Kaylee.” Amelia linked her arm through Kaylee’s. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Stunned, Kaylee could do nothing but look between the two people before her. The world was spinning out of control, and she didn’t know what to do. This was a bad idea. She never should have agreed.
“Lady Amelia, I don’t think your mother would approve of your association with a woman such as this.”
The girl straightened her back. “You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. Our friendship is a long-standing one.”
Much to her surprise, the Marquis of Hampton approached her before any more words could be exchanged. The man was very aged and well-respected. Although he attended certain events, he didn’t make it a custom of engaging in small talk or involving himself in others concerns.
“You, young lady, will play for me. It’s been too long since I’ve heard you play, and I’ll hear it now.” He offered his arm.
Her heart stopped. She couldn’t recall ever performing for the marquis, and the idea of doing so now paralyzed her. Why did he ask her? This night had become the strangest of her life.
Amelia nudged her and Kaylee dropped into a curtsy. “I’d be honored, my lord.”
She took his arm and allowed him to lead her to the pianoforte. For the remainder of the night, Lord Leyson kept his distance, but the marquis kept her nearby. It seemed he enjoyed her company and had requested her to play more than once.
In the end, Kaylee had never been more grateful to return home. She didn’t know what to do about the rest of her promise to her mother, but she refused to endure another night like tonight. Too many things could happen and someone may not always be there to help her. No. She couldn’t do this.
Chapter 6
“So, have you given any thought to my question?” Simon set his teacup down and faced Miss Jubal.
The girl’s blank stare spoke volumes.
Lady Burleson snorted with indignation, “My lord, I don’t remember you asking my daughter a question.” Lady Burleson’s nasally voice carried from the opposite side of the room where she was supposedly conversing with her other guests.
Simon leveled a stare at the woman. “I was unaware that my conversations with your daughter had to go through you. If that’s the case, I’ll invite you to join us.”
The woman turned bright red then trained her attention back to her guests who began mumbling among themselves.
“Please forgive my mother,” Miss Jubal spoke in a whisper. “She is unaccustomed to handling gentlemen callers, as am I.”
“That is quite all right.” He angled himself to keep his voice from trailing across the room. “As long as she respects your privacy now.”
“I believe she will for a few minutes.” She reached up and patted at her unruly hair. “Now, you had asked me a question? I’m sorry, but our first meeting was unexpected and unusual. I fear I don’t remember much.”
The concern in her eyes made him wonder what had happened to the girl. Had her father or some other gentleman harmed her when she hadn’t responded in the correct way? He didn’t like the thought of that.
“Not to worry. I simply asked you to think about what you wanted in the future. We were beginning with if you wanted to live in the city or the country.”
She smiled as her shoulders straightened and her hand fell to her lap, but still her gaze did not meet his. “I do remember that. You love the city, and so do I. That is my choice.”
Considering her past actions, he didn’t know that he could believe her. After all, her preference could simply be because he had indicated a liking for the city first. This second-guessing would never do. He needed to have someone
he knew would be honest with him. Unfortunately, he didn’t believe Miss Jubal capable at present.
He wondered what advice Kaylee would give him at the moment. Would she encourage him to continue to get to know the woman or to move to Lady Amelia? He wished he could ask her right now.
“That’s a wonderful start. Now, I shall leave you with another question. I wish to know three things you love about the city as well as three things you love about the country.”
Her face twisted as if the idea brought her discomfort. “You are leaving? You don’t wish to know right now?”
“I want you to give each question a certain amount of thought. If you answer now, how can I be sure your answers are true?”
A measure of distress left her eyes. “I see.”
As he left her, Simon knew he needed to do something about the lady, but he couldn’t decide what exactly. In truth, he had begun to feel sorry for her. Although he was almost certain she wasn’t the woman for him, there had to be someone out there for her.
The question paraded through his mind all the way to Kaylee’s. Today wasn’t one of their scheduled days, but something in him had to see her regardless. An ache had been growing inside him since the last time they spoke, and he decided he wasn’t ready to give up on her. To give up on them.
A knock at the door revealed the familiar butler. “Good afternoon, Marvin. I’m here to see Miss Shepherd.”
Marvin cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, my lord. Miss Shepherd is painting and not teaching anyone today.”
Knowing he could work with this, Simon wrinkled his brow. “That is unfortunate. I hadn’t realized I was late. She was to give me a painting lesson today.”
“I’m sorry, my lord. I wasn’t informed.”
To Tame a Viscount (Reformed Rakes Book 2) Page 7