“You can leave if you’d like,” he stated, although everything inside him was begging her to stay.
Her attention slowly moved to him. “How can I? If we leave now, and someone is out there, my reputation will be ruined. We have no choice but to wait for my mother to return.”
He took a deep breath. “If you truly wish to leave, you may do so without any harm to your reputation. I’ll remain here at least ten minutes in order to avoid suspicion. During that time, everyone will see your presence in the other room, and you will be safe.”
To his surprise, Kaylee burst into tears. Unable to take it, he crossed the room and held her in his arms. His agreement to keep his distance be damned. She needed him right now, and that’s what she would get.
Chapter 11
Kaylee clung to Simon as if her life depended on it. For the first time in over a week, she felt comforted. It was as if she only felt like her old self when she was with Simon. Likely because he knew her before she was the person she was currently forced to be now.
Once her tears dried, she lifted her head and read the pain in his eyes. It touched her to know her sorrow could affect him so much. A strange feeling rose in her chest, and filled her with emotions she had experienced when she’d seen him with Miss Jubal earlier. Instinct took over and she moved closer, touching her mouth to his.
He slid his hand up to cup her cheek as he kissed her back. Although he normally ravished her mouth with a furious passion, he kissed her with a tenderness she’d never experienced. As his lips moved over hers, she felt as though she was cherished. A tear slipped down her cheek.
Albeit slower than usual, passion built within her, and she gripped him tighter, needing more contact. She wanted him. All the confusing emotions she’d been experiencing lately escaped, and she couldn’t handle them.
In an effort to communicate her needs, she ground her body against his as she slid her tongue into his mouth. He allowed her to take over the kiss as his hands ran over her body. The hardness of him against her excited her and increased her desire.
Never before had she been so desperate, but this was how it was with Simon. She wasn’t sure why, but he brought out a desperation inside her that she never knew existed. She hoped she would learn to live without him.
Much too soon, he pulled back, breathing heavily. “What are we doing, Kaylee? Your mother could walk in at any moment.”
“You’re right,” she grudgingly admitted, not releasing her grip on him. “Regardless, I can’t seem to help myself.”
A spark twinkled in his eyes. “Do you realize what would happen if she caught us like this?”
“Of course I know.” She glared at him, finally having gained the desire to release him. “You would lose your ability to flirt with Miss Jubal.”
He grinned, unrepentant. “I suppose you’re right. I do wonder, does the idea of me flirting with her bother you?”
Irritated with herself for allowing her emotions to give him that impression, she pushed away and moved across the room. Unfortunately, the distance between them did nothing to dull her desire for him. The air felt thick with passion and unspoken words. She didn’t want it to be like this.
No matter who she was with, there were aspects of her life she had to keep a secret. For once, she needed a friend who she could completely lean on. One who could be trusted with her whole self and not judge her. The trouble was, she suspected Simon was that person.
“I’m so tired of all these games.” She let out a sigh. “Earlier you asked me if I was well, and I suppose I’m not.”
The feeling of Simon’s warm hands on her arms comforted her. “What can I do to help?”
She bit down on the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from leaning back into him. “I really don’t know. I just don’t have anyone to talk to. To tell my thoughts and fears to. I need someone who truly knows me. All of me.”
The pause was deafening. Each pounding beat of her heart broke it a little more as the stifling air threatened to choke her. This had been a mistake. Just as she’d suspected, Simon had not wanted her for any emotional reasons. It had been purely physical. Not that she could complain as she had used him as well.
“Do you believe I’m that person?” His voice was low, thick. “Do you trust me enough to give me all sides of you?”
His questions sent spikes of fear through her. She desperately needed this from him, but it sounded as though he were asking for so much more. And, if she agreed, how would she feel once he married in a few months and left her? She shook off the thought. She couldn’t think on that now. At the moment, she needed a friend to help her through this. Later, she would be safely tucked away at the House of Reform and she wouldn’t have to watch him with his new wife.
“I do,” she whispered.
He spun her around. “Give me everything, Kaylee. I’m here to catch you. I won’t let you fall.”
The look in his eyes gave credence to his words and a calm washed over her. This was exactly what she needed. An unbidden smile formed on her lips.
“Thank you.”
“Do we seal our newfound status with a kiss? Or, is that not allowed?”
Her smile faltered. That was unfamiliar territory. If he was to be her friend, they probably shouldn’t. But, her eyes fell to his lips, and her body quickly brought back all the feelings from just moments ago. How could she refuse?
Clearing her throat, she tried to make this as formal as possible. “If we are going to try to be friends, it would be best to stay clear of anything physical at present. However, seeing as it brings mutual pleasure, in the future, I don’t see how an occasional kiss among friends could cause any harm.”
He grinned. “Agreed. Now, please tell me what has been plaguing you lately. Every time we meet, it seems you become less and less like the Kaylee I’ve come to know. What has brought this about?”
Hating to ruin the light mood they had created, Kaylee crossed the room to look out the window. The snow had melted and with it, she hoped for warmer weather. She needed more warmth in her life. It seemed lately the freezing weather had seeped into her flesh.
“Everywhere I turn, I am being pressured to marry. During the seasons I spent as a debutante, I don’t remember it being like this. Perhaps that was because I expected to marry as well.”
He let out a mirthless laugh. “Then, it’s a wonder you trust me with this. I haven’t been any better. Demanding you marry me as well.”
The bitterness in his voice surprised her, and she turned around. “I do trust you, and you haven’t pushed again. Don’t take the blame for my feelings upon yourself.”
“As a friend, am I allowed to ask difficult questions?”
Knowing she probably wouldn’t like this didn’t change the fact she couldn’t pick and choose how she wanted their friendship to go. “What kind of friend would I be if I refused?”
“Are you against marriage completely or is it a particular man you are waiting for?” The pain on his face told her the question cost him.
She looked away, unable to handle the sight. “I just don’t wish to marry. I’ve seen the effects on a person, and I don’t see it as something for me.”
“Not even for the convenience?” His words were a whisper that she barely understood. “Simply to remove the pressure from everyone?”
Stunned, Kaylee turned back to look at him. He didn’t resemble a man who was offering a marriage of convenience to get himself out of an uncomfortable situation. For an unknown reason, he looked . . . broken. Clearly, the very mention of the option was distasteful to him.
Swallowing, she realized he must not be offering for himself. Likely, he was suggesting she find someone else for the position. For himself, he seemed rather comfortable with Miss Jubal. Their personalities didn’t seem to match in her opinion, and the idea of
them together didn’t sit well with her, but that was not her decision.
Before she could respond, the door opened, admitting her mother. The sparkle in her eyes only elicited Kaylee’s anger. How could the woman do something so scandalous to her own daughter? Didn’t she realized the risks had Simon been a less scrupulous character?
“That was exciting!” Her mother announced. “I avoided everyone and managed to return undetected. Did you two have a pleasant chat?”
Kaylee glared at her mother and noticed Simon’s silence.
“I’ll take the silence to mean my timing was inopportune. Don’t worry, my lord, if you can spare any time to visit the townhouse, I’ll ensure you have the time to finish your . . . conversation.”
Shock, embarrassed, and furious, Kaylee stomped from the room. This needed to end now. She had no idea how far her mother was willing to take matters to ensure she find a husband, but clearly it would be farther than Kaylee was comfortable with. In the future, Kaylee refused to play along.
Once she found the hostess, she made excuses for both her mother and herself. They were leaving right now. She would do whatever necessary to find those jewels for her brother. She’d already held up her end of the bargain.
~ ~ ~
“And, I win again.” Disgusted, Simon threw the cards on the table at the club.
Anson blinked. “The game’s over?”
Slamming back another brandy, Simon let out a laugh. “You haven’t paid attention to the last four rounds. If we’d been playing for actual items, you’d owe me both your properties, and probably your wife by now.”
His friend growled. “Don’t speak of Miranda like she’s property.”
In an effort to show he was jesting, Simon raised his hands. “I never intended that. I would have offered myself to her as a substitute. Heaven knows she would choose me over your morose ass any day.”
The fire in his friend’s gaze only brought out Simon’s laughter. It was nice to see he wasn’t the only person suffering so greatly at the hands of a woman. Although Anson had been suffering for far longer than Simon, it was pleasant to share in the misery.
“You are a bastard,” Anson grumbled.
Lifting his glass, Simon offered a toast. “To all the men out there who are in pain at the hand of a woman.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Anson touched his glass to Simon’s before drinking deep. “It’s an epidemic.”
Simon wrinkled his brow. “You know, I’m not sure if you belong in the same pool as the rest of us poor men. After all, you have succeeded in the ultimate fight. She married you. That’s a step a lot of us have been denied.”
With a sigh, Anson refill both glasses. “That’s only half the battle. Miranda is quite special, and she drives me to distraction. You know how much work and effort it took for me to claim her, now I have to keep her. In truth, I’d say this is much harder.”
“I can’t fathom that. It takes months of getting to know a lady, setting up a good foundation of friendship and trust. And, there is passion, a buildup of it to navigate. Then, you ask her to marry you. And, she refuses. What can you do? How is what you are doing more difficult than knowing you’ve already lost her before you even have a chance?”
The look Anson shot him was devoid of emotion. “Let’s hope you never have to find out. Now, are you going to deal the cards or do I need to find another partner?”
Grumbling, Simon dealt the cards then proceeded to trounce his friend each and every hand they played. By the time Anson took his leave, the man was drunk, diverted, and tired. Unfortunately, Simon was none of those things. Yet. He pulled the bottle closer and removed the stopper.
Thoughts of Kaylee filled his mind. She trusted him with her friendship, but wanted nothing more from him. Recalling how desperate he’d been that he’d actually offered her a marriage of convenience brought bile to his throat. He rubbed a hand across his face. She rejected him so fully that he had nowhere else to go from here but to be her bloody friend. He gulped a few drinks.
Sadly, he wasn’t even sure how to do that. How could he share an innocent relationship with her when all he thought about was having her in every sense of the word? And worse, what would he do if she found a man she decided fit the part of her husband? He couldn’t sit by and watch. Besides, he needed to marry soon.
“Drowning in sorrows?” Leyson plopped down in the chair Anson had vacated. “I heard about your father’s stipulation in his will.”
Simon clenched his teeth and fought off the urge to shove his fist in the man’s face. “I don’t see how that concerns you.”
Chuckling, the man leaned back in his seat and crossed his ankles. “Don’t you? From the way I see it, you are soon going to tire of your plaything and get to serious matters with your approaching deadline. I’m simply going to be there waiting.”
It took significant effort to remember how Kaylee didn’t want Leyson to be harmed, lest he retaliate and tell her secrets. One day, Simon would have his satisfaction. He didn’t know when, but it would come.
“Why are you so set on having her? And, don’t give me that line about her being free with her favors. You and I both know that’s not true.”
An evil glint lit the man’s eyes. “Do you not find the girl attractive? With the way you’ve been chasing after her, either you consider her to be a great beauty or she’s lifting her skirts for you quite freely.”
Pushed beyond measure, Simon stood, his chair screeching on the floor. “Learn to speak with more respect, or I’ll be forced to beat it into you.”
Leyson laughed. “Sit down, Washburne. You’re too drunk to be able to stand straight, let alone get one punch in. Besides, I didn’t come over here to fight you. I came to help.”
“How could you possibly help me?” Simon crossed his arms, unable to force himself to sit back down at the table with the bloody man.
“That woman isn’t someone you want to marry, if that’s what you’re looking to her for. Although her blood is noble, she’s been living as no better than a common street whore for years now.”
Red colored Simon’s vision. “You don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Yes, I do. Miss Shepherd has been working as an instructor. Teaching both men and women. That’s not the kind of woman you should be looking at to marry.”
It would be so easy to lunge at the man and tackle him to the ground, but Leyson was right about one thing, with his decreased vision, Simon imagined he’d be useless in a fight.
Giving the man a hard stare, Simon willed himself to remember every bit of this. “The next time we have a conversation, and anything disparaging about Miss Shepherd is mentioned, you will be lucky to walk away from it.”
With that, Simon turned and made his way out of the club. He had no idea what had happened between Kaylee and Leyson, but he didn’t like it. He wouldn’t allow that man to be anywhere near her. Otherwise, Leyson would pay.
~ ~ ~
“I have never heard anyone more skilled on the pianoforte than you.” Lord Hampton offered his arm and led Kaylee to sit beside him in the drawing room. “My daughter never had the patience to truly become proficient.”
Kaylee smiled, knowing a few people like that as well. “There is quite a bit of practice involved. One doesn’t earn the skill without a love for the instrument first. At least, that’s how I feel, my lord.”
His eyes twinkled as he smiled. “Why haven’t you married, my dear. I find you to be an absolute joy to be around.”
Keeping her smile in place was a chore. There it was again. Over the past weeks, she’d been unsuccessful in her attempt to find the viscountess’s jewels or convince her mother to end her current quest. It didn’t help that Simon had resumed his visits.
Much to her dismay, those visits had become highlights for her, and
she didn’t like how dependent she had become on him for her happiness. Nor did she like what her mother was seeing as a result. Kaylee had done her best to keep distance between her and Simon and she could read his confusion, but there was no help for it. Her mother had all but called the banns. Kaylee almost shuddered at the thought of hearing her name called in church without warning.
“Sometimes we are powerless to control those types of outcomes,” she answered cryptically. After all, he, being a gentleman, would never understand her decision to remain unmarried.
“That’s because men are fools. If I wasn’t so old, I’d whisk you away to Gretna Green before you could think twice.”
She blushed at the compliment. “Then, I suppose it’s good you are not younger for my mother would be rather vexed. After all, I understand she is preparing my wedding already, and I have no groom or prospects of one.”
The marquis laughed, making Kaylee smile. “Women put too much effort in the formality of the ceremony. The truth of the situation is the oath you are making to each other.”
Tilting her head, she studied him. “Why, my lord, you are a romantic!”
He shook his graying head. “The marchioness and I were married for over thirty years before her illness took her away from me. I am not a romantic. I just know how to keep happiness between a husband and a wife.”
As she studied the gentleman, she wondered what it was about her that had garnered his attention. He was a good man, and she wished she knew more like him. Honestly, if there were more of him, the idea of marriage may not be so distasteful to her.
“Then, what is the secret? Tell me what I must do to have happiness with a husband for as long as you shared it with your wife.”
“I don’t think so. You can’t simply have the knowledge of my lifetime without putting any effort into it. No. First, you find your gentleman. After you bring him to me, then I shall tell you.”
To Tame a Viscount (Reformed Rakes Book 2) Page 14