by A. M. Brooks
“Mmm,” I answer, my head tilting back to give his lips better access while thinking over the information he shared.
“What did your cooks make?” He asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.
I roll my eyes, before pushing him back into a seated position. “You know I was only really rich for the past few years, right? I didn’t grow up that way. My mom always cooked our dinners. She makes a wicked lasagna.”
We eye each other. His hands rest against the bare skin on my back. “I forgot,” he admits. My shoulders lift before I lean in to press a light kiss against his lips. I’d rather not fight with Ciaran. Soon, his lips move with mine, and his tongue dips into my mouth, running along my own. We tangle and fight against each other. My arms wind around his neck, and my legs squeeze against him. It literally looks like I’m trying to burrow his body into mine.
Ciaran stands, his hands flexing around my butt, holding me in place against him. My legs lock around his waist while he carries me over to the bottom bed. My back hits the rail as I’m propped against it. His hoodie comes off, followed by his t-shirt. My fingers greedily scrape and pull against the skin he’s just bared to me. He grunts, before his hand dips between us, and opens me wider. My legs drop suddenly, and the jeans I’m wearing hit the floor with his. He sighs in frustration, before coming back to my boy shorts and yanking them down, too. I’m picked up again, this time, my center rubs along the ridges of his washboard abs, leaving my wetness against his skin.
“Fuck,” he breathes out against my mouth, finally pulling away. We’re both breathing hard, taking each other in, and I can’t get enough. I want to be closer. Over him, under him, next to him, it doesn’t matter.
Ciaran turns to sit on the edge of the bed, situating my legs, so I’m straddling him again. He hands me a foil packet, and I waste no time opening the condom and rolling it down his erection, before lining us up and sliding down his length in one go. He fills me to the brim, stretching and creating a delicious ache in my abdomen. I start to grind against him, alternating kisses between lifting and lowering myself back down onto him. Beads of sweat trickle down my back from trying to stay in control, to make the connection last as long as possible. His blue orbs are wild beneath hooded eyes. His lips swollen from the kisses and pulls my mouth has taken from them.
We move in rhythm, kissing, touching, and biting. The air turns thick with the smell of sex. All I can feel, see, smell and touch is Ciaran. The first wave of my orgasm chases into another, buckling my body forward, when it crashes.
“Fuck, Saylor, Fuck!” His hips jolt up against me, bouncing my breasts against his chest, as he chases his own release, grinding against me as he empties into the condom.
My head drops to his shoulder, exhaustion taking over. For the first time today, my body is completely relaxed. Ciaran rolls me onto the bed and pulls the covers up around me. I watch as he walks, naked, to the trash and wraps the condom in a paper towel, before shoving it out of sight. He comes back to me and slides under the covers. The bunks are barely a twin size. His long body curls around mine, blocking the chilled air. I bury my head under his chin. It doesn’t take long before his breathing lulls me into unconsciousness.
The next morning, Ciaran wakes us up early enough for one more round of desperate, on the verge of meaningful, intense sex. We’re close to crossing that boundary when ‘just sex’ becomes making love. At least for me anyway. Every time we touch, a new wave of lust burns through me. I’m terrified that, at this rate, I’ll never be able to let him go someday. After, we scramble to get dressed and air out the room before the guys return. Kai was kind enough to send a warning text a half hour ago.
When they do get back, Kai grins widely and waggles his eyebrows at me. “Shut up.” I push him away, which only earns more laughter. Silas looks pissed at the world and disappointed, like he lost a high stakes bet. I try not to examine how that makes me feel. We waste no time getting back to Savage Lakes and unpacking. Matt isn’t home, but he did leave a note, telling the guys to get to the garage when they get back. I end the night alone, in my room, with leftover pizza and an English paper. Between last night and this morning, Ciaran wore me out, and I can’t even keep my eyes open to wait up for him.
The next morning, I wake up alone, Ciaran’s usual scent gone from my pillow. My lips pull down in a frown. He must not have come home last night. I quickly shower and get ready for school. One look around the kitchen confirms that neither of the guys came back last night. I try not to think too hard about the fact I spent all night completely alone in the house. My hand slams to my chest when a horn honks outside. I peek out the window to find Winter parked in front of my house. I quickly grab my bag and lock up.
We catch up on our weekends during the drive. Winter’s jaw drops when she finds out I spent the weekend with the guys. “All three of them?” she asks again.
“Stop saying it like that.” I roll my eyes, laughing at what she’s insinuating.
“I’m sorry, it’s just never happened that one girl, any girl or a group of girls, for that matter, has ever spent time alone with them,” she explains. For some reason, her words warm my heart. I can’t say that Kai and Silas were happy to be around me, but they didn’t flat out ignore me or be rude to me either.
Pulling into the parking lot, I notice that none of their vehicles are here yet. My fingers itch to send a text to Ciaran, asking him if everything is okay. I push it down, frowning, thinking it would be something a real girlfriend would do. We still haven’t made any decisions on what we’re doing, but Ciaran has been adamant he doesn’t want to have the boyfriend, girlfriend label. I tuck my phone back in my pocket and ignore the uncertainty coursing through my mind. I replay the events from the weekend over in my memory. Nothing was out of the ordinary. The car ride home was just as uneventful as the ride up. There was no sign I did anything that could have pissed Ciaran off for him to ignore me.
After the first three hours and lunch, I’ve still not seen any of the guys. I finally cave and send a generic you alive? text to Ciaran. It is delivered and opened, but he doesn’t respond. As soon as lunch is over, I’m up out of my seat and sprinting to my locker. The irrational idea to skip the rest of the day and head to Rogue’s Car Repairs infiltrates my mind. I’m about to grab my jacket when a chest pushes against my arm. My head snaps in his direction, only to find Bentley standing there instead of who I wanted it to be.
“Can I help you?” I ask, wondering why he’s at my locker and invading my space. My feet shuffle to the side, trying to put some distance between us.
His lips crack into a blinding smile. “Haven’t talked to you in a while, Waters. You weren’t at the party this weekend either. Come to think of it, neither was your boy, Jakobe.” His fingers drum against his lips.
I fight to keep my face neutral, pulling that mask of indifference back on. It’s been so long since I’ve worn it, I almost forgot how it feels to pretend not to care. “What a coincidence.” I shrug, acting like his words humor me more than anything.
Bentley’s eyes narrow. My reaction is not at all what he wanted. His hand lands on my forearm, yanking me to him. I’m about to scream, when a fist flies to the side of his head. Bentley rears back, letting me go, cupping his face. Blood pours out the side of his mouth. Ciaran stands in front of me, Kai and Silas off to the side, ready to jump in if needed. By now, there is a crowd gathering. I force myself to stand still and not reach out for Ciaran.
“How many more times do I have to tell you not to touch what’s mine, Rhodes?” Ciaran taunts, before slamming his leg up into Bentley’s face. The impact causes him to fall backward on the ground, Ciaran towering above him. “You fucking touch her one more time, I’ll break both your arms. We’ll see how far you get in your college football career then. Stay the fuck away from her.”
Bentley shuffles to his feet, his eyes wild, and teeth bloody. “Yours, huh?” He spits at the ground. My breath hitches when it clicks for me, too. Ciaran just claimed me in front o
f a large chunk of the student body. Our relationship is against the rules. Bentley shoulders his way past the crowd, leaving everyone behind.
I keep my eyes on the floor, my heart beating out of rhythm. Ciaran looks ready to step in my direction, before Silas curses and leaves out the side door. Kai jogs after him, followed by Ciaran. Without thinking, I chase after them, too. I follow them into the parking lot where Silas and Ciaran look like they’re about to go head to head. Kai stands between them, a hand on each of their chests.
“Please stop!” I beg, tears gathering in my eyes. I don’t want to destroy them. I can’t hurt Ciaran this way.
“Go back inside,” Ciaran yells in my direction. I ignore him and keep stepping forward.
“You should listen to your family wrecking girlfriend, Ci,” Silas growls back. The sting of his words feel like a slap to the face.
“Shut your mouth, Si,” Ciaran barks back. For the first time, he looks unhinged. Guilt spreads through my veins like wildfire. I won’t be my dad. I won’t destroy lives.
“I’m sorry, Silas,” I yell, pulling all of their attention to me and off each other. “Whatever my family did to yours, I’m sorry. I had no way of stopping it. You guys can’t let this happen to each other, though. What do I need to do to fix it?”
“You want to fix it.” Silas takes a few steps toward me, and Kai scrambles to keep him from reaching me. I shrink back from the look of pure hate and rage dancing in his eyes. “Leave. That’s how you fix it. Everything you touch, everything your family touches is ruined.”
I struggle to breathe. Ciaran’s head hangs down, defeated. Like he believes what Silas just said. Like he thinks the same things about me. Kai and Ciaran don’t argue with him or defend me.
I shake my head. “I can’t right now, Silas, even if I wanted to. I can’t go---.”
He pulls out of Kai’s hold and stomps over to his truck, cutting me off. A sob escapes my throat, my face in agony with embarrassment. I sprint back into the school and away from the boy who just broke another piece of my heart with his quiet defense for his friend. It no longer matters that he claimed me just minutes before. He may want me, but he’ll never choose me over Silas. I won’t destroy their friendship. And the truth is, eventually, we’ll go our separate ways anyhow. He’s graduating soon. I have no idea when my expiration date is in Minnesota, but at some point, I’ll be leaving, too.
I grab my jacket and bag out of my locker and dip out the door again. My heart pounds so loudly in my chest, it aches after being stomped all over. Blood rushes in my ears, blocking out all noise, except for my erratic breathing. I’m desperate to get away. My eyes burn with unshed tears when I finally make it to the fence and hop over. My feet jog over the ice and snow until I reach the main road. Once I know where I am, it’s easier to walk. I pull my iPod from my pocket and press the headphones in place. I listen to Natalie Taylor’s “Surrender” on repeat, until I reach my destination. Once I get to the clearing by the lake, I slip my watch off and change the time. I take my phone out and snap a pic of my watch surrounded by my hair and post it to #MNGirl. Within minutes, the post is liked. My chest heaves. I fall to my knees and sit back on the edge of my jacket to keep from getting completely wet and hug my legs to my chest.
Time slips by, and before I know it, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I swipe up to accept the call.
“S?” Her voice filters through the phone. I sob in reply. We sit while I cry. She keeps talking, telling me stories and letting me get it all out.
“I’m sorry,” I croak and wince at the sound.
“It’s okay,” Oaklynn responds, “Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” I give a watery chuckle, “I just needed my best friend.”
“I’m always here for you, Babe,” she responds. Her phone bumps and rubs against fabric. I hear her voice muffled, and she sounds like she’s walking. “Sorry, I had to change rooms. Ollie is home on break, so, of course, he’s always around.”
“How is Ollie?” I ask. Her twin brother attends a prestigious school in England. He’s rarely home, but when he is, Oaklynn loves spending time with him. They’re close, and I know the distance hurts her.
“Same old, same old.” She laughs lightly. “He, uh, he’s actually been spending a lot of time with Nash.”
“Nash?” I ask, noticing that his name doesn’t affect me anymore like it used to, only months ago.
“Yeah,” she explains, “You know they were friends before Ollie left. He’s been here almost every day since Ollie’s been back.”
“Well, that’s nice for them at least,” I reply.
“Nash has been weird since you disappeared,” Oaklynn rushes out. “At first, he was mopey. He was fighting everyone who had something negative to say about you or your family. Now, he’s here all the time, and I swear him and Ollie have brought you up to my parents a handful of times now. My mom even was contemplating going back to the authorities.” Her voice gets lower during the last few parts, like she’s trying to keep quiet, so no one can hear her.
“Well, that’s nice of your parents and Ollie to be concerned,” I tell her. My feelings about Nash swirl in my chest. I wait for the usual tension to appear. If you had asked me six months ago, I would have sworn he could be the love of my life. Now, I realize how stupid that was. I replay that last night over again and how he ghosted me by not showing up.
“Nash probably just feels guilty he didn’t show up and then I was gone. It’s all honestly over with now. I know we weren’t meant to be together,” I explain, the best way I can. Even while she talks about my ex-boyfriend, all I can think about is startling blue eyes and messy blond hair.
“Oh, yeah.” Oaklynn giggles. “Is there a certain guy who has your attention there?”
“No,” I answer too quickly, and Oaklynn practically cackles with glee.
“I just...I have no connection with Nash. I wanted to be accepted,” I tell her.
“What’s his name?” she asks, seeing through my bullshit, like always.
“Oak,” My voice cracks with laughter.
“Is he listening?” She fires off more questions.
“God, I hope not,” I laugh, not even anticipating that could be a thing.
“You really like him, huh?” Her voice is judgment free and understanding. This is what I needed. This is why I risked everything to hear her voice. Tears clog my throat again.
“I only see him, O,” I break into the phone.
“Our timer is going to go off,” she replies.
“I know. I’m sorry, Oak. I know this could be dangerous. I shouldn’t have called,” I apologize, feeling like the worst friend ever.
“Don’t you dare.” Her voice turns hard. “I’m not losing you for good. We promised to live in a big house someday and drink lemonade on the porch, wearing big ugly sun hats.”
I laugh, remembering that pinky promise after our first time dipping into her mom’s Smirnoff Ice coolers. “I promise,” I tell her.
“Good,” she replies. The phone starts beeping. “Love you, wild.”
“Love you, crazy,” I reply, before the line shuts off.
I ugly cry the entire walk back to town. It started snowing again, the huge flakes catching in my hair and swirling it around. Each time it pelts my face, the flakes melt against my hot tears. I haul my ass into Rogue’s, prepared to grovel with Matt to let me stay and work. Instead, Ciaran meets me in the parking lot. My spine straightens, prepared to go to battle again. Nothing surprises me more than when his hands bury in my hair, and his mouth slams on mine. His warm lips grind against my cold ones. He kisses me hard and angry, like he wants to swallow me whole. My arms circle around his neck.
“I only see you, too,” he breathes against my lips. A blush creeps up my neck to my cheeks. Those fuckers were listening. Before I can say anything, he picks me up, my feet dangling, and carries me over to his truck that is parked far enough in the back, away from anyone who may see us. He throws my body into the pas
senger seat and follows me in. He hits the lock, before going for my mouth again.
“Cameras?” I gasp against his lips, luckily half my brain is still working. This is twice in one day that I’ve seen Ciaran reckless, and I’m not sure how to handle it. He usually operates on instinct and the orders he’s given.
“Kai will fix it,” he assures me in-between kisses.
His hands are an unstoppable force, yanking my jacket down and ripping apart the buttons on my flannel shirt. I’m just as greedy for him, tugging his shirt and fumbling to push his joggers down. Shoes hit the floorboards in our efforts, my bra lands somewhere on the dashboard, before I’m laid back across the seats. Ciaran’s body covers the top of mine, and I’m thankful for the snow covering the windshield and windows. Even though they’re tinted, giving the auto shop a peep show is not on my list of things I want to do.
I barely breathe, before Ciaran slams into me, pinning me to the seat, with one hand twisted in my hair. The burn on my scalp, the dominating way he holds my body, makes me wetter for him. My back arches off the seat, his teeth pull and suck at my nipple, while his free hand squeezes and pinches the other. The sensations are too strong and too much; it pushes me right over the edge into an orgasm that steals my breath, silencing my scream and blacking out my vision momentarily. Ciaran doesn’t give me a chance to recover, before his hips pick up speed, each thrust deep and penetrating. His teeth clamp down on my shoulder, and I cry out, moaning his name. When he empties inside me, a flush makes its way all over my skin.
Ciaran swoops down, dropping kisses anywhere the red patches show up. I feel him tense suddenly, my eyes follow his gaze to where we’re joined.
“Shit,” he mutters and looks back to me, eyes wide.
I know what he just noticed and I bite my lip. “I have the implant.”