“I keep pinching myself…”
All her life she’d feared Ben might refuse contact with her daughter if Maggie ever found her. I didn’t really know him, either.
Trust in Me with all your heart, My daughter.
Maggie chuckled. “I guess God must be smiling pretty big right now.”
Amanda clung to Maggie again, and she could feel the girl nodding in agreement. “I’m so glad you’ve been thinking about me, Mrs…”
She let the word hang there for a moment, and Maggie leaned back far enough to see her daughter’s questioning eyes. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“I guess I d-d-don’t know what to call you yet.” Amanda’s face was a mixture of fear and anticipation, and Maggie felt a wave of protective love more powerful than she’d known could exist.
“Sweetheart, what do you want to call me?”
“Well…Mrs. Stovall seems kind of funny.”
Maggie glanced at Ben and saw tears form in his eyes as he watched the scene unfold. “Yeah, it is kind of funny, isn’t it? You could call me Maggie, I guess. If you want.”
Amanda cocked her head and seemed to wrestle with the idea for a moment. “No…not Maggie. That’s kind of like a sister or something.”
I don’t want to push her, Lord. “Is there something you’d like to call me?”
A single tear spilled onto Amanda’s cheek, but her gaze was unwavering as she looked deeply into Maggie’s eyes. “C-C-Can I call you Mommy?”
Maggie knew she wasn’t dreaming now, because as she pulled Amanda close again, her heart soared with a love that couldn’t be contrived even by her own imagination. “Yes, honey, yes. Call me Mommy, little girl. I’ve prayed for you every day, Amanda. Thought of you and wondered about you. I am your mommy, I’ll always be your mommy, and it would be the greatest gift in the world to have you call me that.”
Ben came closer and wrapped his arms around them both so that they were clustered in a group hug that seemed to need no words. When he straightened again Maggie saw him nudge Amanda and send her a lopsided grin. “I think I’m the only one with no name.”
Amanda laughed. “That’s silly. If she’s my mom, that makes you my dad.” A troubled look settled over her face. “You know that mean guy, the one who took me from the school bus?”
“Yes…”
Alarm sliced through the warmth of the moment and Maggie flashed a wide-eyed look at Ben. He held up a hand and shook his head as if to tell her this, too, could wait until they had time to talk alone.
“He said he was my dad. Is that true?”
Maggie felt her heart lurch and she gulped back the questions she was frantic to ask. Then she reached for Ben’s hand and pulled him close. “Honey, I think you already answered that question a minute ago when you said if I’m Mom, Mr. Stovall must be Dad.”
Amanda sighed and nodded her head. “Good. That’s what I thought.”
Maggie smoothed a hand over Amanda’s hair. “What’s your middle name, Amanda?”
“Joy. Amanda Joy Brownell…unless I get adopted.” She grinned at Ben again, and Maggie wondered what they’d been talking about the past few days. She had so much to catch up on; she could barely wait to hear the weeks of details she’d missed out on.
Then it hit her.
“Joy? Your middle name is Joy, honey?”
Amanda nodded. “Isn’t it pretty? The Brownells told me they gave me that name because I brought so much joy to their lives.”
Maggie caught her breath. Joy was what she’d been missing all these years and now, when she finally had been set free from the darkness, joy had come to stay. Homeless, full-hearted, lonely little Amanda Joy.
“Well, it’s almost dinnertime…” Ben met Maggie’s gaze and held it, his question clear.
She smiled at him. Dear, sweet Ben. How had she ever for a moment thought he’d turn his back on her for telling the truth? God, You were right again…I had only to trust You and everything has fallen in place. She directed her gaze at Amanda again. “If you guys’ll help me pack, I’d like to join you for dinner. We have a lot to catch up on, don’t you think?”
At the thought of Maggie coming home with them, Amanda was back in her arms, her hands clasped tightly around Maggie.
Maggie smiled. “I love you, honey. I’ve always loved you.”
There was silence for a moment and then the muffled sound of Amanda’s voice, ringing with sincerity. “I love you…Mommy.”
In that moment Maggie knew she was blessed beyond anything she’d ever known or imagined, and that no matter what happened from that point on, she would be thankful for this time with Amanda as long as she lived.
That same afternoon a hearing was wrapping up in Judge Hutchison’s courtroom.
“Mr. McFadden, do you understand that you are being charged with felony kidnapping, and that the sentence for this crime—should you be found guilty—is a possible life in prison?”
John McFadden stood upright, his shoulders straight, and met the judge’s gaze head on. “Yes, your honor.”
“Very well then, how do you plead?”
“Not guilty, your honor.”
The judge wrote something on his pad of paper and checked a thick book at his side. “This case will be handed over for judgment and will be given a preliminary trial to be scheduled the third week of January. Your attorney will inform you of the exact date as the time draws closer. Until that time you will remain in the…”
John tuned him out. The fact that he was the girl’s father should get him a lighter sentence. It was what his attorney had suggested, and it sounded all right to him.
But it didn’t matter, really.
All that had mattered since that day was the way his little girl’s faith had been unwavering, even in the face of extreme danger. Jesus loves you…I’m praying for you… He might never see her again, but her words had come back to him over and over—and with them, he felt a certain…peace. They could do what they wanted with him now; his drug-dealing days were behind him for good.
Somehow he’d come to believe his daughter’s words, and that belief made his heart light with a hope that was as foreign to him as the message she’d given him that day.
Jesus loves you…Jesus loves you…Jesus loves you.
It didn’t make sense, not by a long shot, but John felt freed by those words. And if Jesus loved him, he was going to spend the rest of his life trying to figure out why.
Thirty-seven
GRADUALLY THE PHONE CALLS GREW LESS FREQUENT, AND KATHY took that as a good sign. In fact, the letter was the first she’d heard from Amanda in two weeks.
Kathy waited until she was alone with a cup of coffee before reading it. She studied Amanda’s painstakingly neat printing—Amanda must have been doing better in school, penmanship was never her strong point. On the back of the envelope, Amanda had drawn two hearts and written underneath, “Love and kisses.”
Kathy slit open the envelope and took out the folded note inside. The carefully written sentences took up the top half of the page, and at the bottom was a picture of Amanda and the Stovalls with a caption underneath that read, “Mommy, Daddy, and me.”
The picture spoke volumes, and Kathy smiled and shook her head. Lord, You’re amazing. Who’d have ever thought this would happen to Amanda Joy? She moved her eyes to the top of the page and began reading.
Dear Kathy,
I just got legally adopted and I’m so happy God has answered every one of my prayers. We went into court and Mr. Stovall told the judge he wanted to be my dad forever. Then my mommy told the judge she wanted me for always and ever. And the judge asked me what I thought and I said I wanted to be with them, too. So he made us a family. But really the truth is God did that, right? I miss you and the kids. But mostly you. I love you always.
Love, Amanda Joy Stovall.
Amanda Joy Stovall. Kathy’s heart swelled with gratitude for all God had done for the child. Thousands of kids were wasting away in state-run foster sys
tems across the country, but Amanda had found a way out because her faith had never once wavered. She read the letter again and let her eyes settle on Amanda’s drawing. Kathy studied it and noticed something she hadn’t before. In the past, Amanda’s hand-drawn people had straight lines where the mouth should be. They weren’t dark or sad or odd-looking. Just adorned with straight-line mouths. But this picture was different.
All three people were smiling.
For just a moment there was a familiar stinging in Kathy’s eyes and a single teardrop landed on the picture. She would never forget Amanda, not ever. Her situation had seemed utterly hopeless to everyone—everyone but a little girl with a heart as good and big as her future had suddenly become.
And to her God—who in the end had been bigger than all of them put together.
The church service was under way and Amanda—wearing her pale pink chiffon dress—sat nestled between Maggie and Ben. It was her big day, and they had bought the new dress to mark the occasion. Maggie glanced down at Amanda and savored the way her daughter’s small fingers felt linked with her own. Amanda loved to hold Maggie’s hand, and although Maggie still felt deep sorrow for the years she’d missed with her daughter, she was too busy cherishing the current days to dwell long on the past.
The music that Sunday was particularly moving, and it allowed Maggie a moment to reflect on all she’d learned over the last three months. She’d worked through the feelings of shock and anger over the truth about Amanda’s time in foster care, and though she was grateful her daughter had survived, a part of her would always hurt over what had happened. She tried not to play the “what if” game, but now and then she’d catch herself wondering how different things might have been if she’d followed her heart all those years ago.
Then there were the details of Ben’s search for who she was; why she’d succumbed to the darkness of depression; his dangerous encounter with John McFadden; and the man’s eventual kidnapping of Amanda. Never had she imagined Ben would love her like that, without standards or expectations, but just because she was his wife. His other half. He was so much more a godly man than she’d ever believed possible, and she was struck daily by how horribly different things might have been if he hadn’t been devoted to God’s will through it all.
The music played on, and Maggie’s heart soared as she recalled the several meetings they’d had with Kathy Garrett, a woman for whom Maggie would be forever grateful. Kathy was a living example of why one could never generalize about the pitfalls of the state-run foster system. After all, without the system, Amanda never would have known the love of that one, very dedicated and devoted woman.
Maggie could still hardly believe all that had happened while she was at Orchards. She went once a week now for follow-up counseling, but the darkness was so far gone it felt as though it had happened to a different person altogether.
What she’d learned at Orchards had given her perhaps the most amazing truths of all—that in Christ there is only honesty, no matter how grave or wrong or desperate life becomes. That only in that truthful place can the sunshine of God’s grace and joy and forgiveness find its way through the darkness.
The music stopped, and the worship leader opened his Bible and began to read. Beside Maggie, Amanda looked up and smiled first at her, then at Ben. Oh, Lord, I can’t believe she’s really here. Thank you…thank you. It was a prayer that was constantly on Maggie’s heart.
The worship leader was saying, “Proverbs tells us there are times when our lives take a wrong turn, for whatever reason, and when that happens there is one thing we must remember. Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
Maggie’s eyes flew open. It was the verse! The very one that had spoken to her heart whenever things seemed desperate and hopeless. Of all the days to have it read in church…Out of the corner of her eye she caught Ben motioning to her as if he had something important to say. They leaned close, forming a shelter over Amanda.
“That’s the Scripture,” he whispered so quietly that Maggie knew Amanda couldn’t hear him. “Whenever I thought things were hopeless, that verse came to me.”
Maggie felt goose bumps rise along her arms and neck. “Me too!”
Ben gave her a look of amazement. “The same verse?”
She nodded, and they exchanged a look that said they’d probably spend hours on the subject later, like they did on so many topics these days, almost as though they were newly-weds again. Only this time they had nothing to hide, and the intimacy of their hearts was greater than Maggie had ever imagined.
As they returned their focus on the worship leader, Maggie was overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. Lord, how could it be? You were speaking the same promise to each of us? During the darkest time in our lives? Peace washed over her at the mercy they’d both been shown. Everything I have is because of You…my marriage, my life—she glanced at Amanda beside her—especially my daughter.
The worship leader moved from the piano to center stage and interrupted Maggie’s thoughts. “We have something special we’d like to do before the sermon today.” He smiled, and Maggie thought there were tears in his eyes. “If the Stovall family will please come up.”
Maggie and Ben rose, each taking one of Amanda’s hands as they made their way up front. When they had turned to face the congregation, the worship leader explained that the couple wanted to dedicate their newly adopted daughter, Amanda Joy. While he was talking, Maggie saw someone near the back of the church that made her heart swell.
Laura Thompson.
The two women caught each other’s gaze over the crowd. Maggie could still hear Laura’s tearful voice. “I’ve been praying for you night and day dear…night and day…night and day…”
God had been faithful in so many things! Laura had been down with the flu for two weeks, but here she was, well enough to be part of Amanda’s dedication service. God, You are good beyond words.
Maggie glanced down at Amanda and caught the love in her daughter’s eyes as she looked from her to Ben and back again, squeezing their hands.
Maggie focused her attention on what the minister was saying. “Is it your desire to raise this child in a Christian home, in the love and knowledge of Jesus Christ?”
I’ve never known any greater desire, Lord. Ben and Maggie nodded in unison. They had planned ahead that Ben would speak at this point, so the worship leader handed him the microphone.
“Some of you know what Maggie and I have been through these past few months.” He scanned the people before him. “I just want to tell you that whatever you’re going through, whatever thing you’re up against today, give it to God. Seek Him with all your heart, because the Scripture we heard a few moments ago is a promise straight from heaven.” He looked from Maggie to Amanda and smiled. “The three of us are here today as living proof.”
Maggie watched him with a full heart, amazed at how totally and completely she had fallen in love with him since returning home. I never would have believed it, Lord… He was wonderful with Amanda, and Maggie knew he loved her unconditionally, the way she had only dreamed of being loved.
The worship leader took the microphone back. “Why don’t some of you come up and surround this family as we pray for them.”
Led by Laura Thompson, people—many of whom were now familiar with their story—came and circled them in a wreath of support that brought tears to Maggie’s eyes. Laura laid her hand on Maggie’s shoulder and bowed her head, eyes closed. While the worship leader prayed aloud, the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit surrounded them and Maggie was washed in the light of God’s love and kindness. Suddenly she had the strangest sensation that Laura was sick, sicker than any of them knew. And that praying for her these past months had been her last earthly task.
No, Lord, don’t let it be so…
Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him…
Maggie
felt her eyes sting with the beginning of tears. Whatever Laura’s future, she would forever be part of the Stovall family, and if it would soon be Maggie’s turn to pray for a season, she would welcome the task. The way a family should.
The music started again, and Maggie recognized the tune: “Great Is Thy Faithfulness.”
They huddled close, with Ben’s arms around Maggie and Amanda, and Laura praying beside them. Together they sang as one.
“Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee…”
Maggie felt the tears fall onto her face as she clung to her husband and daughter. This was a hymn that had brought pains of conviction in the past, conviction because she, herself, had lived in the shadows far too long, blind to the faithfulness of her God. But the conviction was gone now, and in its place was unspeakable joy. Their three voices rang together and it was the sweetest sound Maggie could remember hearing.
“Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided…”
With Amanda snuggled closely between them, Maggie and Ben looked at each other. Their eyes met and held for the remainder of the song, and what she saw there was a love she knew would last through the years. God had given her real, lasting joy and along with it, an understanding that in Christ alone there is victory over the darkness—whatever trials might come.
They held tight to each other and finished the song together as if they were the only three people on earth.
“Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.”
Dear Reader,
I believe with all my heart that God gave me this story for such a time as this. Around us, throughout our country, the spiritual battle is heating up in more ways than we know Scripture tells us the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. To that end, I’ve seen him try two common tactics: distraction and discouragement.
Distraction often happens first. We start off meaning well, reading our Bibles and viewing life with spiritual eyes. But over time complacency veils our enthusiasm until we wake up and lie down with thoughts that have nothing to do with our Savior. We opt for a cup of coffee instead of a chapter of Scripture to get us going, and we become so caught up in the here and now we forget that our focus, that our entire lives must be directed at the ever-after if we are to live free, effective, joyful godly lives.
When Joy Came to Stay Page 34