Knights Burden (Rumblin' Knights, #4)

by Bella Jewel

Dad steps forward, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Do not think you’re crazy, son. Admire it, I really do. I just want you to be careful, to understand that sometimes, there really isn’t anything you can do. Sometimes, people don’t want to be helped. What happened to Ashley, yeah, that could have been prevented but it still wasn’t on you. Mick, he’s a grown man, not a young lady. He’s choosing what he wants in his life, don’t you see? He needs to want to help himself, nothing you can do will make that happen for him.”

  “I know,” I say, my voice husky and low. “I said I’d help him this last time, and then he’s on his own. I’m goin’ to talk to him. Tell him how it is. But don’t ask me to just leave him right now, when he’s at his worst, because I won’t do it. He needs help. I’m goin’ to give him that help.”

  “Okay,” he tells me, letting me go. “But Brody, use your brain, please. Think. Really think. And for fuck’s sake, fix things with Melanie. If I can give you any advice, it’s never let a good woman go. Ever.”

  With that, he turns and walks out.

  Fix it.

  Can I fix it?

  Or is it too late?

  18

  THEN – MELANIE

  “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU want me to say,” I whisper, staring at Brody.

  He’s at my front door.

  With those eyes.

  And that face.

  It’s so damned hard, so damned hard to stand here and not beg for him to stop it all so we can go back to being the way we were before this. Before Mick came back. Before all of the shit. When we were happy. God, we were so fucking happy. It feels like a dream now, if I’m being honest. Like it almost never happened. Like the world we lived in was something I imagined in my mind.

  I want it back so damned bad it hurts.

  “I want you to let me in,” he tells me, his voice husky.

  He’s been drinking, and now he’s here, at my doorstep, two days after I ended things with him. I’ve been home, crying my little heart out, wondering if he cares. Now he’s here, begging me to let him in. Does it take alcohol to show him what he’s missing out on? Or is it just that alcohol loosens him up enough to remember what the hell he’s doing, missing, and gives him the courage to come after it.

  “You’re drunk,” I say, my voice flat. “You haven’t called me in two days, and now you’re here because you’re drunk. I must mean a whole fucking lot to you, Brody. Really.”

  “I was giving you space,” he grinds out. “Workin’ out what I was goin’ to do before comin’ here and givin’ you an option.”

  “What a load of crap,” I snap. “You can leave now.”

  I go to shut the door but his hand slams against it, stopping me. “Listen to me, Melanie. If you think for a single fuckin’ second that I’d be okay with us breakin’ up, that I haven’t felt like my heart is bein’ torn out my chest, that I haven’t been thinkin’ of every way possible to fix this, then you don’t know how much I love you, at fuckin’ all.”

  God.

  Those words, they make my heart hurt even worse.

  Sometimes I feel like it would be easier if he didn’t care.

  “You let me walk out,” I whisper.

  “Because I didn’t know what the fuck was goin’ down in my world that day. I’d been dealin’ with Mick’s shit for days, come back and you end it in front of everyone. I was put on the spot. Then, I knew you needed some time to cool off and I needed some time to fuckin’ work out what to do.”

  I shake my head. “No, Brody. I’m sick of hearing this crap. If you loved me, truly, you’d have listened to me when this all started going wrong. You haven’t put me first, you haven’t been there for me, you can’t honestly expect me to believe you love me.”

  He steps forward, reaching out and gripping my face with those rough hands. The way his fingers curl around my cheek, the way his hands feel against my skin, makes me weak at the knees. “I love you more than anything in this entire fuckin’ world, Melanie. There is not a single thing out there that could ever fill my heart the way you do. Don’t you ever doubt that you’re the very fuckin’ reason I breathe.”

  A tear rolls down my cheek. “Mick is destroying us, Brody. I know why you’re helping him, I love you for being that person, but he’s beyond help right now.”

  “Know that,” he murmurs. “And I’m goin’ to get him out of this mess, and then I’m goin’ to step back. I swear that to you. I fuckin’ promise you, this is the end of it.”

  “He’s in danger, which means you’re still in danger. How are you going to get him out of the mess he’s in without getting hurt?”

  “I won’t get hurt, swear it to you, you just have to trust me. I’ll finish this, and then it’ll be you and I again. The way it always was.”

  I hold his eyes, and I want to believe him, god do I want to believe him.

  But I’m scared.

  “Baby,” he says, stroking his thumb over my cheek. “Please fuckin’ know that I can’t do this world without you. I fuckin’ can’t breathe right without you. Trust me on this, give me one more chance, please?”

  God damn.

  My lip trembles, and I nod.

  How can I say no?

  Brody is the love of my life.

  He is everything to me.

  I can’t live without him either.

  Which is utterly terrifying.

  Because if something happens to him, then my life ceases to be, also.

  Nobody ever warns you that love is joyful, but it’s also incredibly fucking dangerous.

  Nobody ever tells you that.

  But they should.

  Oh, they should.

  “IT’S FUCKED,” BLADE growls, pacing the room in Jack’s kitchen.

  Brody is sitting at the table with Ripley and Jack, I’m standing by the counter with Aria and Nancy, her mom, by my side.

  Mick got beaten up last night, really fucking bad. He’s now in the hospital, fighting for his life. He owes over sixty thousand to whoever it is that’s after him, and they gave him a warning. He has twenty-four hours to deliver the cash, or they kill him. Brody is beside himself, after failing at getting the contacts to try and stop this.

  I honestly can’t believe that’s how much was lost from him running out of a death match. But then, what do I know about that world? I mean, someone is running a ring where people lose their lives often, and whoever it is is totally okay with it. So my guess, the people that go and watch it, they’re just as deranged. They’re chasing something pretty darn twisted themselves.

  The guys have tried a few different things to get the cash. From getting the contact of the fighting ring and telling them Mick will fight again, for no profit, regardless of the result, but they weren’t having it. That’s not how it works, apparently. He pissed a lot of people off, a lot, and those people lost a lot of money when he bailed. Brody offered to fight for them, which I refused to let him do, because he’s not going into a fucking death match for Mick. So that was out of the question.

  Blade and Lee tried to find ways to come up with the money.

  But nobody has that kind of cash. Jack and Nancy weren’t willing to put their house on the line to get it for him. Which is understandable. I mean come on, it’s their lives at stake. Their home. Their future. Their family. Mick isn’t their son—for their son, they’d risk it all, but for a friend ... no.

  So, they were left without options, desperate with no way out.

  Mick got beaten, and now they’re all stuck trying to figure out how in the hell they’re supposed to get cash by tomorrow night.

  I’m scared.

  We’re all scared.

  Nancy wanted Brody to go to the police but he told her that was a very bad idea, and we’d all end up dead if we went in and told about this fighting ring.

  To say it’s terrifying is an understatement.

  “Damn right it’s fucked,” Brody snaps, crossing his arms, his stress going through the roof.

  “Mick is in a bad way,”
Jack adds in, crossing his arms. “There is a good chance we can’t get him out of this mess, Brody. My advice still stands. Get him out of town.”

  “They’ll fuckin’ find him,” Brody growls.

  “Not if you get his name changed. He can start again, somewhere new, away from all this crap,” Lee argues.

  “We’ll never get that shit in time. It takes fuckin’ months to change your identity, even then it isn’t fool proof.”

  “It’s a fuckin’ start,” Blade snaps. “It’s fuckin’ something, because right now we have literally no other fuckin’ options. Don’t you see that? We’re runnin’ out of time. At least if he’s hidden, then you’ll get the chance to buy him some time.”

  Brody shakes his head. “You all don’t get it, do you? They’ll find someone else, if they can’t get Mick. That could be any one of you. They’ll use whatever means they have to, to get hold of him. I’m not puttin’ my family at risk. No fuckin’ way.”

  “Too late for that,” Aria mutters.

  Brody’s head swings in her direction, a mix of hurt and shock filling his features. “Never meant to get anyone into trouble. No one. You tellin’ me, if this was Melanie, that you wouldn’t have done the exact same fuckin’ thing for her.”

  Ouch. Low blow.

  Using our friendship.

  Using whatever he can to make his point.

  “Not to this extreme, no,” Aria says coolly, unfazed by his words. “I’d have gotten her help, even if that meant I dropped her off and left her somewhere. Would I risk the lives of my family? No. Absolutely not.”

  “To be fair,” Nancy says carefully, trying to avoid this blowing up, “he didn’t exactly see this part of it coming.”

  “No,” Aria agrees, “he didn’t, but when Mick bailed on that fight, you should have removed him immediately. Away from us. Instead, you brought him here and there’s a solid chance that whoever is after him, knows we’re here now. You didn’t think, Brody, and now we’re all going to pay.”

  Brody looks like Aria has slapped him across the face. The hurt in his eyes makes me want to rush over there and hang onto him for dear life, but I know that’ll do no good whatsoever. Brody doesn’t want anyone to try and make him feel better, or give him comfort, he knows that this situation is horrible, and he knows it’s because he didn’t push Mick earlier to get help.

  He knows.

  He doesn’t need reminding.

  “Yeah,” he says, his voice low. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not going to let anyone get hurt. I’ll find a way. I will find a way. Leave it with me.”

  He turns to stride out the door, and I call his name. He stops, turning to stare at me, his brown eyes locked on mine, “I love you, honey,” I mouth to him.

  He looks hurt, and confused, and angry, but when I say those words, his eyes soften. “Love you too, baby,” he murmurs, then disappears out the door.

  I have no idea in that very moment.

  That it’s the last time he’ll ever say those words to me again.

  No idea.

  Whatsoever.

  19

  NOW – MELANIE

  I STOP AT THE FRONT steps to Finn’s place, straightening my dress. It feels weird, I’m not going to lie, getting all dressed up and going on a date. I’m assured over and over by Aria that I’ll be fine, the man I’m going on a date with will be fine, and we’ll probably just talk and exchange a few conversations, then it’ll be over and I’ll have taken a huge step to bettering myself.

  I hope she’s right.

  I ended up joining a dating app for locals in my area, which is where I, with the help of Lee and Aria, found this guy. Aria ended up staying a few extra nights, which I’m super happy about, because I’m going to need someone to bounce off with this one. The guy seems nice, friendly even, and he’s more than willing to take me out, so, I guess that’s all there is to it.

  Who knew it was so easy these days?

  Makes me wonder how many other women he’s taken out this week, though. How many others he’s texting and calling. Back before apps, when you met someone by chance, you were highly likely to be the only one they were chasing. Now, there are just way too many options. It’s scary, really. Utterly terrifying.

  I open the door and step into the house, walking through the living room. Aria said she’d be here, so I’m assuming she is.

  I round the corner of the kitchen but stop when I see Aria and Brody on the back porch, talking. Well, I wouldn’t call it talking. She’s crying and her arms are flailing around as she speaks to him, and he’s standing there, arms crossed, just listening. Typical Brody not to say much. I move in a little closer, not sure if I should interrupt right now. She needed to get this off her chest, so I don’t want to ruin that for her.

  “I was your best friend, Broderick! Your best friend. You dropped me like I never meant a single thing to you. How the hell do you think that made me feel?”

  “Wasn’t like that,” Brody murmurs.

  “Wasn’t it?” she cries, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You ran, leaving us all with nothing, and it killed. It still does kill. Mostly because now I’m here, you still can’t fucking look at me. Why is that, Brody? Why are you not man enough to even look me in the eye. The very least you could do, is own it!”

  Oh, shit.

  That’ll not go down well.

  “Because,” Brody growls, his voice deepening with anger, “because I’m not here to make anyone else feel better. I’m here for Mick, to finish something for him, because he fuckin’ deserves that much.”

  “What a load of crap! You could have still done those things and explained why you were doing them!”

  “Because that went down so well last time,” Brody roars, and I flinch.

  That’s the most emotion I’ve seen come out of him ... since before Mick.

  “Don’t,” Aria whispers. “Don’t you yell at me. You made your choices. You, no one else. We supported you. We tried to help you. Instead, you disappeared, breaking hearts and ruining lives. The very least you can do, is give me the respect of having a conversation with me now I’m here. Instead of acting like I’m nothing but shit on your shoe.”

  Brody runs his hands over the top of his head, the muscles in his arms flexing. He’s gotten bigger, he’s been working out heavily, no doubt about it.

  “Fuck, Aria. You’re not shit. But I’m fuckin’ ... I’m ...”

  His head drops, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.

  Aria exhales and steps forward, placing her hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at her. “I know you’re dealing with a lot, but we’re your family, Brody. We love you. Don’t push us away, because then you’ll really have nothing left.”

  “Have nothing left anyway,” he murmurs, “But that’s exactly the way it should be, for everyone’s sakes.”

  “You’re wrong,” she tells him. “So wrong. You have us all. We’re here, aren’t we? You didn’t honestly think we’d all give up that easily, did you?”

  He exhales, and then murmurs, “Did miss you, kid.”

  My heart is going to break.

  Into a thousand tiny pieces.

  He missed her?

  He’s telling her he missed her?

  But when he sees me, he acts like I’m a piece of trash he can’t seem to get rid of?

  I feel like I’m going to fall to the floor, especially when he steps forward and pulls her into his arms. He hangs onto her, and she hugs him back, and my whole world feels like it’s going to crumble around me.

  I’m not jealous, no.

  I’m hurt. So damned hurt.

  Because he must really despise me, if that’s the way he’s treating others. Because it certainly isn’t the way he’s treating me.

  Aria lets go and turns, catching sight of me in the kitchen, watching them, angry tears rolling down my face. Her expression changes, just as Brody turns and sees me too. His eyes lock onto mine, and I lose my shit.

  They don’t need to come
in, the door is open, they can hear every word I say.

  “I can’t believe you,” I yell angrily to Brody. “I can’t believe you’ll listen to Aria, that you’ll be understanding of what she’s been through, but you won’t give me the time of day. How dare you? What did I ever do to you to deserve this shit? What, Brody? You don’t have to want me back, do you hear me? But you don’t have to treat me like I am worth fucking nothing either.”

  I’m screaming now, my voice a high, broken pitch.

  I don’t care.

  “I’m done with you. You want me out of your life? Fine. Go ahead and ruin everything for one person who never fucking appreciated you. Give it all up, Brody. You’re going to anyway. But I deserve more. So much more.”

  “Honey,” Aria calls as I turn to leave.

  I stop and look back at them.

  “I’m going on a date. I’m going to let a man treat me exactly how I deserve to be treated.”

  Then I disappear out the door.

  Screw Brody.

  I can’t take another moment of this.

  Not another moment.

  “SO, WHAT DO YOU DO for a living, Melanie?” My date, Archie, asks, beer firmly gripped in his hands.

  He’s a nice guy, at least, that’s the impression I’ve gotten so far from what I’ve actually listened to. I was half an hour late for our date, so hats off to him for sticking around and being patient. He didn’t have to be. I explained I couldn’t find a ride, which is a big fat lie. I just had to calm down and look like I hadn’t been crying. I had to touch up my makeup and sit in the car, calming myself, telling myself I had to do this, even if I didn’t want to.

  I had to.

  It doesn’t feel entirely right, if I’m being honest.

  It feels forced.

  But, after seeing Brody open up to Aria earlier, I know this is the right thing to do.

  What he did ... giving her something I’ve been seeking for so many months, it absolutely crushed me.

  Broke me into a thousand tiny pieces.

  “I’m in between jobs right now,” I tell Archie, finally answering his question.