by Bella Jewel
I can’t sleep.
Can’t eat.
Can’t fuckin’ breathe anymore.
I want to be free of this. I need to be free of this.
I need Melanie back in my life. I need things to go back to the way they were.
If that’s even possible.
But first I have to do this. I have to do it for Mick. I have to do it for Ashley. I just have to fuckin’ do it.
Right?
“Thanks,” I murmur, wiping the sweat from my brow with my shirt and taking a deep breath.
“You good, brother?” Lincoln asks, studying me.
“Could lose my life tomorrow, so no, not really.”
“You’re ready for this, Brody. You’re the best fighter I’ve seen come through these doors. We’re there with you every step of the way. You feel me?”
“Yeah, I feel you.”
“Go and spend your last night with that woman, because if I can tell you somethin’, it’s that those kinds of women only come around once in your life. Get through this, and then make it up to her. Make it up to her every day for the rest of your lives, because she’s a fuckin’ warrior.”
Fuck me.
Why does he have to do that?
Have to make me feel like that?
I know what I’ve put Melanie through.
I know she deserves better than me.
I know all of this, and yet I still had to do it.
There’s no turning back now.
“Yeah, I’m goin’ over there now.”
Lincoln nods, tells me he’ll be around to get me first thing, and then he’s gone. I finish up and get changed, then I take the truck I loaned and drive to Lucy’s house where Melanie is staying. Not sure what I plan on doin’ there, but I know Lincoln is right, she’s a fuckin’ good woman. I owe it to her to at least give her the courtesy of seein’ her before I go.
I walk inside when I arrive, but the only person here is Lucy, who is just about to walk out the door.
“Oh, Brody,” she says when she rounds the corner and sees me. That is, after her body jerks from the shock of finding someone in her house. “Melanie isn’t here, she just went to the store, but she’ll be back in ten if you want to wait. Sorry, I have to run to work.”
“No problem,” I say, walking towards Melanie’s room. “Have a good day at work.”
She tells me goodbye and I walk into Melanie’s room. It’s tidy, of course. Clean as a whistle. Just the way she keeps everything in her life. She’s a good woman like that. She’s tidy and she knows how to keep a house the way it should be kept. Adore that about her. Adore a fuckin’ lot of things about her, really.
I walk over to her bed and sit on it, exhaling.
My mind is working a million miles an hour.
My heart is fuckin’ numb.
My body hurts.
I don’t want to fuckin’ do this, and yet I do.
I’ve never been so fuckin’ confused in my life.
I pull a piece of gum out of my pocket and unwrap it, throwing it into my mouth. I stand and take the wrapper over to the little trash can by the door, and throw it in.
I’m about to turn away when I notice a packet in the can. I narrow my eyes and lean down, picking it up. It’s a pregnancy test box, and it has been opened. My heart lurches into my throat as I pull it open and shove my hand inside, pulling out the stick that has been jammed back into the box. I flip it over and the first thing I see is a big plus symbol.
Heart racing, my eyes scan over the box as I scour it to see what it means.
When I find it, my whole world comes to a screeching halt.
Melanie is pregnant?
Since fuckin’ when?
My hands shake, and I look up just as Melanie rounds the corner into her room. She sees me, she sees the test, and I know before she confirms it, that it’s hers.
She’s pregnant.
“Brody,” she says, her voice trembling. “Ah, what are you doing?”
“What am I doin’?” I ask, my voice shaking, too. “What is this?”
“Sit down and we can-”
“Are you pregnant, Melanie?”
She exhales, and then says in a soft voice, “Yes.”
“Since when?” I growl, tossing the box back into the trash can.
“I only found out a few days ago. I didn’t want to tell you...because of the fight.”
“Fuck me,” I hoarsely rasp, spinning around and throwing my hands onto my head. “This isn’t happening. Why is this happening?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m really sorry, Brody. I didn’t plan it.”
“I thought you were protected?” I shout, spinning back to face her. “Do you have any idea what the fuck this is goin’ to do to me?”
“I didn’t plan it!”
“Didn’t you?” I roar.
Her face falls in pure shock. She looks so hurt, so damned hurt, and I regret my words immediately.
“How dare you,” she yells, “how fucking dare you! I’m not so cruel as to purposefully bring a child into this world with a man who is about to sign his life away. If you didn’t think of me when you were doing that, why the fuck would you think of a child? I’m not a monster, Brody. How dare you.”
“What do you want me to think?” I say, through gritted teeth. “I’m fighting tomorrow, only to find out you’re pregnant.”
“Yes, I’m pregnant. That isn’t going to change a damned thing for you, which is why I didn’t tell you.”
“Fuck!” I bellow. “Fuck this can’t be happening right now. It can’t be.”
I storm towards the door.
I can’t think.
I can’t breathe.
I don’t know what to do fuckin’ do.
I need to get out of here.
A baby.
She’s having my baby.
I’m about to go into a death match.
Fuck.
No.
“Brody!” Melanie calls as I charge out the door. “Brody, please stop!”
I can’t stop.
I can’t do this.
Fuck.
What the hell am I going to do?
How the hell am I going to do this now?
God dammit.
Fuck.
No.
30
NOW – MELANIE
“IT’LL ALL BE OKAY,” Slater says as we roll into the outdoor location where the fight is going to take place.
It’s late afternoon, the sun just starting to lower itself into the clouds.
Nobody has seen Brody since he left my place yesterday. He disappeared, and nobody has any idea what’s going on. We have to assume that he’s going to be here, but we could be wrong. I’ve been sick with worry. I’ve called. I’ve text. I don’t know where he is. But I do know his head is not going to be in the game, and I’m terrified. How long does he need before Sniper gets shot?
What if he can’t do it?
What...what if he dies before he gets the chance?
“Do you think he’s going to be here?” I ask Slater.
“Don’t know. Lincoln will sort that out. We’ve found a location for my truck. It’s away from the crowd, up on a slight incline. You’ll be able to see the fight. Brody cannot know you’re here. It’s already risky enough now he knows you’re pregnant. If he finds out you’re here, he’ll lose his shit.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, rubbing my stomach which feels incredibly unwell. “I know.”
“One of us will be at the truck at all times anyway, being that a lot of fuckin’ break ins happen during these fights. But during the fight, you might end up alone if we’re needed down there. Keep the truck locked. Keep the gun with you. Stay unseen.”
“Okay,” I say, staring out the window.
There are already at least fifty cars here, all lined up amongst the trees and scrub. The big ring is sort of set in the middle, on a big cleared area in the field. It’s a makeshift ring, made out of barbed wire. It’s bru
tal. It screams death. It’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen. I feel sick just staring at it. Until this very moment, I thought I’d be okay seeing this, but now I’m wondering if I have any idea what I’m in for.
I know this is going to be horrible.
I know that whatever happens, it’s going to stay with me forever.
I know that I have to be here, for Brody, if he shows up.
I know that so many things could go wrong.
I know all of this, and yet I don’t know that I feel okay with it. I’m scared. I’m scared of the people around, the fact that this many of them are interested in a death match. I’m so scared of so many things.
Mostly, I’m scared that I’m going to see someone die tonight.
The question is...who?
I CLING TO THE STEERING wheel, staring over it in horrified fear as I watch Brody and Sniper step into the ring. I can’t breathe. I can’t feel. I can’t think. I can only stare. My knuckles are white from gripping the wheel so tightly, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it. I’ve lost all feeling in my fingers, but I can’t let go. I need to hang onto something. Aria, Lucy and Erin have all called numerous times.
They’re all terrified.
Brody showed up an hour ago with Lincoln, and I watched as the two of them prepped outside of the ring. Then, I watched as car after car filled the large space. People started swarming the ring, cheering and yelling, waving money. They’re savages. Total fucking savages. They don’t care. They’re hungry for blood. Hungrier for it than they are for money. It’s terrifying. Utterly terrifying.
Finn and Slater have been swapping with me, coming up and down, checking on me, but eventually Damon showed up and agreed to sit in the truck with me. I know this is a big deal, because I know how he feels about these fights. He can’t stand them. He can’t stand anything to do with all of this. But he told me he felt sorry for me and knew that if I was strong enough to sit here through it, then he could, too. He could be here for me.
I wanted to hug him.
But I didn’t.
When Finn and Slater disappeared down to the ring, I had so many questions. Is everything still going ahead? Is Sniper going to be taken out? How long until they shoot him? Is Brody okay? Is he focused? Is he going to get through the time between the beginning of the fight and when Sniper is shot?
Someone comes out into the middle of the ring, and everyone stops cheering for a second. I can’t hear what they’re saying from here, so I desperately look at Damon.
“They’ll be telling them the rules, which, basically, is that there are none. It’s a free for all. No rules. No conditions. Whoever dies first is the loser. The winner takes all. They’ve got two rounds, if they make it that far. A small break in between.”
Oh.
God.
Like it’s some sort of theatre and we’re all about to watch Swan-freaking-Lake!
“They’re going to start, Melanie,” Damon warns me. “You don’t have to watch. I can tell you what’s happening.”
I shake my head, focusing back on the ring where Brody and another man are walking in. That’s Sniper? That tall, bulky, heavily tattooed man. He’s bald. He’s scary looking. He’s mean. I take a shaky breath, even though I actually think I might vomit. My hands shake as I clench the wheel tighter. Sweat breaks out over my forehead and soon, it’ll trickle down my skin in nervous droplets.
I’m terrified.
My eyes zone in on Brody, and even though I know he’s got a lot on his mind right now, he’s focused. His eyes are zeroed in on Sniper, his fists are clenched and bound, and he’s wearing nothing but a pair of loose-fitting shorts.
A thought flitters into my mind, a thought I hadn’t considered until right now.
A thought that makes me sick to my stomach.
I didn’t get to say goodbye. Brody came over to spend one more evening with me, then found the pregnancy test and freaked out. I haven’t heard from him since. A sudden panic grips my chest as the two men step closer to one another, and I turn to Damon with a gasp and cry, “I didn’t get to say goodbye to him.”
A desperation I have never felt comes over my body.
I want to run out of this car.
I want to scream that I love him, that I’m sorry, that I want him to stop.
Emotions unlike anything I’ve ever felt consume me, and I start trembling.
“Damon, I never said goodbye to him.”
“Melanie, you need to calm down,” Damon says to me, grabbing my hands from the wheel.
Well, peeling my fingers from it.
He forces me to look at him, and when my eyes are locked on his, he says, “He knows you love him. Everyone who has ever met either of you, knows that you love him. There is nothing you can say now, that you haven’t already said. You need to stay calm. If you don’t stay calm, you’ll cause a problem. Right now, Brody needs full concentration. Can you do this, or do you need me to get you out of here?”
“What if they don’t get Sniper in time...”
“Melanie,” Damon says, his voice firm. “You can go over these things a million times in your head, or you can understand that nothing you can do is going to change whatever is about to happen out there. You need to get it together. Can you stay, or not?”
I look into his eyes, and I know he’s right.
I need to get it together. If I don’t, I’ll lose my shit and that won’t help anyone.
“I can stay.”
I turn back towards the front of the car, take a deep breath even though it burns my lungs, and look back out to the ring.
The crowd has started up again, I can hear their roar even from here. People are cheering and screaming and when I hear the sound of a horn go off, I know it’s time. The two men move quickly, no hesitation, no dancing around each other. Brody’s body slams into Sniper’s and he takes him down immediately, his heavy weight knocking the feet right out from beneath the other man.
They hit the ground, a cloud of dust rising up as they start to fight. Fists fly, hitting each other in the face, the body, anywhere they can connect. The angry color of blood quickly fills their faces, and my stomach twists as I watch them roll, beating into each other with a force I’ve never seen in my life. Not in reality or television. It’s horrific.
I know that if I were closer, the sounds of bones crunching would be all I could hear.
They’re in it for the kill.
Sniper raises a leg and launches it out, hitting Brody so hard in the face that his head twists on an angle that has me screaming, “Damon! He’s going to kill him.”
“It’s okay. Melanie, calm down.”
Sniper kicks Brody again and again, blood spurting from his nose, mouth and other various wounds on his face. Sniper is kicking with such a force, it makes me want to vomit. It’s the most graphic thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life. Brody manages somehow to gather himself, and roll out of the way, turning the tables on Sniper.
He gets hold of him and shoves his body into the fence.
Sniper’s body opens up like his skin is made of nothing more than butter.
That fence is dangerous. It’s lethal. It’s smart, if you use it right.
Brody is using it right.
Taking hold of Sniper’s head, he slams his face into the fence over and over.
I’m going to be sick.
I can’t watch anymore.
This is horrible. More horrible then I could have ever imagined.
I don’t understand why Sniper hasn’t been shot yet.
Sniper launches off the fence with a rage that can be seen all over his bleeding face. The open gashes on his skin only make him look even more terrifying as he slams his body into Brody’s, knocking them both to the ground again. Then he hits him, over and over, his fist smashing into Brody’s face as he loses control.
Brody doesn’t do anything.
He reaches up and tries to curl his hands around Sniper’s throat.
“He’s going to kill
him!” I scream.
“Calm down,” Damon says, his voice tight.
“How come he hasn’t been shot yet? He’s going to kill him, Damon. Sniper is going to kill Brody!”
Over and over Sniper hits Brody, and Brody does nothing. He just keeps trying to secure his hands around his neck. He gets them around, but it is doing nothing to stop Sniper. Something is wrong. Brody is weak. He’s stuck. He’s going to die there if nobody does something soon.
“He’s going to kill him!”
Tears burst forth and roll down my cheeks as I turn, fumbling for the door.
“No,” Damon yells, grabbing me around the waist.
“Let me go! Let me go! He’s going to kill him, Damon. He’s going to kill him. Let me go!”
“Melanie, no,” Damon roars.
“Let me go,” I scream, kicking at the door, fighting with everything I can.
The sound of a gunshot echoes through the air, stopping my squirming. I have never moved so fast in my life. I push away from Damon and look down to see Sniper’s body as it slowly falls on top of Brody’s. I can’t see any wounds, but I know that gunshot was for him. He falls on top him lifelessly, and I burst out crying, wanting to scream and yell.
I watch in horrified fascination as two men run into the ring, pulling Sniper off Brody, who isn’t moving either. He’s on the ground, his body still.
Oh.
No.
Did he get shot? Or did Sniper do him in before his life was taken?
“Damon,” I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks. “He’s not moving.”
We both stare and watch as Lincoln and Finn rush into the ring, dropping to their knees beside Brody’s body. Someone drags Sniper off, and people are screaming and roaring, some are even rushing out, frantically looking around, no doubt terrified as to where that bullet came from. It’s chaos. Pure chaos.
Lincoln lifts Brody up, and he and Finn drag his slumping body out of the ring. Nobody stops them. There are people gathered around Sniper, seemingly oblivious to Brody. Maybe they’re right, maybe they won’t suspect him.
Damon barks, “Get in the back, I’m goin’ to get this truck down there.”
I move into the back seat and Damon gets into the front, starting the truck up and hitting the accelerator to get down to Lincoln and Finn as quickly as he can.