by KJ Harlow
“I am here because I’m looking for answers. I started playing ValorVale, oh I don’t know, it feels like several months ago now. The last time I played, I got stuck. I couldn’t exit the game. I find another player, a soldier with an eryn sidekick and he says that he’s fighting for a King Fetter. I thought that if there were any clues as to why I’m stuck in the game, the king would know.”
“You interfered with King Fetter’s execution of Mayor Javal three moonshifts ago. Don’t you think that would jeopardise your chances of seeking an audience with him?”
“I didn’t know he was going to be there!” Cal exclaimed. “I was doing a mission and meant to find Javal. How was I meant to know that Fetter would have beef with him?” C was silent. Cal looked down at his hand and continued nursing it. “Why are you so interested in me, anyway? If it’s because I’m a glitch in the system and you’re an admin, then do both of us a favour and kick me out of the game.”
There was a disturbance in the cave. Cal looked at C. She had put her hands together in her sleeves and started an incantation. The flames flickered, plunging the cave into momentary darkness. Seconds later, her hands dropped to their sides. Cal’s Settings screen popped up without him opening it up.
The “Exit” button was not greyed out anymore.
Cal stared at it disbelievingly. “You…”
He brought his cursor over the button and clicked.
Are you sure you want to exit?
Yes | No
With her hands behind her back, C started walking around Cal.
“You started playing ValorVale because you wanted to escape your disease and your life. You wanted to walk again. While you were playing, the Battle of Urath event started. You couldn’t participate in it but you got stuck in the game along with everyone else. With nothing else better to do, you continued playing.
“You kept an eye on the ‘Exit’ button but over time, you stopped checking it altogether. You had to keep reminding yourself that you were in a game but deep down, you knew that you were getting more and more immersed in ValorVale and that you didn’t want to leave.” She stopped in front of Cal. A mix of pity and kindness swirled in her grey eyes. “It finally allowed you to be who you wanted to be.”
Who did she think she was, Sherlock? Her voice had melded with the roaring firefall outside the cave. All he had eyes for was the ‘Yes | No’ statement in front of him.
Everyone he had met along the way: Keizen, Gram, Kai, Javal, even the ‘bad guys’, Hector, Laish, Crusk and Fetter… these people had been his life for more than six moons. It had felt so long ago since he started, but how long had it been really? He had been lying in a hospital bed all this time. Erika was probably worried sick. Aristotle was probably doing God knows what to his body to try and give him a few more pathetic years of life.
None of it was real… most of the people I spoke to are just lines of code. Those who aren’t are just living a lie like me, trying to escape their own tired reality. Hector might be flipping burgers, Fetter an office drone like I am, living out a crazy power fantasy.
Yet…
Cal wriggled his toes in his Featherfoot boots.
I am not just walking in Terrafaytum, I am running, jumping and swimming as well. Mom sacrificed herself for me so that I could live a better life than she did. If she saw my ‘actual’ life on Earth, she would be so disappointed. If she saw me taking my chances and living like I am today, she would be happy… right? It doesn’t matter that this life isn’t ‘real’…
Cal closed his eyes. Only because C knew some of what he was thinking, doesn’t mean that he wanted her to see everything. The voices inside his head quietened. Another one, not his own, reached out from the recesses of his mind:
I wish that you would be honest with yourself.
Douchette…
“I will only keep the ‘Exit’ button in this state until the end of the current moonshift. If you choose to exit ValorVale, your IdentiChip is going to be blacklisted and you will never be allowed to play ever again. If you don’t exit now, I cannot promise that you will ever be able to leave Terrafaytum. Maybe one moonshift you will awaken and find your soul stuck between worlds. If you do nothing, you will stay in ValorVale by default.” Cal shoved C’s warning to the back of his mind. He turned back towards the cascading fire. There was an imaginary conversation that he needed to have with someone back home.
“I am being honest with myself.” Cal sat up in his bed, stretching his arms until he heard a satisfying click in his shoulders.
She was passing the ValorVale headset box between her hands, glancing up at Cal from time to time. “How are you being honest to yourself?”
“Well,” Cal said, looking out the window, “I honestly love playing ValorVale. It’s the most fun I’ve ever had. You should really try it.”
Erika made a face. “Meh.”
“When I first realized that I was stuck in the game, I freaked out. I was killed, then I was attacked by giant wasps, then I almost drowned in a flood–”
Erika held her hand up. “OK, I get it.”
“The idea of being trapped in a game forever was nuts, but the longer I lived in Terrafaytum, the more used to the idea I got.”
“Soooo… you did stop checking the ‘Exit’ button eventually, didn’t you?”
Cal hesitated. “I checked it less. Things just started getting too hectic here. I’m about to fight in a tournament and–”
“What is the biggest reason that makes you want to come back home?” Erika draped her arms on top of the headset box and rocked her chin back and forth on it, keeping her eyes on Cal.
“I…” Damn it. He couldn’t lie about this. Eyre could see through his lies, she always could. She stopped rocking her head and stared intently at him.
He swallowed, throat dry. “You. You’re the biggest reason for me to come back home.”
Cal waited for the inevitable triumphant head tilt; it never came.
“But I want to stay here, Eyre. This is my life now. Besides you, there’s nothing waiting for me back home. Did Doctor Tran tell you that I only have 18 months to live?”
She shook her head, averting her face.
“Don’t be like that. I never said that I wasn’t coming back. Once I’m done, ‘I’ll be back’.” Cal couldn’t resist pulling out the Terminator impersonation.
Erika laughed, a tear trickling down the right side of her face. For some reason, it shone silver and bright, like the waters of Terrafaytum.
“You’re such a douche, you know?”
“I mean it, Eyre. I’ll be back. I don’t know how long I’ll be and I don’t know how, but I promise you that I’ll come back.”
Cal closed the door to the manor behind him as quietly as possible. He walked past the area where they had all sat earlier with Var and the Gresshian werejaguars, the dining area where he had eaten a tiny amount of the steelmare steak and then into the hall that led to the guest chambers.
He stood outside Kai’s door, fist hovering over it. In the end he dropped it. No point depriving the chiefling of his beauty sleep. He considered going back out to the kitchen and looking for Tash. He knew it was probably her damn charmed spell talking, but right then, he wanted nothing more than to hold her close and tell her how much he loved her.
Deciding against it, he went back into his own room. The floorboards creaked as he stepped towards the window. He pulled open the curtains. Karst was still mostly there, the bottom of it just dipping beneath the horizon.
He looked down at his hand and turned it around. It still stung where the fire fall had burnt it. Looking beyond it, he noticed light-greyish parchment held flat by four stones in each corner. In the top right was an ink pen. Cal pulled the chair out from underneath the desk and sat. He took the pen, dabbed off the excess ink and held it over the parchment. Then he wrote:
‘A hero isn’t someone who knows what he’s doing; just that he’s doing the right thing.’
The sentence sat at the to
p of the parchment, unaccompanied by any other lines underneath.
Accepting that was all the muse had to say, he put the pen back into the ink well, stumbled back across to his bed and immediately fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
18
Wind & Fire
20,156th Cycle
3-Karst
I respect your choice. I hope you have the strength to stand by the rest of the decisions you'll be making in ValorVale. Good luck at the tournament.
“Orc.”
“Mm?” Kai slapped the back of Cal’s head. “Ow! What was that for?”
“Just checking for creeperslugs.” Kai went into the kitchen, greeted the succubi serving up firstmeal and grabbed a plate for himself. “Where’s Grand Uncle?”
“I haven’t seen him yet.” Cal’s eyes had a glassy appearance as he leaned on the table, reading C’s parting message over and over. Unlike the others, this one didn’t delete itself. It was almost as if she wanted to leave him a reminder of her.
After Cal had told her that he was going to be staying in ValorVale, she almost looked excited, as if that was the response she was hoping for. If she was an admin or debugger, she had a weird way of going about her business. Why give a player to choice to stay trapped in the game or leave it? Why go to all of the trouble of playing the game, finding the character in question and then applying a deadline to the ability to exit?
She had disappeared just like the time she had warped away with Fetter, blinking out of existence in front of Cal. Thankfully, she had turned the firefall outside the cave back into a waterfall. That could have made it an unnecessarily pleasant experience to get back home.
“When did you get back last moonshift anyway?” Kai said, gulping down the massive drumstick in front of him at record speed.
“I don’t know. Late.”
“Where did you go?”
Enough with the questions. “How was the new lance?” Cal said, sitting up and laying his hands on the table. Kai stared at him for a moment, then started talking about how he found some wild steelmare stallions outside town, chased them down and landed a critical hit with his first shot.
“It was… it was…”
“Awesome?”
Kai blinked and looked at Cal. “Yes.”
“New moonshift to you, boys.”
“New moonshift, Javal.”
“New moonshift, Grand Uncle.”
The large, blue Werejaguar stomped through the dining area, the floorboards protesting under his weight.
“I trust that Brendan treated you well?” His voice boomed out from the kitchen, followed by giggling from the maids.
“He… did,” Cal said. That was Tash’s laugh. A rush of blood went to his head. “He gave us competitive discounts, thanks to you.”
“Excellent!” Javal said, sweeping back into the dining area. He took his seat at the head of the table, his breakfast triple Cal’s portion.
Kai eyed his uncle then exchanged a look with Cal.
“Your wound has healed well, Grand Uncle.”
“Of course, cub. Can’t keep a man like me down! Isn’t that right Kat?” He reached an arm out to try and grab the succubus’ waist. She swerved away, letting him just graze her hip while she stuck her tongue out at him. “You boys are still going to participate in the tournament, right? It seems a long way away now, but blink and the night will be upon us.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Cal said. Javal raised an eyebrow, a chunk of meat half way to his mouth.
“Will you be at the tournament as well?” Kai said quickly, throwing a glance at Cal. “Surely you should take some safety precautions, considering the last attempt on your life.”
“Worry not about me, Kai. Didn’t I say that I would be ready the next time that urchin strikes? Your grand uncle still has some fight in him left!” He slapped a greasy hand onto Kai’s shoulder. “You’re going to be meeting with the leader of the brigade right after this. His name’s Marc. A competent leader of men if ever I saw one.” Javal ripped the meat apart with his hand, a piece landing inches away from Cal’s plate.
Cal stood up, pushing the chair out from underneath him. “I’m going to get ready first,” he said. He looked across at Kai. “Meet me outside the manor when you’re ready.”
“Are you going to let him get ahead of you, Kai? Hurry up! Finish your meal!” Javal urged.
The door to Cal’s room was slightly ajar. He pushed it open. Cal always had a habit of making his bed, even when he was back on Earth. Someone had done it again, making it even more comfortable-looking than before.
Tash was standing at the desk by the window, the duster in her hand. She turned around, scarlet eyes wide in surprise. “New moonshift, Master Cal. Finished with firstmeal already?”
He walked in and closed the door. “Yes, I’m about to get ready to go out. I’m meeting with the Brigade leader today.”
“Oh Marc? He’s good. Rough and gentle at the same time.” Cal paused in the middle of putting on his left Featherfoot boot. Something told him that she didn’t mean that in the context of a battle.
“Tash?”
“Yes Master?”
“Do Succubi get married?”
She turned around and leaned back on the table, mirth written all over her face. “If succubi don’t date and don’t get into relationships, what makes you think that they would get married?”
Cal blushed, looking at his boots. “Forget that I asked.”
“Was that a marriage proposal, Master Callahan?” She walked across the room and knelt down in front of him. Her cool, silky hands were like pebbles in his large, rough ones.
“No.” Cal said, shaking his head. God, I’m so out of my depth.
She withdrew her hands and folded them into her lap. “That isn’t to say that Succubi haven’t gotten married before.” She got up and walked back to the desk. “We are a pleasure-seeking race first and foremost. We know what love is, but rarely are we prepared to sacrifice pleasure with many for the love of one.”
Cal continued putting his other boot on. “What about if you find one person who could give you the pleasure of many and love?”
She laughed her tinkling laugh. “Then I guess I would marry them. Though I don’t know how they would package the pleasure of many into one person.” She continued dusting while Cal equipped his weapons and slung the satchel around his shoulder.
She turned to Cal. “Did you write this?” Her red hair fell in a loose ponytail onto her left shoulder as she leaned on the table.
“Umm yeah, about that…”
“That’s beautiful.”
“Oh. Thank you.”
Tash nodded. “I’m not much of a writer myself, but when I hear words that come from the heart, I know it immediately.”
She put the duster on the desk and walked over to Cal. She opened her arms and embraced him, pressing herself into his body. Cal hesitated, then draped his right arm around her, resting his chin on her head. He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent.
“Thank you for staying in Bracewell a bit longer.”
He gently pulled away from her. “If I didn’t know better, this is a sign of affection.”
Tash shook her head. “Wrong, Master Cal. It’s gratitude.”
“Hello, over here.”
A man with a squarish head, brown, short hair and a severe expression which made it always seem like he was worrying about something waved at Cal and Kai. They walked over to him and he extended his right hand towards them.
“Hyten lights your way. You must be Callahan and Kai.”
“Yes,” Cal said, taking the man’s forearm and grasping it. He was a few inches shorter than he was, but still slightly taller than Kai. “Thank you for taking the time to meet up with us. I’m sure you’re busy, what with the tournament and all.”
Marc crossed his muscular arms and smiled a tight smile. “No problem at all. Anyone that Javal trusts has time in my books. Thank you also for rescuing him. He
tells me not to blame myself, but I can’t. I could sense the new king was planning something sinister when he came into Bracewell. Little did I know how sinister it was.”
“Mayor Javal is right, don’t blame yourself,” Kai said. “Cal and I can provide support as necessary to protect him. That’s really why we’re staying in Bracewell. He can be stubborn.”
Marc laughed, his tight chest straining through his vest. “Don’t I know it. I’m grateful for the support, but hopefully we won’t need it.”
“Will you be participating in the tournament as well?” Cal asked.
His face reverted back to the severe expression. “Yes. Like you, I want to be as close to Javal as possible. If my men and I aren’t personally protecting him, we’ll be in the arena, which also is close to where he’s sitting.”
“There’s a possibility that we may meet in the ring then,” Kai said, standing up taller.
“Yes, there is. I will not go easy on you; I expect you to do the same.”
Cal, Kai and Marc walked outside Bracewell through the eastern thoroughfare. Townsfolk nodded, greeted and waved to the three men as they exited the city. They walked out into the field to an area that was devoid of grass. It looked like it had been treated such that no vegetation would grow and it would stay dusty and dry. Another man like Marc, but slightly taller and without the severe expression waited there.
“Anton. This is Cal and Kai, the men that rescued Javal.” Like Brendan, Anton seemed wary of the Cal initially until Marc mentioned that he had saved Javal. “Karst imbues you.” He nodded at the two.
“That’s a werejaguar greeting,” Kai said.
“Only because most werejaguars are wielders of Flame Craft. I,” Anton said, pointing his thumb into his chest, “also have an affinity for the element of fire.”
“And I have one for wind,” Marc said. “Antony is my deputy. We often work together and support each other in battles.”