“We aren’t following you. We’re following Aria.” Sade snapped, shooting down his statement.
Iri spoke up, his voice hard. “And Beru.”
His comment stunned me. He appeared to be angry about not knowing as well. He’d held it in so well, so I’d had no indication he was upset until just now.
“And I thank you for that. Couldn’t do this without any of you. I know it’s a lot to ask, and I don’t ask it lightly.” His gaze never wavered from us. “I’ve also not been myself, so seeing past that and still coming along means a lot to me.”
“Why can’t you remember? Who told you to go south? The entire situation doesn’t make sense to me.” Astor piled the questions on.
“It’s a feeling I have. I need to go there. I can’t stop thinking I need to go. The closer we get, the more I feel the pull.” Beru pounded his chest.
I shot a warning look at Astor, trying to make him be quiet, but he was in too deep now, and clearly unwilling to stop pressing for answers. “What if it’s something evil? That’s the thing—we have no idea what it is.” He stood and preached to us all. “Doesn’t anyone else think this is all crazy?”
“That’s enough, Astor.” I stood as well. “If you don’t want to come, then don’t. And that goes for anyone else. No one is being forced to go on.”
I left the group and stalked off into the woods, running for a while so no one could follow me. I should be resting for the journey, butinstead, I was fighting with my closest friends to try to defend Beru. And I knew they thought it was because I was falling in love with him.
I wasn’t following him because of that. I didn’t know if the pull had anything to do with the key, but it was all we had. There wasn’t time to think of or make another plan. I lay down in the tall grass. I wanted to cry, but there were no more tears left.
I was pathetic with all the crying I was doing anyway. I chuckled to myself. Why was I so emotional? I closed my eyes and placed my hands on Lynia. I needed her energy and wisdom to get me through. I dug my hands into her soil.
“Am I on the right path?”
I didn’t expect her to answer and knew without any doubt I’d have to find the answer within myself. Something I wasn’t capable of at that moment. So, listening to the wind blow the tall grass around. I thought back to my childhood. Farming with my family, playing in the fields with my brothers. I wondered if they were okay. I wondered if I would ever have a chance to reconcile if and when this ever was over. I swore I’d come back for them once it was all over and we’d won. Then, I’d make sure nothing hurt them again.
I drifted off into a deep sleep.
The sun woke me the next morning. As soon as I realized where I was, I jumped up and made my way back to the camp, a pit of anxiety in my stomach. They’d be worried about me being gone for so long. I picked up my pace, and began to run as fast as I could.
I made it back to the campfire, but no one was there. I went over to where our beds were prepared and again, no one was there. Had they left without me? Nothing had been packed up though, and all of our belongings were there as if they’d all vanished.
“They’ve gone out to look for you.” Astor peeked out from behind the tree, startling me.
“And you’ve hidden behind a tree?” I looked at him oddly, my heart rate slowly settling from the run and my sudden panic I’d been left behind.
“You did run in here at an alarming rate. I wasn’t sure if it was you or a wild animal.” Astor came out and sat by the campfire. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I just needed to get away by myself. To think.” I looked around for any trace of breakfast or food that had been left behind.
“I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t think sometimes.” Astor half looked my way, a half-smile of apology on his face.
“You started quite the fight,” I responded, my irritation trying to leap out past my mild response.
“You didn’t see the half of it. It got worse after you left.”
I didn’t want to ask about it. I finally had managed a good night’s sleep, and I wanted to put it all behind us. We should have left already.
“There she is,” Sade called as she exited the woods. She ran toward me and knelt. “We were worried. You’re never gone that long.”
“I know. I fell asleep. I guess I needed it.” I smiled at her.
Iri and Beru came out of the woods as well, looking like they had been up all night searching.
“She’s fine. No thanks to you.” She pointed at Beru.
Iri grunted in acknowledgment. The dynamic between the three of them was different. I certainly had missed a lot while I was away. Beru remained quiet.
Sade baited him further. “You’re the reason all of this is happening.”
Beru looked at the ground, unmoving and unresponsive. She walked over to him and stood an inch away from his face. She was ready to fight. “Say something. Prove it’s not your fault.” Sade pounded her fist on his chest.
Beru looked at her, his eyes closed, and chin up. He wasn’t going to let her get away with physically pushing him in the same way he was allowing her to speak to him. Iri noticed the change in his shoulders, and walked over to them, cracking his knuckles.
“Guys, it’s okay. Aria is back.” Astor jumped up, eyebrows raised and his voice trembling. .
“Astor is right. We have to put this aside and get going. We should already be on the road, which is my fault.”
I moved closer, ready to put myself between Beru and Sade. I’d never seen her so mad before and a pit opened in my stomach at the unflinching hatred in her face.
“It’s not all right. Beru should have left last night,” Sade yelled.
“Why?” I tried to push myself between them but neither budged.
“For wasting our time,” Sade yelled. She clenched her fist and pulled it back as if she was going to take a swing. I jumped on her before she let it go, and we fell to the ground. I struggled to hold her down as she fought to stand up.
“Sade, stop it!” I climbed on top of her and finally managed to control her by straddling her. “What’s wrong with you?” I yelled.
“Let her up.” Iri put his hand my shoulder.
“No. Just stop this. All of you!” I screamed, out of breath from trying to contain Sade and overwhelmed by the way the group was splintering around me. “We won’t fight each other. We can’t!”
I looked around, focusing on each in turn. I wasn’t sure if Iri would rush Beru or not, but he was more intent on getting me to let Sade up right now. Astor stood off to the side, looking nervous and scared of any physical altercation. Sade finally gave up struggling, relaxing under my weight.
“I’m with Aria on this.” Astor held his hand up like we’d decided to take a vote.
“He needs to go.” Sade got her wind back and tried to flip me off. Iri stood back, ready to intervene if it got out of control.
Sade was now trying to wiggle her way out from under me, hooking her leg around my back and spinning me onto my side. “Ha! You can’t beat the mentor.” She got up and made a run for Beru.
Iri stopped her before she got to Beru by wrapping his arms around her as she struggled to get past him. “It’s over,” Iri repeated until she stopped fighting him
“Wait!” Beru stepped forward.
Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him. He closed his eyes, and placed both of his hands on his head. “I remember something.”
I got up from my defeated position and made my way over to him. The others stayed where they were. “What do you mean?”
“I hid something.” He squinted as if he was trying to recall something.
“Where?” I grabbed his elbow.
“In the prison. That’s what’s been calling me.”
“Are you sure?” I grabbed his arms and wanted to hug him. We were one step closer to having him realize he was the key.
“Yes.” Beru had tears in his eyes.
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“Listen up.” I turned from him back to the group. “We need to pull ourselves together. Nobody has to come on this mission. If you want to leave, raise your hand.”
I looked around, but they all avoided eye contact. No one raised their hands either. I had to get us all on the same page. We needed to leave behind all the arguments when we left today.
“Raise your hand if you’re coming.”
Sade raised her hand first, then Astor, and finally Iri. They looked ashamed at how far their argument had gone. A good night’s sleep would do everyone some good, but we didn’t have time for that now.
“This is hard. On all of us. We have to stick together. There can be no more second-guessing. If you’re coming, you’re all in.” I stepped back so I wasn’t in front of Beru anymore. I wanted them to understand he was the reason we were here, not me.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Sade offered her hand to Beru for a truce, and he didn’t hesitate to shake it.
Iri was next.
“I started this all.” Astor stood up and hugged Beru. “Sorry, brother.”
We all took a seat at the campfire once the apologies were said. Sade scrambled a few eggs with what we had left and divided it amongst us.
“What do you think it could be?” I hoped more had come to Beru since his revelation.
“Something I wanted to keep safe from them. But I’m still not sure what.” Beru leaned over, his elbows on his knees.
“What made you remember?” Sade spoke up.
“The fighting, I think. It felt like déjà vu.” Beru rubbed a hand over his face.
“At least it was good for something.” Sade smiled as she tried to make light of the conversation.
“I’m sorry I ever brought it up.” Astor moaned.
“Well, if you hadn’t set off the chain of events, I’m not sure I would have realized why I wanted to head south so badly. At least we have something to go on now.” Beru sat back.
“I’m just happy for food.” Iri took the plate Sade handed him.
“Savor it. This is the last of it.” She passed the other plates around to the group. “If you hid it, it must be something valuable. I wonder if they knew you had it?”
“I don’t think so. Life would have been much harder for me in there if they did. There are only a few places I could have hidden it well enough that it would still be there. If we split up to look for it, that could potentially save us some time.”
“Good plan.” I dug into my food as I wondered what he could have hidden. Was it the key we’d been looking for? Or something else. Something from the war? A weapon?
“How would you have hidden it?” Iri shovelled another bite into his mouth.
“I’m not sure. I keep coming back to thinking I would have buried it. Somewhere in the sand maybe.” He shook his head, and appeared to be trying to recall where he could have hidden something.
I was thankful for the breakthrough. We were one step closer to finding what was calling him. Whatever it was would help us seal the prison and make him remember who he really was. I finished off my plate and placed it in the wash bin.
“It’s time. We leave for the south together as a team.” I held my first up in the air. “Who’s with me?”
One by one they threw their fists into the air. Elation filled me. We were one step closer to fixing the prison and ending the madness that had escaped.
Chapter 21
We opted to get some rest before we left. We were still about a day’s walk away from the prison, and it would be our last chance to get sleep before we got there. It was well needed with the irritableness going around.
I got up earlier than the rest, having slept most of the night. I walked down to the water’s edge and found Beru sitting by himself. I picked my way past the loose rocks and sat down beside him. “I didn’t realize you were up. Shouldn’t you be getting sleep in while you can?”
“I’ve slept enough.” He held up a string of fish. “Besides, I needed to catch my peace offering.”
“I can’t fight that logic.” I smiled, looking out over the water. It was beautiful here, and if I tried I could almost forget what lay ahead.
“Thank you for sticking up for me. I know you were going up against your family.” Beru hugged his knees to his chest.
“I believe in you. You know more about the prison than any of us.”
“I hate that you were brought into this, even though you saved me.”
I smiled at his sentiment. I wasn’t sorry. I wouldn’t have met him otherwise. My life had changed because of him, and I was proud of what I was becoming. I learned to be the fighter I never knew I could be, along with so much else.
“It’s how it’s meant to be.” I leaned over and nudged him teasingly with my elbow.
Beru pulled me closer to him and kissed me. The few seconds before his lips met mine, I questioned if I should stop him or pull away, but my body betrayed me. I leaned in, savoring the feel of his soft, firm lips caressing mine. After one glorious moment, he pulled away.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” Beru brought his hand to my face and stroked the hair, which had fallen over my face away from my eyes. “You’re beautiful, Aria.”
I was stunned. Say something! I silently berated myself. “So are you,” I managed to finally blurt. My face flushed. How could I call a man beautiful? I shook my head as I pulled away from him.
“Not something I would call myself. But I will take that from you.” Beru grabbed my face and pulled me in for another kiss. It was just as sweet as the first and left me twice as breathless. “I’m taking advantage.”
“No, really. You’re not. I wish I were as brave as you.”
“You’re the bravest person I know.” Beru squeezed my hand.
“You might not say that if you knew me better.” I pulled away from him and leaned back, letting the sun hit my face.
“I’m sure I would. Do you think I don’t know you?” Beru appeared intrigued by this new challenge.
“Maybe.” I teased him.
Beru lay on his side next to me. I shifted to my back, and we casually stared at each other. I had never had a significant other, but he had been married. I wondered if he compared us. If, when he kissed me, he was thinking of her.
They hadn’t separated because they hated each other. She was murdered. Did his love die with her? Or was I a different love? I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to love him, as I should. I hadn’t had much luck with men so far.
“What are you thinking?” His hand caressed my arm.
“Nothing. Ramblings.” I laughed uncomfortably. I liked his touch, but I didn’t know how to receive it. I feared I was being awkward when it came to romance.
“I want to hear these ramblings.” Beru leaned in and gently nuzzled my cheek.
Normally, I would have stopped such touches, pulling back because I didn’t feel I deserved them, not because I didn’t crave them. But it may be our last day. I convinced myself it was okay, and let him in like Mother Ofburg suggested. I will not stop this. I will not stop this.
“Come on. Let our worlds collide. What is going on in that pretty little head?” Beru dropped a light kiss on my forehead.
“You ever think past all of this? What you want to do?” I rolled over to face him.
“I guess. Sometimes.”
“Do you see me in your sometimes?” I brushed some sand off his cheek.
“Always.” He grew serious. “You’re always on my mind. No matter what I do.”
He leaned in for another kiss. This time, he started on my forehead and gently kissed his way down to my lips.
My head felt dizzy, so I lay back in the sand. He placed his arm across me and leaned into me.
“Do you think about me?” Beru placed his forehead on mine. The heat from his body warmed any coldness I had inside.
“Always.” I laughed. It was awkward to talk that way. It felt unnatural, yet I wanted to learn how to do it right.
“When this is all over, I want to take you away. I don’t care where we go. I just want to be alone with you for a while.” Beru played with the top button on my shirt.
My face flushed as I thought of what could possibly be going through his mind in that moment.
“Aria! Beru!” Sade called our names from the camp. I pushed Beru away and jumped up quickly, afraid she’d see him on top of me and think we were doing more than we were.
“W … we should go,” I stuttered as I pointed my thumb in her direction.
“You go first.” Beru lay back in the sand. “Take these.” He handed me the fish and winked. “They can be your alibi.”
I smiled, then ran as fast as I could up the hill to the campsite. I prayed Sade hadn’t seen us. I’d know right away if she did because she would have a million questions for me.
“We have fish!” I held them up in front of my reddened face.
“I love you!” Sade clapped her hands in front of her then grabbed the fish from my hands. She ran them past her nose to smell, and she smiled ear to ear. “Help me get them ready for breakfast.”
I nodded and brushed past her to grab the grill to put over the fire.
“Wait. Why is your face so red?” She stood with her hands on her hips, cocking an eyebrow, as she looked me up and down. .
“The sun. Why?” I kept my face turned away, pretending to be too busy lighting the fire to let her get a good look.
“Hmm . . .”
“I got a few more,” Beru called as he joined us. He held up four more fish. “That lake is stocked.”
“Put them here.” Sade slapped the rock she’d used to prepare the other fish. “We’ll all eat like kings at our last supper.”
“Sade, stop acting like we’re going to die today.” I gently nudged her, wanting to stop her morbid joking.
Sade shrugged and chopped off the fish heads with one swing. “It’s fifty-fifty these days.”
I ignored her comment, stoked the fire to get it hot, and placed the grill on top of it. “It’s ready.” My mouth watered as she added the fish.
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