34 And there are verses about this:
The lover who employs in this way
the sixty-four arts of love that Babhravya taught
is successful with the best women.
35 Even if he can talk about other sciences,
if he lacks the sixty-four arts of love
he is not very well respected in conversations
in the assembly of learned men.
36 But if he is adorned with the sixty-four arts of love,
even if he lacks other sorts of knowledge,
he penetrates to the very top place
in conversations in the society of men and women.
37 Wise men delight in it,
even the dregs of society delight in it highly,
and the troupes of courtesans de luxe delight in it;
who does not delight in this Source of Delight?
38 Scholars, in their texts,
say that this Source of Delight
is loved by women and brings
fortune, success, and luck in love.
39 Virgins, other men’s wives,
and courtesans de luxe
look with warm feelings and respect
on the man who is skilled in the sixty-four arts of love.
BOOK THREE · VIRGINS
CHAPTER ONE
[23] Courting the Girl
1 In a woman who is of the same class, who has not been with another man before, and who has been taken in accordance with the texts, a man finds religion, power, sons, connections, the growth of his faction, and straightforward sexual pleasure.* 2Therefore he should cultivate a virgin of noble stock whose mother and father are living and who is at least three years younger than he. She should come of a family that is respectable, wealthy, well connected, and rich in relatives who get along well with one another. Her mother and father should come from powerful factions. She should have beauty, good character, and lucky marks on her body, and her teeth, nails, ears, hair, eyes, and breasts should be neither insufficient nor excessive, and undamaged. She should not be sickly by nature. He himself should have precisely these qualities, and Vedic learning, too. 3Ghotaka-mukha says, ‘A man should regard himself as fulfilled when he has taken such a woman, and his peers cannot fault him for courting her.’
4 His father and mother and relatives help him court her, as do friends who are connected with both sides* and who confirm his words. 5They allude to her other suitors’ faults, both those apparent now and those to come, and reveal the man’s good qualities, both of his family and of his personal manliness, qualities that will increase the parents’ inclination to give him the girl, and especially those qualities, both present and future, that the girl’s mother likes. 6One of these friends dresses up as a fortune-teller and describes the man’s future good luck and prosperity by interpreting the flights of birds, omens, the influence of the planets according to their positions in the zodiac, and the lucky marks on his body.* 7Others drive the girl’s mother crazy with worry that he will get another girl elsewhere, by some special means. 8He courts the girl, and receives her, at a time when fate, omens, bird signs, and overheard conversations are favourable.* 9‘Not just by preference, which is merely human’, says Ghotakamukha.
10 Firmly reject a girl who, at the time of courtship, falls asleep, cries, or goes out, 11and reject any girl who has been given a name that is not recommended, who is kept hidden, who has already been given away, who is tawny,* pimply, stooped, bow-legged, or like a bull, whose forehead bulges, who is promiscuous or pregnant, a friend, a girl who has started menstruating, whose purity has been defiled, who is too close in age, or who sweats profusely.
12 Never court a girl
with a disgusting name
that is a constellation, a river, a tree,
or ends in a syllable beginning with ‘l’ or ‘r’.*
13 Some people say, ‘A man will do well with a woman who catches and binds his mind and heart and his eyes. He should not consider any other woman.’
14 And so, when it is time to give the girl away, her people dress her in her finest and bring her out. Every afternoon, she gets dressed up and amuses herself with her girlfriends, and her people eagerly display her at crowded events such as sacrifices and weddings and at similar festivals, because she is just like any other piece of merchandise. 15They receive with ceremony the men who come there to court her, if those men are nice-looking, well spoken, and accompanied by their relatives. 16And they find some other pretext to show them the girl when she is all dressed up. 17They set a limit to the period in which they will ascertain and test the workings of fate and the gods and then, at the end, they make the decision about giving her away. 18When they are invited to bathe and so forth, those making the choice of bridegroom say, ‘All of that will happen’, but they do not agree to do it on the very day of the invitation.
19 According to the customs of the place and in keeping with the texts, a man should marry by a wedding in the manner of Brahma, of the Lord of Creatures, of the Sages, or of the Gods. Those are the rules of courtship.*
[24] Making Alliances
20 And there are verses about this:
A man should engage in group games such as
completing verses,* and in marriages and alliances,
only with his equals,
not with people above or below him.
21 When the man marries a girl
and lives with her like a servant,
they call this an ‘upward alliance’*
and wise men avoid it.
22 Good people also despise
the worthless ‘downward alliance’,
in which his own in-laws defer to him
and he behaves like a master.
23 The best alliance plays the game
so that both sides taste one another’s happiness
and treat one another
as unique individuals.
24 Even when a man has made an ‘upward alliance’,
he must later bow low among his in-laws;
but he simply must not make a ‘downward alliance’,
which good people despise.
CHAPTER TWO
[25] Winning a Virgin’s Trust
1 For the first three nights after they have been joined together, the couple sleep on the ground, remain sexually continent, and eat food that has no salt or spices. Then, for seven days they bathe ceremonially to the sound of musical instruments, dress well, dine together, attend performances, and pay their respects to their relatives. All of this applies to all the classes. 2During this ten-night period, he begins to entice her with gentle courtesies when they are alone together at night.
3 The followers of Babhravya say, ‘If the girl sees that the man has not made conversation for three nights, like a pillar, she will be discouraged and will despise him, as if he were someone of the third nature.’*4 Vatsyayana says: He begins to entice her and win her trust, but he still remains sexually continent. 5When he entices her he does not force her in any way, 6for women are like flowers, and need to be enticed very tenderly. If they are taken by force by men who have not yet won their trust they become women who hate sex. Therefore he wins her over with gentle persuasion.* 7But to penetrate her defences, he uses any means, even a trick, that enables him to make an advance.
8 He uses an embrace that she likes because it does not last for too long. 9He begins by embracing her upper body, because this is easy to endure. 10He does this by the light of a lamp, if she has reached the prime of her youth and has already became familiar with him, or in the dark, if she is still a child and has no previous experience. 11When the woman has accepted his embrace, he gives her betel with his mouth. If she does not accept it, he gets her to take it through conciliating words, oaths, repeated requests, and falling at her feet. (Even a bashful or very angry woman cannot resist a man falling at her feet; this is a universal rule.) 12While giving her the betel, he kisses her softly, calmly, without a sound.
13 When
she has been won over in this way, he gets her to talk. 14In order to hear her talk, he asks her, as if he did not know it, about something or other that can be expressed in just a few syllables. 15If she does not respond to that, he asks her again, many times, while soothing her, never distressing her. 16If she still says nothing, he should persevere in urging her. 17For, says Ghotakamukha, ‘All girls put up with a man’s words, but they will not utter a word themselves, even in small-talk.’ 18When she is urged, however, she gives her replies by nodding or shaking her head; except that, in a quarrel, she does not even move her head.
19 When he asks her, ‘Do you want me or do you not want me? Do I please you or do I not please you?’ she remains still for a long time, and when he urges her she nods or shakes her head to indicate her inclination; but if he asks her yet again, she argues with him. 20If she is already familiar with him, he may carry on a conversation with her through the mediation of a girlfriend whom both of them trust but who inclines toward him. During this conversation, the girl smiles with her head down, and if the friend says too much, she scolds her and argues with her. The friend, however, may say, just for a joke, ‘This is what she said’, even if she did not say it. The girl sends the friend away because of this, and remains silent even when he asks her to reply. But when he insists, she says, ‘I am not saying anything of the sort’, mumbling with indistinct syllables and unclear meaning. And smiling at the man, she glances at him sideways from time to time. That is how he gets her to talk.
21 And when she has become accustomed to him in this way, without speaking she places near him the betel, scented oil, and garland that he has asked for. Or she ties them up in his upper cloth. 22While she is occupied in doing this, he touches her nipples with the ‘goose-flesh’ scratch.* 23And if she stops him, he says, ‘Embrace me, and then I will not do this’, and so he embraces her. And he moves his hand as far as her navel and back again. And gradually he gets her onto his lap and goes farther and farther. If she does not accept his advances, he threatens her, 24saying, ‘I myself will put the marks of my teeth on your lower lip, and the scratches of my nails on the upper part of your breasts. And I will do the same to myself, and, in front of your girlfriends, I will tell the story that you did it. What will you say about that?’ And in this way he gradually seduces her with the tricks that are used to frighten children and to reassure children. 25On the second and third nights, when she is a little more trusting, he works her with his hand 26and kisses her on every part of her body.
27 When he has placed his hand on her thighs and succeeded in caressing them, he moves his hand upward in stages and caresses her even where her thighs join her torso. If she restrains him from caressing her, he unsettles her by saying, ‘What wrong am I doing?’ and continues doing it until she has become used to it. And when he has succeeded in this, he touches her hidden places. 28Then he loosens her waistband, unties its knot, puts aside her clothes, and caresses her where her thighs join her torso. And all of these things he does under other pretexts. Then he penetrates her and gives her sexual pleasure. But he should not break his vow before the right time.
29 He teaches her, demonstrates his love for her, and describes the wishes that he had in the past. He promises to do, in the future, whatever is to her liking. He breaks down her anxiety about her co-wives. Gradually, in time, when she is no longer a virgin, he makes advances to her without unsettling her. That is how he wins the girl’s trust.
30 And there are verses about this:
A man who answers a young girl’s true feelings
in this way subdues her by a stratagem;
and so she falls in love with him
and begins to trust him.
31A man achieves success with virgins when
he rubs them neither too much the right way*
nor too much the wrong way;
and so he conquers midway in between.
32 If a man knows how to win a virgin’s trust,
awakening her love for him,
he increases women’s respect for him
and becomes dear to them.
33 But if a man neglects a virgin
because he thinks, ‘She is too bashful’,
she despises him as a beast,*
for she thinks, ‘He does not understand my intentions.’
34 Or if a man who does not understand
a virgin’s true feelings makes advances to her,
even by force, she experiences, all at once,
fear, trembling, anxiety, and hatred.
35 If she does not experience the pleasures of love
or if he pollutes her with anxiety,
she becomes a man-hater or,
hated,* she leaves him for another man.
CHAPTER THREE
[26] Making Advances to a Young Girl
1 But a man who has good qualities but no money, or who has indifferent qualities but no opportunities, or who has money but is a neighbour, or a man who is dependent on his mother, father, and brothers, or who is regarded as a child and welcomed as a guest, should not court a virgin, because he will not get her. 2From childhood on, however, all by himself he may make her fall in love with him. 3A man in such circumstances, living as a child with the family of his mother’s brother in the South under humiliating arrangements, separated from his mother and father, may win the daughter of his mother’s brother even if her wealth raises her so far above him as to make her unattainable, even if she has already been given to another man. 4He may also set his sights on another girl outside the family. 5Ghotakamukha says, ‘Since making such a girl fall in love in this way achieves religious aims, it is to be praised.’
6 He gathers flowers with her, strings beads, plays house, puts on puppet shows, and prepares things to eat and drink, all in a manner appropriate to their familiarity and their age. 7And with her and qualified servants and women servants, he plays the games of that region that are right for her, such as dice, board games, the games of the fist, of the little finger, of the middle finger; and the game of grabbing six pebbles. 8And with her girlfriends he plays other, livelier local games, such as ‘eyes shut tight’, ‘the start’, ‘the line of salt’, ‘striking the wind’, ‘heaps of wheat’, and ‘finger-tips’.*
9 He wins the inalienable love of the girl whom he thinks she trusts, and learns all about her intimate girlfriends. 10He treats the girl’s foster-sister* with the greatest love and consideration, for, if she likes him, even if she recognizes his intentions she does not warn anyone against him but works to unite him with the girl. Even if she is not asked, she can be a kind of teacher, 11for even if she does not recognize his intentions, she advertises his good qualities because of her love for him, so that the woman he wants falls in love with him. 12When the woman he wants is eager to have something, he finds out about it and gets it for her. 13Playthings that she has not had before, that the other girls seldom get, he produces for her with no apparent effort. 14For example, he shows her a ball with many streaks in different colours close together, one after another; and then dolls made of string, wood, horn, and ivory, and things made of beeswax, flour, and clay. 15And he demonstrates for her the kitchenware used to cook food. 16Within the range of his powers, he sends her, secretly, two little penises* carved in wood, and a man and a woman joined together; goats and sheep, and little houses for the families of gods, all made of clay, bamboo, and wood; cages for parrots, cuckoos, love-birds, quails, pheasants, and partridges; water-pots in various forms; mechanical toys; lutes; oysters; cosmetics such as red lac, red arsenic, yellow arsenic, red mercury sulphide, and black collyrium; sandalwood paste and saffron; and, in the course of time, areca nuts and betel leaves for betel. And openly he gives her more public things. He works hard to ensure that she will regard him as someone who will fulfil all of her wishes. 17Secretly he strives to see her, and thus starts a conversation. 18He announces that the reason for his secret gifts to her is his fear of her parents, and, ‘because another man may want to have one of those gi
fts’. 19As her love for him grows, if she has a mind for storytelling he charms her by telling stories that have meaning for her and that steal her heart. 20If marvellous things can impress her, he astonishes her by performing magic tricks. If she is curious about the fine arts, he impresses her by his skill in them; if she is fond of singing, he captivates her ear with songs. On the full moon night in the rainy season, on the eighth day of the waning half of the month in autumn, and on the full moon night in winter; at celebrations, festivals, eclipses, or homecomings, he impresses her with various sorts of coloured chaplets, ear ornaments, and rare pearls, and with gifts of clothing, rings, and jewellery, as long as he thinks that this will not make trouble for her.
21 If the girl’s foster-sister has had some experience of men and so knows that he is different from other men, he teaches her the sixty-four techniques.* 22And by teaching them to the foster-sister he demonstrates to the woman he wants his own skill in giving sexual pleasure. 23He dresses richly and makes sure that she has an unobstructed view of him; he finds out if she has erotic feelings for him by observing her gestures and signals. 24For it is commonly said: ‘Young women desire right from the start a man whom they know well and see all the time, but, even when they desire him, they do not make advances.’
That is how a man makes advances to a young girl.
[27] Interpreting her Gestures and Signals
25 Let us now talk about those gestures and signals.
26 She does not look at him face to face. When he looks at her, she acts embarrassed. She reveals the splendid parts of her body, under some pretext. She looks at the man when he is otherwise distracted, cannot see her, or has gone past her. 27When questioned about something, she replies by smiling, lowering her head, and mumbling indistinctly, with unclear meaning, very softly. She delights in staying near him for a long time. When she is some distance from him, she speaks to her attendants in an altered tone of voice, hoping that he will look at her. And she does not leave that place. 28When she sees something or other, she laughs and begins to tell a story about it in order to stay there for a while. She kisses and hugs a child on her lap. She paints the auspicious dot on the forehead of her servant woman. With her attendants as an audience, she imitates gracefully this and that mannerism of his. 29She confides in his friends, pays attention to their advice and follows it. She befriends his attendants, talks with them, and plays dice with them. And she instructs them in their own duties as if she were in charge of them. When one of them tells another stories about the man, she listens very carefully.
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