The girl’s personal tastes were expensive; she could linger in ecstasy all the morning over piles of wonderful furs without envy, without even thinking of them for herself; but when Kathleen mentioned the reason of their shopping, Geraldine always indicated sables as her choice, any single piece of which would have required half her yearly allowance to pay for.
And she was for ever wishing to present things to Kathleen; silks that were chosen, model gowns that they examined together, laces, velvets, jewels, always her first thought seemed to be that Kathleen should have what they both enjoyed looking at so ardently; and many a laughing contest they had as to whether her first quarterly allowance should be spent upon herself or her friends.
On the surface it would appear that unselfishness was the key to her character. That was impossible; she had lived too long alone. Yet Geraldine was clearly not acquisitive; though, when she did buy, her careless extravagance worried Kathleen. Spendthrift — in that she cared nothing for the money value of anything — her bright, piquant, eager face was a welcome sight to the thrifty metropolitan shopkeeper at Christmas-tide. A delicate madness for giving obsessed her; she bought a pair of guns for Scott, laces and silks for Kathleen, and for the servants everything she could think of. Nobody was forgotten, not even Mr. Tappan, who awoke Christmas morning to gaze grimly upon an antique jewelled fob all dangling with pencils and seals. In the first flush of independence it gave her more pleasure to give than to acquire.
Also, for the first time in her life, she superintended the distribution of her own charities, flying in the motor with Kathleen from church to mission, eager, curious, pitiful, appalled, by turns. Sentiment overwhelmed her; it was a new kind of pleasure.
One night she arose shivering from her warm bed, and with ink and paper sat figuring till nearly dawn how best to distribute what fortune she might one day possess, and live an exalted life on ten dollars a week.
Kathleen found her there asleep, head buried in the scattered papers, limbs icy to the knees; and there ensued an interim of bronchitis which threatened at one time to postpone her début.
But the medical profession of Manhattan came to the rescue in battalions, and Geraldine was soon afoot, once more drifting ecstatically among the splendours of the shops, thrilling with the nearness of the day that should set her free among unnumbered hosts of unknown friends.
Who would these unknown people turn out to be? What hearts were at that very moment destined to respond in friendship to her own?
Often lying awake, nibbling her scented lump of sugar, the darkness reddening, at intervals, as embers of her bedroom fire dropped glowing to the hearth, she pictured to herself this vast, brilliant throng awaiting to welcome her as one of them. And her imagination catching fire, through closed lids she seemed to see heavenly vistas of youthful faces — a thousand arms outstretched in welcome; and she, advancing, eyes dim with happiness, giving herself to this world of youth and friendship — crossing the threshold — leaving for ever behind her the past with its loneliness and isolation.
It was of friendships she dreamed, and the blessed nearness of others, and the liberty to seek them. She promised herself she would never, never again permit herself to be alone. She had no definite plans, except that. Life henceforth must be filled with the bright shapes of comrades. Life must be only pleasure. Never again must sadness come near her. A miraculous capacity for happiness seemed to fill her breast, expanding with the fierce desire for it, until under the closed lids tears stole out, and there, in the darkness, she held out her bare arms to the world — the kind, good, generous, warm-hearted world, which was waiting, just beyond her threshold, to welcome her and love her and companion her for ever.
CHAPTER III. THE THRESHOLD
She awoke tired; she had scarcely closed her eyes that night. The fresh odour of roses filled her room when her maid arrived with morning gifts from Kathleen and Scott.
She lay abed until noon. They started dressing her about three. After that the day became unreal to her.
Manhattan was conventionally affable to Geraldine Seagrave, also somewhat curious to see what she looked like. Fifth Avenue and the neighbouring side streets were jammed with motors and carriages on the bright January afternoon that Geraldine made her bow, and the red and silver drawing-rooms, so famous a generation ago, were packed continually.
What people saw was a big, clumsy house expensively overdecorated in the appalling taste of forty years ago, now screened by forests of palms and vast banks of flowers; and they saw a number of people popularly identified with the sort of society which newspapers delight to revere; and a few people of real distinction; and a young girl, noticeably pale, standing beside Kathleen Severn and receiving the patronage of dowagers and beaux, and the impulsive clasp of fellowship from fresh-faced young girls and nice-looking, well-mannered young fellows.
The general opinion seemed to be that Geraldine Seagrave possessed all the beauty which rumour had attributed to her as her right by inheritance, but the animation of her clever mother was lacking. Also, some said that her manners still smacked of the nursery; and that, unless it had been temporarily frightened out of her, she had little personality and less charm.
Nothing, as a matter of fact, had been frightened out of her; for weeks she had lived in imagination so vividly through that day that when the day really arrived it found her physically and mentally unresponsive; the endless reiteration of names sounded meaninglessly in her ears, the crowding faces blurred. She was passively satisfied to be there, and content with the touch of hands and the pleasant-voiced formalities of people pressing toward her from every side.
Afterward few impressions remained; she remembered the roses’ perfume, and a very fat woman with a confusing similarity of contour fore and aft who blocked the lines and rattled on like a machine-gun saying dreadfully frank things about herself, her family, and everybody she mentioned.
Naïda Mallett, whom she had not seen in many years, she had known immediately, and now remembered. And Naïda had taken her white-gloved hand shyly, whispering constrained formalities, then had disappeared into the unreality of it all.
Duane, her old playmate, may have been there, but she could not remember having seen him. There were so many, many youths of the New York sort, all dressed alike, all resembling one another — many, many people flowing past her where she stood submerged in the silken ebb eddying around her.
These were the few hazy impressions remaining — she was recalling them now while dressing for her first dinner dance. Later, when her maid released her with a grunt of Gallic disapproval, she, distraite, glanced at her gown in the mirror, still striving to recall something definite of the day before.
“Was Duane there?” she asked Kathleen, who had just entered.
“No, dear.... Why did you happen to think of Duane Mallett?”
“Naïda came.... Duane was such a splendid little boy.... I had hoped — —”
Mrs. Severn said coolly:
“Duane isn’t a very splendid man. I might as well tell you now as later.”
“What in the world do you mean, Kathleen?”
“I mean that people say he was rather horrid abroad. Some women don’t mind that sort of thing, but I do.”
“Horrid? How?”
“He went about Europe with unpleasant people. He had too much money — and that is ruinous for a boy. I hate to disillusion you, but for several years people have been gossipping about Duane Mallett’s exploits abroad; and they are not savoury.”
“What were they? I am old enough to know.”
“I don’t propose to tell you. He was notoriously wild. There were scandals. Hush! here comes Scott.”
“For Heaven’s sake, pinch some colour into your cheeks!” exclaimed her brother; “we’re not going to a wake!”
And Kathleen said anxiously: “Your gown is perfection, dear; are you a trifle tired? You do look pale.”
“Tired?” repeated Geraldine— “not in the least, dearest....
If I seem not to be excited, I really am, internally; but perhaps I haven’t learned how to show it.... Don’t I look well? I was so preoccupied with my gown in the mirror that I forgot to examine my face.”
Mrs. Severn kissed her. “You and your gown are charming. Come, we are late, and that isn’t permitted to débutantes.”
It was Mrs. Magnelius Grandcourt who was giving the first dinner and dance for Geraldine Seagrave. In the cloak-room she encountered some very animated women of the younger married set, who spoke to her amiably, particularly a Mrs. Dysart, who said she knew Duane Mallett, and who was so friendly that a bit of colour warmed Geraldine’s pallid cheeks and still remained there when, a few minutes later, she saluted her heavily jewelled hostess and recognised in her the fat fore-and-aft lady of the day before.
Mrs. Magnelius Grandcourt, glittering like a South American scarab, detained her with the smallest and chubbiest hands she had ever seen inside of gloves.
“My dear, you look ghastly,” said her hostess. “You’re probably scared to death. This is my son, Delancy, who is going to take you in, and I’m wondering about you, because Delancy doesn’t get on with débutantes, but that can’t be helped. If he’s pig enough not to talk to you, it wouldn’t surprise me — and it’s just as well, too, for if he likes anybody he compromises them, but it’s no use your ever liking a Grandcourt, for all the men make rotten husbands — I’m glad Rosalie Dysart threw him over for poor Jack Dysart; it saved her a divorce! I’d get one if I could; so would Magnelius. My husband was a judge once, but he resigned because he couldn’t send people up for the things he was doing himself.”
Mrs. Grandcourt, still gabbling away, turned to greet new arrivals, merely switching to another subject without interrupting her steady stream of outrageous talk. She was celebrated for it — and for nothing else.
Geraldine, bewildered and a little horrified, looked at her billowy, bediamonded hostess, then at young Delancy Grandcourt, who, not perceptibly abashed by his mother’s left-handed compliments, lounged beside her, apparently on the verge of a yawn.
“My mother says things,” he explained patiently; “nobody minds ‘em.... Shall we exchange nonsense — or would you rather save yourself until dinner?”
“Save myself what?” she asked nervously.
“The nuisance of talking to me about nothing. I’m not clever.”
Geraldine reddened.
“I don’t usually talk about nothing.”
“I do,” he said. “I never have much to say.”
“Is that because you don’t like débutantes?” she asked coldly.
“It’s because they don’t care about me.... If you would talk to me, I’d really be grateful.”
He flushed and stepped back awkwardly to allow room for a slim, handsome man to pass between them. The very ornamental man did not pass, however, but calmly turned toward Geraldine, and began to talk to her.
She presently discovered his name to be Dysart; and she also discovered that Mr. Dysart didn’t know her name; and, for a moment after she had told him, surprise and a confused sense of resentment silenced her, because she was quite certain now that they had never been properly presented.
That negligence of conventions was not unusual in this new world she was entering, she had already noticed; and this incident was evidently another example of custom smilingly ignored. She looked up questioningly, and Dysart, instantly divining the trouble, laughed in his easy, attractive fashion — the fashion he usually affected with women.
“You seemed so fresh and cool and sweet all alone in this hot corner that I simply couldn’t help coming over to hear whether your voice matched the ensemble. And it surpasses it. Are you going to be resentful?”
“I’m too ignorant to be — or to laugh about it as you do.... Is it because I look a simpleton that you come to see if I really am?”
“Are you planning to punish me, Miss Seagrave?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know how.”
“Fate will, anyway, unless I am placed next you at dinner,” he said with his most reassuring smile, and rose gracefully.
“I’m going to fix it,” he added, and, pushing his way toward his hostess, disappeared in the crush.
Later young Grandcourt reappeared from the crush to take her in. Every table seated eight, and, sure enough, as she turned involuntarily to glance at her neighbour on the right, it was Dysart’s pale face, cleanly cut as a cameo, that met her gaze. He nodded back to her with unfeigned satisfaction at his own success.
“That’s the way to manage,” he said, “when you want a thing very much. Isn’t it, Miss Seagrave?”
“You did not ask me whether I wanted it,” she said.
“Don’t you want me here? If you don’t—” His features fell and he made a pretence of rising. His pale, beautifully sculptured face had become so fearfully serious that she coloured up quickly.
“Oh, you wouldn’t do such a thing — now! to embarrass me.”
“Yes, I would — I’d do anything desperate.”
But she had already caught the flash of mischief, and realising that he had been taking more or less for granted in tormenting her, looked down at her plate and presently tasted what was on it.
“I know you are not offended,” he murmured. “Are you?”
She knew she was not, too; but she merely shrugged. “Then why do you ask me, Mr. Dysart?”
“Because you have such pretty shoulders,” he replied seriously.
“What an idiotic reply to make!”
“Why? Don’t you think you have?”
“What?”
“Pretty shoulders.”
“I don’t think anything about my shoulders!”
“You would if there was anything the matter with them,” he insisted.
Once or twice he turned his handsome dark gaze on her while she was dissecting her terrapin.
“They tip up a little — at the corners, don’t they?” he inquired anxiously. “Does it hurt?”
“Tip up? What tips up?” she demanded.
“Your eyes.”
She swung around toward him, confused and exasperated; but no seriousness was proof against the delighted malice in Dysart’s face; and she laughed a little, and laughed again when he did. And she thought that he was, perhaps, the handsomest man she had ever seen. All débutantes did.
Young Grandcourt turned from the pretty, over-painted woman who, until that moment, had apparently held him interested when his food failed to monopolise his attention, and glanced heavily around at Geraldine.
All he saw was the back of her head and shoulders. Evidently she was not missing him. Evidently, too, she was having a very good time with Dysart.
“What are you laughing about?” he asked wistfully, leaning forward to see her face.
Geraldine glanced back across her shoulder.
“Mr. Dysart is trying to be impertinent,” she replied carelessly; and returned again to the impertinent one, quite ready for more torment now that she began to understand how agreeable it was.
But Dysart’s expression had changed; there was something vaguely caressing in voice and manner as he murmured:
“Do you know there is something almost divine in your face.”
“What did you say?” asked Geraldine, looking up from her ice in its nest of spun sugar.
“You so strenuously reject the truthful compliments I pay you, that perhaps I’d better not repeat this one.”
“Was it really more absurd flattery?”
“No, never mind....” He leaned back in his chair, absently turning the curious, heavily chiselled ring on his little finger, but every few moments his expressive eyes reverted to her. She was eating her ice with all the frank enjoyment of a schoolgirl.
“Do you know, Miss Seagrave, that you and I are really equipped for better things than talking nonsense.”
“I know that I am,” she observed.... “Isn’t this spun sugar delicious!”
“Yes; and so are you.”
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But she pretended not to hear.
He laughed, then fell silent; his dreamy gaze shifted from vacancy to her — and, casually, across the room, where it settled lightly as a butterfly on his wife, and there it poised for a moment’s inexpressive examination. Scott Seagrave was talking to Rosalie; she did not notice her husband.
After that, with easy nonchalance approaching impudence, he turned to his own neglected dinner partner, Sylvia Quest, who received his tardy attentions with childish irritation. She didn’t know any better. And there was now no time to patch up matters, for the signal to rise had been given and Dysart took Sylvia to the door with genuine relief. She bored him dreadfully since she had become sentimental over him. They always did.
Lounging back through the rising haze of tobacco-smoke he encountered Peter Tappan and stopped to exchange a word.
“Dancing?” he inquired, lighting his cigarette.
Tappan nodded. “You, too, of course.” For Dysart was one of those types known in society as a “dancing man.” He also led cotillions, and a morally blameless life as far as the more virile Commandments were concerned.
He said: “That little Seagrave girl is rather fetching.”
Tappan answered indifferently:
“She resembles the general run of this year’s output. She’s weedy. They all ought to marry before they go about to dinners, anyway.”
“Marry whom?”
“Anybody — Delancy, here, for instance. You know as well as I do that no woman is possible unless she’s married,” yawned Tappan. “Isn’t that so, Delancy?” clapping Grandcourt on the shoulder.
Grandcourt said “yes,” to be rid of him; but Dysart turned around with his usual smile of amused contempt.
“You think so, too, Delancy,” he said, “because what is obvious and ready-made appeals to you. You think as you eat — heavily — and you miss a few things. That little Seagrave girl is charming. But you’d never discover it.”
Grandcourt slowly removed the fat cigar from his lips, rolled it meditatively between thick forefinger and thumb:
“Do you know, Jack, that you’ve been saying that sort of thing to me for a number of years?”
Works of Robert W Chambers Page 426