by A. G. Khaliq
I scratched my arm awkwardly, heat rising to my cheeks.
I let out a sigh that I didn’t know I was holding. Hoping that he’d enjoyed the performance I’d given him. Hoping that I hadn’t embarrassed myself.
The song in the club switched to Ne-Yo's 444
Let Me Love You.
Donte started walking towards me, his eyes not leaving mine for a second.
I scratched my arm, burning underneath his gaze. Burning underneath him. He was consuming me entirely. My life would never be the fucking same again after tonight…
“Dance
with
me,
Sapphire,”
he
murmured.
“W - what?” I stammered shakily.
“Dance with me,” he repeated.
I walked towards him nervously, and almost tripped over on his feet, being the clutz that I was.
But before I could fall over, he grabbed hold of me with his strong, heavy arms, pulling me into a slow dance.
My heart was thumping frantically. There was hardly any space between us. I could feel his warm breath on my neck, and smell his cologne.
His woody scent.
And it was driving me wild.
His hands were all over me. Rubbing up and down the arch of my back, knowing how much I would whimper whenever he touched me there. Knowing that only he was capable of making me sigh in pleasure over his fingers just tracing my soft skin. He tilted my chin upwards, 445
forcing me to look him in his eyes. Making my world come crashing down on me. Because I knew how crazy I was about this man. The man who I once thought was a monster…
Was nothing like that.
I was falling in love with him.
I knew it…
And I think he knew it, too.
And then the lyrics to Ne-Yo's song started playing.
Much as you blame yourself, you can't be blamed for the way that you feel Had no example of a love that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had?
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that
My heart started beating into a frenzy.
It felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
Donte leaned forward, not breaking eye contact with me once, and started planting soft kisses on my neck. I couldn't help but moan.
“Donte…” I whimpered.
“Shhh…” he murmured, as he continued to kiss me.
I was desperate for more.
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Every kiss left me aching. Aching to feel him. Knowing that I would never be satisfied.
Knowing that each kiss wouldn’t be enough.
My body throbbed with desire. Pleading him to go faster. Harder. To quit with the slow-burn. To fuck me passionately. To fuck me until I forgot my own name.
He slid his hands underneath my dress, desperately tugging at the zipper. Desperately trying to feel my bare flesh on his.
“Donte, please…” I moaned.
“You’ve been a bad girl,” he growled. “A very, very fucking bad girl.”
He threw me backwards onto the couch, climbing on top of me. Spreading my legs as far apart as he could, pulling my dress down until I was just in my lingerie. I bit my lip in anticipation. He groaned as he drunk me in.
Drunk in my every curve. All of my perfect imperfections.
“Fuck…” he growled, throwing himself on top of me as his lips crashed down onto mine so hard that I lost the ability to breathe. I slid my tongue into his mouth, whimpering as I begged him to come even closer to me. Wrapping my legs around him so tight that I could physically feel how fucking hard he was.
I slid my hand inside of his boxers, 447
stroking his massive length up and down as he continued to kiss me with urgency.
“Fuck… Fuck, Sapphire…” he growled against my mouth, in a voice that I didn’t recognize, as his cock throbbed against my hand.
His fingers moved my panties to the side, as he played with my clit while he kissed me, causing me to scream.
“You’re so wet…” he moaned. “So wet…”
“Time's up!” came a voice.
Donte jumped off me in shock, and I spun around, desperately reaching for my clothes, pulling them on me as quickly as I could. I looked in the direction of the doorway, to see that it was the man who’d confused me for a stripper.
Donte sighed agitatedly, pissed off that we’d been interrupted. He adjusted his trousers, doing his best to hide his hard-on. I scratched my arm awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say. Feeling sexually frustrated as fuck. Needing to feel Donte again, but the man who walked in and interjected had killed the mood now.
“Oooh, you two look comfy,” the man smirked, grinning from ear-to-ear. “Why do you both look so pissed? Did I interrupt something?”
We didn’t reply. I tried my best to suppress a laugh.
448
“I'm guessing you two know each other?”
he asked, coughing loudly.
“Why did you confuse her for a stripper?”
Donte asked, rolling his eyes. “Jesus, Daniel, are you that incompetent at your job?”
“I...”
Daniel
began
awkwardly.
“Uhhhh....”
He sighed heavily, shaking his head.
“Well, she looked lost okay?” he exclaimed in his own defence. “She was hanging out by the stripper podiums.”
I couldn’t help but to burst into a fit of giggles. A smile formed on Donte’s lips too.
A smile that I didn’t realize I’d missed so much…
“Either way, I still want my money from tonight,” I retorted to Daniel, with my hands on my hips. “I might even consider taking this on as a night job.”
I winked at him playfully, knowing just how to push Donte’s fucking buttons.
“You'll be doing no such thing,” Donte interjected. “My strip club, my rules.”
“But I need the money,” I remarked, smirking.
“You don't belong here,” Donte shrugged.
“What's that supposed to mean, Prince Charming?” I said sarcastically, and Daniel 449
roared with laughter.
“Daniel, pay her 40,000 dollars for tonight,” Donte grinned. “And tell the security guards to never let her in again.”
My eyes widened in shock and disbelief, not being able to believe my fucking ears. 40,000
dollars just to never make me come here again?
That would be more than enough to send to my mom for her care.
Donte was so hot when he was jealous and overprotective, and I couldn’t help but to feel my cheeks burn up. I tried my best to stay cool about it, and make sure that he knew who was boss around here.
“You can't ban me, I came here on a night out with friends!” I shot at Donte.
“Guess you're just going to have to find another club to go to then,” Donte smirked.
“Doll face,” he added on, in a deep, raspy voice.
“And why are you giving me 40,000
dollars?” I asked, mind-blown and unable to hide my bafflement anymore. “Have you gone out of your damn mind?!”
“Nope, just crazy in love with you baby girl,” he murmured.
I froze to the spot, feeling goosebumps rise on every inch of my skin.
Unable to believe my fucking ears.
450
Unable to take in what he’d just said…
“Besides, it's non-returnable,” Donte grinned. “I'm wiring it to your bank account tonight, whether you like it or not.”
I scratched my arm timidly, my eyes darkening with lust as I stared at him. It was as if he was reading my mind, and he was thinking the same things that I was. I wanted him to pick me up and slam me against the wall, while I kissed him like my life depended on it.
He was crazy in love with me?
His words kept repeating themselves to
me in my head.
Over…
…And over…
…And fucking over.
Daniel coughed loudly, causing me to jolt upwards, and snap out of my trance.
“There's no way I'm watching you two have a snog-a-thon,” he retched, pointing his finger up pretentiously. “This is already getting way too cringe. I'm outta here.”
I couldn’t help but to let out a giggle, and Donte laughed next to me.
I turned around to face him, and our eyes burned into each other. Neither of us would say a word. An eery silence echoed throughout the room. My throat suddenly felt way too fucking 451
dry. I couldn’t even open my mouth up and will myself to speak.
For fuck's sake.
This was so fucking awkward.
What was I meant to do, or even say now, especially after he’d dropped that bomb-shell on me?
“Well,” I mumbled. “I'd better go home now. It's getting late.”
“Sapphire, wait…” Donte pleaded.
“I shouldn't keep my friends waiting,” I said quickly, and bolted out of the room before he could call me back. Leaving Donte dithering there, wondering what had gone wrong again. I didn’t know what to say to him. Because as magical as tonight was, it wouldn’t fix all of the things that were left unsaid between us. All of the weeks of missed time that we could have had together.
I always ran away whenever shit got fucking real. Whenever the bubble that I was trapped in was burst, and life hit me at a thousand miles per fucking hour.
And I fucking hated that about myself.
I walked out of the club, not bothering to stay in there for a minute longer. Tears were pricking in my eyes, and I was back to feeling like fucking shit again.
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Dancing with Donte, getting intimate with him like that in the lounge...
And those fucking song lyrics, that fitted our situation so perfectly...
Just reminded me of what I was missing.
Reminded me of what we could have been.
I couldn't deal with this endless circle.
It was like getting my heart broken over, and over, and over again.
I drew out a deep breath, my chest heaving upwards and downwards as my head spun. Remembering everything that had happened tonight.
Now, I'd led him on all over again, when I didn't intend to.
A sudden ringing of my phone snapped me out of my thoughts. I jolted upwards, taking the phone out of my pocket, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion because I had no idea who it could fucking be.
I rubbed my chin in thought. It was an unknown number.
I hesitantly clicked the ‘Green’ phone call receive button, and sighed, holding my phone against my ear. Wondering who it was. Waiting for them to say something on the other end of the line.
453
“Hello, who's this?” I asked.
“Your mother is dead,” came a deep voice, on the other end of the line.
I froze in shock, my heart leaping to my chest as tears welled in my eyes.
Feeling completely and utterly numb.
Unable to believe my fucking ears.
454
59
maya
“What the fuck are you talking about?!” I demanded angrily, tears welling in my eyes.
Convinced that this was a prank caller. That this was some sort of sick fucking joke. I refused to believe what I was fucking hearing. “Who's this?!”
“Wow, I'm surprised you don't recognize my voice, Maya.”
I swallowed, my blood running cold, as I realized that it was Phillip. Phillip. My 455
motherfucking boss at the Secret Service, who’d sent me on this mission in the first place.
“It's your fucking boss,” he went on, his voice strung with venom. “At the Secret Service, in case you forgot about us.”
“Oh my God, Boss!” I mumbled. “I'm so sorry. Were you calling to check up on the mission? I don't understand. How is my mother dead?! Or did you just say that to get my attention? She was in good health, she can't be…”
I let out a sigh, my mind clouding with a million questions at once… Because this was the first time I was hearing my Boss’s voice ever since he’d sent me to Manhattan. The first time he’d rung me. The first time he’d fucking checked up on me. I couldn’t make sense of what the hell was happening, or what the hell was going on.
“Oh, so now you remember the mission!”
Boss roared. “The very reason that I sent you to go undercover in the fucking first place!”
“I don't understand why you sound so pissed,” I shot back timidly. “I've been doing the mission. I've been gathering evidence just like you asked me to.”
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, struggling to comprehend what his fucking point 456
was.
“I asked you to go there to nail the fucking mission, not just gather evidence that doesn't prove Donte's involvement!” Boss bellowed.
“Didn't I tell you that I WANT DONTE
ABRUZZI BEHIND BARS?! DIDN'T I TELL
YOU THAT IT'S DONTE BEHIND THE
MURDERS?!”
His voice was so loud and blood-curdling, that it caused me to jolt upwards, frightened by his reaction. Frightened by the way that he was speaking to me. I’d never heard him like this before. So heated, and so fucking angry.
“I know what you told me to do,” I pleaded. “But I don't think it's Donte behind the murders, Boss. I don't even think he has any involvement with the Mafia like you think he does. Neither his family… Isn't this all just a big misunderstanding on your part? Because when I was investigating, I always found other people connected to the murders. Never Donte. If Donte was behind the murders, do you really think I would-”
“Really would what?” Boss said in a low, bitter voice, cutting me off my sentence. “FALL
IN LOVE WITH HIM? Do you think I'm stupid, Maya?! Did you really think that I wouldn't find out?! I might not have been keeping in touch 457
with you, because I wanted to see how you dealt with the case yourself. But you've just proved to me how fucking incompetent you are. You've almost blown your identity, time and fucking time again. You don't think Donte would put a bullet in you if he found out the truth? That you're a fucking SECRET AGENT?” He broke off his sentence, seething, as I heard a loud smash on the other end of the line. “And why the fuck have you been ringing your mother?! You've just been compromising yourself again and again!”
“Why are you so desperate to put Donte behind bars?!” I demanded, screaming. “I just told you I've been fucking investigating, haven't I?! He's not behind the fucking murders. If he was, I would have never pursued things with him. And I had to contact my mother, because she said her money hadn't been fucking coming through for her care! Her goddamn food and treatment! Did you really think I wouldn't find a way to send money to my mother, after finding out your lame ass hadn't been providing for her?!
You promised me that you would!”
I shook my fists angrily, suddenly raging.
My blood was boiling to the point that it almost fucking dried up. How dare he speak to me like I was a whore. Like I was a useless bitch, who had no idea what the fuck she was doing. He had 458
another thing fucking coming.
“Don't you dare take that fucking tone with me!” Boss bellowed. “I told you from the first day that I assigned you on this damn task.
That you would be WIRE-TAPPED. I listened to everything that you fucking did, Maya. I've had a device in you ever since you joined the damn Service. A wire-chip, you fucking whore. Now you ought to treat me with some goddamn respect. I gave you this life, and I can take it away just as fucking easily.”
“With all due respect, fuck you, Boss,” I snapped bitterly. “I would never frame an innocent person for something that they didn't do.”
I hung up the phone angrily, not wanting to listen to his bullshit anymore. My head feeling like it was splitting open. Like s
omebody was crushing it with a fucking sledgehammer.
I was so angry.
So damn fucking angry.
I took a few moments to breathe in and out. Regaining my strength. Trying my best to get it together. Trying my best to cool down.
Who the actual fuck did my boss think he was?!
Speaking to me like this…
When he left me in the dark for all of this 459
time that I'd been on the mission!
Fucking bastard!
I shook my fists angrily, punching the wall behind me, seething. Trying my best to stay calm, which was proving to be more and more fucking difficult.
I opened my mouth to scream, but before I could even get a noise out, my phone began ringing again. I grabbed it out of my pocket, slamming it next to my ear, clenching my teeth in a state of rage.
“WHAT IS IT NOW?!” I roared.
“WHAT?!”
“And I wasn't lying, Maya,” came Boss’s voice. He spoke in a low, cold, icy tone, that caused shivers to shoot down my spine. He didn’t even sound like he had a conscience.
“Your mother is dead. I had her killed. You needed fucking straightening out after the shit I heard you'd been doing. Consider that a fucking lesson not to cross me again. And if you fuck things up one more time, this is a warning. I will be taking matters into my own hands again.”
He dialled off the phone…
And this time, I allowed myself to scream.
I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing and wailing for my mother.
Sobbing at God for not saving her.
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Sobbing at God for taking my mother away from me.
My rock.
My fucking world.
I rocked myself backwards and forwards as I screamed.
Feeling completely numb.
Empty.
Hollow.
Broken.
Shattered.
Defeated.
Knowing that the life I once knew, would never be the fucking same again.
Knowing that the life I once knew, had come crashing down at me all at once…
Leaving me with nothing.
Leaving me to be a dead woman walking.