by KC Crowne
She frowned as she searched for the right way to say what she needed to say. “I know it’s a really personal question. But I thought I’d ask since you’re a parent, and I don’t really know anything about what that’s like.”
I took off my hat and scratched my head, trying to wrap my mind around what she was asking. Did I want any more kids? I considered the question. “Well, that’s kinda hard to say. Because back before I knew I had El, I never gave much thought to the matter. I was busy on the ranch, busy with my family, busy in a million other ways.”
“So…you didn’t.”
“I mean, it’d crossed my mind before, sure. Especially with my brothers getting married and starting families of their own. But I’d always figured stuff like that was something that’d happen far into the future, maybe years from now.”
“But what about now that you have El?” Her voice held a strange urgency, like she really, really wanted to know the answers to the questions.
“Now that I have El? I’ve only known she existed for a couple of months. And comin’ to terms with bein’ a parent’s still somethin’ I’m trying to do. Not exactly thinkin’ about how many more I want – if I even do.”
“Oh.”
“And not to mention it ain’t like I had her under normal circumstances.”
“That’s true,” she mused. “It’s gotta be really strange that you’re just living your life and then one day you find out that life’s never going to be the same.”
“Somethin’ like that. That’s the thing about bein’ young – you’re so damn focused on living in the moment, enjoyin’ the fact that you’ve got your whole life laid out in front of you that you forget that you’ve got your whole life laid out in front of you. Whether you know it or not, you’re makin’ decisions that’re gonna have long term consequences, good or bad.”
She said nothing, and I got the impression all sorts of thoughts were running through her head.
“And I got lucky,” I continued in her silence. “My consequences were good ones, happy ones. I didn’t know what my life was going to be like after El showed up, but now that she’s here, I couldn’t imagine it being any other way.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, a smile on my lips. “You hear all those clichés about being a parent, how your life changes forever, how you can’t even remember what it was like before they came along. And you think, ‘yeah, yeah – heard it all before.’ But they’re all true. It’s kinda like how when you fall in love, all those cheesy songs stop bein’ cheesy and start makin’ perfect sense.”
I stopped myself, bringing my mug to my lips and taking a long sip just so I’d have something to stop my mouth from running.
She smiled, not bothered in the slightest. “I like to hear you talk about being a dad. Your face lights up, even though I know you’re trying to keep yourself in check.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only when you’re talking about her. The rest of the time you’re so hard to read, always with that look in your eyes like you’re thinking about a million things at once. But when you talk about El, all I see is love written all over your face.”
“That’s a nice thought. And yeah, love’s all I feel when I talk about her. She’s my little girl – I’d do anything for her.”
Another silence fell, and Sam looked out over the ranch.
“Truth be told, I’m not sure how to answer your question. On the one hand, you’re right – El’s more than enough work on her own. Granted, it’s work I’m happy to do, but still, it’s more than enough to keep me busy. Sitting down and trying to figure out if I’m ready for more hasn’t been on my mind. Especially since it ain’t like I’m married.”
Her expression was still hard to read, and I couldn’t seem to stop talking.
“But I wasn’t ready for El. Now that she’s here, I can’t imagine my life without her. I suppose if another child came into my life, it’d be the same thing. Not to mention I’m sure El would love to have a little brother or sister to play with – once she got over not bein’ the center of attention of course.” I chuckled.
“That makes sense.” Her words were crisp, as if she’d been hoping for a certain answer and had gotten it.
“You got somethin’ on your mind, Sam? Gotta admit I’m curious why you’re askin’ me about this.”
She chewed her lip in thought, her eyebrows sinking a bit in worry. “It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t sound or look like nothin’. Spill it, woman.”
“I mean, I’m probably just worried for no reason.”
“Sam.” Her name came out in a stern tone.
She took a deep breath, running her hands over her legs, preparing herself to speak. “I’m…late.”
Ho-ly shit. That was not what I was expecting. I sat forward as I replied. “Shit. That’s…somethin’ else.”
She turned to me, her face earnest as she explained. “It’s not by much. And I looked up some information, and it very well could be nothing. Women are late all the time.”
“They’re also late when they’re pregnant,” I stated. “How do you feel?”
“How do I feel? Nervous, not sure what to do.”
I shook my head. “No, not like that. I remember Mama G talkin’ about havin’ kids back in the day, and she said whenever she was about to have another one of us, the first sign was that she always felt different, like she just knew. You feelin’ anything like that?”
She took time to respond, thinking it over. “I feel like something’s changed in me. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Sounds like you need to take a test. Find out one way or another.”
She nodded. “I agree.”
“I’ll see if one of my sisters-in-law can keep an eye on Ellie, and we can run into town.” We both stood up, standing in place for a few long moments. “We’ll figure this out,” I said, taking her hand. “Don’t you worry about a thing, alright?”
She nodded. “Alright”
I squeezed her hand, and with a lingering look into one another’s eyes, we were off. We got Ellie situated in the main house, and I ran over to my cabin. Once I was behind the wheel of my truck, my mind started racing.
Pregnant. Sam might be pregnant. What would we do? Would she want to keep it? Did I want her to? The questions were continuous and flowing, none of which I could answer easily.
I pulled in front of the house where Sam was already waiting for me. She climbed in, and I offered her a smile. “Let’s do this.”
Chapter 18
SAMANTHA
The first several minutes of the drive was spent in total silence. I worried Chance was angry since I’d dropped a bomb on him that he wasn’t prepared to deal with. But those fears were allayed when he reached over and put his hand on my leg; his eyes fixed on the winding road into Patterson.
“This isn’t what we expected,” he broke the silence. “Neither of us were plannin’ on anything like this. But if it’s the case, then it’s the case. Don’t you spend a minute worryin’ about what-ifs or anything like that. We’re in it together, got it?”
Those were the exact words I wanted to hear. I wasn’t worried Chance might freak out, boot me off the ranch and tell me to never talk to him again – he wasn’t that kind of man. But we weren’t married. Hell, we weren’t even a couple. The uncertainty between us meant more uncertainty about this new situation.
“It’ll be fine. Things work out the exact way they’re supposed to. A little Mama G wisdom for you.”
I was calm, but those words brought a smile to my face.
A short drive later, we reached Patterson. But as we approached the pharmacy, Chance kept on driving.
“What are you doing?”
“Small town,” he said. “People talk. And I don’t want word gettin’ out before we’ve both had a little time to process things on our own, one way or another.”
Made sense. We drove through the town center, continuing u
ntil we eventually reached a Wal-Mart, and I felt better being in the anonymity of a random big box store. We parked in an open space in front, Chance leaving the engine running.
“You wait here and keep the doors locked.”
“Thanks.”
He squeezed my hand again before running inside. I watched him disappear into the crowd funneling into the front entrances of the store until all I could see of him was his cowboy hat. He towered above nearly everyone there but soon vanished into the florescent interior.
I spent the next ten minutes wondering what the hell I was going to do. What he’d said about just “feeling it,” just knowing…it stuck with me. There was no doubt in my mind that I felt different. But I couldn’t tell if it was my body’s way of letting me know I was pregnant, or if it was simply nerves doing the talking.
Relief washed over me when I spotted Chance’s unmistakable, enormous figure as he exited the store, a plastic bag in his huge hand. He climbed in and handed the bag to me.
“Three tests?” I asked after looking inside.
He offered me a small, half-smile. “One might be wrong, but I doubt three of them would be.”
My heart raced as we drove back to the ranch. Soon I’d know if I was pregnant and being so close to my life potentially changing forever…I had no idea how to feel. I had to at least try to play it cool. If we happened to bump into anyone on the way, I couldn’t look like I was freaking out on the inside. Luckily, Chance’s hand stayed on mine as we drove, only moving to shift the truck’s gears.
“We’ll go to my cabin,” he announced. “More privacy there.”
At the gate to Rainbow Canyons, Chance leaned out the window to put the code into the keypad. The metal gates smoothly opened, and a few minutes later, we were in front of his cabin. Once inside, we sat on the couch, my hands working feverishly to open the box of one of the pregnancy tests and unfold the instructions.
“What’s it say?” he asked.
“It says to pee on it and wait, set a timer for two minutes.”
“Then let’s get to it.”
I nodded, taking one more deep breath before opening the rest of the packages and heading into the bathroom. Once the business was taken care of, I set the timer on my phone for two minutes and returned to the living room. Chance was sitting on the couch, two mugs in his hands that he set on the coffee table.
“Made a little tea,” he said. “It’s this special blend Emily likes – supposed to calm the nerves. I figured coffee would get us both more keyed up than we need to be right about now. Put a little honey in there too.”
I sat down next to him, my eyes locking onto the dark contents of the big, ceramic mug. Chance put his hand on my upper back, soothing me.
“How you feelin’?” he asked.
“I hate moments like this,” I confessed with a little chuckle. “I like to know things, one way or another, good or bad. But when all you can do is wait…they make me crazy.”
“I know what you mean,” he said. “Nothin’ worse than waitin’. But it’s only a couple minutes.”
I put my head on his shoulder. Chance wrapped his arm around me and held me close. As scary as it was, I found myself wondering what it’d be like to go through this on my own, how lost and helpless I’d feel. It made me thank my lucky stars I had a man like Chance there to support me.
But who knew what he’d decide if the tests were positive? He’d said the right words when we’d discussed it earlier, but saying and doing were two different things. What if he decided that keeping me and a baby around, complicating his life, just wasn’t worth it? First, my crazy ex and maybe a baby? What if I’d worn out my welcome?
“Don’t worry about it until it happens,” he consoled, his hand rubbing my shoulder.
“Huh?”
He smiled. “I can tell what you’re thinking – it’s the uncertainty. It does that to you. Just relax. It’ll all be fine.”
The alarm sounded on my phone, and I turned it off so quickly it barely had a chance to play. I disappeared into the bathroom. The three tests were on the edge of the counter, waiting for me to look at them.
They were all positive.
I was stunned, frozen in place. Chance’s words echoed in my mind about how one test might be wrong, but three tests sure as hell wouldn’t be. Three tests, three positives.
I was pregnant.
Chance’s heavy footsteps approached behind me. “Well?”
Speaking was the last thing I felt capable of doing. Apparently sensing this, Chance stepped past me and leaned over the counter, his eyes sweeping over the three tests.
“Holy…Well, would you take a look at that?”
If he was stressed, he didn’t show it. Chance was reacting as if he’d taken a look at the front page of the paper and spotted a story that had struck his interest. Now was the moment of truth, when I’d see his real reaction.
He straightened, turned around, and put his hands on his hips. “That’s somethin’ else.” His expression was one of concern as if he was trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do. The expression didn’t linger long. A big smile took its place, the whites of his teeth showing. “It’s kind of incredible.”
He put his hands on my hips, still beaming down at me. “How do you feel?”
“How do you feel?”
“Let’s sit down.” He took my hand and led me to the couch, each step feeling like I was moving underwater.
I dropped onto the couch, staring straight ahead. “I’m pregnant,” I said. “I’m going to be a mom.”
“You’re going to be a mom, and I’m going to be a dad – again.” He put his hand on my leg. “Sam, I ain’t gonna pretend to know what you’re goin’ through. I’m sure you’re thinkin’ a million things at once, or maybe your mind’s blank. So, here’s what I’ll say – you and I are in this together. You worried I might leave you to deal with this on your own? Well, that ain’t gonna happen. Together – that’s the only word you need to know. You understand?”
Relief trickled through me. It took all the focus I had to come to my senses and nod. “You’re not mad?”
“Mad? Hell no! Show me someone who’s mad about bein’ a mom or dad, and I’ll show you someone who ain’t right in the head. This is surprising news, no damn doubt about that, but it’s wonderful.”
Maybe it was the warmth in his words, maybe it was the way he was putting all of my fears to rest. But I smiled. I smiled in spite of the worry, in spite of the uncertainty, in spite of the massive change that had just turned my life upside down.
He took my chin into his hand and gently turned my face toward his. Chance looked deeply into my eyes, the expression on his face saying more than any words could. He leaned toward me, his lips drawing closer to mine. When he was only an inch or two away, I closed the distance between us.
The kiss was powerful. Our passion before had been based on the insane attraction we’d had for each other, but the moment our lips touched, I knew things had changed.
There was a complexity to it, a profound depth of emotion and feeling.
The kiss lingered, the world outside of us falling away. Our movements synced up perfectly. We rose from the couch and made our way to the bedroom, taking bits of clothing off one another, shoes and boots and socks and shirts and pants, leaving a trail from the couch to the bed.
When we reached his bedroom, we were in nothing at all. He loomed over me, kissing me deeply. I took his cock into my hand and stroked it, his length pulsing to a long stiffness. Chance placed his hand between my thighs and moved the side of his hand along my lips. I was wet, growing wetter by the second because of his touch.
Chance took his lips from mine for long enough to place his hand on the small of my back and lay me down on the bed. He stood over me, his powerful, tattooed body looming larger-than-life, his long, thick cock pointed forward.
“You’re just so damn beautiful I can’t help but stare sometimes.”
I smiled as I lay under
him, his words making me feel on the verge of melting.
He moved toward me, positioning his body over mine, his cock grazing my hip. He lowered his head and kissed my breasts, one then the other, then brought his mouth to mine.
“I need you inside me,” I whimpered, my voice low and heavy with arousal. “I need it now.”
I reached down and clasped his cock again, bringing his head to my lips. Chance did the rest, pushing into me and filling me in the way only he could. I sighed with pleasure as he entered me. Once he was buried to the root, I wrapped my legs around his hips and held him there, savoring the feeling of him inside me.
He pulled back and slowly entered me again. I opened my eyes long enough to watch his cock vanish into me, watching that thickness, all those inches, disappear.
Chance stared into my eyes, and I returned his heated gaze.
Our orgasms arrived at the same time, warmth flooding my body as Chance’s cock began to pulse inside me. He grunted hard as he finished, and I closed my eyes, moaning as the pleasure moved through me, elevated by the sensation of Chance draining himself deep into me.
When we were done, he kissed me again before falling onto his side and placing his hand on my belly. Neither of us said anything for a time, and I wondered if he felt as if what we’d just done was different from all of the others.
“El,” he murmured finally.
“El. We have to tell her.”
“We have to tell them all,” he corrected gently.
“Tomorrow?”
He nodded. “Tomorrow. That sounds good. I don’t have a doubt in my mind that the news is gonna go over as well as Mama G’s blackberry pie. But still, we don’t gotta rush into anything tonight.”
There was more to be said about the feelings between us. What were we going to do? Would we be together?
But at that moment all I could think about strong feelings I felt for the man next to me.
Chapter 19
CHANCE
The next day, mid-afternoon, I was at Riley’s, one of the dive bars a couple of towns over. A pitcher of beer was in front of me, a glass poured for myself. But the beer had barely been touched.