by Penny Wylder
“Oh, she's fine, Douglas. She's doing about the same as she was the last time you were down. I was able to get some in home care for her so I could make the trip out to see you.” She reaches out and grabs my arm. “Well, are you going to show us around? I want to see what my big, important son is responsible for.”
“Of course, come on. I'll even introduce you to some of the stars that are here.” My parents follow me through the studio. I show them a few of the other sets, and my father snatches a doughnut off a table as we pass by.
“Stephen,” my mother snaps.
With a mouth full of jelly doughnut, my dad shrugs his shoulders. “What?” he mumbles. “You were warned that I'm hungry.”
I introduce my parents to Rod Greenefield, famous for his role in the blockbuster hit Ride, and Kelly Nester, who my mother recognizes from her favorite soap opera.
“Oh my God,” my mother says as she stops in her tracks. I expect her to point out another actress she recognizes, but instead, her eyes don't glisten for a star, they sparkle for someone she knows just as well as I do. “Is that Lyllian Hoxie?”
Before I can say anything, my mother calls out her name, causing Lyllian to whip around. Lyl squints her eyes, her lips instantly curling into a smile.
“Mrs. Meyers? Is that you?”
My mother holds her arms out and waves Lyllian in for hug. “Oh my, I haven't seen you in such a long time. How are you? Let me look at you.” She holds the outside of her arms and looks her up and down. “You look just like your mother.”
Lyl gives her a big hug. “I'm doing really good.”
“And your mom, how is she?”
“She's good, too.”
“And your father?”
Lyl scrunches her face up and rocks her head on her shoulders. “Eh, he's all right, I guess. We don't talk that much, but he seems fine when I do talk to him.”
My mother purses her lips and frowns, but quickly turns it into a grin. “I didn't expect to see you here. You know, every time Doug comes down, I always hope to see you with him.”
“Yeah, he's thrown out the invite before, but I never wanted to intrude on you guys.”
“Honey,” my mother says, smoothing her hands down her hair, and holding her cheeks, “you would never be intruding, you're practically family.”
“And who is this beautiful woman?” Jim asks as he steps up beside us. “Our next Marilyn Monroe?”
“Oh, stop,” my mother says as she blushes. “Maybe in my younger years,” she teases.
“Jim, this is my mother, Mindy, and my father, Steve.”
He shakes their hands. “It's nice to meet you both. I see you've already met our newest addition to the team, your son's girlfriend, Lyllian. She's a natural, too, fits right in with us.”
“Girlfriend?” My mother's head whips over her shoulder, her eyes wide with shock. “When did this happen, and why didn't I know about it?”
“Um, yeah, Lyllian and I have been dating for a little while now. I'm sorry, I thought I told you, but I guess it slipped my mind.”
Lyllian spots my discomfort. She moves to my side and slips her arm around mine. “We meant to tell you, Mrs. Meyers, but we weren't sure how you'd feel about it.”
“I thought you were just roommates and friends.” My mother looks over at my father, and asks, “Did you know about this?”
He shakes his head no, and stuffs another doughnut in his mouth. He wants no part of this conversation. My father is the type of guy who just sits back and keeps his opinions to himself.
“So, you're telling me you've been a couple for months now, but you never once mentioned it? I don't understand, Douglas. Why would you hide this? You know how much we love Lyllian.”
“I know, and I swear, I really was going to tell you, but if it didn't work out for some reason, I didn't want you to resent her or me for how it might have ended. I know how much you love Lyllian, I just wanted to protect all of us.”
“He's telling you the truth, Mrs. Meyers.” Lyl squeezes my arm tighter. “We were worried about that. We didn't mean to hide it for this long, it just ended up that way.”
My mother's eyes veer, bouncing between both of us. Thinning her lips, her brows dip in hard. I don't know if she's buying our story. My mother's known Lyllian for as long as I have. She looks at her like a daughter. That's how close Lyl and I have been all our lives.
Does she see through us?
I wait for her to say something, but she's being so damn quiet. Her finger taps against her chin as she just glares at us with this look of disbelief. The corner of her lips lift up, and her chin tucks into her neck. She parts her lips, about to speak, but quickly closes her eyes and waves a hand in the air.
“You know what, it doesn't matter. If you two are happy, that's all I care about. Besides, I always wanted you two to date when you were younger.” Her thin lips become a huge grin. “I knew you were a perfect match. I was right, Stephen, wasn't I? Didn't I always tell you they'd make a cute couple?”
“I guess so,” my father says, his tone flat.
She flaps her hand in his direction and huffs under her breath. “Ignore him, his memory isn't good anymore.”
“Hey,” my dad barks.
We all laugh and my mother wraps us both in a hug. “I'm really happy for you two. I really, really am. You two have always complimented each other. I don't know why it took this long for you to get together. I saw it years ago.”
Lyllian's eyes flick to mine. I can see she doesn't like this. She doesn't like lying as is, but lying to my mother is killing her inside.
“Well,” Lyllian says, “it's been so nice to see you both, but I need to get back to work. Don't want to upset the boss.” She lifts up on her toes and gives me a kiss on the cheek. She hugs both my parents and goes back to sorting the new scripts on the table only a few feet away from us.
My mother is watching her with the biggest and brightest smile on her face. “She's perfect for you, Doug. I honestly can't tell you how happy this makes me to see you two finally together.” She lets her gaze drift to mine, her smile far too big for just being happy.
What does she want? I know that smile and it only happens when she's going to ask me about something I probably don't want to talk about.
“Soo, when do you think you'll pop the question?” She grins with clenched teeth and bats her brows up and down.
I cough as I try to swallow, my eyes expanding wide as saucers. “What?” I choke out the question, unsure I heard her right.
“Proposing, popping the question, tying the knot, you know. When are planning on putting a ring on her finger? I mean, you two aren't strangers. You have a history with her, you know everything about the girl. There's really nothing to think about if you ask me.”
Propose?
I expect my chest to constrict and sweat to stream down my face. Except the idea doesn't scare me as much as I thought it might. I never imagined asking anyone to marry me, but for some reason, the thought of asking Lyllian doesn't make me want to run away.
The idea makes my heart hammer and my muscles electrify. It makes the tips of my fingers go numb and the air around me hot.
I look over at her as she stares down at the stack of papers. She gently pushes a lock of hair behind her ear. It curls up, softly resting against her earlobe, before falling back into her eyes. There really is no other woman in this world as beautiful as her. I've always thought that. And her personality just fits who I am.
We have the same sense of humor, the same taste in music and movies. We're like a mirror image of each other. She makes me laugh. She makes me smile.
Could I really see myself with her?
The reality of this entire situation is built on a falsehood, a big lie that we concocted for our own personal gain. But if I truly feel nothing for her, if I really don't see this as more than a ploy, then why I can't stop thinking about her?
Maybe we are perfect for each other. Maybe my mother is right. Is it possible that
the girl I end up with is the same girl that knows all my secrets?
My heart begins to jump in my chest with excitement. A small flame ignites in my core. The more I think about Lyllian being mine, the more the idea seeps into my brain that I could have her as my wife, the more that tiny flame grows.
Is that what I really want, though? Is marriage even in the cards?
The rules are getting broken, my feelings are getting blurred, and it's getting harder and harder for me to separate fact from fiction.
She could be mine for real. . . I can't deny the excitement inside. The burning need to claim her and make her mine forever.
“Yeah, Doug,” my father chimes in, jarring me out of my own head. “The clock is ticking. You ain't getting any younger.”
“I'm twenty-five, Dad, that's not that old.”
Jim chuckles and punches me teasingly in the arm. “Seriously, you've hid this girl from all of us for far too long. Make it official. I hate to cut this short, but I need to run. Why don't you take your parents out for lunch, and take the rest of the day off? I'll see you tomorrow.”
“You sure? I don't want to leave you short.”
“It's fine. I'll call you if something major comes up, but I think I can handle things today. Maybe while you're out you can stop by a jewelry store.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Maybe we should stop this whole game and just come clean. . .
The truth sits on the tip of my tongue, except I can't get it out. I'm gagged. Silenced by a growing desire deep inside my core.
What if I like this too much to stop it now?
9
Douglas
My parents drop me back off in the parking lot of the movie studio. The lights are on and the cleaning crew is here. Everyone's gone for the day, except for one person.
Lyllian passes by the lit up window. She's still here.
“Are you sure you don't just want us to give you a ride home? You don't need to take a taxi. We can drop you off.” My mother leans out of the window as she talks to me. “It's not far.”
“No, it's fine. I want to go make sure everything ran smooth today after we left.” I keep looking back at the building and trying to catch a glimpse of her. I'm not sure why she's still here, but if she's working late, I'll keep her company.
“You're sure? This is your last chance for a ride.” She slaps the side of her door and laughs. “This baby still has it, even after you learned to drive in it.”
“I still can't believe you guys even have this car. I'm amazed it still runs.”
My father leans forward so he can see me out the window. “Things can last if you take care of them. Have I taught you nothing?”
I chuckle. “I know, I know, you've told me. I still think it's time for an upgrade, though.”
“I'll drive this car into the ground. That's the problem with you young kids these days, you're so ready to just toss away something good for the newest thing.”
“I get it, and I hear you. I'll try to keep that in mind when I want something.”
“Don't forget what we talked about. When you're ready—”
“I know, you'll come with me. I just need to sit on it for a few days, proposing is a big deal. When I do ask her, I want it to be perfect.”
I have no clue if I'm ever going to do it. My mother made some good points while we were out at lunch about how once you find the right girl, you don't want to let her go. She went on and on about how Lyllian is the perfect woman for me, and that she's the only girl over the years to put up with my shit.
And she's right, but we're not your typical couple.
I slap the roof and take a step back from the car. “I'll call you tomorrow.”
“All right, you better. We'd love to have dinner with you two.”
“I'll let her know, and we can pick a night. You're in town for a few days, I'm sure Lyllian would love that.”
My mother blows me a kiss as they drive out of the lot. I watch them until their taillights are tiny red dots in the distance, then I head inside. I start up the stairs to the second floor where all the offices are located. As I round the corner, Lyllian is coming down.
“Oh,” she says as she jumps and slams a hand to her chest. “You scared me. I didn't think you were coming back tonight.”
“Yeah, I just had my parents drop me back off here. I planned on picking up dinner on the walk home, but then I saw you in the window.”
“I just had to finish an edit of the last scene for Eileen. I'm all done, and about to head home myself.”
“Good, we can walk together.” I'm on the landing of the stairwell. Lyllian takes the last couple steps down, bringing her closer. “But,” I say, “before we do, there's something I've been dying to do all day.”
“What's that?” she asks.
I throw my hands out and clasp them around her face. Kissing her deep and long, I whisper against her lips. “I've been wanting to do this all damn day.”
She relaxes her face in my hands, kissing me back. “Oh yeah? All day?"
“All fucking day.” The words come out between rough kisses.
Lyllian pulls back, breaking our kiss as she takes a long step back. “Wait, Doug. Do you think we're going too far with all this?”
I match her step, and take a long one forward. “Too far? No, I think we have everything under control.” I kiss her again, and she accepts, kissing me back with just as much force and passion. “We can stop any time we want to.”
“Can we?” she asks as her hands glide down my chest. “Because I'm not so sure anymore.”
I lick the edge of her lips, my eyes peering deep into hers. “We're in control of this, Lyl, you and me. So why not enjoy what our dirty little secret is giving us?” I slide my hand up the side of her neck and cup her jaw.
She exhales as her lids close and her mouth hangs open. I run my tongue up her throat, twisting her head so I can kiss her. Her lips are wet, her tongue is warm, and her skin smells like vanilla.
“Fuck, Lyl, you make it so hard to stop. Look at you,” I say, my eyes rolling up and down her body. “You're perfect. This is perfect.”
“How do you do this? How do you make me feel like this is so right and so wrong at the same time?” Her back arches off the wall, forcing her tits up into my face.
I slip my tongue over the crests of her cleavage. “Maybe that's because the things you want sometimes in life aren't always good for you.” Walking her backwards, I force her back against the wall.
“If this isn't good for me, then why do I want it so badly?” She lays her head back on the wall and looks at me.
I can feel her. The way her eyes seem to see through everything I show on the outside, and penetrate me to the core. Lyllian sees me, the real me. She makes me want to do better, to be better, to become a better man.
“Because it makes you feel alive,” I answer. Placing a palm on the wall beside her head, I lean in close. “Can you feel it? Can you feel the tingle in your belly?” I run the tips of my fingers up her stomach. She's trembling as she sucks in a deep breath. “Can you feel it in your chest?” My fingers move over her tits, circling each hard nipple. “Can you feel it in your pussy?” My hand glides back down and cups her mound, giving her a squeeze.
Lyllian moans as her hips start to rock against my palm. “I can feel it,” she says, her voice a whisper.
“I know. Your body speaks to me, Lyl, it tells me what you want, and need. And right now, that's me.” I nibble her earlobe, tracing the outer shell with the tip of my tongue. “I want to give it to you.”
Her hips keep moving and rubbing. She's fucking my palm, grinding against me hard. I can feel the heat off her pussy through her clothes. Her pussy is so fucking wet, it's starting to soak through the thin fabric of her dress pants.
“I want to take it,” she breathes out. “I want you.”
Growling, I bite her neck, driving my hand inside her pants. My finger slips easily inside her pussy. Her arousal slicks my s
kin, dripping down the top of my hand and over my knuckle.
“Fuck, you're so damn wet. I love that, I love how wet you get. It's such a turn on.”
“You make me this wet. I can't control my body when you're close to me, touching me, kissing me.”
“You make me so damn hard.” I take her hand and put it on my dick. She grabs my bulge and squeezes the engorged tip. “Can you feel what you do to me? This is because of you.”
“That's so damn hot, I love it.” Lyllian traces the outline of my cock with her fingers, stroking my length on the outside of my pants.
“I want you so bad, Lyl.”
“I want you too.”
Look at her. Sweet and innocent. Luscious and dirty.
We could do this. We could do this and no one would know that we're living a lie.
Ask her. The voice in my head is loud and clear.
My lips move all over her throat, kissing and nipping. Tasting her skin. “You know what else I love?” I ask her.
“What?” Her voice is so soft that if I wasn't listening to her every move, I would have missed it.
“I love the idea of marrying you.”
Instantly, her body language changes. Her muscles go stiff, and her hips stop moving with my finger.
“What did you just say?” she asks, pushing me up so she can look me in the eyes.
“I said I love the idea of marrying you.”
She gives me a hard shove and pulls my hand out of her pants. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you hear yourself right now?”
“I don't understand why you seem so upset about this. It's not a bad idea.”
She huffs under her breath, her lids turning to slits. “And what about our rules, huh? None of this real, Doug, and now you're talking about getting married? What the hell did your parents say to you to make you think that would ever be a good idea?”
“Nothing, I was just thinking about it, and I think it might make things easier for us is all.”
“Easier?” Her harsh tone stings my ears as she says the word. “Easier? You're fucking insane. This is just pretend, remember? Or did you forget that?”