As the rest of them unloaded, I jumped off the back of the jeep and meandered away in a blur of thought. I broke down, falling on my knees.
“It's ok Blake,” Maddison said, running over and picking me up.
“No Maddy, she's dead,” I blurted with tears. “Oh no.”
I fell, sensing the boys watching me. I heard them stop talking and their footsteps cease. I didn't want to break down in front of them again, not without the dark sky and the gushing throb of the flames to mask my pain, like they had done on that terrible night.
“Every time I sleep and I wake I can't take it! It is waking up and instead of escaping the nightmare, it is the nightmare, reborn and real and I can't take it! I want to sleep, I want it to end but it won’t stop!”
“Enough, on your feet Blake!” Thomas ordered in a cold tone. Maddison shushed my cries like a toddler. She had strong maternal instincts. I loved her more and more. But in this moment, I was a wreck. I could not expose my feelings to her. She helped me onto my feet and looked me in the eyes. She was so beautiful, and her heart was kind, kinder than anyone I knew, or had known, other than my Mom. She reminded me of her so much.
An hour later we were ordered to attention by Thomas. We had been lounging on our makeshift tent beds and fooling around. I wouldn't say fooling around actually, just doing nothing but stare into dead space to pass the time. Contemplating life and our futures, our decisions that we were to make.
“Mason?” Maddison said coming into the tent behind him to give him a ration pack.
“One devilishly handsome man here,” Mason said, raising his hand and smiling.
Maddison took a moment and looked around the tent, tilting her head with an absent face.
“No, I dont… I dont see it, he must have just left,” she joked before handing him his ration.
“That stings,” he said, taking it from her.
“Listen up,” Thomas said. “Lieutenant wants us to patrol the western fence, we are staying here now, this is our new temporary home, keep gnashers away from the people,” Thomas announced to our defeated squad. He called the dead gnashers, due to the way they savagely gnashed their teeth at their victims.
“Good, I haven't slept well in days,” Mason said in relief while lying on his small bed. “Sleeping beside a campfire in the middle of nowhere, in the back of the jeeps? Thank goodness that’s over.”
“Yeah, thank goodness we're here and not in our own beds at home, and all is right in the world,” Jake mocked him and our situation. Silence fell.
“I think what Jake means is that we are in a bad place, and this is nothing to be relieved about,” Maddison said to Mason’s shocked expression.
“It's better than nothing Maddy, I’ve slept rough before, I’m glad at least now we have better circumstances. I’m trying to have a bit of positivity here.”
“Better circumstances, Jacob is dead?” Jake said harshly.
Mason rose up from the bed. “You know I didn't mean that, stop twisting it, I’m even more devastated than you know.”
“Enough!” Thomas silenced him. “I gave a command, get up all of you, break is over, we’re needed.”
I looked down to the concrete floor of the car park, then to my bag. I got ready to move, picking up everything valuable. Who knew who could steal in this camp?
“Blake,” I heard Hussain’s voice from behind me. I turned and found him as the others left to catch up with Thomas. He’d been quiet since the airport.
“I want you to know, I respect you more than any of them here. You're a straight talker, and only talk when you need to. I don't know what I would do if my-”
Hussain stopped short of finishing his sentence. “I admire your strength to keep going mate.”
I sighed and granted him a smile.
“Thank you, Hussain, you're humble and I think if everyone was as humble as you, the world would be a better place.”
He smiled back. Hussain was the man. I got up and held my rifle firm. Next stop was the western fence.
When we arrived, we were ordered to keep watch on the road leading to the junction to the city. At least we were not near the motorway on the eastern fence. That was the way we came, where the large crowd was. I looked out to the yellow horizon, then back to the towering fence. It was me, Hussain, Mason and Thomas out on the road. We were with another squad, there were eight of us altogether. Jake and Maddison held guard up in a watchtower with the radio.
“What’s going on? Corporal Thomas, Long!” Shouted a familiar voice as I patrolled the road ahead. It was unmistakably the snarky lieutenant. Lt. Richards.
“Give me a status,” he ordered as Thomas and the other corporal approached him. I looked ahead past the small crowd of people wanting entry. There was nothing, absolutely no movement anywhere, it was a ghost town, like something off the tv.
“What do you think old tight ass over there is saying to them?” Mason said, provoking conversation with the other, until now, mute squad.
“Probably asking them to wipe his arse for him,” said a large, stout bodybuilder type soldier by the looks of him, with shaded glasses on and a heavy GPMG in his arms.
“Pop down the shop for a choc bar and a juice would ya,” imitated another ginger lad.
“Long would probably do that for him, not going to lie,” said a woman soldier. I just thought she was a very small man with her helmet on because she hadn't turned around while I’d been here. She’d been quite astute at her job until then.
Suddenly another of their rank spoke.
“You know what. I can't do this. I can't do this anymore,” they said. It was a boy, he looked back to the fence and camp, then to the road and began walking away.
“Private come back!” Shouted the stout fellow with the shades.
The lieutenant and the corporals came forth then from the gate on the road.
“This is wrong,” I heard the deserting lad say, backing up away from camp, getting further and further away.
“Corporal, you get your man back here,” spoke Richards in a veiled threat. It was a warning, a command.
“Sir I?!” The other corporal, Long, stuttered.
“Crack the whip! Get him back,” Richards said adamantly.
“Yes sir,” said the corporal, mustering his courage.
“Private, you get your rancid looking face back here now!” He shouted, advancing away to his disobedient subordinate.
The boy just kept walking away, not even caring that he was abandoning his duty.
“Private McThomas. Fall back to the safe line!”
“To hell with you all. I am outta here!” I heard him shout. I didn't know what was happening, it was happening so quickly.
“Private McThomas we have authorization to use deadly force. Return to your squad. Now!” Shouted a solider from the guard tower on our left, above where the baying crowd moaned.
He just kept moving. The corporal and the tower guard raised their gun.
“What?” I said under my breath. He was going to kill his own man!
“Such a shame,” remarked Richards while turning his back on the situation and nodding to the guard on the tower.
“Wait. No!” I shouted, but he fired his rifle and gunned him down. His squad just watched as it happened, they didn't even try to stop him.
“What the hell?” Mason said, sounding completely aghast. Even he was shocked. The crowd screamed and Richards screamed back at them, barking orders and trying to take control of the situation.
“Get back to guarding,” Thomas spoke to us both. “Eyes on the horizon.”
To hell with that, instead I watched as the lieutenant retreated to the safety of the gate, but before he did, he noticed my gaze, and walked back to me, coming face to face with me.
“I understand you are acting lance corporal now. Do not dissent, we have a job to do,” he said, and his breath smelled of whiskey.
“Are you drunk sir?” I said, fearlessly.
He stepped forward to
me, coming within an inch of me.
“I am gonna pretend,” he whispered grossly to my face. “You didn't say that.”
He then looked to the others and gestured for them to clean up the body, then raised his voice high for them all to hear.
“The stakes are much higher than you know, pack him up! You can be as gentle as you want, he ain't going to feel it, he's dead, be as harsh as you want, ain't got time for traitors or deserters.”
He gave Thomas a devilish smile as he walked back up, then stopped next to him. “We move,” he said to him in a sadistic, upbeat tone, before making the rest of the trek up. I couldn't believe the audacity, the balls on that short guy to threaten and intimidate a fellow soldier. He was a bully and a murderer.
“Thomas that wasn't right,” Mason said after he’d left.
“I know, but this is orders, this is following the senior officer and commander. We have no other choice.”
“To hell with no other choice, what I just witnessed was fucked up,” he reiterated. I focused my attention on the son of a bitch who killed the boy. That tower guard. He had a choice to kill, he didn't need to, but he did. Without hesitation and without mercy. What horrors had that boy seen, to want to leave this world so blatantly.
“Hey you, Corporal Long, why did you allow that?” I demanded to know.
“Do I really need to explain to you why that happened?” He asked me, sounding hesitant.
“Yes you do, he was one of you, scared and frightened and you killed him? You murdered him! How many others have you killed?” I spoke.
“Blake that's enough! Quiet,” Thomas tried to intervene.
“We can kill one more, back off,” the other corporal threatened me this time.
Hussain turned to face the other squad and held his gun steady. I knew he had my back, always.
“I’m armoured battalion unit son, not some part time schoolboy.”
“I don’t care what fucking battalion you’re from, you’re a coward,” I said.
He sniggered at my comment and then walked away. I wanted to shoot him then and there, but I was no monster like him. Thomas grabbed me angrily and tried to knock some sense into me. I could have started a gunfight then; the consequences be damned.
“We got a disturbance on the fence,” shouted down Jake from the right watchtower.
We all sprang into action.
“Corporal Long, we’ll take it from here,” Thomas informed the other squad leader.
“Hussain, with me, Blake you too,” he said. I was already raring to go.
“Three-man team pushing north overlooking motorway, haven’t reported back, scouting disturbance in the grass, motion sensor triggered,” I heard Jake reporting via radio to HQ at the complex behind us. As we walked inside the camp, a rover swung by, containing the lieutenant and his driver.
“Thomas, I’m going to be overseeing this foray. Half a mile north, across the motorway at the second preliminary fence. Let's roll! I want to see you boys in action.”
We jumped atop the rover and made way to the point of disturbance. The lieutenant played and sung a song about sex being on fire while we drove over the grassy hilly environment. We arrived at the second preliminary fence; each fence was half a mile out from the last. There was the first preliminary fence, the second and then the main fence around camp.
“Ok, let's go!” The lieutenant said.
He then pointed at me. “You stay with me, the rest of you fan out, search the fields.”
Thomas gave me a worried look as he got out. As if to say, watch yourself with him. I knew he was dangerous, he gave orders to kill all deserters. So, what did he do to ordinary citizens?
It was awkward as they left, he just smiled at me, as the radio stopped, as the last of the others left our view, then he spoke to me.
“You got a problem with the way things are being run here private?”
“I thought I was acting lance corporal?” I said calmly.
“The only thing you're acting like a piece of shit. You made a big mistake insulting me like that.”
“I'm not scared of you, you're a bully.”
He didn't respond straight away, probably took him a while to process my comment.
“What are we in? Primary School? I could form a firing squad right here you know, have your buddies take you out.” He let out a crooked, smokers laugh after his threat. I remained silent.
“Sir!” A voice called. It was the driver of the jeep, with Hussain alongside him. “They want entrance.”
I looked over and dismounted the jeep, coming across a pair of men that Hussain and the driver, the lieutenant's man, had detained and walked over to us.
“We have family up north, we need to reach them,” the one said.
“The motorway is blocked off, we need to go north, please,” said the other.
“I'm afraid we can't allow that,” said Richards from atop the rover. Thomas came then, panting as he was out of breath from running across the fields so quickly.
“You heard him,” said Hussain, looking to the pair of men sympathetically.
“You got to let us through. We need to go through,” they said.
“Private, hold them steady, search them,” ordered Richards.
“We're not going back there,” said one of the men.
“Sir get your hands off me,” Hussain said encountering resistance as he searched his pockets.
“No! I know what you did to the others at the gate!” Shouted one of the men, the older one.
“Dad, just leave it!” Screamed the other one. It was a father and a son trying to cross the fence.
“No, Chris!” Protested the father, trying desperately to free himself of the lieutenant's man.
“Alright we’ll do this the hard way,” said Richards, before pulling out his Glock and firing a single shot into the sky. He then pointed the gun at the two civilians.
“Sir he's got a bite!” Shouted the lieutenant's man as he searched the older one.
“Get him on his knees,” ordered Richards. Hussain obliged and held him down, passing the son over to Thomas. Richards dismounted the rover and stared at the pair of intruders. He glanced from the bitten man, to Hussain, then to his gun and then to Hussain again, as if making a decision. He then walked over to Hussain, reloading it, and handing it to Hussain.
“Ok, private, I want you to shoot that man,” he said.
Hussain took the gun on his hand and held it weakly.
“I…” Hussain froze. Richards did a double take at his hesitation.
“You heard me. We got orders to block off this motorway. Needs doing, he's infected with the virus,” he said.
“Dead anyway boss,” Thomas said sadly. I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't believe Thomas was fine with this.
“I can't,” Hussain silently admitted.
“Sorry what?” Richards cupped his ear sarcastically beside him. “What's that? I ordered you to shoot. The fucking. Gun.”
“No please…” The man pleaded for his life as Richards mounted the rover again.
“Don't do this, please!”
“I...erm… Sir I,” Hussain scrambled for words. He was not a killer.
“Do it. Private if you don’t shoot that man I will execute you alongside him!”
Hussain then pointed the gun down to the helpless man, now on his knees after being forced their by the lieutenants man.
“Do it. Do it!!” Shouted Richards, his spit launching from his mouth.
“Shoot him! Shoot him now! Shoot him in the goddamn head!”
Hussain wavered, he couldn't do it, none of us would. An anger grew inside of me as he continued to shout, it manifested itself into a snarl on my face, and began move my limbs on its own.
“Shoot him or I fucking will!!!”
I pulled my sidearm from its holster and aimed it at his head.
“Shoot him now!!!” Screamed Lieutenant Richards.
“Shoot him for god's sake-”
“Blake no!” Shouted Thomas, but as he spoke, I pulled the gentle trigger and watched as the blood sprayed to the ground. I shot Richards in the head. It was a clean shot, and as he slumped down in the armoured vehicle armament, the field fell silent, with only the sobs of the detained men filling the deafening silence.
“Oh my god,” Hussain said, filling the void with his dismay.
“Shit,” I said, realising what I’d done.
“What the fuck have you done?” Richard's man said.
“I, I didn't know what to do, I…” I was now left struggling for words, as the blood spilled down the rover.
Thomas immediately turned and whipped out his sidearm, shooting the man on the ground and carrying out the lieutenants last orders.
“Stop!” I shouted to him, but it was too late.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!? Dad!” Exclaimed the son as he held his dying father.
“Are you crazy Thomas!” Hussain confronted him. Thomas just stared at Hussain with an idle glare, then pointed his pistol toward Richards' man, who froze on the spot.
“Don't move. Stop, what is your name?” Thomas asked him.
“David,” he responded.
“Ok, David… how brave are you?”
“That kids getting away,” Hussain interrupted. I looked and found the son running, galloping away as fast as he could the way they came into the countryside.
“I don't care, let him run,” said Thomas, as he tightened his grip on the pistol facing towards David.
“Answer me,” he said.
“I’m not very brave at all, right now, I’m scared, please put the gun down,” he answered. Thomas nodded. I had never seen him so serious, but so careless with life.
“Thomas this is insane,” I said.
“Insane?” He pointed the gun to me. I raised my chin, stepping to the challenge. He wouldn't shoot me, would he?
“Insane?” He questioned me. “You shot the lieutenant.”
He then pointed it back to David.
“He’ll tell everyone,” he warned. Maybe he wanted to save me by killing David, and pinning the death of the lieutenant on him going crazy? It was a horrible thought, but that was surely his reasoning.
World Down: A Zombie Novel Page 17