by Kenna Bardot
“Frigid bitch?” I winked at him.
“Sure, frigid saved you today.”
And, it was true.
I struggled to ignore the fact that there was someone conspicuously absent.
Maybe Charolais was busy comforting Annalee.
A part of me wished it for her after what she'd been through.
But a part of me, the part I didn't want to acknowledge, hurt from his absence.
✽✽✽
"No, no, don't push that. Let me." Ryle walked over and picked the sofa up easily with one hand, allowing me to quickly sweep under the furniture. He did the same for the other chairs and even the cabinets and shelving. I worked quickly, sweeping the dust that had the habit of collecting underneath heavier furniture.
"Thanks, Ryle. That was fast." I shot him a smile even as I wiped the sweat off my brow.
"No worries, baby." I rolled my eyes at the nickname but let it slide because he was being nice and helpful, which was a pleasant change from the usual arrogant and annoying Ryle.
"Need to do anything else? How about dusting the tops? Do you need me to lift you up again like that one time?"
That moment flashed in my mind. I shuddered but tried to play it casually. "Ah. Are you gonna bury your face in my boobs again?"
He shuffled his feet, and I felt my mouth drop open.
Ryle Karfi, the manliest of men shuffled his feet like an embarrassed teenage boy. The sight of it made me chuckle.
"I won't, Mireyah. It's not something you're comfortable with at all." He sighed, and I could feel how hard the admission was to him.
"What did you all drink or eat in the past week? Seriously? You're not assholes anymore." I laughed, but I wondered if they were setting me up for something.
Yes, I enjoyed how Hollis and Shep made me feel. How Ryle and Tate were really trying their best but waiting on it had me on pins and needles.
"No thanks, though. Just dusted the other day. I appreciate the offer. And the consideration." I walked over and ran a hand down his cheek. "Really, thanks."
Tate walked in, carting a tray. For the second time in barely ten minutes, my mouth dropped open again in complete shock. "Hungry, Tate?"
He looked at me in confusion. "Huh?" He looked down at his tray. "Ah!"
"Oh, this? No, this is for you too. You clean for us so much and do all our shit for us on top of handling your training for the Challenge. Not to mention, this place is practically hostile towards you, you deserve a break."
"Okay, okay." I threw my hands up in a gesture of defeat and laughed even as Ryle steered me towards a chair and pushed me down onto it to sit down. "Look, guys, I appreciate it. And you're all doing great, but I kind of miss my assholes."
"It was assholes who hurt you, Mireyah. So we're trying to be better than that." Tate sobered as he laid the tray on the table in front of me.
"My brother is right. We hurt you, and we made you feel like your thoughts and feelings and opinions don't matter." Ryle walked over and sat next to me. He took my hand, and I let him because I wanted to hear what they had to say.
"You acted like monsters," I admitted with a soft voice. "Monsters who hurt me."
"We don't want to be those monsters anymore. And while we understand that we will not have a complete personality shift, we want to change the way we treat you."
I closed my eyes. "Why?"
"Because you matter to us." Tate blew out a breath, and he looked over my shoulder. "It started out sexual, but it's not anymore. Or at least not just."
"Okay." I turned towards the door where someone knocked rather loudly. "Did you lock the door?"
I stood up and walked towards it. Upon answering, the sight of Annalee greeted me.
"Hi, Annalee." As much as a bitch as she was towards me, I still felt sympathy towards her. A part of me wanted to ask how she was coping.
She sneered at me before pushing against me to enter the room. She spotted Ryle and Tate but said nothing to them.
"Where's Char? He's not in his room, and I haven't seen him in days."
"Perhaps, if you haven't seen him, it means he doesn't want to see you." This was Ryle, who looked annoyed. Probably because she'd disturbed our moment.
"Fine. I'll leave the two of you to fuck the whore." Annalee turned around and stalked to the door.
"I'll let you go for now because Mireyah hates needless violence. But be warned. I don't care if you don't accord me any respect. So what? But you will not speak of Mireyah like she is less. She's worth a hundred of you." Tate walked over and held the door open. "Don't come here again unless Charolais brings you. We will no longer have any need for your services."
Annalee stalked off, and I looked at the twins with a smile.
Somehow, I realized with a start; I had mostly forgiven them.
Chapter 23
Mireyah
I saw less and less of Annalee, but also less of Charolais. I didn't know if he was avoiding me or avoiding his friends for whatever reason, but something about it didn't sit right. I hated that there seemed to be a rift in their bond, a bond that had undoubtedly always been crucial to their lives since the moment they’d met in Godsvail.
I hated feeling like I might be the cause of it even more. I knew what we had was temporary. What else could it be, when I would either die or go to Sylfeshire within a matter of weeks? For them to lose one another over something that wasn't even permanent seemed fundamentally wrong.
I'd spent a great number of nights wrapped up in Hollis and Shephard, enjoying the comfort of the way they protected me in my sleep. I didn't expect too much trouble, not with most of the humans I competed with dead already and Annalee punished for what she'd done to me.
They were wary of me. Scared even.
Ryder was a concern at the front of my mind. It was a constant worry if he would wait until a Challenge to try to sabotage me or if he would get rid of me before I had a chance to win.
I went back to my room to gather a new dress, distracted by my thoughts. I usually tried to be aware of my surroundings, and as soon as Annalee stepped into my path and blocked my room I cursed myself for being so foolish. The good news was that she wasn't much of a threat, not crippled as she'd been by Hollis' declaration that she was no longer favored. Her handy little followers had turned on her instantly, not a single genuine friend in the lot of them.
With her arms crossed over her chest, she stared me down. "I can't believe that they're so stupid to fall for this act you have going on."
"And what act would that be, Annalee?" I smiled, not even threatened in the slightest. We both knew she would make some big statement and then go on her way. She wouldn't risk the wrath of my Descendants just to see me injured. Not again.
I didn't let myself think about the fact that I'd called them mine. I couldn't.
Not yet.
"That you hate the Gods. It's all bullshit. If it wasn't, you wouldn't have gotten all cozy with them so quickly. Never mind whatever in Gods’ name you have going on with the Majele God from the Challenges. Are you fucking him too?"
"Actually, I'm not fucking any of them." I grinned at the way her expression faltered.
"You spend every night in Hollis' bedroom. You really expect me to believe that?"
I sighed, feeling something close to pity for the girl who so desperately wanted approval from beings that couldn't and would never care less about her. "I do, but we don't have sex. We snuggle and sleep. I know it must be hard for you to imagine they could have an interest in me that's something more than sexual, but there it is."
Her face twisted in disgust, but that wasn't a surprise. I'd known she found me distasteful even when she pretended to be kind. "It's your fault, you know. What they let him do to me."
"Hollis told me they didn't tell the Tovenaar to hurt you, so I don't see how that could be my fault." I shrugged, watching as she shifted her weight uncomfortably.
"When a Descendant takes an attendant, the attendant becomes his property
. He or she can't be shared without his or her master’s consent."
Shuffling closer to my door, I moved to step around her. "I'm aware of this. Can we get to the point, please?"
"Char removed his protection. I still clean his rooms, but I never even see him! And he made me free game again. He never would have let that brute touch me if you hadn't demanded it." She poked a finger into my shoulder.
I turned to tell her I'd demanded no such thing, hadn't even known that Char removed his protection and claim to Annalee. But Char's voice interrupted us, "She didn't demand it. I’m not one to take commands from humans. I decided I didn't particularly care who touched you, since I've no intention of ever doing so again." We both stilled, the confession something shocking.
While it wasn't an expression of commitment to me, not like the others had given, I also knew that Annalee had been someone he enjoyed in the past. Enough to claim her as his attendant. Char's hand touched the small of my back when he approached, drawing a clear line in the sand.
"Char-" Annalee begged, moving to sink to her knees in front of us as tears pooled in her eyes. "You don't mean that."
"I do not say things I don't mean, Human," he spat, fingers rubbing a soothing circle into my spine.
"He calls me her name, you know?" Annalee's voice huffed a laugh, making Char go still beside me. "You're so blind to what she is that you can't even see she's fucking him."
I turned horrified eyes up to look at Char, seeing his jaw tense as he glared at Annalee. Those haunting white eyes were like a void, devoid of anything that might resemble humanity. "Has he ever touched you?" he asked, turning his attention back to me.
"Not like that. He expressed interest after the last Challenge, but-"
I didn't finish my train of thought, because Char stomped off down the hallway, his hands curled into fists at his side. Annalee smirked in victory and moved out of my way so I could finally get to my room. I took the reprieve, wondering if Char could really have believed the poison Annalee spewed.
The unfortunate reality was I didn't know.
✽✽✽
"Stop it," I teased on a laugh, swatting at Ryle's shoulder when he moved to lift me again. "I'm doing fine."
"You're stretching. It makes your dress ride up your thighs." Tate smirked knowingly at his twin. "Even if he isn't an ass man, there's only so much one can take when you flaunt yours in his face." I flushed, turning wide eyes down to Ryle who grinned sheepishly.
"Ugh, you're both impossible! I'm cleaning. That has to be the least sexy activity there is." I shook my head, turning back to the shelves in Ryle's room.
Their rooms might not have been my duty, but I also didn't like those moments when I thought about the other humans going through their belongings.
Oddly possessive? Probably. But given the fact that Hollis and Shep had taken to picking up after themselves more to not let me feel like such a servant, I suddenly had a void where previously my days had been crammed full. "Besides, whoever's been cleaning your room has done an abysmal job. Seriously, how have you not noticed all the dust?"
"We've noticed." Tate grimaced, turning around to take in the golden filigree. It was beautiful but the intricate delicacy of the design meant that there were a lot of nooks and crannies where dust and dirt could hide. "Annalee used to clean ours too. We told you, we always treated attendants like property of the five of us."
I sighed, dropping my arms to my side. "And you told her she didn't need to clean your rooms now that you aren't fucking her anymore?" I hated the obvious jealousy to my tone. Hated the indicator of just how much I cared for them. When it would be impossible for me to have them.
At least they didn't tease me over it.
"We never told her she couldn't clean our rooms anymore. She told us she was done," Ryle grumbled out, earning a smack from Tate.
My brow furrowed in response. "Why would she do that? She's a compliant little servant. She'd never go against the Descendants."
Ryle had the grace to look sheepish. "She said you were seeing to our other needs now, so you might as well see to this one."
Tate smirked at me. "She's been difficult. Following Char around and begging him to take her to bed so she can prove her worth again and refusing to clean anything. She seems to think defying us will land her back in our beds, but she doesn't seem to understand that she's doing the exact opposite of what you did."
I tossed the rag to the shelf, flopping down into the center of the couch. "She hasn't been punished?"
"Oh, she has," Ryle laughed. "Char reports her to your boss just about every day, and he has been punishing her. Might not really be doing a thorough job of it, but Char's been clear he can't be bothered to deal with her anymore." Ryle flopped onto the couch so hard I bounced on the cushion with a giggle. The massive man was impossible, somehow oblivious to how much his solid mass of muscle weighed.
"You'll break the couch, you oaf. Then again, it is your room." Tate chuckled, sitting down on my other side more gently and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Even though he was smaller than his twin, he really wasn't that much smaller. They still had that same build, same muscle and height. He just wasn’t quite as packed.
I sighed, contentment washing over me in the face of their playful banter. I wasn’t about to lie and admit that their hands didn’t scare me sometimes because they did. However, as much as I hated what they'd all done to me, there was something to be said for the way they'd let me into their bond with one another. There was a sincerity to how they regarded me, and I felt honored by it and by the friendship.
The five of them were so close, like a brotherhood almost, but with something else that pulsed through the bond. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was, only that it was there, particularly in the way the others looked at Hollis and Tate when they thought I wasn't looking.
I wanted to know, wanted to truly understand their bond, because I knew that was the key to really getting to know these Descendants who had wormed their way into my heart. I didn't want them there, didn't want the hurt that I knew was sure to come from it. But I couldn't deny that they'd started treating me like an equal, like someone they saw as being worthy of being one of them. A sixth to their five.
Somehow it felt like I was the last piece of a bond that could never be complete without me, and that thought was terrifying.
Because it was a lie.
Tate's hand touched my thigh, and I turned to look into those silver. How had I ever thought that silver was so cold when his gaze was so warm?
"Why do you fight it?" he asked, and I knew at that moment that he was reading me. Whether it was a gift of being a Nastroj, I didn't know. All I knew was he was far too observant for his own good. There was no way for me to keep anything from him when he made it his mission to understand me.
"Because it scares me," I admitted on a whisper. "You both scare me."
Ryle sighed on my other side, turning my head to look at him. "I never want you to be scared again. Least of all of us."
I smiled sadly, wanting nothing more than to lose myself in the molten gold of his eyes. "There are so many unknowns. What happens when I go to Sylfeshire? Or I could die in the final challenge. Perhaps it would be better that way.”
"Don't say that." Tate grasped my chin, turning me to face him. Being between the twins was a constant push and pull. "You're not allowed to die, Mireyah."
"Why not? I'll be gone, anyway. And the entire purpose of Sylfeshire is for me to find a God to take me as his wife. We both know that the Majele will be waiting for me."
"You don't have to accept the first offer you receive," Tate explained softly, his hand gently massaging mine. "Most Sylfes are there for years studying and preparing, not even allowed to be in the company of anyone other than their fellow Sylfes. It takes time before the Gods determine that they're ready to begin the competition to Ascend and for those Gods who are interested to compete for them. By then, it's likely that one of us five will have Ascended. Whoever
it is can compete for you."
I wanted to scoff, but something in the way Tate looked at me soothed my frayed bits of self-confidence. His face lowered to mine, and it wasn't until his lips were just a breath away from mine that I realized what he did. As the fog enveloped me and pulled and wrapped around my consciousness.
"You're doing it again," I accused, snapping my head back and out of his hands.
He sighed, hanging his head as the explanation fell from his lips. "I can't seduce you like Hollis can. I just want you to relax. You're so tense, so high strung-"
"Because I constantly have to be on guard that you will turn me against myself. Make me feel things I shouldn't feel!" I argued, standing and ignoring the pleading look Ryle shot my way. "I really thought you'd understood. That you'd learned your lesson, and cared about me in your own way, enough to not hurt me like this again."
"We just want to show you how good it can be. Being with us. Letting us share you," Ryle explained, and I thought it hurt even more that he'd known, been complacent in it again.
I shook my head, darting from the room to hide with Hollis and Shep. Even though I'd made them wait, Hollis hadn't pushed. Hadn't pressed with anything other than the natural manipulation of my body when I lay in bed with the two of them and we kissed. Explored with our hands. None of us ever took off our clothes, never gave in to the lust that was tempting and torturous.
Because it was a test, and it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I’d been doing it. I wanted to see just how far I could push and pull, tease and withhold before they snapped. And it all boiled down to one thing - I couldn't change the fact that I didn't just want to be another woman they conquered.
I wanted to be different.
I just didn't know how.
✽✽✽
A few days passed, and the twins were constantly in my space. Tate made it a point to allow me to feel my emotions as they came naturally whether they were positive or negative.
But a couple days of behaving didn't make up for the gravity of what they’d done. Yes, I’d forgiven Hollis and Shep, but they knew as well as I did that I kept them at arm’s length because a part of me still didn’t quite trust them.