“We can’t just give in!”
“Sometimes giving in is fighting, Jess. We can control it.”
“Dani, stop her,” I said.
“Courtney’s right. We’ll do what they want, but they have to leave you alone.”
“You can’t do that!” I was crying. “This is my fault.”
“It’s my fault for messing around,” Courtney said. “You’re young, it’ll hurt you more.”
“They’ll still hurt you.”
“I can shut my mind down. It’s like I’m not even there. I can fake it.” But she sounded like she was faking it right now, trying to sound brave so I didn’t get scared.
“Then what?” I said. “Even if you do that, they’re not going to let us go.”
We were silent.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The room was almost dark by the time we heard the truck pulling up outside, country music blaring. It went silent, then doors slammed shut. I looked at Dani, fear shooting through my body, squeezing the breath out of my lungs.
“Do you think they’ll kill us?”
“They’d have done it already,” she said, but her eyes were wide, her face frozen as she stared at the door.
Scraping sounds: they were prying the board off. We shuffled closer together, standing in the corner, prepared for an attack. The boys came into the room, Gavin carrying our lantern and a brown paper bag. Brian walked over and dumped some water in the pail. We were all thirsty, but none of us made a move. The boys seemed agitated, their movements jerky and fast, rubbing at their faces, their hair, the smell of beer rolling off them. My legs began to shake.
Dani spoke first. “We know you didn’t mean to hurt us last night—you were just drunk and angry. If you let us go, we won’t tell anyone.”
“Sorry, girls, we can’t do that,” Brian said. He walked back over to Gavin and took the brown bag from him.
“People are looking for us—”
“Bullshit,” he said. “No one gives a crap about you girls.”
Brian knelt in front of me, opened the bag, and took out a sandwich. I smelled peanut butter. He pushed it at my mouth, offering a bite. I looked at Dani. She nodded. I took a bite. I didn’t want to give him any satisfaction, but I was so hungry I couldn’t help chewing it fast, swallowing it down in a big gulp, the peanut butter sticking. He waited, a smile on his face, almost tender, offered another bite. While I chewed, he glanced up at Gavin.
“Feed the other bitches.”
Gavin took another sandwich from the bag and fed Courtney. Her face was angry and I knew she wanted to refuse the food, but we were so hungry. Gavin toyed with her, though, offering a bite, then taking it away at the last second, then giving it again.
“Stop fucking around,” Brian said.
Gavin looked pissed but he didn’t tease Courtney again. He grabbed another sandwich out of the bag with his free hand and fed Dani at the same time.
When they were done, Gavin left and came back with our packsacks. He rummaged through Dani’s, found her purse. He turned it upside down, the contents falling on the floor. He toed through everything, bent over and picked up her wallet, flipped through, stopped, and stared at her driver’s license. I caught my breath.
“Danielle Campbell, huh?”
She didn’t answer. Brian grabbed the wallet from him, stared at the license, then pulled it out and tucked it into his wallet. He rummaged through my packsack next, pulled out my photos, flipped through them.
“Boring as shit, nothing but birds and fucking cows.” He paused, gave a whistle. “Now we’re talking.” He held out the photos so we could see them. “You girls sure are sexy.” They were my shots of Dani and Courtney. He tucked them into his pocket, then ripped the other ones up, dropping the pieces onto the floor and stepping on them. He crouched down and lit the corner of one of them with his lighter, looking at me the whole time, waiting for me to react. I was trying hard not to cry as I watched the photos crumple and burn.
They’re just paper. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter.
He stood back up and reached into my bag again, pulled out my camera. Started fiddling with the buttons, flipped open the back, checking for film.
“Stop it.” The words came out before I could stop them. Stupid, stupid.
Brian paused, stared at me.
“You sure love this camera, don’t you, little sister?”
“Leave it alone. You’ll break it.”
Brian started laughing. Gavin laughed too, though you could tell he didn’t really understand the joke.
I struggled to hold back the tears.
He pointed the camera at us, pretended to take a few shots, making a loud snap, snap noise with his mouth, still laughing.
“Little sister’s worried we’ll break her camera.” He turned to look at Gavin. “We better be real careful with it.”
“Real careful.” Gavin laughed.
Brian held the camera out in front of him, like he was going to hand it to me. My body arched forward, hope zinging through me.
He let go. The camera hit the cement with a crack.
“No!” I yelled. I could already tell the lens was broken.
Brian reached down and picked it up. “We make the rules now, girls.”
“What do you want?” Dani said.
He stared at her, then at Courtney, his gaze lingering as he shoved my camera back in my bag. Gavin put Dani’s stuff back in hers.
“We want what you owe us,” Brian said. “We were nice to you, we helped you, but you haven’t done squat for us.”
“Whatever it is you want, I’ll do it,” Courtney said. “Just leave my sisters alone.”
He broke into a smile. He was gloating, relishing the power he now had over her. “Guess we’ll have to see how good you are.”
“Courtney, no!” I cried out. “Don’t!”
She got to her feet.
“Let’s go,” she said, tears in her voice.
Gavin looked at Brian. “I want her first. You owe me for those tires.”
Brian glared at him but jerked his head in an angry nod.
Gavin grabbed Courtney’s arm tight and led her off.
I called out, “Courtney!” just before she left the room, but she didn’t look back. Dani sucked in her breath. I turned to Brian.
“I hate you! You’re assholes!”
He leaned close. I could smell his breath, beer and cigarettes.
“Yes, we are.”
He turned and looked at Dani. She straightened up and squared her jaw, trying to look tough, but her body was shaking.
Brian walked over and gripped her shirt, pulling her up. He dragged her out the door, closed it behind them.
I shuffled forward, screamed, “Let her go! Please let her go!”
They stopped outside. Dani was talking, her voice fast and frantic. “You don’t have to do this. We won’t tell anybody.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Brian said. The rattle of keys and metal clicking shut—they’d brought a padlock. Sounds of a struggle, a muffled scream, then footsteps walking away.
I sank to my knees, staring hard at the door as if I could see through it, sobbing in big painful gasps that shook my body, my head filled with frantic thoughts. Where were my sisters? Were they going to kill them?
Finally I heard footsteps. I scrambled back to my spot on the wall, straining to hear something, anything, that would tell me if my sisters were okay.
Gavin opened the door and walked in with Courtney, his hand on her upper arm partly holding her up—her wrists were still tied behind her back. In the other he held the lantern. A trickle of blood dripped from her nose and she walked in a painful lurch. One cheek was slapped red, the outline of a handprint still visible.
He pushed her to the floor and she crumpled to one side, shivers going through her body. Her lips were bruised and swollen. I tried to meet her gaze, but her eyes filled with tears and she looked away. Gavin was sweaty, out of breath.
He kn
elt in front of her.
“You keep me satisfied like that and maybe I’ll stay away from little sister.” He reached out and tucked a hair behind her ear.
Brian came through the door, dragging Dani behind. She was walking stiffly, angry red marks around her neck like he’d been gripping hard.
Her face was pale, but her eyes were furious.
“Get them some more water,” Brian said.
I looked up at him. His face was cold, his body language aggressive as he towered over us, but he’d told Gavin to get water. Did he feel bad? I searched his face but I couldn’t see anything other than hatred. I glanced back at my sisters. Dani was also glaring up at him, but Courtney had her head resting against her knees, her body a tight ball.
“Why don’t you get it?” Gavin said.
Brian spun around. “I told you to fucking get them some water.”
Gavin’s face flushed. “Fuck you, Brian.” But he left, coming back with a water jug. He topped up the pail.
“Get them a bucket to shit in,” Brian said.
“Why can’t they just go on the floor?” Gavin said, angry again.
Brian grabbed the front of his shirt. “Just fucking do it!”
Gavin brushed off his hand, his face enraged, but he left and came back this time with a big white plastic pail, dropped it in the corner of the room.
“See you tomorrow, girls,” Brian said.
They gathered up our packsacks and left.
* * *
We sat in the dark—they’d taken the lantern.
“Dani? Courtney?” I whispered.
“I’m okay,” Dani said, but her voice sounded tight and strained.
I could only hear sobs from where Courtney was sitting. I crawled closer to the sound, blind in the dark, leaned my body against hers.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice cracking, tears building in the back of my throat. “We’re going to get out of here.” Courtney only cried harder.
CHAPTER NINE
We spent hours over the next couple of days trying to undo our ties. We kicked the wall and door, scrabbled at them with our fingers. We paced the room or slumped on the floor, our bodies slick with sweat, staring up at the gap trying to breathe in fresh air that the heat would just steal right back out of our lungs.
At night they’d return, force-feed us peanut butter sandwiches, and sometimes strawberries or pieces of apple. They never untied us. Gavin looked impatient, but Brian seemed to like feeding us, his expression fascinated as if we were a science project. When we were done, they’d take Courtney and Dani away. They traded girls the second night, then back again the next. They each had a lantern now but they never left one in the room, leaving me in the dark. They both also carried rifles, which they used to prod my sisters to their feet, then out of the room. Making them walk to their fate. We were starving, but we never spoke of food. We barely spoke at all. Courtney, her hair matted and tangled, one cheek mottled shades of blue and purple, was silent most of the day, then, as the night came on, she’d start crying so hard she couldn’t get her breath. I tried to sing to her once, tried to remember the words to her favorite song, but she shouted at me.
“Shut up, Jess. Just shut up.”
I cried too, but silently, my face turned away, until she crawled close to me and rested her head on my shoulder.
Dani just stared at the wall, her face a hard angry mask.
Before Brian and Gavin led them out of the room, they liked to taunt them, taunt me. “Remember, girls, you keep working hard and we’ll leave little sister alone.”
I hated what they were doing, hated that they were torturing them because of me. The third night I’d snapped.
“Just take me!”
Brian laughed. “You’ll get your turn.”
The next night they came a little earlier with a plastic kid’s pool and dumped a bunch of water jugs into it. I panicked, thinking they were going to drown us. Courtney and Dani looked terrified too, but then the boys undid our ties. We stretched our arms. My shoulders ached, the muscles tight. I looked at my wrist, the scraped skin and bruises, wondered if I’d get an infection.
“Clean yourselves up, you’re starting to stink,” Brian said.
They watched, rifles perched on their knees, as Courtney and Dani took their clothes off. We’d undressed many times in front of each other, but I looked away. I heard them climb into the pool, the sound of plastic creaking and shifting as they stepped in, quick inhales as they immersed their bodies in the cold water.
Brian pointed the gun at me. “You too, little sister.”
“Screw you,” I said, but I couldn’t help but look longingly at the water.
“Just do what he says!” Dani shouted.
I looked at her and gasped at the bruises on her body. The bite marks across her chest. Courtney was also covered in bruises and bites.
Gavin stepped closer to Dani, pulling her hair back until her neck was exposed, and pressed the barrel of his rifle against a spot behind her ear.
“Better listen to your sister.”
I stood up and took my clothes off, hands shaking, staring at the floor. I couldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at my sisters.
Brian whistled. “Look what you’ve been hiding.”
I was crying, big gasps of fear. I went over to the bath and eased down into the cold water, my arms wrapped around my knees, trying to hide my chest.
They gave us soap and shampoo, dumped cold water over our heads to rinse us off. The soap stung my wrists, but I soaked them in the cold water, hoped it was flushing out the wounds. One of them kept a gun pointed at us at all times.
“Get out,” Brian said.
We stood, shivering. Courtney and Dani didn’t even bother trying to hide their bodies, but I tucked myself behind them. Gavin tossed us some towels.
We dried off, then they handed us some fresh clothes, summer dresses in floral patterns. They looked used, the fabric worn and faded. New underwear—no bras. They bundled our old stuff up.
They had a bag of makeup, said they wanted us to dress up for them. We did each other’s makeup, our hands shaky. They surveyed our work.
“More lipstick,” Brian said. We reapplied.
Gavin pointed to Dani. “Fluff your hair up, like around your shoulders.” She ran her hands through it. “Yeah, like that.”
He handed us beers. “Don’t know why you had to be such stuck-up bitches. We could’ve had a lot of fun.”
We sipped at our beers. I was scared they’d drugged it or poisoned it, but the cold liquid felt good. They also gave us sandwiches, which we wolfed down, keeping our eyes on the boys, waiting for the next step.
They brought in a portable stereo, put on some country music.
Gavin clapped his hands, kicked the ground a couple of times with his boots. “Let’s dance.” We stared at them.
“Why aren’t you dancing?” Brian said.
We danced, and they joined in, twirling us around like we were at a barnyard dance. I could feel my sisters’ anger simmering off of them, though none of us said a word. Our hands were finally untied, but while one brother danced, the other sat with the gun pointed at us.
It was hard to keep dancing. Dani and Courtney faltered and I stumbled, which earned me a slap on the butt from Brian. “Wake up!”
The boys tired of the game and started taunting us, picking on Courtney and me. “What’s your real names?”
“I’m Sara—she’s Melissa.” Courtney pointed at me.
“You’re lying,” Gavin said. “You were lying as soon as we saw you in that busted-down truck.”
Brian started laughing. “Almost got it fixed up.” Dani looked at him. “Think I might just keep it. Take the plates off, throw a slap of paint on it. Make for a real nice souvenir.”
Souvenir.
I wondered how much longer they planned on keeping us alive.
Brian circled closer to me. “Your sister said you just turned fifteen.”
/> I tried to think which one had told him.
Brian was still talking. “But I think they’re lying about that too. That’s no fifteen-year-old’s body.”
He stood behind me, his breath on my neck. He lifted my hair, nuzzled my neck, grabbed me, and pulled me back. I cried out.
My sisters came toward me. Gavin stepped in with a gun. “Stay back.”
“Leave her alone,” Dani said.
“She’s just a kid,” Courtney said. “You can do whatever you want to me again—whatever you want. Just let her go.”
He reached around, cupped one of my breasts, gripping it hard. I elbowed him in the stomach, kicked back with my foot.
“You little brat!” He grabbed me around the waist and started to drag me out of the room.
Dani and Courtney were screaming, “No! Leave her alone!”
Then I heard the sickening smack of metal hitting flesh.
“I’ll shoot your sister, bitch!” Gavin’s voice.
I looked back over my shoulder, frantic. Gavin had the gun pointed at Courtney. Dani was on the floor, holding the side of her face.
Brian had me out the door. I fought hard, pushing back with all my strength, but his arm was wrapped tight around my body. Was he going to kill me? Crazed with fear, I didn’t care. I didn’t want to find out what he was going to do. I remembered the sounds from Dani and Courtney as they tried to clean themselves, their moans at night when they tried to sleep, their crying in the dark.
Brian hauled me down a short hallway, then through an open door. He had the rifle tucked under his other armpit, his hand gripping the lantern, which was swinging and casting strange shadows. I looked around, searching for an escape, something to save me. We were in a warehouse, looked like the roof was a few feet higher than our room, with exposed rafters and aluminum sheeting. Clear plastic poly covered the triangle at the top of the walls at both ends of the building. Wooden crates were stacked all over in haphazard towers, a conveyor belt came out of the side of the building. The air smelled of rotting fruit. A rat scurried away from us. Brian startled, then muttered, “Fucking thing.”
He took me to a room that broke off from the main one. An old cash register sat on a wooden counter, empty shelves lining the wall. A mattress lay in the center, a faded blue blanket tossed over it. I could see spots of reddish brown.
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