It was only fair, Dane had bared his pain to her. Ren steeled herself with a deep breath.
"My dad passed ten years ago...my mother is...not fit." Her jaw tightened as she thought of the abuse—verbal, physical, emotional. It was a long time ago, but the anger still lay close to her heart. "She was difficult before dad died, but afterwards..." She stopped, shook her head.
Anita Maddock had been a tough mother, to begin with. Declan had always complimented her in their relationship, softening the blows of her own childhood lacking in love. She was uncompromising and demanding, but it had always seemed like it was out of love, and a desire to see the girls succeed. After her father had passed, Ren's mother had gone off the deep end. Her daughters were all she had left of him and instead of cherishing them because of it, she blamed them for her loss. Ren had gone headfirst down a flight of stairs at her mother's hands at least once. She'd stayed far longer than made any sense because she felt Kerri needed her mother. She'd put off college and moving into her own place so she could be the buffer between Kerri and Anita the way her father had been for her. She'd given up trying to understand why Anita hated them so much, and conceded instead to a life as a protector.
It was when she had caught her mother with Kerri locked in the garage, the door closed and the car running, that she had taken her sister and never looked back.
First, they'd moved to the other side of town, but Anita had followed them. Progressively, the distances had gotten longer and longer until Ren had finally packed everything up and said a prayer the Jimmy would make it on the 12 hour trip cross country. A couple hours outside of Three Rivers, she'd stopped for a local map and chosen the town from a handful of other small municipalities. They had no connections here, no reason to be here, no reason for Anita to suspect they were here.
Dane didn't press any further when Ren stopped talking. He set his beer aside, reached across the couch and drew her into his side with one arm.
Ren stiffened at first but the second she felt the warm closeness of his strong body, she relaxed, melted into his side, and rested her head on his chest. He ran his calloused fingers over her hair. She felt like she could relax, and stop the nagging fire of fear in her gut for just a minute. It felt like nothing could happen to her in his strong arms.
I'm in a different kind of trouble, now.
*
Dane wanted to kiss her. So badly he ached. He remembered the pain of loss he had experienced, saw the same kind of pain, and fear in her eyes. They weren't so different. They had both experienced loss, and they both had to deal with the trauma the best way they knew how. His best way had gotten easier today.
This certainly wasn't the first time it had crossed his mind how much easier life would be with a woman of the house. With the ranch and Gage keeping him occupied, his opportunities to expand his social circle had become limited. He'd always thought he would have lots of time to settle down, but the accident had changed the course of his life in a way he would have never predicted. Now he had little time to develop any kind of relationship, that is, if a woman wasn't scared off by the ready-made family to begin with. He'd grown up with most of the women who still resided in Three Rivers and while many of them made a big show of how sexy a man with a kid was, when it came down to the nitty gritty, nobody wanted to be the mother of a child who wasn't theirs.
Right now, he was holding a woman who didn't seem scared of much, least of all a five year old boy and his uncle. Sure, she was his employee, but already he could see the tender way she interacted with Gage. She had more ease with the boy right off the bat than he could have wished for. If he couldn't have his mother, Ren seemed like she could be the next best thing.
She rested quietly, her breathing soft and even. He thought she may even have dozed off. It was comfortable, and they sat that way for some time, his thumb tracing gentle circles on her exposed bicep as he considered the twists and turns that had brought him to this juncture in his life, hiring a woman to play the role of someone he had been unsuccessful in finding the traditional way.
He'd always been a good uncle. He'd been busy learning the business side of the ranch when Gage was born and he'd lived vicariously through the little family. Gavin was made for fatherhood. The jury was still out on Dane, but he was trying his best.
He'd taken his role seriously when the accident happened, though the whole family had been pitching in since. Many times, Ella had offered to take Gage to live with them in town but there had been so much change for the child that Dane couldn't bear to make him leave the place he had grown up in. Who was he to disrupt the memories Gage might still cling to of his mother and father teaching him to ride, packing him in front of the saddle when they checked cattle, and gathering around the dining room table in this very house? The truth was, this new role was difficult. He was still Uncle Dane but he was also now in a position of fatherhood in addition to all of the roles he played before, and the balance was a challenge.
He heard thumping coming down the stairs and Ren jerked upright, leaping away from him as though she'd been shocked, and nearly spilling her beer. So she wasn't asleep after all. Kerri's head poked around the door frame, taking in the scene with a bemused expression. The girl was young but she wasn't an idiot.
"Do you know where the charger for my mp3 player is?" she asked Ren.
The older sister jumped to her feet just a little too quick, setting her beer on the side table and turning to Dane.
"I think I'm just going to head up for bed now, anyways...thanks for the beer and...conversation."
She scampered away and up the stairs, leaving Dane still reclined on the couch, his arm across the back where she had been sitting. He watched her shapely figure disappear up the stairs and his eyes lingered there for a moment longer.
As her employer, he knew he had to tamp down the feelings and urges he had about this girl, but as a man, he was struggling. Had he made a mistake hiring her? Probably. Would it look bad from the outside? Most likely. Did he care? Hell no.
—EIGHT—
Dane stood in the doorway between the kitchen and hallway quietly, entertained by watching Ren. She'd opened the cupboard to the left of the sink twice, clearly looking for something, but this time, she stopped, as if taking inventory of what was inside and committing it to memory. The house was large and entirely foreign to her; he couldn't blame her—he forgot where things were half the time.
After watching her struggle for a second more—she was so damn cute doing it and he didn't mind the view when she stood on her tiptoes to peer into the higher cupboards—he cleared his throat and entered the kitchen.
"Whatcha looking for?"
She looked a little embarrassed and turned, offering him a bewildered smile.
"Cheese grater?"
He reached past her, second cupboard to the left, passing so close the space between them shared their breaths, and produced the grater, one corner of his lips turned up in a mischievous grin.
"Lucky guess," he said.
She ducked her eyes for a moment but then met his again with a full-watt smile and his heart soared. The woman was attractive, he would give her that, but she also had a way of making him feel like the most important person on the planet when she cast her smile at him.
"I'm just trying to figure out the lay of the land. It's a big house."
He chuckled; she was right. The house felt particularly large and lonely when he was up after Gage went to bed. It was accustomed to being full-to-overflowing but the most action it usually saw these days was two Sundays a month, when everyone came over and Ella cooked a big meal while they caught up on anything that had been neglected for want of a few extra pairs of hands.
"That's the truth. You'll get used to it eventually." He took a step back, pushed his hands into his pockets for fear he'd reach out and touch the girl. He'd been thinking about the feel of her soft body against his as it had relaxed into his touch two nights ago. Not constantly, but every once in a while, when he wasn't paying attention, she'
d cross his mind. She'd been here all of two days but that was all the time it had taken for him to know she was the kind of girl he could probably hold for a lifetime.
Her appealing feminine form wasn't the only thing he could appreciate and she'd made that abundantly clear over the last couple of days. She was endlessly patient and kind with Gage, encompassing a maternal quality he wouldn't have expected in a childless woman of her age. Already, she had forged a great relationship with him, and she guided Kerri as if it was her second nature to parent a teenager. She could make just about any meal with any type of ingredients and for not having had a rural upbringing, she wasn't afraid of the fresh produce and meat Ella had delivered for them. In fact, he wasn't sure she was afraid of anything, least of all, hard work. Just this morning, he had caught her on her knees in his mother's long-abandoned and grown over garden, pulling weeds while Kerri listened to music on the porch and Gage played with the dog in the yard. She'd already made herself completely indispensable. He hadn't known how badly he needed someone like Ren in the house until she'd actually gotten there and shown him what he'd been missing for the last two years.
He wanted to know everything about her, from the finite details of what had happened with her mother, to her favorite color, right down to the noises she would make when he pressed his lips to the soft flesh of her throat.
In order to stop himself from finding out all of those things right now, he crossed the floor and pulled open the fridge, making a face at the contents.
"Looks like we need a grocery run. I've got to drop Gage off at mama's for his weekly sleepover… how about you, Kerri and I run into town?"
She pursed her lips like she had to think about it.
"I'm fine to run into town alone. I'm sure you're too busy to babysit me." When he arched a skeptical brow at her, she conceded. "… but if you have to go in anyways...I just don't want to be a bother."
"It's no bother, trust me."
*
Twenty minutes later, Ren found herself in the front seat of Dane's pickup, Kerri and Gage buckled in safely behind. Gage chattered happily to Kerri, telling her about how he ran Grandma's store in return for supper and a sleepover once a week.
"So what do they sell there?" Kerri asked from the back seat.
Dane met her eyes in the rear view mirror. "Everything from a ladies' fart to a clap of thunder."
Ren turned to catch the absurd expression on Kerri's face and laughed out loud. They were both still figuring out the interesting, and oftentimes amusing local dialect. Kerri struggled a bit more though.
They stopped briefly at Baylor's store, Ella waving at Ren and Kerri from the front door as Gage skipped from the truck to his grandma. A five minute drive past the store brought them to Three Rivers' one independently owned grocery store.
The three disembarked from the truck and Dane gestured to the diner next door to the shop. A crowd of young people were congregated outside.
"They make a mean milkshake, Kerri, if you're not interested in groceries. Might be nice to meet some new faces?" The teen skipped off with a word of thanks and a five dollar bill from Ren, leaving her alone with Dane at the entrance of Sawyer's Grocery. He stepped ahead of her and pulled a shopping cart from the row, pushing it into the store.
Ren had scrawled a list on a sticky note and followed beside the cart, pulling items off of shelves and out of coolers as they moved slowly up and down each aisle so she could figure out where everything was.
"Eventually I'll know where everything is, but I'll still go up and down every aisle when I'm just here for a carton of eggs." Ren laughed.
"No, the eggs you'll get from the Pierces. You'll be here for cheese. We don't have a neighbor who makes that yet." To illustrate his point, Dane stopped and put a block of cheddar cheese into the cart—it hadn't been on Ren's list.
"Ah, gotcha." She made a mental note to figure out where the Pierces lived and pulled her list out to cross eggs off of it.
They continued down the aisles, taking their time—the banter between them was comfortable and easy.
Dane was a popular man. Just about everybody who passed by them stopped to say hello and was just as pleased to see Ren as they were to see him. Everyone knew he'd been raising Gage and were pleased to see he'd gotten some help. The Baylors were obviously well respected within the community and Dane was friendly, asking after grandkids and jobs. Ren had never had that kind of connection within a neighborhood and it made her heart ache a little bit.
As they made their way through the bakery, a short, white haired woman in a motor scooter nearly ran Ren over. Dane saw her coming and tugged Ren briefly to him, out of the line of fire. The woman's face lit up at the sight of Dane. He shot a good humored smile at Ren, murmuring, "Watch this."
"Dane Baylor! You grow taller every time I see you!" The woman flashed a smile at Dane that was full of adoration.
"I think you're just getting shorter, Mrs. Bates." He teased, his tone affectionate.
"And this, is this your new bride I have been hearing so much about?" The woman grasped Ren's hand. Ren smiled and patted the woman's hand lightly, completely confused. Her stomach did a flip-flop. This was either something bad or she was either the butt of a cruel joke.
"Oh Mrs. Bates… this is Ren Maddock, she works for me."
"I heard it was a beautiful wedding! I bet you've got a bun in the oven already. Have to catch up to Gavin. I've got to get going, Henry is waiting for me!"
Dane watched her go with an amused expression on his face. Ren shook her head at Mrs. Bates' back, flabbergasted at the way the woman had bowled the pair of them over.
"Have you been telling the locals you mail-ordered a bride?" she teased, recovering quickly.
"Mrs. Bates… I've known her my whole life and then some. She confuses me for Finn on a regular basis… she's done it ever since we were kids."
"Wait," Ren stopped, narrowing her eyes at Dane. Finn had sat at her dinner table the last two nights, but on his own. "Finn is married? Or is that completely imagined?"
"Was." Dane cleared his throat, continuing to push the cart through bakery without making eye contact. "Finn and Sunny were married all of six months when she was diagnosed with cancer. It went quick. That was about a year ago."
A curse escaped under Ren's breath. It was no wonder this family was so close. Two devastating strikes in the last two years, and those were just the ones he had disclosed to her. Who knew what else had happened—for all she knew, Dane was a widower, too. It put her issues into perspective—what business did she have complaining about her mother's presence in her life? At least she and Kerri were both still alive.
"I'm so sorry, Dane."
He shook his head, pushed the cart ahead and plucked a bag of Doritos off the shelf.
"Bad things happen to good people. It's part of the journey. Gotta be there to get here."
She considered his words.
"That's a good way to look at it."
"It's the only way to look at it if you wanna make it through."
The rest of the shopping trip passed in general silence, but Ren had a deeper appreciation for the man who walked beside her. Not only did they have to deal with the grief of loss in their family, they regularly had well-meaning neighbors who couldn't keep things straight and dredged up the pain without intending to.
As they exited Sawyer's, grocery bags in hand, Ren caught sight of Kerri outside the restaurant. She was leaning against a wall with her back turned and a tall, gangly teen aged boy stood beside her, the pair of them peering down at her cell phone. Neither heard Ren and Dane approaching.
"And when you get home, go to the bathroom and lift your shirt and send me a picture of your tits…"
Ren stopped short, seeing red. She reached for the boy but Dane got there first, dropping his bag of groceries and clamping a hand on the boy's shoulder to turn him around and get a look at his face.
"Kyle Sullivan, I know your mama didn't teach you it was okay to talk t
o ladies like that."
The boy's eyes widened when he saw Dane's furious face. Dane pushed the kid a couple of steps back, hand still tight on his shoulder, until he was pressed against the brick wall of the restaurant. He wasn't overly rough but there was no give in his eyes. His voice was firm, his gaze pinning the boy's.
"You're gonna leave this girl alone. She's gonna take your number right out of her phone and you're not going to get any pictures of her, or of any other girl...'cause you're not going to ask any girls for that kind of thing again."
Kerri's eyes remained rapt on the scene unfolding as Kyle nodded, giving Ren an opportunity to pull the phone from her sister's hand and hit the delete button on the contact she had been keying in. Kerri still hadn't moved when Ren put the phone back into her hand, but a bright blush had run up her fair cheeks and her eyes had filled with embarrassing tears. Ren put her arm around her sister's shoulders and squeezed reassuringly.
Though Kyle clearly didn't feel he should have to, a sullen apology crossed his lips.
"I'm sorry, Dane."
"Don't you think you should be telling Kerri, here, that you're sorry for disrespecting her?" Dane didn't hesitate to correct the boy.
"I'm sorry for disrespecting you, Kerri." The boy didn't lift his eyes to either of the recipients of his apology, and shuffled back to a crowd of young people who had gathered to watch the altercation. Some of them jeered at Kyle for being schooled by an 'old guy', others slapped him on the back in congratulations.
Dane glared at the group and then turned, putting a hand on Kerri's shoulder as he picked up his discarded grocery bags and guided the Maddock girls away from the diner.
"That kid is bad news, Kerri. I'm sorry," he said as the trio returned to Dane's pick-up. "I'll take you down to one of the rodeo nights sometime and introduce you to some good people."
Kerri shrugged, her strides matching theirs. The flush was still in her cheeks and her eyes were downcast. "It's okay."
It occurred to Ren, as she watched her sister, that she just expected people to treat her poorly. In truth, Ren had felt the same way for much of her adolescence. Being taken advantage of was normal and sincerity was rare and appreciated.
Runaway Heart Page 4