Dane considered his response before speaking. Easier in that he wasn't constantly wondering what Gage was getting into because he knew the boy was safe with a woman who cared for the child as though he was her own? Absolutely. Easier in terms of being able to focus on the ranch and not on the sweet, independent, thoughtful woman who was living in his house, and all the naughty things he'd like to do to her? Definitely not. And it was only worse now that he'd tasted her, tipped her over the edge and seen the expression of pure bliss as she'd found release.
Though he'd never been one to kiss and tell, Dane knew his brother wanted to know what happened after he and Ren left the dance floor so abruptly. Eighty percent of Three Rivers probably wanted to know. He hadn't intended to make such a show and it hadn't been right by any stretch of the imagination, but damnit, it felt right. And he deserved to have something good in his life.
"It is. Gage just loves her."
The safe bet. He should have known he'd find himself on the business end of an interrogation coming out here with Finn. Noah had been called into town to work the shop and he knew better than to leave Finn alone to ride fence—Dane would never have heard the end of it. He had a feeling he wasn't going to hear the end of it about the dance hall last night, either. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
"I'm not sure he's the only one." Finn teased, reining in his horse and dismounting fluidly for a piece of fence that needed tightened. His horse snatched a mouthful of grass and stood by patiently.
"Shut up or you'll be walking back."
Dane wished he could have protected whatever it was that had been building with Ren, but they had thrown that idea into the wind when he couldn't keep his hands off of her on the dance floor.
"I guess that means you won't take too kindly to me asking her out." Finn shot his brother a smirk. The Baylor brothers had shared many things over their lifetimes, but women were one of the things they had made a solemn pact not to.
Dane couldn't say he didn't wish things were a little different, that he didn't want Ren for himself so badly. Finn barely had time to come to terms with the diagnosis before they were laying Sunny in the ground. To hear him even tease about asking a girl out was the most interest he'd shown in a woman since he'd lost her. But here, Dane was going to be selfish. Ren was for him, nobody else, not even his grieving brother.
When his brother didn't answer immediately, Finn laughed. "That's all the answer I needed."
He finished twisting wires together and swung a leg over his horse's back, remounting with ease. Though all of the Baylor brothers had a way with horses, Finn was the one who looked like he was born to sit astride. He had a way of taking the most difficult horse and turning it into a soft, malleable partner. The pair turned a pretty good profit starting young colts but Finn also had a lucrative sideline working with those horses that were labeled as impossible, dangerous and worthless. In fact, the horse he rode now had come to the ranch not worth the steel nails his shoes were held on with. A couple of weeks with Finn Baylor had turned Jet into a formidable ranch horse with a strong bond to his trainer-turned-owner.
"That's the last one." Dane further avoided the questions about Ren and reined his horse around, aiming for the barns.
They rode back down to the homestead in relative silence, the only conversation that was safe for Dane was about the work that needed done on the ranch in the coming days. Despite Noah's help over the last couple of days, there were things that just didn't get done when the boss wasn't around, and they were behind. They weren't going to get any farther ahead with Ren stalking his thoughts, either. She was reluctant, she needed time—he had told her as much, and she hadn't argued. But he needed something more.
At the barn, he dismissed Finn and unsaddled the horses on his own, stewing in his own thoughts for far longer than was appropriate. The quiet chewing of the horses in their stalls should have soothed him but it just made space for more brooding.
When he finally made it into the house, he found Ren at the stove, working on dinner. He spotted Kerri and Gage in the living room reading together on his way to the bathroom to scrub up. He couldn't help but think how nice it was to come in at the end of the day to a warm, fragrant house filled with bodies he was happy to see.
After stopping to give Gage a hair ruffle and thank Kerri for taking the time to read to him, he emerged into the kitchen. He might have been imagining it but he noticed Ren stiffen a bit when he came into the room. She had been quiet and withdrawn at breakfast but he assumed it was the hangover. He leaned against the counter in much the same way he had when he had proposed they head to the dance hall. Oh how things had changed since that day. For him, anyways.
He'd known he wanted her from the first time he'd seen her, but after what transpired between them in the parking lot...well, it was like an addiction. He spent all day thinking about when he might get his next fix.
She carefully angled her face away from him as she worked away, keeping her eyes down. He frowned. She had been a welcoming, warm, soft relief last night, and now she almost cringed as he shifted, getting imperceptibly closer to her. He backed off a step, giving her some space.
*
Ren was relieved when Dane stepped back. A four foot radius was too close. She felt like she was barely hanging onto the threads of everything she had here— Kerri, this job, her sanity… and his proximity made it so much harder to remember why she was trying to keep control over all of those things in the first place.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yes..."
"This is about last night, isn't it?"
She let out a long breath, paused from peeling her potatoes and looked up at him.
"We made a mistake. There's nothing to talk about, Dane," she said, wishing she were anywhere but there.
"That...that was no mistake, Ren." The intent in his voice made her insides tremble, thinking of the way his fingers had brushed over her flesh and elicited fire.
She couldn't respond.
He sighed, shifted again, closer to her. The part of her that normally made good judgment calls seemed to be malfunctioning with him so close. She knew she should look away, take a step back. Defiantly, she didn't break the eye contact.
"I don't make mistakes like that."
"We were drinking." She could feel her argument losing steam before she even said it.
"I knew what I was doing and did it because I wanted to. Did you?"
She realized the implications of her words. He inched closer, so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body, read the expression in his eyes that told her he was sincere.
"Yes."
"So we were both consenting adults."
"Yes."
"Then what's going on here, Ren?"
"I just don't think any good can come of this." She looked over her shoulder uneasily as she heard one of the kids turn on the television in the other room. "You're my boss."
"I know."
"So...we do this...whatever 'this' is. Something happens down the road and we have a fight and I'm out of a job—one of the only two good things I have going on in my life right now."
She swept her eyes over his body regretfully.
"And my life is complicated, Dane. You're better off if your only involvement is to sign my paychecks."
"If you want me to leave you alone, have nothing to do with you but signing your checks...just say the word. If that's what you really want, I won't bother you anymore." He reached across the minuscule space between them and cupped her jaw in his big hand, lifting her eyes to meet his. This time, she didn't move away, relishing his touch. She closed her eyes briefly and swallowed, knowing what would come next, welcoming it. Her belly quivered at his closeness and she let out a long, heated breath.
She'd recited the script she'd been rehearsing in her mind since she'd gotten up this morning, every word, and no matter how well rehearsed it was, he hadn't bought it. She wasn't sure she even believed it anymore.
"I d
on't want that." There. She'd said it. The words hung in the air between them only a moment before his mouth closed over hers, stopping any further discussion, and she went warm and soft in his arms, pushing closer to him as she surrendered. He turned her back to the counter, pinning her body lightly with his. Before she knew what she was doing, Ren snaked an arm around his neck, cupping the base of his neck, drawing him nearer, her free hand resting on his hip. Her body wanted his, it was a magnetism she had no control over.
For a moment, she forgot about her fears, the kids in the next room, and all of her arguments about why this couldn't work. His closeness, the heat radiating from him - it was all-consuming. He slid his hand down her spine, lifting the hem of her shirt to rest his fingertips lightly against the bare skin of the small of her back and it was like a direct hit of adrenaline. Her mind fast-tracked back twenty-four hours to the tailgate of his truck and she let a soft sound into his mouth, pushing herself against him. Her brain might have told her what dangerous territory she was treading into but her body didn't care.
The feel of his lips against hers was addictive, and Ren didn't want to give up the drugs. As quickly as it started, it was over. Dane lifted his head, took a step back, and slid a hand down over her hair, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. That devastating half-smile tipped one corner of his lips as he took one last, long look at her, and then headed into the living room to gather up Kerri and Gage as if nothing had happened at all.
"Time to set the table, guys."
Ren watched his back for a moment, unmoving. The man did things to her insides she'd never felt before and right now, she was reeling. Sure, the brief flirtations and one-night stands of her life before Kerri had satisfied a physical need, but not only did Dane awaken the desire in her, he also triggered the mechanism that made her feel safe. She was wary of that mechanism, though—it had steered her into dangerous complacency before. She was determined not to go down that road again.
—FOURTEEN—
Dane kept his eyes trained on the little roan colt from Reicher as the horse circled him in the round pen. This time, he wore a saddle; his training had progressed considerably since that fateful day Gage had tumbled from the corral fence, and a few days later, Ren and Kerri had arrived in his life. Finally, he could focus all of his attention on the horse he had dubbed Tank. The colt was built like a brick shithouse, broad body and short legs, but powerful.
Breathing a sigh of relief he didn't have to worry about where Gage was and what he was getting into, Dane sent the colt out in another circle around him. He knew his nephew was safe and happy, in the house or in the orchard with the girls, being nurtured in a way that really only a maternal figure could provide. It was the first time since he'd become his nephew's primary caretaker that he felt like he might have had an iota of control over his life, and was doing a half decent job of it… but he knew he couldn't have done any of it without Ren there. Hell, even Kerri did a great job keeping Gage occupied. While it certainly took away from the quantity of time Gage was hanging onto Dane and Finn's shirttails, he had to say it increased the quality of time he spent with his nephew. For once, he felt like he had his head above water when it came to being the child's guardian… and all it had taken was this woman.
Try as he might, he couldn't beg, bribe or bully her out of his mind. She occupied just about every spare second he wasn't thinking about something ranch related, and then she often found her way into those thoughts, too. When he thought about this latest string of horses they had in for training, he thought about how well matched Ren would look astride the leggy gray filly he had been working. When he was riding fence thinking about calving season, he thought of her sitting across the table at four am with a cup of hot coffee and a sleepy smile. In truth, there wasn't a single thought that was safe.
When he considered the long term, he saw Ren there. It was early to have these thoughts, but he understood now what Gavin meant when he'd told Dane 'when you know, you know' as the brothers had sat him down for a chat about his short engagement to June. They'd all thought him crazy and fanciful, and way too young to saddle himself to one woman for the rest of his life, but the youngest Baylor brother had displayed a clarity and assurance that Dane was beginning to understand, just a little.
Oh, she would need time. It was clear she didn't completely trust him or their life here at the ranch yet, but she would. He could help her, and failing that, he could be patient. Though he didn't know the extent of them yet, he knew she had demons dogging her, and he would fight those for her, too. There wasn't a single thing he wouldn't do for her.
Finally, Dane stopped pushing Tank and the colt slowed to a walk, coming in to make a connection with him, just as he had been trained. He put his hand out and stroked the colt's nose lightly before moving to check the saddle and make sure it was secure. He hooked a rope to the horse's halter and turned his head toward him as he put a foot in the stirrup and bore a bit of weight on it. The colt looked at him, clearly processing this next step in the pair's journey together as in one smooth motion, Dane swung his leg over Tank's back and settled himself in the saddle for the first time.
The colt relaxed with a long sigh and Dane stroked his neck reassuringly. Clucking, he urged him forward and he complied, breaking into a lazy trot around the round pen. This was the type of first ride Dane liked—a smart horse added together all of the training and had a sensible head when it came time for it. He'd sat on a few bronc blow outs but he preferred quiet and easy, just like this. Finn was game for a lot more explosive behavior, which was why he was so exceptional with troubled horses. At Dane's age, he didn't bounce quite so well anymore and anytime he could avoid getting hurt and not being able to work the ranch as effectively as he liked, he would.
He reined Tank in the other direction and completed a couple of circles that way, smiling as the horse followed his guidance. A good brain like this one could be of use around the ranch. He gave the verbal cue for a stop as he noticed a feminine figure leaning against the rail of the round pen, watching him.
*
Ren had been observing for a couple of minutes, completely enthralled by the ease and patience with which Dane worked the horse. She remembered seeing him with the colt when she'd first arrived and she would never have guessed the horse would become quiet and relaxed as Dane so trustingly swung aboard.
While watching him with the horse calmed her spirit, her mind kept volleying over the events of the last couple of days. She couldn't figure out what it was he wanted out of all of this. Hell, she didn't know what she dared to want out of it. She had never allowed herself to want anything. Anita took everything from her, at one point or another.
Though the attraction between them was undeniable, she couldn't help but think about the what ifs...what if she made a home in Three Rivers, got comfortable, and then Dane changed his mind? She would have to start all over again. She'd have to find new work, uproot Kerri once again. And those were the devastating consequences if her mother never found them. Adding that potential threat made everything else that much worse.
She could want this, she knew. She probably already did if she let herself think about it for any amount of time. Wanting it was half of the battle. Dane wanted her, it could be as easy as saying yes, but it had been a long time since she'd put her heart on the line like this.
She watched him dismount, stroke the horse's neck lightly and then head toward her.
"How does he look?"
"He looks great… but I wouldn't know any different if he looked awful." Truth was, she hadn't paid much attention to the colt. It was the man who commanded all of her attention. This patient, giving, gentle man. He handled his young horses in much the same way he handled his nephew: providing him the opportunity to do the right thing and gently guiding him when he made the wrong decision.
Dane flashed her a smile that made her heart swell six sizes.
"Oh, you'll learn."
He moved toward the gate and she instinctively
opened it.
"You missed dinner, but I kept you a plate. Kerri is reading to Gage, I think they're just about done in for the day." She fell into step beside him as they made their way toward the horse barn, Tank moseying along beside Dane with his head down on the other side.
"Have I mentioned how much I appreciate you? If you weren't here, I'd still be trying to wrangle Gage inside for a microwave dinner, and then we'd fall asleep in front of the TV."
Ren smiled, shrugged. They walked in silence for a moment until their fingers brushed together and she startled a little, tucking her hands into her pockets.
"He likes the structure. I like the family."
"Me too."
Dane led Tank into his stall, where the horse immediately buried his face in a pile of hay. Dane deftly undid the saddle fittings and slid it off of his back, exiting the stall to deposit it on a nearby rack.
"I don't know how you do it." Ren settled herself on a nearby bale of hay as Dane hung up a manure fork and checked each of the stalls for hay and clean water.
"Do what?" He slid in and out of a stall with a flake of hay for Roxy.
"These horses come in here wild as the wind. And then you turn them into soft little puppy dogs." She nodded toward Tank, who had lifted his head to watch for a moment. The horse had been scared and maybe a little defiant from what Ren could tell when she had first arrived but now the colt's eyes tracked Dane's every move with interest and intelligence.
He settled on the bale of hay next to her, so close their arms brushed, and shrugged.
"You start easy…show them they have nothing to be afraid of, that you're not gonna let them get hurt. Instead of forcing them into your way of thinking, you ask them to do stuff so that it's their idea. If they don't get it right the first time, you ask again. Until they answer it right. And then you end every session on a good note, so they can feel good about themselves. And you never do let 'em get hurt."
Ren swallowed heavily as Dane moved, reaching to cup her jaw. He brushed his thumb across her cheekbone. His eyes asked but her heart was racing too quickly for her to answer. He tipped her chin up and brought his mouth down over hers. She opened to him almost immediately, shifting closer in response.
Runaway Heart Page 7