She could tell she had ruffled Dane's feathers, could almost see him bristling. She felt bad but after last night, she knew they were about to cross a line they couldn't uncross and she wanted to make sure he had considered every option. At the same time, it might have been her last ditch effort to protect herself before she gave her heart up completely to this man.
"To hell with what other people think."
"I agree." Ren hadn't noticed Finn come out of the house until he spoke. He walked out onto the porch and Dane made no move to let her go—in fact, tightened his grip on her again.
"Oh hell, he knows too?" Ren rolled her eyes. "Am I the only person who still thinks this is a secret?"
"Relax, he never came out and said it in so many words." Finn took off his hat and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Well, he did tell me I couldn't ask you on a date. But that could have been a 'no fraternizing in the workplace' policy reminder."
Ren looked at Dane, who shrugged, and still made no move to get out of the rocker.
"You two are thick as thieves. You'd have to be a blind man not to see that something is going on beyond raising that little boy—which you're doing a hell of a job with, by the way."
"You didn't come out here to commend our parenting skills, Finn," Dane said.
"No, I came out here to see where the hell you were, the cattle are starving." Finn laughed. "But...I also overheard some of your conversation and I just wanna say that life is way too short not to spend it with someone who makes you happy. And to be proud of that. Take them out and show them off. And to hell with what anyone thinks, as long as you're happy.
"There were a lot of things Sunny and I did when she was sick that made a lot of people talk. They didn't think a girl as sick as she was should be out and about like she was. Truth is, people get all hung up on the 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' in life and they forget to actually live that life—and by the time they realize it, it's too late.
"So maybe a sick girl shouldn't barrel race or Dane shouldn't be canoodling with his homemaker, but if it's what you feel in your heart and it makes you happy, then that's exactly what you should do."
Ren hadn't noticed but while his brother had been speaking, Dane had tightened his hold on her so much she could barely breathe. He had snugged her up tight against his torso and she could almost feel his heart beating.
Finn put his hat back on and scuffed the sole of his boot against the porch. "I know it's none of my business, and I don't know much about how to fix people's problems, but this is something I know way too well. You don't get to do it over, so do it right the first time, and to hell with what everyone else thinks."
The last sentence he directed at Dane, and Ren could feel the emotion between the brothers. They had clearly seen one another through a lot.
Carefully, Ren extricated herself from Dane's arms and rose, wrapping her arms around Finn. He hesitated a moment and then hugged her back. She kissed his cheek, let him go, and hoped all her gratitude had been apparent in her hug.
—TWENTY-ONE—
Dane finished in the barn, passing the kids riding their bikes in the yard. Gage was getting the best mileage he could out of his arm since his cast had been removed that very morning, and it made Dane smile. He watched Kerri stop to send a text message on her cell phone while Gage steered jubilant circles around her.
He took the steps into the house two at a time, eager to have a minute alone with Ren in the daylight. With Ella and Finn in the know, they'd all but announced their situation to his family but they were still working out how to tell the kids, so they were still strictly boss and employee when it came to Gage and Kerri.
Ren was at the kitchen sink, slicing strawberries into a colander and keeping a close eye on the kids through the window overlooking the yard. He slipped his arms around her waist from behind and drew her close to him, pressing a light kiss to her neck.
"You know, when school starts next month, Kerri isn't going to have as much time for Gage...I'm glad things happened this way, so they have some time to spend together and build a good relationship." She spoke with a smile, tipping her head to permit Dane better access to her flesh but not taking her eyes off of the children.
"Well, Gage will be starting up, too, so he'll be making new friends...and that will give us a little more time to ourselves." Dane punctuated his words with soft kisses along her shoulder. He felt her shift back against him almost imperceptibly and noted that while she still held a paring knife and strawberry in hand, she had stopped slicing. He smiled, pleased at the reactions he could draw from her.
A week had passed since Finn had found him all wrapped up in Ren on the front porch. Finn had never been a particularly eloquent man but he seemed to know what he was talking about and it did something for Ren's feelings that Dane hadn't been able to figure out. She seemed freer, somehow.
Eventually, they would go public but for now, he was enjoying the little bubble they had to themselves, learning the nuances of one another's personalities and bodies. She hadn't slept in her bed all week. Oh, she always convinced Kerri she was going to bed in her own room but he'd hear her creeping down the stairs not ten minutes later. He'd pull back the sheets, open his arms, and not let go of her until his alarm woke them. She'd get up and go back up the stairs to her bed, to emerge a couple of hours later to wake the kids.
They were careful during the day, managing to steal kisses, touches, and desire- fueled looks that culminated when they finally came together at night. The days seemed that much longer when he couldn't get the taste or feel of her out of his mind. Soon, he would tell Gage that Ren wasn't just his nanny.
"So...what do you say about a date?" He spoke against the soft spot behind her ear, his hands sliding just inside of the hem of her shirt to touch her warm skin.
Ren raised an eyebrow and craned her neck to look at him.
"A date, eh? How do you propose we manage that one?"
He smiled, gave her a little squeeze.
"I was just thinking we could pack a lunch and ride up to check a few fences in the South pasture."
"And what would we do with Kerri and Gage?"
He looked over her shoulder out at the kids, resting his chin there, his cheek pressed against hers and shrugged a little.
"We'll set them up in front of a movie with snacks. Kerri's old enough to mind Gage for a couple of hours and Finn is only a couple hundred feet away in the guest house if anything happens."
When she didn't immediately respond, he gave her another encouraging squeeze.
"Come on, this is your boss telling you to take an afternoon off. With me. They'll be fine. They won't even notice we're gone."
Finally, a smile spread over her features as she warmed to the idea.
"You go saddle up and I'll fix a couple of sandwiches."
*
Ren worked quickly, pulling together a pretty impressive cold lunch for their picnic and ushering the kids into the living room in front of one of the latest animated hits with a bowl full of popcorn and a promise that they wouldn't be long.
"I'm just going to help your uncle Dane with the stock," she promised Gage, who gave her a big hug. She kissed him amiably on top of the head. The truth was this child had weaseled his way into her heart with very little effort at all. It was difficult, at times, not to imagine them as one big family.
"We'll probably even be back before the movie is over." Ren straightened, ruffled Kerri's hair playfully. The teen had her nose stuck in her phone, sending another text message. "Ker. The boy in front of you, not the one in the phone." She tipped her head, raising the best stern eyebrow she could muster. "If you need anything, you know Uncle Finn is just down the yard, and his number is right by the phone, okay?"
Both nodded dutifully but Kerri was still focused on tapping words into the screen of her phone and Gage had already started double fisting the popcorn as the opening credits of the movie began to roll.
"Be good. Love yous."
She headed f
or the barn with Dane's saddle bags packed full of sandwiches and fruit and a bottle of wine to find him with Maverick all tacked up and Roxy just about ready. He smiled when he saw her, took the saddle bags away from her, swinging them over his shoulder and tucked his fingers into her belt loops. He pulled her to him for a brief, tight moment, pressing a firm kiss to her lips.
"Kids all settled?"
She nodded, thinking of Gage's excitement to be left with Kerri. She was, after all, old enough to babysit, and Gage so enjoyed spending time with her.
"Movie was started, popcorn was being consumed. We have at least a couple hours before they send the search party out looking for us."
Ren couldn't help the giddy flip-flop of excitement in her stomach as Dane released her and she watched him tie the saddlebags onto Maverick. This was almost thrilling—a broad expanse of time stretching out ahead of them where they could do nothing but focus on one another. They led the horses out of the barn and Dane gave her a leg up onto Roxy's back, patting her backside as she went. She gave him a mockingly indignant look. It was almost as though they were a normal, everyday couple.
Clearly picking up that it was a leisurely ride, not one with any real intent for work, Roxy and Maverick ambled along side by side, close enough that Dane could reach out and take Ren's hand as they headed for the upper pasture. He entwined his fingers through hers.
"I was thinking…"
"That's never a good sign." She teased, giving his hand a squeeze, her heart full to bursting. The day was warm, the sun high. A soft breeze stirred the nearly grown hay fields to their left. And the man riding beside her was as delighted to spend an afternoon with her as she was with him.
"Do you suppose we should invite my folks over for dinner?"
She raised a brow.
"You know your family is welcome for dinner anytime… you just have to give me a heads up so I can make enough food to feed everyone."
His pointed look made her realize she wasn't quite on the right track.
"I meant we host them. Together. Give them a heads up about what's going on. Tell Gage and Kerri..." He chuckled, gave her hand another squeeze. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable… but I think we shouldn't have to hide this, anymore."
Though she yearned to be able to go to town with him, rest her head on his shoulder in his pick-up truck, hold his hand in public, the nagging voice inside of her that said she'd just be hurting him a little farther down the road piped up, insistent. That voice had been quiet for days now—since Finn's inspiring speech, so she was surprised to hear it pop up.
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Wouldn't have mentioned it if I wasn't."
"Dane…you know this situation is…complicated. Once we go public, we can't undo this. When we tell Gage we're a family...if things go under, it's going to hurt him. I don't doubt you for even a second but my mother..."
"Wouldn't Three Rivers be a good place to make a final stand against your mama? With the whole Baylor clan backing you up?"
She swallowed, considering his words. If she knew it would be that easy, she would buy it, hook, line and sinker. But it couldn't be that easy. Anita was relentless. She would set up camp in Three Rivers. She would not stop until she destroyed their lives. She would hurt the Baylors because that would hurt Ren.
Ren knew that while she was strong enough to pack all of her things and spirit away in the night, force a smile for Kerri and tell her everything was okay, work whatever job she had to to help them get by, she didn't have the strength to live in the same town as the woman who had tried to kill her sister. And she didn't have the strength to stand up to her mother in a battle for legal custody of Kerri.
When it came down to the truth, she was afraid of her mother.
"You didn't ask for that. You asked for a homemaker to help with Gage, not a damaged girl with mommy issues who you would need to protect."
"I know you've been doing this on your own for a long time, sugar. But it doesn't mean you're any less strong if you have a little help."
Ren didn't respond immediately. It wasn't that she didn't want the help. It was that she had always felt like this was her own cross to bear.
"I asked for help with Gage. And look what it brought me." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Ask mama, I didn't want any help in the beginning, either."
She softened a little.
"Maybe I'll never have to employ the Baylor backup."
"I bet you never will."
Just then, the cell phone in Ren's back pocket buzzed. She released Dane's hand to take Roxy's reins in the opposite one and pulled the phone out, her heart thudding, concerned it was Kerri reporting another broken arm for Gage. She didn't recognize the number on the screen but answered anyways.
"Hello?"
Silence.
Frowning, Ren looked again at the number on the screen.
"Hello? I think you have the wrong number." It was quiet, but she could tell there was someone on the other end of the line, they just weren't saying anything. "Goodbye."
Dane gave her a questioning look but she shrugged and stuffed the phone back into her pocket.
"I shouldn't have even answered it if it wasn't Kerri. Sorry, I think it's so rude when people answer their cell phones on a date." She shook her head apologetically but Dane shrugged it off.
"Don't worry about it."
They rounded the pasture trail and found themselves approaching a huge live oak in the middle of the field.
Dane dismounted and tied off Maverick's reins so he could graze, and then helped Ren off of Roxy and untying the saddle bags. They made their way under the shade of the tree and spread out a blanket Ren had brought along, sprawling out and pulling out the cold food she had packed for them.
*
Sometime later, with their bellies full, Dane reclined with his back against the trunk of the tree. He patted his leg and Ren rested on her back with her head in his lap, her hair spread out across the denim of his jeans like a halo of fire. He put his fingers into it and smiled, resting his other hand lightly on her abdomen. He could have stayed this way for hours, days even. She had no idea how she quieted his soul. She broke the silence, smiling up at him.
"So tell me how it is that Three Rivers' most eligible bachelor is… well, still a bachelor."
He considered the question carefully.
"Just got so busy with the ranch… I knew it would be mine one day and I figured there was always time. Then the accident happened and all of a sudden, I had twice as much on my plate as before and there wasn't time." He supposed it was why he had seized this opportunity with Ren.
"I think it was good of you to take on Gage. I know your parents would have gladly stepped in."
"I know, but Gavin named me in the will. It was the very least I could do."
"The least you could do is pretty damn good." She covered his hand on her midsection with her own, lacing her fingers through his.
"Sometimes I don't think so. Especially before you got here. When he broke his arm, it was a pretty low point." He chuckled now, thinking of it. "It's a lot more complicated than Gavin made it look and I used to spend about three quarters of my day worrying that somebody would realize I didn't have a goddamn clue what I was doing."
"Well, I happen to think you were doing just fine when I got here." Lifting her hand to rest on the back of his neck, she shifted herself up to meet his lips for a kiss. He supported her, drawing her up so he held her against his chest, smiling against her mouth.
"I'm doing so much better now."
He took her mouth then, without apology or hesitation, drawing her flush against him. His hands burrowed under the hem of her shirt, goosebumps rising under his calloused fingertips as he stroked the silky flesh at the small of her back. She tasted like sunshine and goodness and she felt even better. It was hard to remember now what life had felt like before she had rumbled up the dusty driveway of the ranch in that beat up Jimmy.
Ren made a soft
noise against his mouth as he shifted her into his lap, straddling his waist without breaking the kiss. She cupped his stubble-dusted jaw lightly before curling her fingers into his hair and pulled back to look him in the eye with a playfully accusatory expression.
"Dane Baylor, did you bring me out into the middle of nowhere to have your way with me?"
"I'll never tell. But if that's where this is goin'…"
Ren threw her head back and laughed, and Dane joined in. It was relieving to be so free with her for what felt like the first time, without being behind closed doors. He pushed up out of his seated position and rolled her onto her back on the blanket, finding the ticklish spot on her ribs when her shirt rode up. Burying his face in her neck, his stubble scraped her and made her wriggle more. Her laugh was the best sound he'd heard in a long time, and their conversation about her mother on the ride up felt a million miles away.
—TWENTY-TWO—
Ren lost track of the time they spent beneath the oak laughing, loving, and learning more of the intricacies of one another, and by the time they got ready to ride down off the hill, the sun had begun to head West. While Dane loaded the saddlebags onto Maverick, she shot a quick text off to let Kerri know they were on their way back and slid her phone into her pocket without a second thought.
She halfway expected to find Gage in the dooryard on his bike, but it was eerily quiet. As they dismounted, Dane took Roxy's reins and gave Ren a squeeze.
"Why don't you go tell the kids to wash up and we'll go into town for dinner. They're probably starving, and I know I sure worked up an appetite."
"Alright." Giving Roxy a pat on the neck, she headed for the house. As soon as she pushed the front door open, Ren could sense something was wrong. The house was huge, sure, but there was never this stillness to the air with a five and fifteen year old inside. Rex had been restlessly pacing on the porch and he followed her into the house, now, whining.
"What's the matter, buddy?" She ruffled the dog's ears lightly and he whined again in response. "Gage? Kerri?"
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