"A mother can want those things, but you haven't been a real mother in a very long time."
"You aren't her mother, either."
These were the words that finally stung Ren. Every part of her life for the last four years had revolved around keeping Kerri safe, providing for her, and raising her into the young woman she'd become so proud of.
"That's true." It wouldn't make any difference to argue this point with Anita, because she could go down a road bearing the burden of proof and neither one of them would enjoy visiting parent teacher meetings filled with excuses, a whole week's wages spent on clothes Kerri would only outgrow a couple of months later, 'the talk' about her sister's changing body and recurring nightmares of cars and garages for two years. They were things that, at 20, Ren had been as ill prepared to handle as Kerri was to experience them. "But these days, the donation of nine months in the womb doesn't necessarily make you a mother anymore."
Despite the difficulty of the last four years, Ren had never felt any bitterness about having to care for Kerri—just for the way Anita had damaged the young girl's psyche. It was hard not to release the anger rising in her throat as her mother attempted to claim the role Ren had played for so long.
"We could have a better life, Ren. I could be a mother, a real one. There's money...fifty thousand. Your daddy left it in your name for when you turned twenty five. We could get that money and be a family again." Anita's emotional words barely concealed her desperate tone. "I just wanted to bring us together...I could get Kerri and then I knew you would come."
It took Ren more than a moment to digest the words she'd heard. Discerning the root of the matter—there was money and Anita wanted it—was a much easier task than processing the fact that her father had thought of her and left the money without ever telling her. It was a one-two punch; the rage for the way her mother had shattered her peace here in Three Rivers and keening grief at the mention of her father's desire to take care of her long after his death.
Her stomach roiling, Ren held no illusions that her mother's desire to have the money that was rightfully hers was so they could be a family again. The cosmetic enhancements to Anita's face she'd noticed were only the beginning. It might be as easy to fall into the fairy tale with Anita as it was to fall into the one she'd submitted to with Dane, but the end result for this one would be disastrous. No amount of money could repair their broken family unit. There wasn't a single ray of hope to salvage it.
She wished she could feel sorry for the woman her mother had become, but Ren could only be grateful she'd made the right choice to take Kerri from her in the first place. She hoped she would be able to keep her, protect her from the clearly unstable monstrosity before her.
Had her father known how things would go after he died? Briefly, she wallowed in a long wave of grief, missing him more than she ever had. The Ren who had arrived in Three Rivers mere months ago, having struggled for the last four years would have taken the money and run. She could put a lot of distance between them with fifty thousand dollars, but now that she'd tasted happiness as a part of the Baylor family, she knew she would never be happy. Above all, her father's wish was for her to be happy, and even in death, he could provide that. With the money, maybe she could stand and fight for what she wanted out of life for once. It was a strange thought. Thank you, Daddy. I love you.
"So that's why you came all this way, now. To take what daddy left for me?" When she put it to words, it enraged her. She wanted to leap across the table and strangle the woman who offered her best impression of a sad smile to the daughter she had been taking from her entire life.
"I don't want to take it from you, I want us to have it."
Tempering her words carefully, Ren rose.
"You won't have it. And you won't have Kerri. I can promise you that. I'm done giving to you with no return. I have a life here and I'm done running. You can't take any of this away from me." She wanted to believe everything she was saying the same way she wanted so badly to believe Dane when he'd held her through the night and told her things would work out in their favor but she was quaking on the inside.
Anita's face abruptly changed from benevolent matriarch to screaming banshee, pounding her cuffed fists against the tabletop.
"You stupid spoiled bitch! Declan gave you everything, everything. There was nothing left for me! I deserve this for putting up with you, you ungrateful, needy little whore." Rage darkened Anita's features. "I saw that house. You're already going to have everything you want, you filthy slut! All you do is take from men and you leave nothing for other women!"
It took everything Ren had to maintain her composure as she backed away from the table, reluctant to turn her back on the viper that had once been her mother. Deputy Collins took a step forward, touching Ren's arm lightly.
"Mrs. Maddock, that's quite enough." His voice was authoritative and firm, but Anita kept screeching, incoherent now. At the door, Ren turned and took one final look at the woman. She had no idea how she was going to fulfill the promise she had made to her mother, but she knew she had to try.
—TWENTY-SIX—
By the time Ren got back to the ranch, the sun had set. She'd called ahead to let Dane know she would be too late to put the kids to bed. He hadn't been pleased, but recognizing that her biggest threat was sitting in the cell at the sheriff's department must have made things a little easier for him to swallow, because he didn't argue.
It was pushing ten o'clock and she'd burned half a tank of gas driving every road inside of the Three Rivers town limits. The driving brought her comfort; some of her best thinking happened when she had nothing better to do than guide the Jimmy around the curves of the road, the windows open with fresh air filtering through.
When she pulled into the yard of the Baylor ranch, she had developed a plan. She would stand and fight, but if she could not defeat her mother legally, she would take the money and run. She couldn't let Kerri fall back into her mother's care. They would change their names, forge new identities, skip the country if they had to. It would hurt like hell to leave Dane here, and she knew the last thing her daddy would want her to do was run, but she couldn't see any other choice and she didn't want to bring any more pain to the Baylor family. They would try with the lawyer, with child protective services, and if they couldn't make those venues work, she would steal away in the night like she had so many times before. Protecting her heart would take a backseat to protecting her sister.
Most of the lights in the house were out as she crept in. There was a foil-wrapped plate with a note from Ella on the kitchen counter but Ren wasn't hungry. She moved through the house as quietly as she could, up the stairs to peer inside Kerri's bedroom door. She was in bed, asleep, with her nightstand lamp still turned on. Satisfied she was in one piece, she softly closed the door and moved through her bedroom to access the back stairwell. Both Gage and Dane's doors were partially opened and a dim light came from Dane's. She opted to poke her head inside of Gage's door to ensure his presence, and satisfied, turned for Dane's bedroom.
He was stretched out on the bed on his stomach, on top of the blankets. He still had his jeans and the bedside light on, like he hadn't planned on falling asleep, but the last couple of days had been long and exhausting for all of the residents of the Baylor home.
Ren took a couple of moments to drink him in, all sinewy, sun-kissed natural muscle and masculinity. She thought of what it would take away from her to have to leave him now. She'd broken her own rules and now she might have to pay the consequences.
She crossed the floor and crawled across the bed to press her lips to the base of his neck at the bottom of his hairline. It wasn't until she touched him that he stirred, rolled onto his side so he could face her and lifted his arm to usher her into his embrace.
"Hey. How'd it go?" He gave her a sleepy lopsided smile that made her heart clench and she reached down and cupped his jaw, drawing her mouth to his without any words.
Dane was slow to respond but game, dr
opping a hand to her hip and shuffling her closer across the bed without breaking the kiss. Ren sat up and shifted, straddling his waist. Urgently, and hands trembling, she pulled her shirt off over her head. She met his mouth for a brief, crushing kiss and then tipped back to get her fingers at the belt buckle which had left an impression on his bare abdomen.
"Hey." Dane covered her frantic hands with his. His still sleep-clouded eyes met hers and stilled the panic in her heart. Careful to move her with him, he shifted into a sitting position and took her hands in his, turning them over and kissing each palm gently, then dropping them to his shoulders. He framed her hips with his hands for just a moment, and then slid them over her skin to loosen the clasp of her bra.
Slowly, he drew the straps down her shoulders and discarded the lacy undergarment. His eyes had not left hers the whole time and he brushed the back of his knuckles over her cheekbone, then slid his fingers underneath her hair, against her neck. Ren was acutely aware of the goosebumps rising on her skin and her blood rushing in her ears. Emotionally, she had settled but his soft touch had her body quaking with anticipation.
*
Dane brought her close, brushing his lips over hers, feather-light. His teeth grazed her lower lip and she opened to him, sweet and giving. What a marvel it was that this woman who had already had so much taken from her still had anything to give, especially to him. It was a blessing he didn't deserve.
There was an urgency in her tonight. She was scared, he could tell. He cursed himself for letting her go to the Sheriff's office alone today, but she had been insistent and she could be stubborn. Then she'd come in here, all wild eyed like an unhandled filly and he realized how scared he'd been, himself, for the last few days. Though the words hadn't crossed her lips, he was all too aware that her first instinct in the face of this kind of trouble was to run, and he couldn't live with that option.
He kissed her long and deep, giving more than he took. His words weren't enough to make her believe she was safe here; maybe he could express it in his touch. No matter what happened, she had a home here, with Kerri, or, God forbid, without. With him. With Gage. God knew these two particular Baylor men needed her as badly as anybody.
She shifted back again to work at the belt buckle and he let her this time, stroking her back lightly as he watched the rise and fall of her chest, the pulse throbbing at the base of her throat, the way a stubborn twist of auburn hair tumbled into her eyes as she focused. He was overwhelmed by the small details.
"You're so damn beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?"
She looked up and the answer in her eyes near broke his heart. He took the curve of her jaw in his hand and drew her down for another kiss. She laughed with surprise as he rolled her onto her back and hovered above her before he made his way down her body, littering a trail of kisses over her porcelain skin. Didn't seem to matter how much sun she got here at the ranch, the only evidence of it were new freckles on her nose and shoulders.
"Let me show you." He deftly unbuttoned her jeans and slipped them off over her hips. The lacy panties slid down her thighs with the same achingly slow pace, and he was amused to find they matched the bra he'd discarded—he had been pretty sure that only happened on first dates and the pages of lingerie magazines. He didn't figure it mattered all that much since his favorite place to see them was on the floor.
Making the trek from her knee to the apex of her thighs with his mouth, he paused for just a breath before sliding his tongue along the luscious flesh of her core. She sat straight up, her eyes wide.
Dane looked up, meeting her eyes. "It's okay, sugar."
His hand on her stomach guided her to lie back on the bed again. He could feel her trembling breaths move through her body as he took another tentative taste of her. This time, she let loose a moan that told him she had no idea how sweet this could be. He couldn't wait to see the way her brow furrowed when she came, soaring high on ecstasy.
*
Ren could feel herself unraveling at her very seams. Sure she'd had lovers, but never like this. Dane took his time, worshiping her body in a way she'd never known, as if it was the greatest gift he'd ever gotten.
She pressed her head back against the pillow as his tongue took a third, then fourth swipe across the most sensitive part of her. She'd grown accustomed to slow building, monumentally cresting orgasms that left her completely useless at the end, and this one was rushing toward her like a stampede. Though she'd been a little embarrassed when he'd started, she pushed her hips up into him as she felt the pressure building under his tongue, striving to meet that runaway train of pleasure head on. Her fingers curled in his hair, against his scalp as she writhed under his attentions.
"Dane!" It was coming on too fast, and he reached up to gather one of her hands in his, never wavering from his mission. She sobbed aloud when she finally reached the point of collision, coming hard and fast and wholly unprepared.
He moved up her, the hard planes of his body sliding against the soft curves of hers. The friction sent a frisson of pleasure through her nerve endings which were already on high alert. Gliding her hands along the ridges of muscle on his abdomen, she circled around to his back and held him tight to her. The feel of his body against hers was something she'd never get tired of and she never wanted to have to let go. She could feel their hearts thudding in sync and thought for a moment this was exactly how things were meant to be.
Dane's devious mouth found her throat, his teeth nicking where his lips followed to soothe, and with her head dropped back, her body still trembling from her orgasm, he fit their bodies together in the most intimate way. A soft gasp let loose from her lips as he seated himself deep inside of her. Her fingers curled into the flesh of his shoulders and she let out a shaky breath.
"You okay?" He tipped his head back to catch her eye.
"Yes." Her voice was breathy, barely a whimper. She wanted it so badly she could taste it. "Please, Dane." She lifted her hips, shameless. If this was the last time they ever came together like this, she was going to make it count.
She could read a half a dozen emotions in his eyes but then he tucked his face against her neck and started moving, every single shift of his body sending a wash of pleasure through her. All too soon, she felt the familiar rise of ecstasy as he guided her toward her second orgasm.
He had clearly sensed her urgency. His movements were fast and tight, and soon he tensed.
"Shit." He rasped out, his lips against her throat.
She slid her hands down his sides to his ass, pressing him to her. Ren had no intention to back down now.
"Just let go, Dane."
—TWENTY-SEVEN—
Dane held her afterward, his fingertips tracing light circles on her damp skin. She rested quietly with her head on his shoulder and one hand on his chest, her breathing soft and even but her eyes were wide open. Her mind was clearly elsewhere, and he knew he could blame her meeting with her mother today for that. He felt her swallow, and then again and when he looked down, she had tears in the corners of her eyes. Her hands were clenched into fists against his chest.
"Sugar, what's wrong?" He craned his neck to plant a kiss on the top of her head and ran a hand down her arm gently.
She sniffed, shook her head, dismissing the tears. How many times had she actually allowed herself to let go to grief and stress in the last four years? Their life on the road had been hard, and even in the months she had been here, he'd seen her put on a brave face plenty of times when anyone else would have shed at least a couple of tears.
He reached down and tipped her chin up so they could make eye contact.
"That was incredible, but it definitely wasn't worthy of tears. Spit it out."
She was silent a moment longer, collecting her thoughts.
"What if this doesn't work? I mean...what if they grant Anita custody? I can't live with that."
Frowning, Dane brushed a tear off of her cheek and her hair away from her face. Now that she'd opened up to talk, the
tears flowed freely and she sniffed heavily, her nose filling up. Her vulnerability was a rare sight but he cherished every ounce of it just the same as all the other parts of her he'd seen over the last few months.
"You know that's not going to happen."
"I wish I could just trust that you can make everything happen the way I want it to, but I can't—not because I don't trust you but because I know life doesn't work that way. Not for me."
He paused, considered her words—she was right. He never imagined he'd be blindsided with Gavin's death and this whole other aspect to his life, but fate had a way of helping things work out in ways you couldn't imagine in the beginning.
"You've been taking excellent care of Kerri for four years, Ren. Nobody in their right mind is going to take her away from you and release her to your mother."
Ren made a strangled noise that just about broke his heart.
"But Banks was right. Four years ago, I did pretty much exactly what Anita did this week. What's the difference? With no documentation of her abuse, there isn't anything that makes me any better for Kerri than her."
"There is so." Dane squeezed her tight to his chest and pressed a reassuring kiss to her forehead. "There is this. This family, this home. A steady and dependable income, a nuclear structure. Anita can't offer that."
When she didn't reply, he tried again, his heart thudding like it would burst clean out of his chest.
"I love you, Ren. I know you might not be ready for that. Jesus, I might not be ready for that, but you belong with me. You and Kerri. I knew it the second you walked through my door." There. He'd put it out there for God and the world to hear and if she wasn't picking up what he was laying down, he would wait her out until she did. "And I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you stay here."
*
Dane's words silenced Ren. Flattered and heartbroken at the same time, she resisted the urge to sob right out loud and pressed her face against his chest. How was it that it was so much harder to be strong when there was someone else willing to bear the burden, even in part?
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