Chapter 3
John
The hissing sound lets me know the coffee is ready. I grab it and pour myself a cup when I hear giggling coming from the stairs. Turning my head to see who is coming down, I see it’s Noah and two girls. They both lean up, kissing his cheek good-bye. He stands by the door and waves at both of them, then walks into the kitchen wearing just his shorts.
“Morning, sunshine.” He smiles as he grabs a coffee cup, pouring himself a cup, and takes a couple of sips without adding milk. “I’m drained. Literally.” I shake my head as he sits down. “It’s not my fault you bailed on her. The poor girl was in tears.”
I pinch my eyebrows together. “Tears, my ass.”
“I bought her for you to get the penis up and running.” He places the cup on the table. “And what do you do? You push her away. You pushed away guaranteed pussy. Do you know how much work I had to do last night? Let’s not even get into how I had to continuously tell them that you weren’t gay.” He takes another sip. “Dude, it was fucking harsh.”
“I saw Dani,” I tell him as I sit down. “She was at the party.”
“Oh, Jesus. And?” he asks as he taps his fingers on the table. I don’t get a chance to answer because Austin comes down the stairs with his laptop in hand.
“Morning,” he says as he drops his laptop on the table and goes to pour himself coffee.
I look back at Noah. “Nothing. She looked beautiful, angelic. She was surprised to see me there,” I tell him.
“Of course, she was.” Noah slaps his hand down on the table. “She was probably on the prowl, and you must have cramped her style.” Austin sits down and opens his computer, typing away while I look back at Noah. “She came there to put a curse on your dick,” he says, drinking while Austin looks over at him.
“I need your credit card number,” Austin asks Noah.
Crossing his arms over his bare chest, he asks, “Why?”
“Why?” Austin starts and then raises his voice. “Why? Why?” he yells. “Because all night, you kept me up with the banging.” He points at Noah who grins. “I thought the fucking headboard was going to go through the wall, so I’m ordering padding for the back of it.”
“Hey.” He throws his hands up. “It was a rough night, and the snake is drained. It actually crawled into his cave and decided no more pussy today”—he shrugs his shoulders—“or tomorrow. Those two were greedy bitches.”
I look at him. “You’re disgusting. You know that, right?”
“Depends on who you ask, but if you ask Mandy and …” His voice trails off as he starts snapping his fingers. “Barbara, no, not that, Brenda, no, not that either. I know her name, it’s on the tip of my …”
“Dick,” Austin says. “It’s on the tip of your dick.”
“Harriet. That was her name. Mandy and Harriet.”
“How did you guess Barbara and Brenda when it doesn’t even start with a B?” I turn, asking him.
“I have no idea.” Noah shrugs. “But those two.” He groans as he shakes his head. “Okay, so now what?” he asks, looking at me. “You saw Dani, and are you still in love with her?”
“Of course, I still love her.” I breathe out while I rub my hands over my face. “With everything that I have.” I put my hands on the table. “I just need her to talk to me.”
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” Noah says as he looks at Austin. “We need to tempt the ex and get her back.”
“We?” Austin asks as he looks up from his laptop, first at Noah and then at me.
“Why am I in this we?” Austin asks as Noah gets up and grabs a sheet of paper from one of the drawers with a pen.
“You’re in the we because it’s us, and it’s one for all and all for one.” Noah quickly writes on the paper.
Tempt The Ex.
“Now,” Noah says as he looks at us. “What does one do to get someone back besides kidnapping?” He taps the pen on his lip, then writes kidnapping down at the bottom of the page.
“I’m not kidnapping anyone,” Austin says as Noah rolls his eyes.
“I put it on the bottom of the page because it’s our last resort. Now, how about love notes?” Noah looks at both of us to see if maybe he is on to something.
“I like that one,” I finally say. “I can do love poems.” I smile at them, and they both roll their eyes. “Too cheesy?”
“Yes!” they both shout.
“Okay, fine.” I give in, raising my hands. “Love notes it is then.”
Noah snaps his fingers. “You shouldn’t write them. We should get magazines and paste the words in there. Make it mysterious. So she thinks she has a secret admirer.”
“I like that. Get her to fall in love with me twice.” I get up, going to the living room and grabbing the last two Cosmo magazines that she left here, and bring them with me back to the kitchen. “Okay, I have the magazines.” I slap them on the table as Austin reaches out to grab one. He flips through it, stopping to read a couple of pages.
“There are quizzes in here and everything,” Austin says as he continues flipping. “What kind of lover is your man?” He looks up at us, and I just shake my head.
“Okay, so we have love letters,” Noah says as he puts it on the list. “What else?”
“What about if you show up where she is?” Austin asks. “Like not stalking but just ‘a coincidence’?” We both look at him as he pushes away from the table to get another cup of coffee. “So you follow her, and then wait a couple of minutes before going into whatever store she is at and bump into her.”
Noah shrugs his shoulders. “I like it.” He adds “follow her” on the list.
“Join her study groups,” Austin also says. “I mean, you’re both in the same program, right?” He sips his coffee as he sits back down. “You could join a couple of study groups that you know she’s in?”
“Yes,” Noah says. “Flirt with other women and make her see you’re a catch. Show her that other girls want your limp dick.”
“My dick isn’t limp,” I point out. “He just only salutes one woman.”
“Voodoo vagina. I might have to wear a cup in front of her in case she thinks I want to sleep with her. To protect the crown jewels,” Noah says, grabbing his junk as though he’s protecting it.
“I texted her last night,” I say quietly. “She didn’t text me back.”
“Okay, if we are going to do this, you can’t go around looking all desperate and shit. No texting her anymore unless she texts you first, and whatever you do, no dick pics,” Noah says as he looks back and forth between Austin and me. “These girls keep it and then show their friends. Next thing you know, they take out a billboard on campus that says have you seen our dick?”
Austin and I both burst out laughing. “Oh my god, that was you in the posters all over campus?” I ask him, holding my stomach from laughing so hard.
“I can’t confirm it, but he did look familiar.” He puts his hands up. “I will say that is the actual size and nothing is blown up.” He pushes away from the table. “I need a fucking nap,” he says as he walks up the stairs and slams his door.
“You sure about this?” Austin looks at me. “I mean, Noah is right. There are more fish in the pond or whatever metaphor he used.”
“It’s her,” I say quietly. “From the moment I met her, it was like my world was knocked into place.”
“Okay, don’t repeat that ever again, especially in front of Noah.” He also gets up from the table, grabbing his laptop as he makes his way to his room and closes the door with a slam as well.
I grab the pieces of paper from the table, looking at the list again, and I add mine. “Make her fall in love with me again.” I put that at the top of the list. Picking up the two magazines and the list, I walk upstairs to my room and start my first love letter.
Chapter 4
Dani
I’m going to be so late for my study group. It’s been a week of hell. First, my car got a flat tire, and it took forev
er to get someone to fix it for me. Then my alarm didn’t go off, and I missed two of my marketing building classes, which is why I needed this study group.
Then to top it all off, I couldn’t fucking sleep without dreaming about John. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the last text he sent me, and I’m like a woman on the ledge about to jump over the cliff. I honestly thought after a couple of days everything would be fine, but it’s not. There is nothing fine with how I’m feeling. NOTHING.
Then to top all this shit off, I’ve started getting weird notes on my car. It’s almost eerie the way the words are glued on instead of written. I think back to the first one I got.
Bouncing down the steps, I slept for a full four hours last night and sighed when I finally put my key into the door of the car, seeing a white folded paper under the windshield wiper. At first, I thought it was a ticket, but then I opened it, and all these letters were spaced together and cut out from a magazine.
Your eyes are the door to your soul.
I looked around, seeing if anything was out of place, but there wasn’t even a bird chirping. Nothing. Then the next day was another note on the same white paper.
Your smile lights up my day, even from afar.
I even set my alarm every hour one night to go and see if anyone was by my car but still nothing.
Now I’m throwing my bag over my shoulder as I slam the car door shut and run into the coffee shop where we’re all meeting. I walk in, looking around to see if the group has gotten there, and I see them in the corner. As I walk over, the only thing I see is John. His black hair is falling on his forehead as he pushes his black-rimmed glasses up a bit.
He looks like Clark Kent, and I see he is talking to Arya. She told me she hates him. She is the one who made a list of why I shouldn’t date him, and now she’s here.
I make my way over as they both laugh at something he said. His arms are folded over his chest. A chest I spent many hours holding on to while sleeping or riding him.
“Hey,” I say, clearing my throat. He looks up at me and smiles big.
“Hey,” he says and is about to say something else when Arya looks at me while she puts her brown hair behind her ear and smiles at me.
“Hey, I didn’t think you would be coming. I thought you were sick?” Arya says to me as she looks a little white and shell-shocked that I’m actually here.
“Nope,” I say as I pull out a chair and sit down in front of them right next to George.
“Hey, Dani, I didn’t see you in class this week. Is everything okay?” he asks me worried, and I just nod.
“I’m fine.” I don’t get into how I’m not fine, or how I didn’t make it to class because I slept through my alarm. Instead, I grab my books and laptop and open them. “So what did I miss?” I ask the group that now is the six of us, including Dylan and Josh. Everyone takes out their notes as we start talking about strategy in public marketing. At the end of the two-hour session, I close my books and put my stuff into my bag.
As I get up, I turn to see that George has left, but John is standing next to me. “Do you think you have everything you need?” he asks me as I tuck my chair in, and Arya comes to stand next to me.
“Well, if you need any of my notes, just ask.” She smiles at me and then smiles bigger at John. “It was good chatting with you.” She turns and walks away. I watch her walk out the coffee shop door, the bells chiming when she opens the door and chiming again when it closes, and something doesn’t sit well in my stomach. I look back at John to see that he isn’t watching Arya walk away. He’s watching me, his eyes soft and light.
“So,” he says as we slowly make our way to the door. We both turn and say bye to everyone lingering. “How have you been?” he asks as we walk slower than two snails.
“I’ve been good,” I say, looking down at our shoes, then I look up at him. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been better,” he comes right out and says. “I’ve been a lot better.” I don’t have to look at him to know what he means. “But”—he shrugs his shoulders—“it is what it is.” He stops walking when we get to my car, and I’m tempted to say something more, but I’m not sure anymore. His phone dings in his pocket, and he pulls it out to look at it. “I have to go,” he says and is about to lean in and kiss me but catches himself and stops. “I guess I’ll see you around.” He puts his hands in his pockets as he smiles, and I nod at him. He turns and climbs into his own car after he tosses his bag into the back. I watch as he pulls out of the parking lot, then I grab my phone to call Melissa right away.
“Dude, you will never believe this!” I say as soon as she answers with a
“Yo!” I’m getting in, then starting it and pulling out of the parking lot. “Arya has the hots for John.”
I hear her slap something. “I fucking knew I didn’t like her!” she yells.
“Yes, you did.” I shake my head. “You were all she’s so nice, and I’m so happy you have a sane roommate.’” I mimic her. “You went so far as to tell me she was one of the good ones. Remember?”
She huffs out. “Okay, fine, I liked her, but I don’t like her anymore.”
“Gee, really.” I hit the steering wheel. “I can’t believe I let her get into my head. I was so stupid.”
“Okay, well, now you know,” Melissa says. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m getting my man back,” I say as I turn onto my street. Looking in my rearview mirror, I see two headlights right behind me. “You know I’m going to be like one of those crazy fucking girls breaking up with him and then begging him to take me back.”
“Do you think he’s moved on?” She asks the question I am even dreading asking myself.
“I don’t think so,” I start. “He walked me to my car when it was time to leave, and then he leaned in and almost kissed me.” I pull up in front of my dorm. “But he pulled back at the last moment.”
“Why don’t you just call him?” she suggests. “Just tell him that you want to meet him and then show up wearing a trench coat and lingerie. Boom. Problem solved.”
“I can’t just show up wearing lingerie. What if Austin and Noah are there?”
“Listen, what if they aren’t?” she says as I park my car and grab my stuff to walk up the stairs to my room. “You need to let that twat face know that you are on to her and her plot to take your man.”
“Okay, I’m walking in now. I’ll keep you posted,” I say as I hang up and walk into my dorm room. We both have loft beds with our desks under the bed. We went shopping together to get matching bedding. I look at her side and see that she isn’t back yet. “That’s strange,” I say out loud to myself. “She left before I did.” I put my bag on my desk, taking out my laptop. As I open it up, I plug my phone into the charger and bring up the text from John.
Hey, are you busy tomorrow? I was wondering if you wanted to study.
I read and read it before I delete it and then start a new one.
Can you check and see if you picked up my notes by accident? I don’t have them.
I press send on that one because it looks believable. I see the little bubble with the three dots come up, so I wait for his answer. The bubble comes on, then disappears for a full minute or maybe it was thirty seconds, but it felt like a whole year. I look back down, but this time, the door opens, and Arya walks in.
“Hey,” she says, going to her side of the room and tossing her stuff on her desk.
I turn and look at her. “Hey, yourself.” I look at her as she shrugs off her jacket. “So you looked cozy tonight with John.” I come right out and say it. I’m not even trying to sugarcoat this shit.
She looks over at me. “We were just discussing things. Besides, I was just making you see that he really is a player.” She looks down, then back up. “I’m just showing you that he would have no problems moving on. You should thank me.”
Is this bitch serious? I finally see it, the jealousy inside her words and inside her eyes. “Yeah, I really sh
ould thank you for opening my eyes.” I don’t continue to tell her that I’ve opened my eyes to what a conniving little bitch she is, or that I hope she gets bed bugs in her vagina. Instead, I turn back and check my phone and see that he still hasn’t answered. Instead, I text Melissa.
Recon tomorrow. I gotta win my man back. And I have to look for a new place to live. Oh, and where can one purchase bed bugs?
I press send and look over to see that Arya is sitting down with her computer and her earbuds in. Yup, tomorrow is a brand new day.
Chapter 5
John
“She texted me, and I didn’t text her back.” I look down at my phone and then up at Austin and Noah, who are both on their computers. “You guys told me not to text her, but I don’t know.” I look at them. “I should have texted her.”
“You can’t look like a dog waiting for a bone,” Noah says. “Make her grovel. Did you drop off the letters?” He asks about the five letters we have done.
“I’ve dropped off two with a third this morning. I had to dress in a hoodie in case someone saw me,” I tell them both. “I swear I saw her shadow in the window and had to duck for cover.” I look down at my hands. “I fucking scraped my hands, and I think I might have dislocated my knee.” I rub my kneecap and feel the pain right away. Getting up, I go to the freezer and take out a bag of peas to place on my kneecap. “Dude, and yesterday, her roommate Arya was all up in my junk.”
Austin’s eyes come up from his computer. “What do you mean was all up in your junk?” Noah’s eyes come up also. “Did she touch your junk?” he asks me with one eyebrow up.
“No!” I scoff at him as I change hands on the bag of peas. “She didn’t touch my junk, far from it. She was just weird and shit.” I look at them.
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