by Andrew Grey
To say I was shocked was an understatement. “You actually told him that you and I were in a relationship?”
“Yes. He needs to know.”
It seemed so logical, and yet it was something I never thought Meyer would actually do.
“But…,” I sputtered, trying to get my mind around all this. “You actually told Ethan that you’re gay and that you’re in a relationship with me.”
Meyer scooted closer, taking my hand in his. “I told Ethan that you and I knew each other before both of us were asked to be on the show and that you and I had been friends back then.”
I turned to watch him and felt Meyer’s heat rising around him.
“I did tell him that you and I hadn’t parted on the best of terms, but that we had worked things out between the two of us.” The intensity in Meyer’s eyes was enticing as all hell.
“I don’t know what to say.” This was the last thing I had expected to happen. “You did this to protect me… us?” My head felt cloudy for a second, and then the real meaning of what Meyer had said became clear in my mind. I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “Wait, did you tell Ethan about us and the fact that we’ve been… together… or not?”
Meyer squirmed, and I pulled my hand back. “I didn’t want to have someone trying to find out secrets about us. Besides, I don’t think that whoever is out to dig up dirt is looking in our direction. I have no idea why, though.” He patted my hand. I knew he was trying to reassure me, but it wasn’t really working any longer.
I placed my hands in my lap and lowered my gaze. I didn’t know why I would have thought that Meyer would have just bounded out of the closet like that. He hadn’t three years ago, and while Meyer seemed to be making progress in figuring out who he was, this would have been a good chance for him to acknowledge our relationship in a controlled manner. I closed my eyes and tried not to be too disappointed. The show was becoming a pressure cooker, with everyone looking at each other, wondering who was behind this, every time a new note was delivered.
“I hope you’re right.” I turned to him. “But we all have secrets, and not just the ones you and I are aware of.”
Meyer leaned closer. “What sort of secrets do you have? You’re the last person on earth I would suspect of keeping secrets.” He pressed against me, and I probably should have pulled away. Call me weak, or even dumb, but damn it all, I was falling for Meyer, and so far he had surprised me. I didn’t want to let a momentary hurt undermine what might be happening between us.
I shrugged. “I’m not talking about big kinds of secrets.” The kind that Meyer seemed pretty adept at managing. “But there are things I don’t want spread all over the front pages of the internet. I mean, what you and I do in the bedroom is between the two of us. It isn’t something I want other people knowing. Everyone deserves some privacy. Not everything is for public consumption.” I sighed softly. “What about you?” I asked, and Meyer hesitated. I couldn’t help wondering what he was hiding, but I didn’t inquire further.
“Okay.” Meyer coughed softly, clearly uncomfortable, and I could tell he was deciding if he actually wanted to tell me or not.
“All right. You don’t need to come clean about what’s bothering you and what you’re afraid of.” I was giving him an easy out and figured he’d take it. Meyer seemed to be in a retreating, secret kind of mood, and generally when that happened, it could be like he had a safe around his heart.
“It isn’t that.” He squirmed. “I’ve made some stupid decisions in my life. I can admit that, but I don’t want the dumbness of those choices splashed all over everywhere.” He sighed softly. “It’s… look. Starting a business is really hard. There’s an old saying in the restaurant business: if you want to make a small fortune, start with a large fortune and open a restaurant.” He flashed a quick smile, which faded. “It’s a lot more difficult than I ever thought it would be. For my first restaurant, I needed money to buy all the equipment, and no bank was going to give me that kind of a loan, so I borrowed from some people I don’t recommend anyone go to for cash. I paid them back and walked away, but that isn’t something I want splashed across the internet. I mean, someone could twist that, and suddenly I’m connected to the mob and my businesses are fronts for organized crime… or something.” Meyer fidgeted in the seat. “At first, I thought that might have been the issue behind all this, but I doubt it. He tends to use much more… physical methods in his business. And I paid him back, in full, and had a meal delivered to him as a thank-you.” Meyer wiped his forehead. “I never want to be in that kind of position again. I was lucky, really lucky, but things could have gone so very wrong then. And as I said, I made a stupid decision, but it worked out.” He shivered, and I slid closer, putting my arm around his shoulders to comfort him.
“I wish I had known that you needed help.” I would have done what I could. Hell, even after what we’d been through, I would have tried to figure out a way to get Meyer the money he’d needed. Despite the breakup and everything, I knew Meyer and food were a magical combination, and it would have been a shame to deny the world the artistry and magic that was Meyer in the kitchen.
“There was no way anyone could have helped me. A lot of chef-started restaurants have a financial backer who bankrolls the enterprise. But if I’d gone that route, then the money person would have had a lot of control over operations and eventually the food. I didn’t want that. I came so close to disaster on more than one occasion, but then the business took off and I was able to get a proper loan and repay the debt.”
I nodded. I could understand what he was saying. It made sense, but I figured that was some sort of cover story. Granted, Meyer didn’t owe me an explanation of everything in his life any more than I owed one to him of mine.
I covered my mouth with my hand as I yawned. I tried to squelch it, but was too danged tired.
Meyer got up, went into the kitchen, and made some pasta for dinner. By the time I’d eaten, I was exhausted, and Meyer and I went to bed. I couldn’t figure out anything that would be juicy about my life. I just wasn’t that interesting.
I fell to sleep almost immediately and woke to the clock beside the bed glowing three minutes after two. I rolled over, staring at the ceiling, Meyer quietly sleeping next to me, with Rosco curled near my feet. At that moment, I had everything I thought I wanted. Well, I could delude myself into thinking I had it, at least.
I couldn’t help wondering if things between Meyer and me weren’t in the exact same place that they had been three years earlier. Damn it all, I was falling in love with Meyer once again, and the hope that he would acknowledge me and that we could have a relationship that existed in the light of day burned just as brightly as it had those years ago. And that scared the shit out of me. I had gone through hell when Meyer left, and I now was setting myself up for the exact same heartbreak all over again. History was repeating itself, and I needed to somehow get myself and my heart off this damn treadmill before I was shattered beyond repair.
I turned my head to face Meyer, his outline visible in the glow of the blinds from the lights of the city outside. Why was it that when I came close to getting what I wanted, it stayed elusive and just out of reach?
“Luke,” Meyer rumbled, half-asleep. “I know you’re worried, and I know I’m not helping.” He rolled onto his side, and I wondered how he knew what was going through my head. “I know you, remember? I might have been stupid about how I treated you and was dumb enough to let you go, but….” He turned over to face me. “How about this? Let’s get through this show without making waves so Ethan won’t lose his shit, and then you and I will figure out a way forward that is open and honest for both of us.” He slipped his arm around my waist, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “And yes, before you ask, you can hold me to that promise. I might not be as open about who I am with the world, but I know what I want… and who I want.” He tugged me closer. “We’ll figure it all out.”
I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but I to
ssed and turned for a long while. Things with Meyer kept running through my head, as well as the situation on the set and the person looking for dirt. It pissed me off that some people couldn’t be content with what they had and were determined to make a profit off the exposure of others. I also wasn’t nearly as settled on the idea that whoever did this didn’t have their sights set on Meyer and me. Especially with Meyer sleeping next to me, in my bed, most nights, it would be so easy to follow him here. Maybe the fact that they hadn’t was a kind of proof that they weren’t that interested. But who knows?
“You need to calm down, or you’re going to look puffy in front of the cameras,” Meyer whispered groggily, and tugged me right next to him, rolled me onto my back, and found my lips in the darkness.
“Meyer,” I whispered as Rosco thumped to the floor with a soft mrrr, and most likely hurried out of the room.
“One way or another, you need to sleep, and this is the best way I can think of to wear you out and turn off that whirring mind of yours.” He kissed me again, more forcefully, and the circular thoughts in my head settled and narrowed to Meyer, who slid down my body to worry a nipple between his lips and tongue. I gasped and thrust my chest forward, desperate for Meyer’s hot, erotic attention, any way I could get it.
Meyer worked his legs between mine, his knees pushing them apart and under, guiding my legs upward. He threw off the covers, and I wound my arms around his neck. This wasn’t going to be some sort of slow seduction, but a hard fucking—just what I needed. God bless him.
“That’s it, babe, open yourself to me.” He breathed deeply and reached to the bedside table while I inhaled his rich, sleep-intensified scent that sent my mind spinning. Dammit, if I could bottle his heady aroma, I’d never have to work again. I could call the stuff Sex, because that’s what it was—pure, unadulterated sex in scent form. I shivered and inhaled again, wanting more as Meyer shifted.
I gasped as Meyer breached me, a digit going deep and my head spinning. He always knew how to touch me and the way to make me long for him with only the simplest touch.
“That’s it,” Meyer crooned, and I exhaled deep and long, relaxing the muscles as he stretched me farther.
“Oh God.” My entire body undulated with desire as he pulled away. I lay still, waiting, anticipation building until Meyer pressed to my entrance, sliding inside, filling, adding heat upon fire as he slowly rocked back and forth. “Meyer… I….” He made me forget my doubts and worries. This was what I had been missing for the past three damned years.
I gasped for air as Meyer pushed deeper and held still, taking me halfway to heaven without actually doing anything. Just the fact that he was there, connected to me, was more than enough to cause my heart to race. His gaze met mine, deep and intense. I held it as he slowly undulated his hips. I moaned, releasing my hold around Meyer’s neck, falling back on the bed, giving my pleasure over to him. I arched my back and moved into each thrust, going with him as Meyer pounded me halfway to oblivion. My ears rang and my head lightened as I tried to hold on to some sort of control, but Meyer ripped it away. I reached to stroke myself, becoming more and more desperate for release. Meyer batted my hand away, then stroked me in time to the undulations of his hips and the throbbing in my head.
“Meyer, God, please.” I clamped my eyes closed as Meyer held me on the brink, pulling back and then bringing me to the edge once more. I reached up over my head to grab the headboard, groaning as he rammed into my body, hitting that spot each time and sending my entire body into orbit.
I was on fire, and there was no way in hell I wanted that intense heat quenched. Hanging on, it built more and more until I thought I was going to fly to pieces. Then and only then did Meyer drive harder, and I tipped over the edge into the abyss of ecstasy, flying high and long into clouds of happiness that I never wanted to return from.
When I came back down, Meyer held me. I caught my breath, and as Meyer and I separated, I quivered and gasped at the sensation. I needed some time for the tingling to subside, and yet I relished the feeling and hoped it would last. But like all good things, it came to a slow end, and I lay back down in bed with Meyer holding me. And, damn it all, I hoped everything outside my bed was all right, because right here and now, it was pretty damned special.
Chapter 9
“TENSION ON the set of Cooking Masters is thick enough to cut with a knife. Not only are the chefs heating up the show, but the judges are turning up the heat as well. Stay tuned for more.” The clip cut away, and I shook my head, turning off the television.
Ethan looked around the room, and Rachel seemed on edge as well.
“It’s a fishing expedition,” I told Meyer and Ethan. Basically, it said no more than the last report they ran. “Someone is trying to dig up something, but they aren’t having any luck.” I turned to the others. “Has anyone gotten any more notes?” I asked, and Ethan paused and groaned.
“I did,” he said softly, but didn’t go into any details.
I glanced at Justin, who stood near the door. He seemed nervous to me. I hated my mistrust, because he had been so helpful for me here, but my suspicions seemed to be playing out. I wasn’t sure how I could prove it, but Justin definitely had easy access to Ethan and his office.
“This entire situation is ridiculous, and we need to find out who is behind this and put a stop to it.” Ethan quivered with anger, and his hands clenched and unclenched. “I don’t know what the hell someone thinks they are doing, but this must stop, and any sort of scandal will be dealt with severely.” He took a deep breath, gripping the back of the chair, glaring at everyone in the room. “If you have secrets, they had better be buried deep, and they had sure as hell better be kept away from the set.” He pulled out the chair and sat down. “Let’s review the day’s schedule and get to work.”
I glanced at Meyer and then at Rachel and the rest of the production team. Rachel sat back as though she didn’t have a care in the world, but the hair on the back of my neck stood up. That was an act, and the tiny beads of perspiration on her forehead gave it away. She was worried, as were the other faces around the table. One of the techs, a man named Ryan, bit his lower lip, while another texted under the table. This was a room full of nervous people, and I couldn’t blame them. Hell, I was beginning to wonder what I had in my own past that could be misconstrued and blow up in my face.
I knew that Meyer and I were playing with fire and it was a matter of time before someone figured out that things were more than friends between us. They weren’t dumb, and if we were being watched, then it wasn’t a huge leap of logic. As Ethan and the others talked about filming schedules and how they expected the day to unfold, I wondered just what I wanted to have happen. I had promised Meyer that I wouldn’t out him, and I wasn’t going to break my word. But was it bad that part of me wondered if someone might be interested in us and Meyer could get outed that way? I tried not to think about it too hard, and I certainly wasn’t going to draw attention to us.
“Luke will be judging the appetizer round with Rachel, and it will be centered around broccoli. Luke, we know you hate it, so be honest and natural. We really want your reactions—”
“Be prepared for comments about battery acid and using the dish to jump-start my dying tongue.” I quivered as I thought about eating cooked broccoli. Yuck!
“Just be honest,” Ethan said with a momentary gleeful smile. “This is another challenge where we want them to make a dish you’ll like.”
Ethan had told me that those episodes were looking like gold to the producers, and they changed some of the later challenges because of it. Which of course meant I had to eat still more food I didn’t like. Oh well, it came with the territory.
Ethan continued on, but the room was otherwise quiet, suspicion and worry hanging in the air like a thick fog.
I turned to Rachel to catch her reaction to the challenge, and she squirmed in her seat. Rachel never squirmed. She was a goddess most of the time, sitting erect in her chair, listening and
taking in what she needed to do. Not today. Meyer seemed calm enough, but even Ethan paced as he talked. Each person at the table looked alternately at the others as tension ratcheted up by the second.
“Okay,” I said, standing. “We need to talk about what the hell is going on. We’re all getting notes and threats. Everyone is suspicious of everyone else, wondering who is up to what and what sort of secrets someone—one of us, obviously—is trying to dig up.” I had had enough. “We need to concentrate on getting the best episodes we can and to hell with the rest of it.” I met Ethan’s gaze, and he nodded. Thank God. “This entire hotbed of worry and suspicion has to stop. Who the hell cares what someone else is doing? As long as it doesn’t affect the end product, then who gives a damn? It’s just fodder for people who want to know every single thing about the lives of people who happen to be on television.” I stepped back and put my hands on the top of the chair. “I have a life, and I wasn’t hired to spill my guts all over the place. Nor do I give the rest of America the right to know my business.” I turned to each person in the room, meeting their gaze. “And let me tell you, if the person behind this is in this room and I find out who they are, I will get even.”
“He will, believe me,” Meyer quipped, and I rolled my eyes.
“This entire thing is a distraction. Everyone has secrets. I know I do, and I bet each of you does too. So screw it and let’s get back to work.” This time I centered my gaze on Ethan, who nodded and stood at the end of the table.
“I probably would have said it better, but I agree. Let’s get to work.” Ethan continued the meeting, and at least some of the tension had been dispersed. I had little doubt that it would most likely return with the next letter, but what the hell.