People watching has always been a habit of mine. I often wander the streets and ponder the very same things I was just thinking about the man at the bar. Everyone has a story, and I can't help that I’m interested in knowing what the story is. Strangers fascinate me, simply because I do not know them.
“Sorry.” I look back to Becca, who already has our two glasses filled to the brim.
“What are we toasting to?” she asks, picking her glass up off the bar.
“Well, I officially have a literary agent,” I say, not able to contain my smile. Only Bec doesn't smile. Instead, she looks at me like I have three heads.
“Huh?” She cocks a brow, reminding me that if you are not part of the literary world, you probably have no idea what that is or what the purpose of a literary agent is.
I decide to break it down the easiest way I know how to. “Okay, so a football player has an agent, right? One that helps negotiate his contracts and get him sponsor deals and stuff.” I ask, making sure she's following. When she nods her head that she's with me, I continue. “Well, a literary agent is kind of the same thing, only for a writer. It's the first real step to becoming published.”
“Oh my god, Grace, that's amazing!” she squeals, holding up her glass. “To you, Grace, and all your upcoming successes at being a big time fancy writer.”
We clink glasses and I try to prepare myself for the burn that is sure to come with mixing three very strong liquors together. Sure enough, the moment the liquid hits my throat, I feel like it's burning a hole straight through my neck.
Catching my expression, Becca quickly saves the day by grabbing a bottle of water and twisting off the cap, setting it in front of me just in time for me to chug half the bottle.
“Wow.” I cough, wiping the traces of liquor from my lips.
“Now give me something else.” She smiles, proceeding to refill our glasses.
“Oh no, I'm not drinking anymore of that.” I shake my head adamantly, my eyes still watering from the burn.
“Just one more,” she pleads, sticking out her lower lip.
“You don't need me to drink in order for you to drink,” I say, laughing at her pouty expression.
“Yeah, but drinking while I’m working with no real excuse is hard to justify. Give me another reason to take a shot.” She laughs when I roll my eyes at her.
“You're ridiculous, you realize this, right?” I ask, not objecting when she shoves another full glass into my hand.
“And you love me for it.” She winks, holding up her glass.
“We're telling Alec. Me and Zayne. We’re going to tell him.”
“Shut up!” She slaps the bar. “How the hell did this come about?” She sets her glass down on the bar.
I spend the next ten minutes filling her in on my visit to Zayne's office yesterday. Of course, I leave out the complete details of our romp on the desk and briefly graze over that part. By the time I’m done, her expression only makes me even giddier about reliving the words he said to me just twenty-four hours ago.
“I'm in Grace. I'm all in.”
Even thinking about it gives me goosebumps all over my entire body.
“Well that is certainly cause for celebration.” She smiles, once again lifting her glass. I reluctantly follow suit and immediately regret it when the liquor once again burns like fire down my throat and slowly settles in my belly.
I make a grab for the water and empty the contents in one large gulp. Before I even place the empty one down, Becca has a fresh bottle waiting for me.
I throw her an appreciative look before taking another long gulp, trying desperately to cool the burn. Becca laughs lightly at me but patiently waits for me to right myself before we continue our conversation.
“So, what are you going to tell Alec? Have you figured out what you're going to say or how you’re going to even start the conversation? Are you going to jump right into it or try to ease your way in?” She hits me with multiple questions, pushing herself up onto the cooler that sits behind the bar so that she’s eye level with me.
“Well. I haven't really figured that part out.”
“Okay, so listen.” She leans against the bar. “I don't know that there's any good way to do this, so if you're asking my opinion, this is it. Just say it.”
“You think I should sit down with him for dinner and casually say, oh by the way, Alec, me and Zayne have secretly been fucking for weeks behind your back and we're now telling you. You're good with this, right?” I say, my voice clearly a mocking tone.
“Well don't say it like that.” She laughs, finding my predicament amusing. “I was thinking more like, just tell him how you feel. I mean, he's your brother. He loves you. Shouldn't he be happy that his sister found someone that makes her happy, no matter where she found it?”
“I wish it were that easy.” I voice my concerns. “But Alec knows Zayne better than anyone and his past, well let's just say that Zayne is not the type of man my brother would probably ever want me getting involved with.”
“Right, but if Zayne is his best friend, then surely he sees the good in him as well. From what you have told me, he trusts Zayne more than anybody. That has to stand for something.”
“You know what, you're right,” I say, realization finally dawning.
“I am?” Her eyebrows shoot up like I’m the first person to ever admit this to her.
“Alec loves Zayne like he's family. If anyone can see past the mistakes he's made, it's Alec. I still don't know how he's going to react, but I think maybe it won't be as bad as I have been thinking. After all, why wouldn't he want me and Zayne to be happy?” I say the question more to myself than to Becca.
“Not to mention that he has been seeing your best friend as well. Be a bit hypocritical if he tries to turn around and say you can't date his.”
“You're right again.”
“I'm liking this being right thing.” She shakes her head in approval.
“Seriously though, Bec. I have been so worried about his reaction to this, but at the end of the day, it's my life, not his. If he can't accept my decisions that's his problem, not mine. He is guilty of the exact same thing and instead of freaking out when I found out about him and Emma, I wished them luck, because I love them both and I want them to be happy, whether that means they find happiness together or apart. So he should want the same for me and Zayne,” I conclude, feeling a large amount of weight lift from my shoulders.
“I think another shot is in order.”
Chapter Nineteen
“SORRY, IT'S KIND OF my fault.” Becca chuckles as I lift my head off the bar to peer up at an amused looking Zayne.
“I never thought I would see the day where you would call me, completely hammered in the middle of a Friday afternoon.” He laughs.
I wrinkle my nose up at him. “For the record, I am not hammered.” There’s only a hint of a slur in my words. “I just have a really, really good buzz.” I laugh when Becca snorts her own laughter.
“Come on.” He wraps his arm around my waist, sliding me off the bar stool and pulling me to his chest.
The moment my feet hit the ground, I sway, but find my balance pretty quickly. Peering up at his incredible face, I can't contain the sigh of contentment that escapes my mouth.
“What?” he asks, a sweet smile pulling up his lips.
“You are so damn beautiful.” I reach up to trace the back of my hand down his strong jaw line. “It's unfair really.” I pout, letting my hand drop.
“Isn't that supposed to be my line to you?” He shakes his head at me. “You're coming home with me. You can tell me how unfair it is while I have you tied to my bed and your body is all mine,” he says so quietly that only I can hear his words.
“Bye, Becca.”
“Bye.” She throws up a half wave as she pours a drink for one of the now four customers sitting at the bar.
Zayne throws his arm over my shoulder and leads me outside. The moment the sun hits my face, all I see is bright a
nd blurry. I have to stop and give my eyes a moment to adjust before I feel certain that I can see where I am going.
Once again, the temperature is unseasonably cool. Okay, so not really cool, but much cooler than one would expect in late August. Usually this time of year is the hottest on the east coast, but right now we are barely reaching the eighties and I’m very grateful for the break in heat.
“So, is there a reason that I received a phone call to come get you? Is everything okay?”
He's worried because I was drinking in the middle of the day.
“No, no.” I laugh. “Me and Becca... Well, we were just celebrating, I guess.” I squint toward the sun to get a look at his handsome face.
“Celebrating, huh?” he asks, bumping his body into mine.
“I have dinner plans with Alec tomorrow.”
He nods his head slowly. “Yes, I know.” Reminding me that he was with Alec when I made the call.
“Anyway, thanks for coming to get me,” I say, emphasizing the word get, knowing full well I could have walked home.
“The pleasure is all mine.” His eyes dance across my face. I pick up on the hidden meaning behind his words and instantly my stomach twists in the most delicious way. My body is ready for him, reacting to him, anticipating the feeling of him inside of me.
“It will be.” I smile wickedly, not missing the way his eyes darken or the way his arm tightens around my shoulders.
“Keep talking like that and we'll be lucky if we make it to my car.”
“Oh, I'm kind of counting on it.”
Without warning, Zayne drops his arm from my shoulder and grabs my hand, pulling me to the side. At first I think he's following through with his threat and that he's about to pull me into some dark alley and take me against a dirty brick wall.
Imagine my disappointment when I realize that he's pulling me in the direction of where his black sports car is parked along the side of the alley. He opens the door for me and I quickly slip inside, the heat from the leather feeling too hot against the back of my bare legs.
The car ride to Zayne's feels long. With hidden looks and stolen touches, by the time we pull into the parking garage of his building, my entire body feels on edge, tightly wound and in desperate need of feeling him against me, inside me, our bodies tangled together as one.
He lets his hand trail up the back of my black plaid skirt as the elevator climbs toward his floor, his fingers brushing across my panties. I try to contain myself but I know he can sense what he’s doing to me.
He can tell in the way my pulse quickens. In the way my breath hitches and becomes labored. And in the way that my legs tremble under his touch. He knows exactly what he's doing to me, and I stand absolutely no chance of fighting against him.
Before the doors even slide open, his mouth is on mine, hot and firm, not allowing me to pull away when the doors slide open. He hoists my body against his, my legs wrapping around his lean waist as he leads us out of the elevator and toward his apartment.
It isn't until his body freezes and I feel every ounce of him tense underneath me that I realize that something is off. Pulling back, the panic that flashes across his face is enough to send my stomach plummeting to the ground.
He gently sets me to my feet, his eyes never leaving whatever has caught his attention. Afraid to turn around, but unable to resist, I slowly spin. The moment my eyes land on Alec, a shudder runs through my entire body.
“Alec.” His name is off my lips unintentionally, but it does nothing to soften the glare that is hard set on Zayne. His hands twist around an envelope and it's clear that he was stopping by to drop something off.
“Alec, I can explain,” Zayne starts, and for the first time since I met him, his voice falters.
Alec remains completely still. I don't know if he's in shock or he's trying to talk himself out of killing Zayne. Either way, his face looks absolutely murderous. That, along with the tightening in my chest tells me one thing... We messed up... Bad.
It seems like hours pass as we all stand there, looking at each other, none of us sure what to say.
“How could you?” Alec’s words are like acid, his eyes set on Zayne. In the whole time we have been standing here, he has yet to acknowledge my presence.
“Alec... I,” Zayne starts but is immediately cut off.
“Grace, Zayne. Really? Out of all the women in the fucking world, Grace?” he questions, like he’s unsure how I am actually involved in this.
“Alec,” I start, taking a step toward him, but he still refuses to acknowledge me.
“How long Zayne? How long? Since she arrived in New York? Or was it before that? At the lake house right after I asked you to stay away from her?” His words send my heart into a frantic race. Wait. What? “I told you what she had been through. I told you and yet you chose to pursue her anyway?”
Wait, what?
“You knew about Kyle. Before I told you... You already knew?” I turn toward Zayne, my voice weak. Everything seems too slow, almost like I’m in some really bad movie that has been placed on slow motion. I don't know if it's the events that are taking place, or the alcohol still swimming in my stomach, but I feel very off kilter.
Confusion floods through me as I look at Zayne. He, like Alec, refuses to look at me. Suddenly, not only am I terrified of what is about to unfold, but I’m also beside myself with betrayal. He let me believe he knew nothing of my past. He let me cry and relive the whole story to him the night I showed up at his apartment, and all the while, he already knew.
“Alec, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. It wasn't like I went out intentionally trying to do exactly what you asked me not to. It just... Fuck, Alec, it just happened.”
I step to the side, positioning myself in a way where I can see both men. Zayne stands tall, seeming completely unphased, and yet I can tell that he is. I can see it in the way his forehead crinkles, and in the brief glimpses of panic that flash through his eyes, but he remains in control.
Alec, on the other hand, looks anything but controlled. His face is flushed and the snarl on his lips tells me that he is mere seconds away from turning on his best friend and beating his face into the ground.
“How long?” Alec's repeated question rings through the hallway.
“Three months,” Zayne admits, leaving out that we have only actually been together about half of that time given our many speed bumps along the way.
“Three fucking months!” His words erupt from his throat and this seems to be his breaking point. “You are not good for her, Zayne. After everything, you should understand that. But you did it anyway. You were my brother. I trusted you. And now what? What happens when you fuck her over? Who’s going to have to pick up the pieces when you disregard her like you have every other woman who has come into your life, huh? Who, Zayne?” He pauses, waiting to see if Zayne will respond. “I am. That's who. I’m the one who will have to clean up the mess you leave behind. I’m so fucking tired of cleaning up after you, Zayne. And this time you've gone too far.”
Sensing we are reaching a climax, I find my voice. Whether it's alcohol induced bravery or my natural need to protect Zayne, I'm not sure. All I know is I can't stand by and let Alec say anymore.
“Enough!” I yell, my voice cutting through the air like an alarm bell. As if just noticing me for the first time, Alec's eyes slide to me. “He wasn't alone in this. He didn't do this to you. I did,” I say, stepping toward my brother. “I pursued him. He tried to avoid me, to push me away. This is my fault, Alec, not his. If you want to blame someone for betraying you, blame me.”
“Grace.”
“Don't Grace me, Alec. I am not a child anymore.” My voice rises and for the first time in all of this sneaking around, it's not guilt that I feel, but anger. “We wouldn't have had to keep any of this from you if you would accept that! You are not my father and you have no say in who is or is not good enough for me. I love him, Alec.” My words echo through the hallway and surprise even me. After
all this time, the truth finally slips out.
Alec's face contorts between a mixture of anger and complete disbelief. I can tell that was not something he saw coming. I don't look back to see the shocked expression that I’m sure is plastered on Zayne's face. All I care about right now is Alec and making him understand.
“Alec, I am in love with him. I need you to accept this.”
“Grace.” He blows out a breath. “You don't know what you're getting into with him. He's not good enough for you and he will hurt you,” he promises. “I know it may seem impossible right now, but I know him. I know how he gets. I'm not trying to control you, I'm trying to protect you.”
“He's right,” Zayne cuts in before I can say anything. I whip around to see him looking at me with an expression I can't quite pin. Apology. Regret. Sadness. “He's right, Grace. I never should have let this happen or allowed it to go on as long as it has. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Zayne... What are you saying?” I ask, silently begging for him to look at me.
“It's over, Grace.” His words cut through me like a tidal wave. The water beating me down further and further until I’m struggling to do something as natural as breathe.
“What? I don't... I don't understand.”
“You can't love me.” His eyes finally meet mine.
Suddenly, everything makes perfect sense. He's not pushing me away because of Alec, he's pushing me away because I admitted that I’m in love with him.
It tells me everything I need to know about the man that I so carelessly gave my heart to. I know he loves me too. I can feel it, see it in the way he looks at me. He's scared.
“You fucking coward.”
I push my way past him, ignoring Alec's voice trailing after me. I pass the elevator and slip into the stairwell, not bothering to slow down as I nearly trip down the last few stairs as I round another floor.
Honestly, I think falling would hurt less than the pain currently ripping its way through my body. He hurt me, just not the way everyone saw coming. He's not incapable of love, he's scared of it. And when it came time for him to step up and show me that we are in this together, he turned his back on me.
The Way Back Page 30