by Kendall Ryan
“You did what?” she gasped.
“I’ve been thinking, and I want to earn what I get. Maybe Dad was right—about marketing and everything. I shouldn’t walk into a job, but I also shouldn’t walk into a car and a credit card either just because of who I was born to.”
Holding the phone pinched between my cheek and shoulder, I snipped the card in half, then let out a satisfied sigh, feeling the strings of my puppeteer falling away. “I have enough to get by for a while. In the meantime, I’ll find a new job, but I can’t take any more of your money.”
Silence reigned on the line for a long moment. When my mother spoke again, it was slowly and carefully, as if she were speaking to a deranged person. “Honey, is this some sort of Walden thing? Are you trying to—I don’t know—only keep what brings you joy? Because I’ve read that book, and—”
“This isn’t anything I got from a book. This is something I feel deep down inside,” I said. “I just wanted to let you know.”
“We only wanted to help you.”
“I appreciate that, Mother. But I need to help myself now.”
I didn’t say all the rest burning in my throat. That everything I’d been given came with strings, and that I’d suddenly never felt freer. That their help was just a form of control. What would the point be? It would only hurt her. She loved me the best she knew how, and I’d been a willing participant, happy to take what they gave until now. No point in beating it to death. We’d all made mistakes. The key was to move forward as a better me, and hope that didn’t destroy my relationship with my parents.
I ended the call despite her renewed cries for me to see a therapist anyway.
When I emerged from the bedroom, Valentina gave me a smile so big and wide that for the first time since I’d left Luke, I almost felt happy.
“We’ll start looking for jobs for you next week,” Valentina cried, “but for tonight? We’re going to celebrate.”
She popped the cork of a bottle of champagne. Foam sprayed the living room but she didn’t care, she only let out a whoop of celebration. I joined her, laughing as the suds dripped onto the floor.
“Okay,” I said. “It’s time to get our party on.”
We raided Valentina’s closet and downed the champagne, then took an Uber to a nearby club. It should have been freeing—a perfect night of dancing and celebrating the way I’d always loved to do in New York.
But now? Now I could only look around and picture that going-away party at the little bar, how everyone knew each other, and how I was now surrounded by strangers who didn’t know me any more than they cared about me—which was to say not at all.
An hour into the festivities, I tapped Valentina on the shoulder. “I think I’d like to head out. You can stay if you want.”
She frowned. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I lied. “Just still tired from the trip.”
She insisted on leaving with me, but she didn’t press for answers. I felt nothing but relief as I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over my head a half hour later.
I’d taken a huge step with my parents, and that had felt amazing. But once the euphoria had faded, I realized I still had a gaping hole in my heart.
And the only person who could fill it was more than a thousand miles away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Luke
Another few days passed and I worked even harder, throwing myself into the distillery with everything I had. Business was booming, and the regular order from the bar had doubled in the span of a week. Occasionally, Duke or Molly would stop by to see what was going on—and to talk to me yet again about Charlotte—but for the most part, this was my baby. My big chance to make a difference.
Still, every night I pulled out my phone and did what was quickly becoming a ritual. I opened Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, searching for any mention of Charlotte, but Molly was right. Charlotte hadn’t posted anything since the day before she left.
The only way to know she was okay would be to call her.
To ask how she was doing.
To beg her to come back.
I took a deep breath. For days, this decision had been looming over me. I thought again about my mother, trapped in a marriage that didn’t work. I thought about Sarah, who, despite all her positive qualities, hadn’t come to Shady Grove for the right reasons. I’d begged them both to stay when they’d already made up their minds to leave, and Charlotte . . .
Wasn’t she the one who’d wanted me to ask her to stay? Wasn’t her asking me an indication that she needed my validation—some proof that I really, truly wanted her here?
And I did.
More than anything, I wanted her here with me.
So, what the fuck are you doing moping around here, you idiot?
I whipped out my phone, and before I could let my own fears convince me to change my mind, booked myself a ticket to Los Angeles. It might never work out, but goddamn it, I was going to try.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Charlotte
City life wasn’t how I remembered it.
Within the first week of arriving in Los Angeles, I’d gotten myself a job as a barista and had made a couple of new friends who liked to party. But as much as I tried to fit in, something still stuck out like a sore thumb . . . and I was beginning to think that something was me.
My mother had called a few more times, trying to ensure I’d go see a doctor. My father had even called and insisted that if I’d only come back, I could work for his company after all.
But now that I’d had my awakening, their attempts didn’t affect me the way they’d hoped. Instead, I listened to their concerns, considered everything they said, and hung up feeling even better about my decision than I had before.
And every single time, I’d wonder with a bittersweet pang if Luke would be proud of me.
Of course, that thought often led me down a dark and dangerous path. Even looking at my phone nowadays had me scrolling through my contacts and double-checking my texts, just in case I’d missed a message.
But I knew I hadn’t.
Luke hadn’t posted on Facebook or Twitter, and he didn’t have an Instagram account. I’d started a few posts of my own, talking about the wonderful sun and sand of California, but then deleted them and put away my phone. I wasn’t going to lie to the world when I was already lying to myself.
California was beautiful and sunny and sandy, yes. But it was lonely, and the traffic sucked. All the buildings felt like big industrial blocks with no charm or character, nothing like the cute little shops along the main street of Shady Grove.
If Luke came to Los Angeles, all he would see was the thing he hated most—the ridiculous city-slicker nonsense that made him stay so firmly in Shady Grove to begin with. I was having a hard time admitting it, but I missed the warmth and charm of that little speck on the map.
When my latest shift at the nearby café ended, I hung up my apron and ducked under the counter, punching out quickly before I headed down the sidewalk and back to Valentina’s place.
It was convenient—only a few blocks away—and when I approached, I found her putting something in my old-but-new-to-me clunker of a car. I’d sold my Audi the day after I cut up my credit cards, and still hadn’t decided what to do with the money left over after I bought my clunker. My parents refused to accept the excess back since the car had been a graduation gift, but I knew I wasn’t that person anymore. I felt like a fraud driving a car I hadn’t paid for myself.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
She looked up at me, her eyes wide, reminding me of a cat that had been caught with its paw in the fishbowl. “Nothing.”
“Come on, what’s up?”
“Look, I’m just . . . I’m trying to help.”
I rounded the car and peered inside to see my own purple suitcase in the backseat, alongside Valentina’s bright orange one.
“What’s going on?” I asked, a sizz
le of apprehension running through me.
She offered me a hesitant smile. “Okay, so . . . we’re going to Texas.” She raised her hands and wiggled her fingers with a little squeal of excitement. “Surprise!”
Stunned, I stared at her. “We can’t go to Texas, Val. It’s a grueling drive. Which I know because I just drove it. And besides, I’ve got a job—”
“Oh, that?” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I quit it for you.”
“You what?” I shouted, my stomach pitching.
Valentina smiled a little wider. “Yeah, I called them a few minutes ago, pretending I was you, and told them today was your last shift because you had a sick relative out of town who needed you.”
I blinked, unsure of what to even say to that.
“Oh, please, you hated that job, Charlotte. And if you want it so bad, they said they totally understood and you could come back anytime. Fact is, I’m sick of watching you sit around and mope. If what you and Luke have is it, like the real-deal true love? Then you need to make an effort for it.”
“But what about what he wants?”
“Well, you’re clearly not happy here, honey. Plus, you said you think he has a problem with women leaving. If you want to prove to him how different you are, going back would mean the world to him.” Valentina shrugged. “Sounds simple enough to me. We can drive in shifts to shave some time off the trip, and when we get there, I’ll find a hotel to shack up in and make a fun vacation of it. Come on, say yes.”
I looked at the car and flattened my lips into a line as I tried not to let my excitement build. Just because I went back to Shady Grove didn’t mean that Luke would want to see me once I got there.
That fear lodged in my throat, so instead I voiced another of my fears that made me a little less panicky. “Do you think this hunk of junk can even make it that far?”
“Only one way to find out. All you have to do is get in and drive.”
I glanced from her to the steering wheel, thinking of the painful drive here. I hadn’t seen any of the sweeping desert landscape or the pretty sunsets. I’d been too distracted by my tears and the ache in my chest. The chance to see it all again . . .
Hell, who was I kidding? The chance to see Luke again?
I’d give just about anything for that.
When I slid into the driver’s seat, Valentina jumped for joy, literally hopped up and down before climbing in beside me, all smiles.
“You’re my hero right now. Look at you, all badass and awesome and taking a risk. I’m so proud of you.”
“Calm down,” I said with a chuckle. “We’re going to chase a boy. It’s not like we discovered the cure for cancer.”
To be honest, I was only playing it cool. If I had my way, I’d have done somersaults and cartwheels all down the street at the idea of seeing Luke again. This was who I wanted to be all along—a woman who knew what she wanted and grabbed life by the balls. I just needed a little shove from my bestie.
But what would Luke do when he saw me? What would he say?
Jesus, what if I got there and he wasn’t alone? Could he have found another girl in the week that I’d been gone?
Dread coiled through me at that thought, and Valentina and I discussed it at length over the next several hours, along with my speech for Luke once we arrived. We laughed and talked about what we’d do when we got to Shady Grove, and I promised her a day trip to Austin since she’d sacrificed so much for my love life.
• • •
Two days later, my heart started pounding as I drove through San Antonio.
Valentina woke up from her nap, rubbing her eyes as she blinked up at me. “Are we getting close?” she asked, her voice still husky from sleep.
“Yup.” My palms suddenly slick, I swiped one hand on my shorts.
I’d been so focused on how right things could go when I saw Luke again, I hadn’t really considered the alternative. It was only sinking in now that if he rejected me, I could be making the return drive tomorrow . . . completely heartsick. Vacation plan or no, there was no way I could stay in Shady Grove if Luke didn’t want me there. Every single inch of that town was a searing reminder of our time together. Staying there would be like pouring salt in a wound over and over again.
I sucked in a steadying breath and shot her a tight smile. “Almost there.”
“What are you going to do when you see him?” she asked, her drowsiness fading as she got that rah-rah life-coach look in her eyes.
“I’m . . .” I let out a deep sigh, trying to push out all my fears and negative feelings along with it. “I’m going to tell him that I’m not asking him for any promises; I’m just asking for a chance. That I’m going to stay and give this a try, and that no matter what he thinks based on his ex’s behavior, I know this can work. I’m going to tell him that I haven’t been the same without him, and that . . .”
“That?” she prompted me when I hesitated.
“I’m going to tell him that I love him.” I groaned and squeezed the wheel more tightly. “It’s crazy that we only spent a week together, but I fell hard and fast. I can’t go on without knowing I gave this a fair shake.”
“That’s my girl.” Valentina gave me an approving nod.
I practiced my little speech all the way down the interstate until I finally took the exit that led into Shady Grove. From there, the trip to the Wilder property was quick and easy. My heart thundered as I took the turn for the distillery, and when I reached the end of the road, my heart stopped beating altogether.
Not because I saw Luke, although that would have done it.
Nope, my normal bodily functions had ceased because I was certain the Mercedes parked in the little visitor lot next to the barn belonged to none other than one Prescott Billingsley the Sixth.
Dear God, what the hell is happening?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Luke
“You can’t be serious,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief.
The other man nodded, then tipped his glass to me. “Pardon my language, but it’s been nothing short of a fucking disaster. Her parents are calling me every day asking if I’ve heard from her, and she’s not picking up her damned phone. It’s been a total shit show.”
“To be left at the altar like that, though.” I let out a low whistle of sympathy.
I thought it had been bad to have an engagement ring returned to me. But to have all my friends and family see me get dumped on what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life? I could hardly imagine.
Worse yet, I couldn’t figure out why a woman would leave him. He was a decent-looking guy with sandy hair and nice, kind eyes. If he was looking to invest in someone else’s business, he was clearly well off and good with his money. In the few moments we’d spent together, he’d even cracked a joke or two.
I guess that just goes to show you. You never know what can happen in this life.
After the last week, I should have known that better than anyone. I’d barely slept a wink since Charlotte left me, and I’d known she was leaving. All I could think of was getting close to her again. Imagine this poor guy with his fiancée jilting him like that when he’d planned on forever with her? She must have been a real piece of work.
“Sorry, buddy. That sounds really tough.” I touched my glass to his again and we both took another sip. “I can totally understand why you’d be throwing yourself back into business then. Jesus, man,” I said, shaking my head in quiet commiseration.
“Actually, that’s only part of the reason for my visit.” He leaned in with a sigh. “I’m looking for someone.”
The floorboards creaked behind us and I turned in my chair, expecting to see Duke stroll in. What I saw made me nearly cough up the burning liquid sliding down my throat.
“Charlotte,” I sputtered.
Then I realized I hadn’t been the only one. The man next to me had said her name at exactly the same time. I glanced at him and turne
d back to Charlotte to find her gaping at him.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my surprise and joy at seeing her tempered by total and complete confusion.
“Speak of the devil,” he murmured, and Charlotte’s eyebrows inched higher.
Behind her, a slim woman with thick, dark hair edged into the room and held up a hand, waving to me shyly. “Hey,” she said in a voice richer than I’d expected. “I’m Valentina. And you must be Luke.”
“Uh, hi,” I said. “Maybe you could explain—”
Charlotte stalked toward the man beside me and finally seemed to find her voice. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Look, you might have left me but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring. You posted on Instagram, so I did some—”
“Snooping,” she spat out, cutting in.
“Research,” he said, correcting her, “and I came here to make sure you’re okay. Which, obviously, you are.”
This time, his eyes found mine and something clicked.
“Speak of the devil.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face and stood from my bar stool. “The girl you were talking about is Charlotte?” I asked, and he gave me a clipped nod. “I thought you were an investor—”
Charlotte let out a humorless laugh. “So, you lied to him to get to me? That’s low, Prescott. Who put you up to this? My parents?”
“You said your name was Scott,” I muttered, my gut clenching in shock.
Prescott? Prescott Billingsley was the guy sitting next to me—the guy who had apparently been nothing to write home about? Except that wasn’t true either, because she’d been fucking engaged to the guy. The whole time she’d been here, she’d been engaged. And she’d left him high and dry, just like Sarah had done to me. Worse than that, Charlotte had lied to me.
“I use the name in business so there’s no confusion. My father is named Prescott as well. And nobody put me up to anything.” He shook his head, then glanced at me. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t had a chance to explain, and I’ve never turned down a free glass of whiskey, which—considering you know Charlotte—I’m sure you can understand.”