Brodie pointed at Conall and Kade. “Out. Now. You two don’t even live here. There’s no need for you to hang around.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Kade said. “I have a great need to watch you and Katya try to act like you don’t hate each other’s guts.”
“I don’t hate Katya.” Brodie glared at all of them. It had no effect. “I feel nothing for her but irritation.”
“And yet,” Bain said as he sauntered into the room, “he tries to break his brother’s nose when that brother suggests Brodie step aside and let someone else have a run at his ex-wife.”
“Brothers don’t hit on their brothers’ wives.” Brodie paused before correcting himself. “Ex-wives. If we weren’t related, I’d have told you to go for it.”
Kade elbowed his twin. “You were right, Dar. This is priceless.”
“Shut up, carrot top,” Brodie snapped. As Kade was the only one of the seven brothers with rust-colored hair, it was an easy target.
“Is that the best you’ve got? You’re off your game.” Kade elbowed Darach. “He must be distracted; I wonder what’s causing it.”
“Aye, he’s distracted all right,” Conall said. “And it smells like he went overboard with the deodorant while he was busy thinking about other things. What happened? Did you forget to stop spraying? Or could you be trying to impress a certain girl with your spicy bouquet?”
His brothers thought that was hilarious.
Brodie patiently waited for them to calm down. “I used the normal amount of deodorant. You lot aren’t nearly as funny as you think you are.”
“Hey, don’t lump me in with them,” Bain said drolly. “I’m hilarious.”
Darach held up his hand. “A question. Even if you do manage to pull this off, you two still need to divide the land. Have you thought about how you’re going to do that, genius?”
“One thing at a time,” Brodie said, because the answer was no, he hadn’t a clue how they’d divide the land so they’d both get what they wanted out of it.
The doorbell rang, saving Brodie from answering any further dumb questions. “Right. She’s here. Everybody behave, and remember, not a word about this to anyone outside of the brothers—especially not Ma and Da.”
“Do we look like idiots?” Conall asked, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from Kade.
“Never ask a question you already know the answer to,” Kade told him. “And never set yourself up for an insult. Have we taught you nothing?”
Leaving them to their grumbling, Brodie made his way along the narrow hallway, past the living room and the steep staircase leading to the three small bedrooms and bathroom upstairs.
He threw open the front door to find Katya standing with a tight smile on her face. She spoke through her teeth. “People are watching.”
Brodie glanced down the street, and sure enough, a good number of his neighbors had suddenly found things to do out on their front stoops. At the end of the road, parked beside the little play area, was Katya’s truck. And it looked like Denise was struggling to remove a suitcase from it.
His eyebrows shot up. “Denise is moving in too?”
Tension radiated from her, but she kept that damn smile on her face. “Don’t even think about arguing.”
If nothing else, in the ten years Katya had been gone, Brodie had learned the wisdom of picking your battles. Instead of objecting, he turned and yelled into the house, “Katya’s friend needs help with her suitcases.”
Three burly men ran out of the kitchen, shoved Brodie aside, and fought to get out the door to reach Denise first.
“I call dibs,” Conall shouted.
“You can’t call dibs on a woman,” Kade objected.
“You two don’t stand a chance with me around, so you might as well give up now,” Bain said.
“I see they haven’t changed at all.” Katya watched them descend on Denise.
“What’s going on, Brodie?” Old Man Shepherd shouted from over the street.
Katya’s spine snapped straight, and for a second, Brodie worried she’d break a bone from all that tension.
“Can’t you tell?” Brodie called back, making sure his voice carried down the street to the rest of his neighbors. “Katya’s moving in with me. We’re getting back together.”
“The hell you are!” The old man snorted.
“I don’t think they believe us,” Brodie drawled, suddenly feeling very wicked. “There’s only one thing for it—we need to put on a show. Pucker up, buttercup. I’m coming in.”
Katya tried to glare holes in his head, all the while keeping that fake smile firmly in place. “Don’t even think about it. There are other ways of convincing the natives we’re a couple again.”
“Ah, but we’re past the thinking stage. And seeing as no other ideas are popping up for us, I’d say now is the time for action.” With a wicked grin, he wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her flush against him. “Let’s see if acting’s in your genes because we need to sell this.”
“Brodie, I swear, I will make you pay f—”
He quashed the rest of her objection with his lips.
13
Katya bit his bottom lip. Hard.
“Ow! If you draw blood,” he whispered against her lips, “I’ll retaliate.”
“Like you scare me.” There wasn’t a play in his gamebook she hadn’t seen before. She could handle Brodie MacGregor.
“Admit it,” he said between tiny kisses, “I might not scare you, but I definitely tempt you.”
“Yes, you do tempt me—to violence.”
“Liar.” He angled his head and attempted to deepen the kiss.
Katya used her tongue to push his out of her mouth, and the world’s dumbest duel commenced. It wasn’t so much a kiss as a battle to keep the other person’s tongue in their own mouth.
At last, Brodie’s lips moved away from hers.
“That’s how to do it!” Old Man Shepherd shouted as someone down the street whooped.
“You could use some mouthwash,” Katya said as Brodie held her tight. He did smell like the forest—something she’d never admit to Denise—and she couldn’t help inhaling him deeply. His strong arms around her and his firm chest against her cheek were sensations she’d missed almost as much as that forest fragrance.
Little about their situation was positive, but being able to indulge herself in aspects of Brodie she’d missed was something she’d happily accept—so long as they had to keep up the charade anyway.
So, she rubbed her cheek against his chest and said, “Time to let me go. That’s enough of a show for the neighbors.”
“Can’t let go until you tell me whether it was good for you,” he whispered, a smile in his voice.
Dickhead.
“I hate you,” Katya said sweetly as she snuggled into him for their audience. She slipped her hand underneath his open plaid shirt to smooth over the cotton of his T-shirt until it rested over his chest—where she twisted his nipple.
“Right back atcha.” He moved away quickly and took her hand.
“You really want to rub your nipple, don’t you?” she taunted as he led her into the house.
“That was underhanded.” Dark eyes met hers when he glanced back over his shoulder. “Just remember, turnabout is fair play. You got to play with my nipples, so I get to play with yours.”
“Try it and lose a finger.” But her traitorous body, conditioned to respond to him, had already melted at the thought of Brodie’s hands on her breasts. Honestly, some days she completely despaired of herself.
As soon as they were in Brodie’s living room, out of sight of his neighbors, she snatched her hand from his and put some distance between them. She made a show of wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Have you had your shots?” Katya frowned at him. “I don’t want to catch anything, and who knows where your mouth has been this past decade.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “Only the good places. Anyway, I could say the s
ame about yours.”
“Unlike you, I use mouthwash.” She looked around the room.
There were three mismatched sofas, all in a state of disrepair, with sagging seats and faded cushions. The biggest TV she’d ever seen filled the wall facing the sofas, and she counted three different game consoles plugged into it, with an assortment of controllers scattered around.
“Nice to see you’ve grown up while I’ve been gone.”
“I thought I was grown up.” Brodie perched on the arm of a sofa. “I had a wife, a plan for the future. Then she left me, and I thought, what the hell. Why save for a new couch when I can have the latest Xbox? It’s not like I have to think about the wife and kids or building a family.”
“Well, I hope you and your Xbox are very happy.”
A commotion sounded behind them before Denise strode into the room, followed by the three brothers, each carrying a suitcase.
Denise grinned widely. “Aren’t they charming?”
“They’re something all right,” Brodie said.
“I was going to go with mortifying.” Katya shook her head at the sight of the brothers all jostling for Denise’s favor.
“Aye, mortifying is the word for them,” Brodie said, and Katya realized it was the first thing they’d agreed on since she’d come home.
“Let me take this upstairs for you.” Kade snatched the largest suitcase out of Conall’s hand. He gave Brodie a quizzical look. “Where’s she sleeping?”
“With me,” Bain said.
“Nice try,” Denise told him. “But I don’t think so.”
“You don’t sound certain. Want me to help you make up your mind?”
To Katya’s shock, Denise actually blushed. Bloody MacGregors; they could charm the pants off anyone.
“She can have Darach’s room,” Brodie said. “I was expecting Katya on her own, so I only changed our bed. But Darach can bunk with Bain, he’s got the biggest room. I’ll get him to change his bedding.”
“Just in case you were wondering,” Bain drawled, “I’ve got the biggest everything.”
“I would excuse myself to vomit.” Katya watched Denise giggle. Giggle! “But did you say our bed?” she asked Brodie.
“We’re supposed to pretend we’re in a real marriage, so where else would you sleep but with me?”
It astonished her that he seemed genuinely perplexed by her question.
“I’m not sleeping with you, Brodie. Everybody in this house knows the truth about our situation, so there’s no need to keep up pretenses when the door is shut. Denise and I will take your room, and you can bunk with Bain.”
He looked horrified. “I don’t want to bunk with Bain.”
Bain nodded as he pointed at Brodie. “I like his plan better. In fact, why bother Darach? Why not move Denise into my room, and you can bunk with Brodie?”
“So, Brodie’s room for the girls it is then.” Kade lifted the heavy suitcase. “Come on, Conall, we’ll help Denise unpack.”
They headed up the stairs, followed by an amused Denise.
“I notice no one’s clamoring to carry my case.” Katya watched them go.
“If we’d been sharing a room, I’d have made the effort. But seeing as you had no problem carrying it when you left in the first place, I’m sure you’ll cope with getting it up the stairs.” Brodie headed for the door. “Beer, Bain?”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Bain followed his brother.
Katya picked up her case and made it as far as the bottom of the stairs before Darach appeared.
“Come on, I’ll take that for you,” he said.
“At least there’s one gentleman in the family.” Katya smiled at him.
“Don’t get too excited. Brodie told me if I didn’t help you, he’d bunk with me instead of Bain.”
She glanced toward the kitchen, curious, but there was no sign of Brodie.
“This is your room.” Darach carried her case into the room on the right at the top of the stairs.
“Thanks.” She smiled as she caught sight of Denise. Her friend sat on the edge of the bed directing Kade and Conall as they unpacked one of her cases and hung the contents in the space Brodie had cleared in his closet.
Denise patted the bed beside her. “Looks like we’re sharing.”
At the sight of the silver metal bed frame, Katya felt the blood drain from her face. It was the bed Brodie’s folks had given them as a wedding present. She spun around, ready to head back downstairs and claim a sofa.
Darach stood in her way. “What’s up, little sis?” He’d always called her that, despite her being two years older than him.
And because it was Darach, who’d always looked out for her, she gave him the truth. “I don’t want to sleep in that bed.”
Understanding softened his face. “He couldn’t get rid of it, said there were too many good memories associated with it.”
Katya’s throat tightened, making it impossible to get any words out.
Darach laid a hand on her shoulder, his touch gentle. “No other woman has stayed the night in that bed,” he said quietly. “We moved in here not long after you left, and he’s never had a woman stay overnight. Not that he hasn’t seen anyone….”
“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain.” She straightened her shoulders, pulled up her big girl panties, and turned back to Denise. “I hope you don’t hog the blankets.”
“It could be worse,” Kade said with a sly sideways glance at Conall. “Bain farts in his sleep.”
“Some things never change,” Katya told Darach.
“Aye, I’m still the only sensible MacGregor,” he said.
There were tea and biscuits on the living room coffee table because, apparently, Darach had confused a strategy meeting with afternoon tea. Brodie swallowed a sigh and sat as far away from Katya as he could while still remaining in the same room.
Darach had hooked his laptop up to the TV and set himself up beside it. The only thing missing was a lectern. Meanwhile, Brodie and Bain sat on the left-hand sofa, Katya was on the right-hand one, nearest the door, and Denise sat wedged between Kade and Conall on the middle sofa.
“Okay,” Darach said. “As you all know, we have one week to make these two look like they’re in love.” He pointed at Brodie then Katya before clicking the trackpad on his laptop.
The TV screen filled with the words “Operation Wedded Bliss.”
As the laughter tapered off, Darach frowned at all of them. “Aye, laugh while you can, but this is serious. We’ve got one week to convince Invertary, in its entirety, that they’re married in every sense of the word.”
That sobered everyone up fast.
The screen changed, and a weekly calendar appeared. Darach produced a laser pointer and used it to indicate the sections he wanted to draw their attention to. “I’ve filled in all the main events and places that will attract the most attention. You two need to turn up to all of them and make a spectacle of yourselves.”
“For the record,” Bain said, “when he says spectacle, he means PDAs, not wrestling on the floor.”
“Is this necessary?” By the sounds of it, Katya had already lost patience with the presentation. “Brodie and I know what to do. We’ve done it before.”
“No offense, Katya.” Darach was solemn. “You know how to be in a relationship with each other, you don’t know how to fake being in one.”
“I don’t see the difference.” Brodie had to agree with Kat on this one. They weren’t idiots; they could fake a relationship.
“The difference,” Darach said slowly, as though the speed of his words would help them understand, “is that when you’re in a real relationship, you aren’t paying any attention to anything that goes on around you. You have no idea how you look to other people. Whereas you two are only focused on everyone else. Without proper planning and support”—he indicated everyone else in the room—“this won’t work.”
“Think of it this way,” Bain said. “Describe what it was like when you were t
ogether for real.”
Brodie and Katya shared a look, and for a second, he could have sworn something zapped between them, as if the air had become electrified.
“We talked a lot,” Katya said, her gaze still on him.
“Snuck into corners to kiss,” Brodie added.
“We just wanted to be alone.”
He couldn’t argue with that.
“See?” Bain said. “That sounds inoffensive and private, which wasn’t anything like the relationship the rest of us saw. Was it, boys?”
“Hell no,” Kade groaned. “You had your hands all over each other and didn’t care who saw. I was tempted to bleach my eyes on more than one occasion.”
“You ignored everybody,” Darach said. “Sometimes, you’d look at each other and then leave the room—mid-conversation. It was really annoying.”
“Then there were the in-jokes,” Conall said wistfully. “I never got any of those.”
“The secret language,” Bain added. “One of you would say something weird, like ‘the coffee table,’ and then you’d both burst out laughing.”
“Or start kissing again.” Kade shook his head. “I’ve seen more of Katya than I’ve seen of some of my girlfriends.”
“Oi,” Katya snapped. “I’ve seen all of you naked. Don’t make me describe it to Denise.”
“Oh,” Denise practically purred. “Please do, and then you can also explain how you managed to see all the MacGregor brothers naked, because I don’t know whether to go ew or oo.”
“We were kids,” Kade hurried to say. “We all ran around naked, but we grew up.”
“Some of us grew more than others.” Bain waggled his eyebrows at Denise.
“No way,” Kade objected. “I grew way bigger than you.”
“You’re all wrong.” Conall preened. “The parents saved the best for last.”
“Okay.” Brodie held up his hands before his brothers started whipping out their dicks to measure them and see who’d “grown” the most. “We get it—Katya and I were inconsiderate morons when we were dating. But we weren’t that bad once we were married. We used to have you lot around for dinner all the time.”
“Exactly.” Katya pointed at him. “We were domesticated.”
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