by Khadijah J
“I have.” She said. I looked at her sideways. I was shocked, cause she seemed so sweet and innocent.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you all the way down there.” I told her. She smirked and scooted closer.
“Somebody had to make you really mad for you to think about committing a homicide.” I chuckled.
“You wouldn’t even understand.” She said. I lit my blunt and took a pull.
“Try me.” I said.
Somehow, we ended up laying down in the dark, with the TV on low, just talking. She surprisingly opened up about her ex, and how he pulled some shit too close to home, and I told her about how shorty pinned a kid on me for two years.
“Wow, she didn’t realize what she had. Especially you being committed to her at such a young age.” She said. She was laying between my legs, with her back against my chest.
“Yeah, I been dogging hoes ever since.” I slipped out.
“So, is that what you have planned with me?” She sat up and side eyed me. I chuckled.
“That shit slipped, my bad. Nah, if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here right now. Laid up on a nigga and shit.” I told her.
“Is that so?”
“Facts, I’m very blunt. If all I wanted to do was fuck you, I would’ve told you that from the jump. But I see something in you that I ain’t seen before.” I told her.
“I wonder what that is.” She asked.
“I’ll let you know when I find out.” I said, honestly.
We ended up falling asleep on the couch under her fuzzy blanket she brought. The next morning, I woke up smelling breakfast. I instantly sat up on the couch. She was on the phone and cooking. I stood up and went to take a piss and handle my hygiene. When I walked back around the counter, she smiled up at me, and I took a step back. This girl was so damn beautiful, even with these big bulky ass glasses, she was a star in my eyes. Her smooth ass skin, her bright ass smile, and dimples. She was a winner, her body was the icing on the cake. She had on some loose shorts and a tank, but her titties and ass was poking through the shorts.
“I ain’t know someone could look so good in the morning.” I smirked.
“Whatever.” She blushed.
“You mean thank you.” I told her.
“Thank you, Ken,” she smiled.
“Well I’m glad you’re safe. Your momma called me tripping earlier, so I’ll let her know you good.” Whoever was on the phone said.
“Okay, sorry, Shi. Love you, boo, I’ll talk to you later.” She said.
“Alright, sis, have fun, and remember I said. Don’t be afraid to pop that-” She started, but she hurriedly hung up. I started laughing.
“Damn, I was trying to hear what she had to say.” I told her.
“Nothing important.” She made our plates. We sat the table, she prayed, and we smashed.
“I got to go to this club later on tonight, scope it out, see if it’s worth owning a percentage. You want to be my date?” I asked. She made this goofy face.
“Well, don’t mind if I do.” She smirked.
We did some light shit for the day. After eating that breakfast, I took a fucking nap, shit put me straight to sleep. When I woke up, we got dressed and went to do a bunch of random ass shit. This girl was hilarious and spontaneous. She brought out the fun side of a nigga, instead of me being in my own head every fucking day. She was eating her ice cream cone as we headed back to the condo, and I was just staring at her. I took a picture, cause the sun, her hair blowing, and her natural beauty, was picture worthy.
“You so damn beautiful.” I told her.
“Ken, stop it. Thank you. You’re pretty handsome yourself.” She smiled.
We were running short on time. I got suited for business like I usually did when I was out on business. I put on my Versace frames and loafers. I ain’t never rock too much jewelry, just a chain, and that was it. I ain’t need to flex, my bank account did it for me. I knocked on her door and she yelled she was almost ready. I went in the living room and sat the fuck down on the couch. Just as I was about to roll up a blunt, she came strutting out the room in this tight ass red dress, that had a split in the front, revealing her smooth ass thigh. From her nude heels, to her smooth ass legs, to her slim waist, to her juicy ass titties, to her beautiful ass face, this girl was fucking perfect. Her hair was curly, and she had one side slicked down, while the rest framed her face.
“Got damn, I ain’t know you was coming out like that.” I told her.
“You ready, since you were rushing me?” She smirked. I stood up, and walked toward her, towering over her small frame. She looked up at me, and I stared at her juicy ass lips. She raised an eyebrow, and pursed them juicy motherfuckers together.
“You gon’ fuck around and get cuffed. Taken off the fucking market.”
“I hear you talking.” She smirked. I licked my lips and chuckled. Yanni Lee was gon’ be my wife, I could see it now. In only a short amount of time, but I knew that shit for a fact.
We went in the club, and it was jumping. I was seeing a lot of foul shit going on though. I wasn’t the only one, cause Yanni pointed some shit out too. Dude sent up a bottle of Patron to us in our section. I wasn’t drinking that shit, but Yanni was taking a few shots, before she mixed it with some cranberry juice when she was good and tipsy. Walking out the club, we made our way to this expensive ass restaurant. We were seated and looking at the menu, I was just staring at it.
“I don’t want none of this, I want a juicy, greasy burger, and some onion rings.” She blurted out. I chuckled and she giggled.
“I’m sorry that was too loud.” She apologized. I stood up, grabbing her hand, and we headed to get my baby a burger at Rudford’s. She tore that food up, and had a nigga cracking the fuck up. We made it back to the condo, with me carrying her into the condo. We went to our separate rooms, changing. I was laid up in my bed, back against the headboard, rolling up. She came strolling in, and climbed in my bed, sliding against me, chilling.
“Well, damn, no knocking or shit. Just get in my shit like we cool like that.” I joked.
“I think I like you, for real. But I’ve had my heartbroken before. Or maybe it’s just the liquor talking.” She rambled.
“I’ve had my shit broken before too. Vowed to never let another. So if you break my shit, you ain’t gon’ live to tell a motherfucker about it.” I told her.
“You threatening me, Kentrell?” She sat up.
“It ain’t a threat.” I told her, lighting up my blunt.
“Could you honestly see us together? As a couple? Look at me, plain Jane, not all dolled up, with my goofy ass glasses.” She joked.
“Shit, you already mine.” I told her, with a straight face. She smiled at me and shook her head.
“I’ll believe it when I see it. We on vacation, and everything’s good now, but back home, we barely talked. So I just need that same energy back home.” She shrugged.
“That’s my fault. But I’mma show you, you mine. You and them fucking bifocals.” I joked. She busted out laughing, and just seeing her smile, made a nigga smile instantly. Yeah, she was definitely gon’ be mine.
NINETEEN
YANNI
Kentrell was a man of his word. We had been going strong and heavy since we got back from Cali. With us both being busy, we always made time for each other, whether it was job pop ups, or late at night, to fall asleep on the phone together. I was falling for Kentrell so hard and fast, I had long ago dismissed the thought of him not catching me. The past week though, I had been trying to hold it all together. It was my brother’s birthday today, and I always took at least three days off, just to mentally prepare myself. I literally, shut down, because I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems, and no one listened anyways. I knew Kentrell, or Shi, would listen, but I was so stuck, and used to wiping my own tears, I just pushed them away. I didn’t want them to see me crying anyway.
Today being the actual day of my brother’s birthday, I was just a mess. He wo
uld’ve been turning twenty-seven today. I was going to go and get a chocolate cake, it was his favorite, and some vanilla ice cream. I got up, handled my hygiene, and threw on a Champion pink shirt, and some shorts. I put on my Air Max, grabbed my jean jacket, hat, and sunglasses, before walking out the door.
After running to the bakery, and the store to get some balloons, I made my way to the cemetery. Walking up to where my brother’s tombstone was, I placed the flowers next to his tombstone. I did my usual, wiping the dust and what not off it. I placed my blanket down and sat next to him.
“AJ, I brought our favorite chocolate cake.” I said, out loud. I sat there smacking on a piece of cake and enjoying the gentle breeze. I was trying to hold it all together, but it was becoming harder, and harder.
“I think about you every day, big brother. I wonder what you look like as a grown man now, and not the scrawny, Frankenstein looking, little boy, that I envision.” I chuckled.
“Well, Momma is doing okay, now that your father is out of prison, they are inseparable. Mylo, well, I’m sure you see and know more than me. I don’t know what happened to us, but a lot has changed. Even Mom has changed a lot since Dad came home. We used to be so close, but it’s different now. He came home, and it was like he instantly, was on my case about everything, even though I feel like I’ve done everything right. I mean, I went to school, I graduated, I’m a successful, black woman, and I did it the right way, right?”
“So why the fuck is he always riding me?” I said, louder than intended.
“When you become a rich ass pharmacist, don’t forget about your big bro, okay?”
“Of course, I won’t, silly. You’ll be right there with me. Maybe I’ll hire you as my maid.” I chuckled.
“Ahhh, that’s out cold.” He laughed.
“Aye, yo, AJ, come make this run with me.” His friend called out to him.
“Alright. Alright, pretty girl, I’ll be back.”
“Whatever, AJ, goodbye!” I rolled my eyes, and started walking off, but he stopped me.
“What I tell you about that? Never goodbye, big head, always see you later!” He smiled, and jogged to the passenger side of his friends car.
“Never goodbye, always see you later.” The tears welled up in my eyes at the memory I had of my brother. It didn’t soften the blow that they never found out who killed my brother. Everyone just went along like the shit never happen, like they didn’t know who did it.
“Happy Birthday, AJ!” I quickly wiped the one tear that escaped, and stood up to let the balloons go. I gathered my things quickly, and sped home to get back into my bed. No music on, just my thoughts, wandering wildly in my head, and the images of my brother taking his last breath in my head. I quickly pulled into my parking spot and made my way into my apartment with my stuff. I snatched off my hat and sunglasses, grabbing the wine bottle I had in my fridge. I grabbed a glass and dang near overfilled my cup. I went and popped a seat on the couch and kept drinking and wiping my tears. I eventually cried myself to sleep.
“Just remember, you can be whatever the fuck you wanna be, Lee Lee. I’ll always be rooting you on, sis! You a fucking brainiac, bruh, I wish I was as smart as you. I wouldn’t be in my situation I’m in today, if I was half as smart as you.” He told me.
“AJ, I’m not that smart.” I laughed at him. He smacked his lips, wrapping his arm around my neck, as we steady walked.
“Forreal, when you become a pharmacist, don’t forget about your big bro.” He continued.
“I won’t, bro, I promise. Just make sure you around. I’ll admit, I was worried about you this time, AJ,” I told him.
“You don’t ever gotta worry about me, little sis. I’m always Gucci,” he smiled, wrapping his arm around me. I smiled, as we walked into our community, his arm still around me.
“AJ,” someone yelled, he turned around as shots rang out nonstop. It sounded like midnight on New Year’s. AJ quickly tackled me to the ground, as I screamed bloody murder. I had never been in this situation before, and I had pissed on myself. I heard the tires screeching, and people started coming out their buildings to be nosy.
“AJ, I think they’re gone now,” I told him, finally opening my eyes, wishing I hadn’t. My brother was struggling to breath. My eyes bulged outta of my head, staring at him, as I climbed from underneath him, my heart literally, breaking into pieces, as I looked down at him.
“AJ,” my voice cracked. He looked at me with this scared look in his eyes, as he took his last breath. The sun was shining bright as hell, only for someone to step in front of it, as I sat there. I watched everyone fade away, and finally, I looked up at the person standing over me.
“I’m forever rooting for you, baby sis. I’m so proud of you, big head! I love you, pretty girl!”
I heard his voice loud and clear. It jolted me out my sleep and broke me. I had never in my life experienced something like that. It was so real, I could see him, and hear him, it felt so real. Someone was banging on my door, but I couldn’t even move from my seat. It was happening, I was finally breaking down. I could only be strong so long. I lifted my head up as my landlord opened the door, and Ken followed behind him. I wiped my tears. I quickly stood up, and the look of concern was all over Ken’s face.
“Baby, why are you crying? I been calling you all day, did something happen? What’s wrong?” He walked up to me.
“I’m okay.” My voice cracked.
“I got it from here, man, thank you.” Ken told the landlord. He quickly walked out, and Ken walked up to me, lifting my head up to look him in his beautiful eyes.
“Why you in here crying, baby? What’s wrong?” He stressed.
“I’m okay, Ken, really.” I sniffled, wiping my face.
“Everybody been concerned about you. Shi called me, and said she was about to call the police.” He told me. I sat on the couch, and as soon as I closed my eyes, everything replayed in my head.
“I’m not okay.” I started.
“Somebody hurt you? I can handle whoever whatever, Yanni, you just gotta let me know.” His voice was serious as he sat next to me. I looked up at him.
“Can you bring my brother back? Can you take these images outta my head? Nobody knows what the fuck I go through, I couldn’t sleep for years. I couldn’t, I can’t.” I broke down weeping, and Ken quickly swept me up in his arms holding me tight, cradling me like a baby.
“I was only sixteen. My brother was only eighteen, he was murdered. Right on top of me, he protected me, acted as my human shield. Why would he do that? Why would they take my best friend from me? My only brother!” I wept in his arms. Ken just listened to me cry and weep in his arms, and blow snot everywhere, crying about AJ and Taylynn. Eventually, I calmed down, and nodded back off again.
I didn’t know when I made it to my bed, but I was in my bed, and snuggled up against Ken. I sat up, because I had to pee. When I went to get out the bed, Ken’s eyes popped straight open, and his grip around me tightened.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” I told him. He pecked me on the forehead and let me loose. I glanced at the mirror, and I looked an entire hot ass mess, but I felt relief, calm, for some reason. I looked like shit, but I felt better. After relieving my bladder, I turned the shower on. I ended up washing my hair, and everything. I stepped out, and Ken had put my big t-shirt I wore to bed, my sleep body cream, and fuzzy socks, all on the bathroom sink. I smiled, because he was so thoughtful.
I put my hair in four plaits to stretch it out and put on my bonnet. I walked out and made my way to the kitchen, since I smelled food. I walked around the corner, and caught Ken stuffing his face with a taco. I noticed the flowers on the table, and my favorite Reese’s Pieces. I swear, he was just amazing.
“Awww, thanks, babe. I don’t know why you’re so sweet to me.” I smiled.
“You my woman, that’s why. I thought for sure it was that time of the month again, so I ain’t wanna be unprepared, like last time.” He pulled me into his arms.
“Thank you.” I stood on my tippy toes and pecked his soft lips.
“It’s nothing, beautiful. Just doing what I’m supposed to.” I grabbed a taco and smashed it. We went in the living room, sitting and eating. He had rolled two blunts, and we smoked. I instantly felt relaxed, and ended up laying out on him, as we passed the blunt back and forth, talking.
“How come you never told me about your brother and best friend?” He asked.
“I just never felt the need to. I didn’t want to open up that can of worms, because of that reason.”
“What reason?” He raised an eyebrow.
“The hurt. I’ve always just dealt with it on my own, and in my own way.” I told him.
“You mean putting it to the back of your mind, and trying to preoccupy yourself, so you don’t think of it?” He asked.
“I’ll never get that image out of my head. Just this past year, I finally started getting a normal night of rest, because I couldn’t sleep. I never dealt with it, people thought I had lost my mind when my brother passed. But when Taylynn was murdered, it was like I was numb. I was beyond hurt. I had just started coping with the fact my brother, best friend, was gone. Me and Taylynn grew closer, and a year later, she’s taken from me too. So I guess you can say I didn’t want to deal with it, but I didn’t know how. I saw how my family was coping with drugs and alcohol, and I didn’t want to do that.”
“Every year around this time, I get really moody, and isolate myself, so that people won’t have to deal with me. I’d rather wipe my own tears and stuff. I’ve always had to be strong and hold it together, so that’s what I’m accustomed to. But today, it was like AJ came to talk to me, personally. He told he was proud of my big head, and that he loved me, and was rooting for me. It seemed so real, Ken.” I stressed.
“It was real. He’s looking over you, and knows you been holding on to this shit for years.” He told me. I smiled up at him.
“Thank you, Ken, and I’m sorry you had to deal with this.” I told him.
“Sorry I had to deal with this? You sound crazy as hell.” He frowned.