by Kathy Lyons
“Look, I know that didn’t go so well, but werewolves are really volatile, especially in the newbie stage. And we didn’t even plan for Bing. We got him by accident. So don’t go picking fights with people, okay? He’s had his entire life turned upside down, and he’s not handling it so well.”
That was a really rational thing to say. Really great with the comrade-in-arms thing. Except as Josh felt fury physically rise in his gorge, he knew that rational wasn’t going to cut it right then. Because his life had also been turned upside down. But all the change had shown him was that he was still the weak, puny creature he’d always been. And no amount of science was going to stem the tide of rage at that single thought.
Which is when Nero must have realized he’d said something wrong. His eyes widened and his hands went up in a placating gesture. “Um, maybe we should take a moment to reassess—”
Before he could say anything else, Josh attacked in the one way he always won.
Chapter 10
“ARE YOU fucking kidding me?”
Words started boiling out of Josh. Lots of words, most of them in a multisyllable, complex grammar fury. Nero could follow the words. Well, most of them. But after the first “Are you fucking kidding me?” Nero tuned them all out. He didn’t need to hear the words, he needed to listen to Josh’s body and understand the things that Josh’s really big brain was ignoring.
First thing he checked—always—was whether a werewolf had eaten. Nero hadn’t missed that Josh managed a couple bites of eggs at most. That meant his body wasn’t fully grounded in the here and now.
“Are you even listening to me?” Josh demanded.
“Every word,” Nero said.
Josh hadn’t waited for an answer but kept screaming about his dissertation and mutant something or other. Nero focused instead on the color of Josh’s skin. A guy in this much fury ought to have flushed ruddy, but Josh was getting paler by the second. And though he was gesturing and pointing, the movements had only average force behind them. About human normal for a guy his size, which on a werewolf was low. Any moment now Josh would get unsteady on his feet and Nero would have to catch him. No problem, but it was hard waiting for the guy to collapse before he could help. At the moment Josh was too wrapped up in his anger to allow any kind of support.
“…and you have the fucking gall to tell me that pretty boy….”
He had to watch the eyes. Josh’s were growing darker. His pupils were dilating as he lost focus and connection to his own body. That was bad, but not dangerous. But if the eyes started to glow, the shit would really hit the fan. That would mean Josh was moving to an energy state before a shift, and it was way too soon to go there. Without being grounded back in his human body, Josh risked dissolving into energy and dissipating forever. He’d just sparkle away like fireworks. Nero had watched it happen once and the memory stuck as the most beautiful, horrible thing he’d ever seen. He’d be damned if he let that happen to Josh.
“…I need my phone….”
Josh’s voice had lost its pitch, the words cracking or dropping.
“…fucking abduct….”
Grammar was going too as sentences became phrases, words became salad.
“…touch… couch… shit!”
There it was. The knees started to buckle, but Nero was there to catch him.
“No!”
“I’ve got you.”
“No!”
“I’m keeping you from hurting yourself.”
“No!”
Nero knew that each denial was shouted with fury, but Josh was losing breath. Instead of a loud exclamation, it came out as a puff of air. And even that was weakening.
“We need to take care of your body, Josh.” He scooped up the man and carried him quickly into the gym. He didn’t want to take Josh back into the cage room, and he for damn sure didn’t want to go into the examination area. That was guaranteed to freak out everyone. Since he knew the gym area and where all the electrolytes were, he made a beeline there, kicking the door open with one foot while maneuvering Josh’s lanky body through the opening.
“No.”
He read the word off Josh’s lips because there was no sound behind it. And damn if his heart didn’t break at that sight. He’d known Josh all of three days, and in that time, he’d seen the guy go from a charming, fun showman readying for his big moment on stage, to this limp, ashen man too weak to even shiver. His body temperature was plummeting and…
Oh fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
A light had just sparked behind Josh’s eyes.
“Don’t you fucking go there, Josh! You stay right here with me!”
He invested all his energy in those words, verbally willing Josh to listen. And it worked—for a moment. Josh’s eyes widened and his mouth parted in shock. Best of all, the sparkle seemed to fade a bit, but it was hard to tell in the brightly lit gym.
As quickly as possible, he set Josh on the mat, and then he dropped down to his knees behind the guy.
“You’ve had your say,” Nero barked. He wanted to moderate his tone, but his heart was beating too fast for any control. His next words would determine whether Josh lived or died, and he couldn’t screw it up. “Now I’m going to tell you something you haven’t thought of. Something that brain of yours needs to know.”
The shimmer behind Josh’s eyes faded a bit, and Nero realized he’d found the way in. Josh was a thinker, and so he’d latch on to new information like a lifeline of espresso shots. And so Nero pushed it, saying the one thing that he was pretty damn sure Josh had never once heard before.
“I screwed up your life,” he said. “Me. No one else. I fucked you over, and I did it so royally that you’re never going to be the same. It’s my fault. Hate me, because I sure as hell deserve it.”
Josh didn’t respond, but he also didn’t dissolve into pretty sparks of energy. Better yet, his eyes remained fixed on Nero’s face, but that would change the moment Nero stopped talking. So he didn’t. He let his confession roll out, with all its humiliating truth.
“I know you’re a few months from graduation, about to get a doctorate. And I’ve just flushed eight years of education down the drain. Because you’re not going back to that lab. You’re not publishing any paper. We can’t afford the exposure.”
Josh’s eyes widened, and Nero rushed to the next horrible truth.
“And your best friend Savannah? You can’t talk to her. Not for a long while. I’m so fucking sorry for that, because I know you don’t make friends easily.”
A sheen of tears burned in Josh’s eyes, and that ripped straight through Nero’s heart.
“There’s more,” he rasped. Fuck, he was not going to allow himself the luxury of choking up. He’d done this to the man. The least he could do was own up to his own bastardy. “You know your big event at the con? I don’t know if you remember. You were freaking out and a wolf, but everyone thought it was the most fantastic thing they’d ever seen. They were on their feet and cheering you as if you’d won the Super Bowl.” Shit, not the Super Bowl. Not a sports reference. “Like… um… a Nobel Prize.” Did they cheer at that? “Or… um… a cool Star Wars thing.” Could he possibly suck more at geek references? “Anyway, they’d never seen anything like it, and you would have been the toast of the con. Years from now, they still would have talked about it.”
He swallowed.
“But we had to wipe their memories.”
Josh’s mouth dropped open slightly, but then his jaw flexed. He was trying to clench his teeth. That was good. Anger was good. And it sure as hell grounded a man in the here and now.
“There’s a magnetic pulse we can do to disrupt memories. It’s not close to 100 percent, but it messes with short-term memory. Maybe some of them will remember what happened, but in a vague kind of way. Specifics will be lost, and the first thing to go will be your name. They might remember that something amazing happened, but they won’t know you’re the one who did it.”
Josh’s color was comi
ng back. His eyes were narrowing, and his brows pushed together. If ever a geek could look like he was about to become a linebacker, Josh wore that expression now. He was pissed and growing more so by the second. Which was a good thing, because it meant he wasn’t going to disappear.
“Your family ties aren’t strong. They’re not going to realize you’ve disappeared for a while. And worse, even if they do, your dad is just going to put it down to you fucking up again. Your father’s a first-class bastard, and that was a positive in our book. The faster your family washes their hands of you, the easier it is for us to make you one of us.” He dropped back on his heels. He wanted to touch Josh’s hand. He wanted to soothe them both with a caress or a kiss. Something that shared empathy and support.
But what Josh needed right now was his fury, not a warm blanket of comfort. So Nero straightened away from Josh and told the damning truth.
“I am 100 percent responsible for the shitshow your life has become. I knew all these things, and that made you more attractive in my mind. You were the first guy on my list, even before all the others. And now you have the opportunity to make me pay. Get stronger. Get a handle on your abilities. The moment you’re safe around other people, we can’t keep you here. We have laws like everybody else, and that’s one of them. We’re not allowed to enslave you.” He knew because he was usually the one reminding people of that law when certain über-powerful beings forgot that little detail.
“You’re weak right now because you need electrolytes and blood sugar. Finding out how to balance a new physiology is hard for everyone at first, but you’ll master it. And then we’ll have no ability to keep you here. You can walk right out and go back to your life. Maybe you’ll lose six months, tops, but you can finish school, reconnect with Savannah, and do your whole con show again another year. And you can do that knowing full damn well that you have fucked me over as much as I fucked you. Because we need scientists. We need doctors, chemists, and necromancers. Or antinecromancers. I don’t fucking know because I’m a grunt. And without you, we get screwed over, me most of all. Because it was my job to recruit you, and my job to save the new werewolves when they eventually go out in the field, and my job to figure out how to defeat a fire blast. So if you really want to make me pay—like in blood, pay—then walk away. Force me to watch my people die. Again. And know that you will have destroyed my life just as effectively as I have dropped a bomb into yours.”
His words ended, and God, he felt like he’d torn open his chest and exposed his own beating heart. He watched Josh’s eyes, hoping to see some softening there. Nice that there wasn’t any glow, but there sure wasn’t any reassurance there either, let alone forgiveness. No, Josh just lay on the mat glaring at Nero, and he had that right. So Nero forced himself to continue.
“There are sports drinks in the refrigerator over there. I’m going to get you one. You’ll feel better if you drink it. Choke down as much as you can and wait fifteen minutes. You’ll see what I mean. You’ll feel stronger. And once you do, we can talk some more. I swear, I’ll listen to everything you want to say. Cuss at me, insult my parentage, whatever you want, because I deserve it. Okay?”
Josh didn’t answer, but he didn’t object either. So Nero got an energy drink and a straw, and then he helped Josh sit up, propping him up against the weight rack. He sat there quietly, watching as Josh took a single sip. The guy grimaced as it went down, but a minute later he took another. And later another.
It took twenty minutes, but eventually the bottle was empty and Josh had color in his cheeks. His eyes were the steady green color of new grass, and his body temperature had risen to werewolf normal, which was a little hotter than vanilla humans. He didn’t object when Nero brought him a protein bar, and he steadily chewed that.
A half hour passed with Nero watching over a silent Josh as he doggedly gave his body what it needed to survive. Salts and water. Protein and rest. After forty-five minutes, Josh was looking healthy again, but just in case, Nero risked a question.
“Better?”
Josh nodded.
“Think you can stand up? I can take you to the library now. Or you can go back to your room. Or we can talk. Whatever you want.”
Josh didn’t speak, but he did roll onto all fours before pushing to his feet. Movement was good, so Nero got to his own feet as quickly as possible. He was ready to grab Josh if he teetered, but wasn’t going to help unless asked. Every man had his pride, and he didn’t want to trample on Josh’s.
A moment later Josh was upright and looking steady. Excellent.
“So do you want—?”
Pain exploded through his jaw and face. His head snapped back from a vicious right cross. Fuck, he hadn’t even seen it coming. He adjusted as quickly as he could, but he was reeling. Jesus, who had taught—?
Another blow, this time to his left side. He felt his body gather the energy. He could be a werewolf in a second, and then let the bastard try to take him down.
But he didn’t go there. He didn’t even raise his arms to defend himself. Josh had the right to beat the shit out him. And Nero deserved every blow.
Which is exactly what happened. Punch after wicked punch hit him until his eyes were swollen shut, his jaw was broken, and…
There it was. Shot to the temple.
Unconsciousness beckoned, and he dove straight into that cold, black void.
Chapter 11
JOSH PULLED himself back with a horrified jerk. His hands were bloody, his teeth ached from clenching his jaw, and the smell…. God, all he could smell was sweat and blood. He felt surrounded by it.
Nero was unconscious on the mat, his face a bloody mess. Nausea rolled in Josh’s stomach, but he fought it down. He had to get help.
After stumbling out of the room, he dashed to the upstairs door, hauled it open, and bellowed, “Help! Someone—medic!”
The response came gratifyingly fast. He’d barely taken a step back toward Nero when a woman burst past him and sprinted for the gym. He followed while more people came thumping down the stairs. He was moving slowly, feeling disassociated with the throbbing in his hands and the twist in his gut. He watched in that numb state as the woman felt at Nero’s neck for a pulse.
Oh fuck. Had he killed him? He didn’t even remember hitting the guy, but the rage still churned inside him. He remembered the way Nero had detailed all the failings in Josh’s life. No friends, no family, no fame. And the purpose and connection that Josh had cobbled together into a life had just been obliterated by Nero. That bastard had done it to him, and….
“Get it under control!” the woman snapped as she shot Josh a glare. “Why the fuck would you do this?”
Josh swallowed, only now realizing he’d been growling. That a raw animal fury was boiling inside him.
“Answer me!” the woman snapped. Was this Captain M? Probably, given the way she’d taken charge.
“He confessed.” That didn’t begin to cover what the bastard had done, but that’s what came out. And before he could find his way to more words, she rolled her eyes.
“Of course he did. Jesus,” she said, dropping a hand onto Nero’s shoulder. “I knew this was a mistake. New werewolves are always angry, and Nero is desperate to be punished. God damn it!” She squeezed his shoulder. “Wake up, idiot. You need to shift and heal your face.”
There was anger in her tone, but also fear. And as more and more people crowded into the gym space, Josh smelled so many things—eggs and bacon, formaldehyde, baby powder deodorant, and spices. Someone’s body odor was acrid, another’s had a fruity scent, and yet another’s had a metallic tang. Added to that was the scent of his own sweat, as well as Nero’s blood. God, he couldn’t block that copper taste and the incessant beating of four words through his brain: What have I done? What have I done?
His stomach clenched, and he stumbled backward. There were voices everywhere, some soft, some anxious, and one in particular barking out orders.
“Get him the trash can!”
; Someone shoved a wastepaper basket into his hands, and he lost the fight of trying to control his body. It felt like his stomach was twisting itself into rope, and everything was being squeezed out.
He vomited sports drink and protein bar. And then he continued to throw up absolutely nothing. Just pain, disgust, and he didn’t know what. When his stomach finally ended the purge, he was on his knees, someone was pressing a hand to his forehead, and the scents had grown immeasurably worse.
“You done?” the woman asked.
He hadn’t the strength to refuse to answer. He nodded weakly and whispered, “I think so.”
“Laddin,” she said, and the hand on his forehead disappeared.
“Yes, Captain?” he answered.
“Can you take care of that and then bring back my phone?”
Josh’s head lifted at the idea that she had a phone. And she was letting Laddin carry it.
Meanwhile, the ball of energy being addressed responded with a crisp salute. “Right away, Captain!”
The woman shot Laddin a “seriously?” look before focusing on someone standing to Josh’s right. “Wiz, you’ve got Mr. Angry Puker while Nero recovers.”
The guy in question dropped a heavy hand on Josh’s shoulder and squeezed hard. “Not a problem.”
Then she looked down at Nero. “I don’t think we should move him. Who knows what’s broken in his face.”
“It’s probably the first real sleep he’s gotten since….” Wiz let his voice trail away, but Josh had no trouble finishing the thought.
Since his entire team was burned to a crisp.
How could he be so angry at a guy and so wrapped up in sympathy for him at the same time? The riot of emotions was dizzying, and for a moment Josh really wished he was the unconscious one on the floor. Instead, he was held there to stare at the bloody mess he’d made of a guy who… who….
“You going to hurl again?” Wiz demanded as the grip on Josh’s shoulder squeezed painfully tight.