“You’re lucky to have them and I’m grateful that you did.”
Chase gave her a half-hearted smile. “If I couldn’t have my mom they were the next best thing.”
She couldn’t imagine what his life was like, losing his mother at such a young age wasn’t something he could just get over. She imagined he had a hole in his heart that would always be there because no one could fill that void, but she wanted to find a way to make that hole smaller.
She reached across the table and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. He looked up at her, his dark gray eyes softening. They didn’t say anything to each other, and that’s what she loved about Chase. When it came to him words simply weren’t needed.
Bex looked over her shoulder toward the kitchen and back to Chase. “Do they have kids? Terry and Walt.”
Chase shook his head. “No, but they’ve adopted quite a few in this town as their own.”
“Including you and your sisters.” Bex smiled.
“We’re just one of the many. I’m actually surprised they never had kids of their own. Terry is very maternal.”
“I’m sure they have their reasons.”
“What about you?” Chase asked. “Do you want kids someday?”
“I think so. I was an only child, and it got lonely so I wouldn’t want just one.” The image of a boy and girl popped into her head. The girl with dark hair and gray eyes like Chase and the boy with her green eyes and Chase’s smirk. Startled by the vivid image she cleared her throat and focused on the mug in front of her. “What about you?” she asked before looking up and meeting his gaze. “Do you want kids?”
“I never thought I did,” he said. A distant look formed in his irises as he glanced out the window. A deep-seated sorrow that tugged at her heart. “After everything I’ve been through, the thought of bringing a kid into the world with the possibility of enduring half of what I did just seemed wrong.” The corner of his lip quirked slightly as he brought those gray eyes back to her. “Now I’m not so sure.”
His words reached inside of her, warming her blood and causing her stomach to flutter. Was he saying, he could imagine having kids now because of her?
“What changed your mind?” she asked.
“My life was rough, and I would never wish it on anyone, but for as rough as it was, there was also some really bright spots.” He ran a hand over his face as he glanced out the window. “If I’m being totally honest, I’m terrified I’ll be a terrible dad like my own father, but I think what I endured because of him would actually make me an okay dad.”
“I think that’s going to make you a great dad.”
“I hope so.”
Bex’s heart skipped a beat as the conversation morphed from the hypothetical to real time. She was thrilled that Chase was open to children and not just for herself. In all honesty, they lived on different coasts and their career choices couldn’t be further apart, but it warmed her heart to know that children were more than a possibility for him. They could be a reality. Chase was turning out to be the best man she’d ever known, and he deserved the happiness of a family.
They’d been overly careful so she knew there was no possible way they could have an unexpected pregnancy, however, if they ever slipped up, and she were to be pregnant with Chase’s child, she wouldn’t be upset over it. She’d actually be happy and that scared her a little.
She had been career focused for so long to think she’d be willing to put it on the back burner to start a family was unexpected but also exhilarating.
People would tell her that her career was over. The baby would ruin her body, and while that was once the most important thing to her, it wasn’t anymore. She’d be willing to lose out on roles to be a mother especially if it meant her and Chase would be bringing a baby into the world together.
What was she even thinking?
The thought was ludicrous really. She and Chase barely knew each other…but that wasn’t exactly true.
She knew he ran a hand over his face when a conversation took a turn he wasn’t prepared for. And that he preferred to go for a walk rather than watch TV or a movie. He smiled in his sleep and it was different from the smile he showed when he was awake. It was a content smile that came with peace and relaxation.
They may have only known each other for a short time, but she felt this strong connection with him. He was open and honest with her and because of that she did know him, better than anyone she ever had a relationship with. Most of all she knew that he’d come into her life unexpectedly and now she was finding it hard to imagine her life without him.
But she couldn’t stay here forever. She had a film scheduled to shoot next month. The contracts were already signed and there was no way she could back out now. Not that she would. The idea of staying here with Chase, starting a family was alluring but this wasn’t one of her movies. A happy ending wasn’t already written for them and she had no idea what to expect. Which was why she had to stop living in a fantasy before she wound up back in Los Angeles, broken hearted and alone.
Terry hand delivered their meal, interrupting Bex’s thoughts.
“Here we are, fresh off the griddle!” she exclaimed as she placed the plates on the table. “I’d say enjoy but that’s already a given.” She gave them a sassy wink then turned on her high heel and headed back to the kitchen.
“This looks insane.”
“Wait till you taste it,” Chase said, holding his fork up. “You ready.”
“I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life,” she said.
“Then let’s dig in.”
Bex cut a good size piece of pancake and brought it to her mouth. Her eyes instantly fell shut as a moan escaped from her lips. Just as Terry had said it would be, it was delicious.
Once they were finished, Bex insisted on paying even though Terry all but refused to let her. She finally convinced her with a promise she’d come back again.
Hand in hand she and Chase headed over to Serenity Glass Blowing Studio, and when they stepped inside Bex was taken aback by all the beautiful pieces of hand blown glass on display. She had seen it from the window outside, but up close she could see the exquisite detail.
“I’ll be right there,” a woman’s voice travelled from the back of the shop.
“Take your time, Kate, it’s just us,” Chase called back to her.
Bex took her time looking around while Chase stood back and watched her. She was just about to study the detail of a vase when Kate came to the front. Her strawberry blonde hair was tossed up in a messy bun. She was in a white t-shirt and a pair of ripped jeans that looked loose enough to be comfortable yet still flattered her curvy figure.
“You came!” she exclaimed.
“I sure did,” Bex said as she shook her hand. Bex admired a hand-blown vase filled with a variety of multi-colored glass flowers. “Your pieces belong in museums.”
“You’re too kind,” Kate said. “But please continue.”
Bex laughed as she took in the detail of each flower. “This is great. I have no way of killing it,” Bex said.
“Not a plant person?” Chase asked, an amused gleam in his eye.
“Not in the least. I once killed a cactus.”
“Isn’t that impossible?” Kate said.
“Tell that to the cactus.”
She went back to browsing and admiring each piece. Bex loved everything in Kate’s shop. She had the money to buy her entire inventory and plenty of space to put it, but while the temptation was there, she didn’t want to look like some big shot who was throwing her money around. Not to mention, while she loved everything, she really didn’t need every single piece even if she did want them.
“How are you?” Chase asked Kate.
She looked down at her stomach and smiled. “Couldn’t be better.”
“That’s good to hear. You look great. How far along are you now?”
“Only three months, but you know, it took so long to get here it feels like much longer,”
Kate said and there was a sparkle in her blue eyes that spoke of not only joy but triumph.
Bex knew that Kate had trouble conceiving. Sarah had asked her if she knew of any specialists when Kate had been struggling to get pregnant. By the time Bex got her a number, Kate had gotten pregnant.
Bex didn’t know Kate but she remembered when Sarah had told her the news, she had been ecstatic as if it was her own family.
Instead of buying the whole shop like she wanted to, Bex picked a few of her very favorites, and spoke with Kate about a custom piece for her foyer.
The craftsmanship of her pieces was so remarkable and Bex was in awe of Kate’s talent. She had no doubt she’d be able to create her something truly magical.
“I’m going to sketch a few things out for you. Will you be here in a couple days so we can go over the finer details?”
Chase’s attention suddenly snapped to her. It had always been known that she would eventually leave, but it wasn’t something they discussed, and she didn’t want to discuss it. The minute they did she’d have no choice but to accept it, and she wasn’t quite ready for that yet.
“I’ll be here,” she said.
“Perfect!”
“I’ll see you then.”
She gave Kate a wave and followed Chase out. He held the door for her then took her hand as they made their way down the stairs and toward his car.
A familiar sound grabbed her attention, and she forced herself to keep walking as she slipped her sunglasses on.
“Bex! Bex!” she heard, and she knew it wasn’t an eager fan. “What do you have to say about those pictures? The accident? Were you drinking?”
“What the hell?” Chase said and spun toward the sole paparazzi. Bex tried to stop him but her attempt was futile. “Who the hell are you?” Chase demanded.
“Chase just ignore him.”
Bex pulled on his hand, a pleading look in her eye. He finally started to walk with her and his truck was so close. She ignored the flashing light that followed them, the ridiculous questions that she wouldn’t answer in a million years.
“Is this your boyfriend?” the photographer asked. “Or just someone to pass the time?”
The question caused the blood inside her to go molten hot. She looked up at Chase whose usual calm reserve was lost to a fiery anger. He spun before she could stop him, grabbing the guys camera and shoving him back.
“Leave us alone before I shove that camera up your ass!”
He might feel like he was doing the right thing, but Bex knew how easily stories got manipulated. Next thing you know this guy is calling foul and trying to sue Chase. Chase didn’t need that kind of problem in his life.
“Chase!” Bex cried out. “Stop!”
Her voice broke through his anger, and he turned to her. She silently begged him to walk away and let the guy go. Finally, with his hands clasped tightly into fists, he stepped back.
“Let’s go,” he gritted through clenched teeth.
She hurried toward his truck and got in. The photographer caught up to them, shouting questions at the window while continuing to take their picture. Chase grabbed a hoodie and tossed it at her. She quickly hid beneath it even though she already knew the damage was done.
Chase pulled away and the photographer yelled one final question.
“When are you coming home?”
Chapter 15
Bex could feel the tension rolling off of Chase. She didn’t know what to say to make it better. This was her life; if he couldn’t handle one photographer then they’d never be able to have a real relationship. Back home it wasn’t uncommon for twenty of them to be waiting for her outside a restaurant or follow her to her car.
Her life was a never-ending game of hide and seek. She didn’t get to call timeout or even make the rules. She had to learn how to be smart, take advantage of back entrances, setup decoy cars, and never let the paparazzi see her at her worst.
It was working well… until it wasn’t. They never caught her doing anything remotely bad. She lived up to her role as America’s Sweetheart and then one incident turned into a feeding frenzy. Every tabloid wanted documentation of Bex Shepard’s fall from grace, and she let her guard down, giving them exactly what they wanted.
She couldn’t ask Chase to be on his best behavior because she didn’t want to control him. He was free until she walked into his life complicating everything. But even if given the chance to take it back, she didn’t think she would.
It was selfish, but she cared for him too much and didn’t want to imagine life if she had never met him.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said as he pulled in front of her place and put the truck in park. She didn’t know what else to say, but her heart hurt and her mind was racing a mile a minute.
“What the hell are you apologizing for?” he snapped.
She threw her hands in the air, the frustration of the day finally catching up to her. “I don’t know. For putting you in that situation.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“Then why won’t you look at me?” she asked, her voice cracking.
He turned then, his gray eyes as dark as onyx. “Because I hate that you saw me like that.” He ran his hand over his face. “I lost control. I always knew I had my father in me but… I’ve never let it surface or at least not since I was a kid.”
Bex didn’t know what she had been expecting but it definitely wasn’t that. The dark stones of his eyes weren’t anger, they were disappointment in himself, embarrassment and doubt. She moved closer to him, grabbing his arm.
“No!” she said. “You’re not your father.”
His gaze swung to her, uncertainty plaguing his normally bright face. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better. Truth is, if you didn’t stop me, I would have pounded that asshole into the ground.” He shook his head. “I’m a firefighter. I’m supposed to be saving people not putting them in the hospital.”
“You stopped and walked away.”
“I didn’t want to.”
She grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. “But you did.” The darkness in his eyes began to fade. “When your father lost control,” she said, “was he able to stop?”
“Usually not.”
She ran her finger down the hard line of his jaw. “That’s not you. You might think you have your father inside of you, but you don’t. Paparazzi have a way of saying things to get under your skin. They push buttons on purpose to get a reaction.”
“So I gave the bastard exactly what he wanted.”
“It was your first encounter. Next time you’ll know to tune them out.”
“How do you do that?”
“I guess it’s kind of like that mom thing where they tune their kids out. Once the noise becomes too much, your mind helps you to ignore it.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear, and she closed her eyes, savoring his touch.
“It must be hard going through life tuning the world out,” he said.
Bex shrugged. “It’s not always easy, and I have to admit, since coming here I haven’t had to, and it’s been nice. I feel like I’m appreciating life again instead of just going through the motions.”
“What are you going to do now?” he asked, sorrow filling his tone. The sound reached into her heart and squeezed. She couldn’t make promises about her future, and she didn’t want to think that far ahead.
“I’m not sure.” She linked her arms around his neck and kissed his lips. “All I care about is right now.”
She climbed over the seat and straddled him. His hands knotted into her hair and he pulled her mouth to his. She parted her lips, deepening the kiss and letting the deep strokes of her tongue soothe him.
His lips moved with hers, his tongue meeting her thrust for thrust, but the passion that exploded between them whenever they came together was lacking.
She pulled back, looking into his eyes that were dilated with passion but also filled with unease.
“What’s w
rong?” she asked, pressing her hand to his cheek.
He closed his eyes and nuzzled into her hand. “What are we doing?”
“We were kissing.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” He ran a hand over his face and looked out the window before bringing his gaze back to her. Tight lines formed around his eyes, and she hated to see his apprehension. “I mean us. What is this?”
It was a conversation she purposely avoided. When the photographer called it out as they drove away she’d secretly hoped that Chase didn’t hear him.
“We’re having fun,” she said.
“I think you and I can both agree that this is a lot more than just two people having fun.”
“I care about you.” The admission wrapped around her heart like a warm hug, filling her with joy.
“I care about you, too. Can’t that be enough for now?”
He touched his fingertip to her bottom lip then pressed a soft kiss there. “For now,” he said.
She linked her arms around his neck and brought his mouth back to hers. “I want you,” she said against his lips. “Don’t make me wait any longer.”
He opened the door of the truck and slid out with her in his arms. She held on tightly, their lips never leaving each other’s as he made his way up the porch steps.
He took her key and eased the door open. Willy’s head lifted from his perch.
“Don’t even think about it,” Chase said as he quickly shut the door and carried her toward the couch.
He placed her on the cushion and lowered himself over her, caging her with his arms. His eyes were distant though and she needed him to get out of his own head.
She reached up, cupping her hand around his hard jaw. He turned his head, kissing her palm.
“Look at me,” she said and he obliged. “Stop thinking about the future and just be here with me now. I need you now. We’ll figure the rest out. I promise.”
Charmed by Chase Page 12