The Change Up

by Quinn, Meghan

  “Why the hell not?”

  She shakes her head some more. “No, Maddox.” Her voice is firm, and it literally pisses me off.

  “Do I not have the right image for what you’re looking for?”

  “No.” Her brow crinkles. “I’m just not going to ask another thing from you.”

  “You’re not asking, I’m telling you I want to help.”

  “Because you feel like you need to.” She shakes her head one more time. “Not happening, Maddox. Okay? I’m serious. You are not helping with the shelter. Let me do this on my own.”

  I don’t like it.

  Not one fucking bit.

  She has no clue. I’ve said the words to her, told her I wouldn’t be where I was without her. But she still has no clue. Maybe because I hadn’t given it as much thought either until she arrived on my doorstep. When every memory of my successes includes her, every recollection of getting through the beatings, the grueling training hours, the waiting to hear if I was going to be recruited includes her. How can I not want to give back? She’s never asked anything of me—I had to beg her to come stay with me. Her confidence in me, her strength she instilled when I was feeling my lowest, her love . . . fuck, her love got me through so much.

  She’s my person.

  Why wouldn’t I want to lend my hand in any way I could? It’s why I told her to move in with me, because I knew she wanted to get out of Woodland, and this was her chance. This was my chance to return the favor. And I still want to return it. Even if she won’t let me.

  Too bad for her, I have the week off, and it looks like I’m going to have to do some work to do of my own . . .

  * * *

  I can’t drop the smile that’s been eating up my face ever since I left my meeting with a few of the boys. Linc and Jason met up with me for lunch today, and I asked them if they’d help me with a project.

  Of course, Linc immediately asked if it had to do with Kinsley and when I said yes, Jason clapped his hands like a moron and made kissy noises. Jason then proceeded to grill me about Kinsley, asking me all about her: if I’d made a move, if I want to make a move, if I love her, if I want to marry her, if I want to have babies with her, if I see myself at the age of seventy with her at my side, if I want to die The Notebook style, hand in hand on the bed with her . . .

  And I fucking said yes to every single question, in my head of course, because I’m not a damn fool. I did tell him that I was feeling more for her than just friends, which then made Linc say I told you so, so many damn times that I actually chucked a piece of bread at him. They never make it easy.

  After the teasing subsided, I told them about the shelter, what it represents, and how Kinsley is bound and determined to find homes for these animals. They agreed. We need to visit the shelter, and we need to raise some awareness through our Instagram accounts. I plan on surprising Kinsley in the process.

  Fuck, I’m excited. I wish we could go immediately, but the boys have meetings and appointments that are holding us up, so I’ll just have to wait a little bit, which is fine. Kinsley won’t expect it.

  I insert my keys into the lock of the door, open it up, and stop mid stride into my apartment.

  Music is pumping, the kind of music you hear in a Banana Republic dressing room, there are white cloths all over my furniture, and Kinsley is wide-leg squatting with a camera posed at her eye, while talking to . . .

  What

  The

  Actual

  Fuck?

  Sitting on the couch is a bloodhound, wearing one of my two-thousand-dollar suits, a tie, and a top hat—the top hat is not mine.

  “That’s it, Herman, give me those sultry eyes. Just like that. Make love to the camera. Think about all the bones and treats in your future. Just like that, oh yeah, look at those sad, dark eyes. You’re eating up this camera.”

  I slam the door, startling both of them. Kinsley jumps about five feet in the air while Herman howls a blood-curdling sound so loud that I feel it reverberate off my body.

  “Maddox, you startled us.” Kinsley rushes to Herman—apparently—and soothes him with a pat to his head. “It’s okay, he’s a friend.”

  “Am I?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest. “I thought I said no animals in the apartment.”

  “Animals?” Kinsley looks around the living room as if she’s truly confused. “All I see in this room is a pure gentleman, no animals.”

  Christ.

  “Kinsley.”

  “Hmm?” She smiles wide. “No animals,” she says a little softly.

  I point my finger at Herman. “That’s a dog.”

  “What?” She acts as if I’m crazy. “Are you losing it? Maddox, I think you need to lie down.” She slowly walks toward me and takes me by the arm, trying to guide me to my bedroom. That’s when I see a bag of dog food and a dog bed tucked to the side.

  Umm . . . what the hell does she think she’s doing?

  “It’s okay, I know the season has been hard on you. You’re bound to get delirious at some point. But I assure you, Herman is a gentleman and just came to me for some fancy photos for his fiancée. Who doesn’t love a man in a tux? Am I right?” She pats my back. “Let’s just lay you down for a rest. Clear that head of yours.”

  “Kinsley, I’m not an idiot.”

  “Oh we know, we know. No one is calling you an idiot, trust me. Smartest guy in this building. But you are tired. Must have been all those late nights thinking of Clyde.” She pushes at my chest. “Go ahead, lie down—”

  She’s cut off when I pull her down on the bed and roll on top of her, pinning her to the mattress.

  “Cut the bullshit.” I lean down so our heads are only a foot apart. “Why is there a dog in our apartment?”

  Her face softens as she says, “Aww, you called it our apartment.”

  “Don’t change the subject. What was my number-one rule, Kinsley?”

  “Umm . . . refill the ice tray?” she asks with an adorable smile that I almost give in to.

  Holding strong, I say, “No animals.”

  “But Herman—”

  “Is a dog,” I finish for her. “If the long ears don’t give it away, the snout and the bark when I entered the apartment did. What is he doing here?” She looks to the side, but I force her back to look at me. “Don’t lie to me.”

  She bites her bottom lip again and the movement just about does me in. What I wouldn’t give to pull that plump lip between my own teeth, to see what she tastes like. I know what she smells like—vanilla and lavender. That lip balm she’s always wearing, is it sweet? Waxy? Does it taste like how she smells?

  “Well you know, it’s a funny story.”

  “I don’t think I’m going to laugh.”

  “You might.” She winces and smiles at the same time; it takes everything in me not to smile as well. “You see, there was a poor man who was just diagnosed with stage four testicular cancer—that’s not the funny part—he had two bloodhounds that needed placement. Of course, we took them in, but you see, Herman gets very scared and startles quite easily. The other bloodhounds—even though his own kind—were making him incredibly nervous to the point that he was shivering in his kennel so hard I thought he might have a heart attack, so, I called all our foster homes to see if they could take Herman and they’re all full. So you know, that left me with no choice, but to bring him back here. You saw him, Maddox, you wouldn’t want him shivering and shaking all night alone in his kennel, unsure of what was happening to him. He’s already been through enough, so can we give him a few nights here, away from the rowdy dogs? He’s an old fella and he only has three legs, and the least we could do is give him some peace.”

  I don’t say anything. I just stare down at her.

  “And if you tell me I need to take him back, I will cry. I will cry all the tears, and I will be sure to cry over you so you feel every tear that falls from my sad, heartbroken eyes. I will squat over you and drench you in my salty, somber tears, to the point that it turns into w
aterboarding. I will waterboard you with my tears.”

  Still nothing. Just staring.

  “Did I tell you how nice you look today? Did you get a haircut because wow, look out, ladies, Mr. Sharp is coming through.”

  Blinks.

  She grows more nervous.

  “You won’t even know he’s here. He’s quiet, besides that one bark. That was because you startled him and me for that matter. If I was a dog with three legs, wearing a suit, would you toss me to the wind? Or would you keep me? You would keep me, I just know you would, and guess what? He barely moves during the day, he has his own bed, and he really likes to sleep. He barely has any teeth left, so he has soft dog food and if you really want a weird sensation, you can stick your finger in his gummy mouth and let him chew on your finger. He’s quite gentle, but boy, what a thrill. He really rocks your world, you know?”

  I still stay quiet, which drives her to the brink. She crosses her arms over her chest defiantly and says, “I’m not taking him back and that’s final. He’s staying here. Do you hear me, Maddox? He’s staying here.”

  * * *

  “Oh Herman, it’s not you, it’s him,” Kinsley says while she straps his harness on. And it has to be the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen.

  My suit was removed—apparently she was trying to spice up his adoption profile with some fancy pictures—and that’s when she revealed his lack of fourth leg, made a giant show of it while she was walking him to the door.

  Now she’s bent down next to him, lifting his giant floppy ear so he can “hear” her better.

  “You’re such a good boy and even if the other dogs scare you, it will be okay. Just think of the warm, calm, quiet apartment I’m staying in and hopefully it will make you feel better in your heart. Can you do that for me, Herman?” The pathetic dog with the wrinkled forehead, black-rimmed eyes, and saggy jowls, just stares at her with the saddest fucking expression I’ve ever seen. I know the minute Kinsley catches the look because she sucks in a deep breath and presses her hand to her eyes.

  Fuck.

  She’s going to cry.

  She fixes the harness.

  Sniff.

  Yup, here it comes.

  When she speaks, her voice wavers and is weak. “Be strong, Herman. Okay? You got this, buddy.”

  For fuck’s sake.

  Growling, I drag my hand over my face and turn away as I call out, “He can fucking stay, but keep him away from me.”

  “Really?” I hear Kinsley pop up and sprint over to me where I see her tear-ridden face gaze up at me. And if her voice didn’t crack me, her face would have. “You really mean that?”

  Hope. That’s what I see through her tears and just that one look brings me to my goddam knees. In this moment, anything she asked me I’m pretty sure I would say yes.

  Holding steady, I say, “He can stay.” And then much firmer, I add, “But he’s it. I swear to God, Kinsley, no more. Do you understand?”

  She nods vigorously. “I swear, just Herman. Oh my God, Maddox, you are amazing.” She leaps up into my arms, and I catch her as she wraps her legs around my waist. I stumble back a few steps from the unexpected leap and just as I catch myself, she grips both my cheeks and kisses me directly on the lips.

  A tingling sensation spreads through my body as she slowly peels away and smiles at me, her face only a few inches away. My heart trips and starts to tumble, hitting every rib on its way, shocking me, filling me with so much goddamn excitement that my veins thrum for more.

  She just fucking kissed me. Not a friendly kiss, not a cheek kiss, but a direct kiss on the lips. Fuck, I want more. I want so much more than just the light press of her lips, a slight graze of her mouth. I want her mouth to part so I can taste every inch of her.

  But before I can make a move for more, she sighs, rests her forehead against mine and whispers, “Thank you so much, Maddie. You’re making me so happy right now. Thank you for showing your kind heart and helping out this beautiful friend of mine.” And then she hops down and walks over to Herman and tells him the good news while rubbing under his ears.

  I watch as the girl I’m madly in love with talks to a dog she only recently met. Her “friend.” She whispers softly, brings her cheek to his, holds him tightly, and then pats his head. Watching Kinsley with animals? It’s a beautiful fucking thing. She truly, from the depth of her soul, loves every single one of them. Her passion runs through every inch of her and it only makes me fall for her harder . . . even if I don’t want a dog in this house.

  “He’s so excited,” Kinsley says, looking over her shoulder. “Just look at him.”

  “Yeah, really excited,” I say sarcastically. The dog has not changed his facial expression one bit—still looks like the droopy dog that he is.

  “He is, his tail is moving. Look.” Kinsley points and I glance over her to catch the smallest of movement to his tail. “See, he’s so grateful.” Kinsley gives Herman a hug and then pulls away. “Oh, where are my manners? I never introduced you two.” If you haven’t noticed already, Kinsley treats all animals like they’re humans, and I think it’s one of the reasons they flock to her. She’s like a modern-day Dr. Dolittle.

  Kinsley waves to me to come closer and when I reach her, she takes my hand in hers and tugs me down to his level. I squat in front of the three-legged Herman and give him a gentle stroke along the back of his neck, feeling a sorry for the guy.

  “Don’t shit in my house.”

  “Maddox,” Kinsley chastises. “Don’t be rude. Shake his paw and introduce yourself.”

  “He’s going to fall if I lift his paw.”

  Kinsley shakes her head. “No, he’s smart, he’ll go back on his hind legs. Go ahead, don’t be scared.”

  I’m not fucking scared, just irritated.

  Sighing, I lift up his paw and just like she said, he falls back to his hind legs as I give it a quick shake and say, “I’m Maddox, don’t shit in my apartment.”

  “Can you please not swear in front of Herman? He’s dignified. I’m pretty sure he has a monocle somewhere but he keeps hiding it from me.”

  Another thing about Kinsley and animals: she becomes delusional. She creates these human thoughts of them in her head, where they actually act and do human-like things . . . like a bloodhound wearing a monocle. Then she’ll laugh about the thought for a while. Little crazy, but also weirdly endearing.

  I give him another pat and then scratch him behind his ear before standing. Kinsley joins me and she quickly pulls me into a hug, pressing her head against my chest. Hell, if this is the kind of reaction I’m going to—

  “Can you please take him out to go to the bathroom? I need to shower.” And before I can respond, she skips down the hallway and shuts the bedroom door.

  You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

  * * *

  This would be hilarious if it was anyone else.

  But it’s me.

  So it’s not fucking funny.

  Instead of going to the bathroom like a good dog would when he sees a green patch of grass, Herman sits next to it and people-watches, observing people walking by, his head slowly moving back and forth as he observes. And if I were Kinsley, I’d say he’s looking for his owner. It really does look that way, but I’m not going to say that out loud.

  I’ve given up at this point and have taken a seat on the bench next to Herman to contemplate the ramifications of me saying yes to letting this dog stay with us. Within minutes of agreeing to the new roommate, I’m already sitting here, waiting for him to “make.”

  “You’re lucky she loves you, you realize that?” I say to Herman who, ever so slowly, turns his head to look at me. Giant brown eyes rimmed in black stare back at me. Massive wrinkles in his forehead make him look so goddamn pathetic, it’s hard to even be mad at the guy for flipping my life upside down today.

  “And you’re lucky I love her, otherwise you’d be on your way back to the shelter right about now.” I shake my head. “Can’t say no to her w
hen she looks at me with those teary eyes. Takes me back to our childhood, when she begged me to help a stray. I always ended up helping someway, even if it meant sleeping in a shed with a cow.” I drag my hand over my face. “Fuck, she has me wrapped around her pinky and she doesn’t even know it. She has no fucking clue how I feel about her.”

  Herman makes a small noise as he stares at me. “You know, don’t you? You can see it, the way I look at her, long for her, beg for her to hold me a little bit longer.” I breathe out a long breath. “Shit, I’m just as pathetic as you, but maybe even worse.”

  I pat him on the head and he moves until his head is resting on my leg. Figures.

  “I have to say, you earned your residency in my apartment, and you didn’t even have to do anything.” I stroke his ear. “She kissed me, man. On the lips.” Dreamily I stare up at my building. “She’s never done that before and it was . . . fuck, it felt amazing. I wanted more, so much more, but I don’t think she’s there. I don’t think the kiss on the lips meant anything to her, like it meant the whole world to me.” Herman’s eyes are soft, kind, and he makes it oddly easy to talk to him. “I’m not sure if she wants more with me to be honest, but I know I need more.” I pat his head. “If you help me score the girl, I might actually be okay with you staying in my apartment . . . as long as you don’t shit in it.”

  I give him a stern eye and then stand from the bench. I tug on his leash and he tugs back, only to lift one leg and pee on the unsuspecting tree right next to him. While staring at me. Intently. I shudder.

  Maybe all he needed was the talk.

  * * *

  Kinsley sits cross-legged on the bed, a giant smile on her face, as she watches me get ready for the night. She’s already showered and ready so is now waiting for me. It’s cute.

  Really fucking cute, seeing her in her tank top and matching shorts.

  She’s always been beautiful to me. Special. And as she’s grown into the woman she is today, I realize, she’s even more beautiful than ever. It’s not just her looks, because yes, she’s fucking hot with her platinum-blonde wavy hair, ice-blue eyes, and full pink lips. Her personality . . . her heart. That makes her positively stunning in my eyes.