by Addison Cole
Katie petted Lacy’s curls. “Pretty,” she said.
Lacy leaned down and whispered, “Can I touch your beautiful hair?”
Katie nodded. A wide, crooked smile graced her cheeks.
Lacy stroked Katie’s hair, then opened her eyes wide and feigned surprise. “Oh, Katie. I’ve never felt such softness. You’re so lucky to have your mommy’s hair.”
Dane had never given much thought to having children of his own, and now, watching Lacy with Katie, he had a fleeting thought about how good Lacy was with them. She was patient and kind and attentive to everything they said. He briefly envisioned what she might be like as a mother.
Katie ran to her mother and climbed into her lap. She rested her head against Sheila’s chest. Sheila stroked her hair.
“Say thank you,” Sheila said, planting a kiss on Katie’s head.
“Thank you,” Katie said.
Charlie sat beside his father, watching Lacy like a hawk, narrowing his dark eyes and looking up through the bangs of his wavy dark hair.
“You know what I think?” Lacy asked. “I think Charlie is going to be even more handsome than your daddy when he grows up.” She winked at Rob, who smiled and put his arm around Charlie.
Charlie’s eyes opened wide. He looked at his father. Rob nodded, and Charlie sat up straighter, smiling for the first time all evening.
Dane reached for Lacy’s hand and squeezed. He loved watching Lacy’s warmth and attentiveness to Rob’s kids. Their relationship was moving fast, but it felt too right to slow it down. Lacy brought her hand to her lap, and Dane drew his eyebrows together.
She smiled, but he sensed a hesitation in her eyes. He leaned toward her and whispered, “Is everything okay?”
She nodded. “Fine.”
He didn’t miss the thread of tension in her voice.
“Lacy, since the men are going diving tomorrow, I was thinking that maybe we could spend the day together, take the kids to the fair or something,” Sheila offered. She brushed her long hair behind her shoulders. “I mean, if you don’t mind hanging out with a couple of kids.”
“I’d love that,” Lacy answered.
Dane watched Sheila place a hand on Rob’s arm and could almost feel the wave of love that passed between them.
“I also wanted to thank you guys for helping Rob the other day,” Sheila said. “Marriage can be hard sometimes, and we kind of fell down the rabbit hole for a few days. It can be hard when you’re separated for long periods of time. But Robby’s working on his…stuff, and I’m working on mine.” She smiled at Rob. “We both realized how much we didn’t want to lose each other.” Sheila turned back to Dane and Lacy. “Thank you for being there for him.”
“Rob’s like a brother to me.” Dane looked at his best friend and diving partner; one tree-trunk arm rested across the back of Charlie’s chair, the other on his lap. A five-o’clock shadow peppered his tanned cheeks. He looked strong and healthy, so much different from when Dane had picked him up at the police station.
“I’d walk to the ends of the earth for him,” Dane said. “He’s a good man, Sheila, and I’m just sorry that I didn’t notice that things were falling apart so I could step in and help.”
“Thanks, Dane,” Rob said with a flush on his cheeks.
“We all have our rough patches. We’ll work on schedules, Sheila. I know it’s rough with the kids, and I appreciate you allowing Rob to travel so much. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” Dane said.
“Neither do we,” Sheila said, turning a warm gaze to Rob.
DANE AND LACY said good night to Rob, Sheila, and the kids, and then they drove to the cottage to take a walk along the beach. The temperature had dipped as the evening wore into night, and they snuggled against each other as they walked on the cold sand.
“I really like Sheila a lot. I’m looking forward to hanging out with her and the kids tomorrow,” Lacy said.
“I’m glad. She’s a really nice person, and Rob’s a great guy, despite his recent issues,” Dane said.
“I know. You don’t have to try to sell me on him. I like him a lot, and it’s obvious how close you two are,” Lacy said.
“Were you okay back there? I thought I picked up on something…” Dane let the sentence hang in the air between them.
Lacy wrapped her arm in his and rested her head against his shoulder. “I had a talk with Danica tonight. She brought up some stuff that’s probably way too early to be thinking about, but now I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“What kind of stuff?” Dane asked.
“Like what happens when this trip is over.” Lacy looked up at him.
Dane stopped walking and faced her. Her eyes were wide and worried as they searched his. He held on to her, probably too tight, but the thought of losing her again rattled his nerves.
“I’ve been thinking about that, too,” he admitted. “I don’t know if it’s too early to think about it or not, but it’s where my mind traveled…” He shrugged. “Lacy, seeing you with Rob’s kids made me think all sorts of things that are probably wrong to think about so soon.”
“Yeah? Like what?” she asked.
Kids, marriage, growing old together. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he wanted her to know how immense his feelings had grown.
“The same kind of thing. What’s next. Kids.”
Lacy touched his chest and smiled. “Kids? Really?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was watching you with Katie and Charlie, and for the first time ever, my mind put me and children together in the same sentence, led by you.”
“I love kids.” Lacy’s eyes lit up. “Gosh, you’re thinking even further ahead than I am.”
Dane pulled her close and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I don’t know what it is between us, but I can see us together when we’re old and gray. What I can’t imagine is a life without you by my side.”
“Me either,” Lacy said. “It’s the in between I can’t figure out.”
“I’m not sure what the answer is. I know you love your job. You came here to save your career.”
“I came here to be with you,” Lacy said.
“I’m just a bonus to your fluffy little vacation on the Cape. Oh, and a path to a promotion,” he teased.
“You’ve got me all figured out. So, Mr. Braden, what happens after the fluffy little vacation is over?”
I wish I knew.
They walked hand in hand. The sounds of crashing waves filled the gap in their conversation.
“We’ll have to make better travel plans,” he said. “See each other at least once each month.”
“Once a month?” Lacy shot a worried look at him.
“Lace, I travel all the time. You know that. I want to be with you every second, but short of you quitting and traveling with me…”
She turned away.
He’d been afraid to even approach the subject because she’d been adamant about how much she loved her job, but now, he couldn’t not ask.
“Would you consider that? Coming with me? I’d like nothing more than to have you by my side every second—I know you can’t be on the boat while I tag, but every other second.”
Lacy’s arm stiffened. She bit her lower lip, and when she turned to face Dane, it was sadness that he saw, clear and present, in her heavenly eyes.
“It’s okay, Lacy. We’ll figure something out,” he assured her, though he had absolutely no idea how they ever could.
“Can we see each other more often? Once every two or three weeks? I can come to you once each month and you can come to me.”
Her pleading tone pulled at his heart. “We can try, but realistically, going to Maui or even Florida for a weekend can be exhausting if you’re doing it all the time, just like flying from those places to Massachusetts would be.”
“Do you want to see me more often?” she asked.
Dane dropped to one knee and held her hand in his.
“Dane?” Lacy’s other hand flew to her
mouth.
“Lacy Snow, I want you by my side every second of every day. I know you promised not to fall in love with me, so will you friend me?” He smiled, then added, “Will you friend-with-benefits me? Forever?”
Lacy laughed. “What does that mean? Like on Facebook?”
Dane stood again and brushed off his slacks. “Come with me. You don’t ever have to admit to falling in love with me. Just live with me. Be with me. Be my friend-who-can’t-be-in-love-with-me forever.” He was sure they both were way past the friendship pact, but he was afraid a real marriage proposal might scare her off. Still, hope soared through his chest as he thought about the possibilities. “We’d wake up together every day, Lace. Spend our free time knocking around villages or reading, or whatever. I don’t care what we do. I just want you there with me. What do you say?”
Her smile faded, taking Dane’s hope with it.
DANE’S FRIENDSHIP PROPOSAL stole the wind out of Lacy’s lungs. Was he serious? Give up her job and travel with him? What would she do all day? She couldn’t go on the boat with him when he was working. What about all the years she’d worked her butt off for World Geographic? That meant something to her. It meant a heck of a lot to her. She looked at Dane’s hopeful eyes, the way his chest heaved up and down with each excited breath. She wanted to jump into his arms and say, Yes! Yes! I’ll be your friend-who-can’t-be-in-love-with-you forever! But how could she do that?
“I never expected a friend forever proposal,” she said.
“I didn’t expect to give you one,” he admitted. Dane touched her cheek. “A pact is a pact,” he teased.
“Like blood sisters when you cut your palm and mix your blood with your best friend’s,” Lacy joked, but inside she wasn’t laughing. She didn’t know how to navigate their relationship into the future, even though she wanted to do exactly that. “Dane, would you give up your career for me?”
“Come on, Lace. I built an entire foundation from nothing,” he explained.
She nodded. “I know.”
“Think of the life we’d have together. We could go anywhere,” he said.
“As long as there are sharks,” she pointed out.
“Okay, you have a point, but, Lace, the alternative is being together part-time,” he said.
“What if something happened to you? What if I gave up everything and, I don’t know, you get eaten by a shark or something?” Lacy realized the viability of her question, and she clenched her jaw to keep the new worry from taking over.
“Lacy, that’s not going to happen. I told you, my job is less risky than driving down the street.”
“But what if?” she asked. “Then I’d have given up everything, and I’d have no home, no stability. No job.” No Dane? No, just no. She didn’t even want to think about that.
He stepped closer, resting his forehead against hers, just as he’d done after they’d made love. His whisper was a caress to her tumbling heart as it careened out of control toward the edge of a cliff she desperately wanted to avoid.
“I’m careful, Lace. I won’t let anything happen. Rob wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”
She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Sheila had been clear about what a part-time relationship did to a family. Then again, Rob and Sheila were working things out, so maybe there was hope. Lacy wondered if she could—or should—give up her job. She needed time to think, but her mind was running in circles.
“Don’t worry, Lace. We’ll figure this out together. I know how important your job is to you, and I know how much Fred respects your abilities. I don’t want to jeopardize your happiness or your career. But honestly, I don’t want to lose you, either. We’ll figure it out.” He kissed her forehead. “Let’s go back to the cottage and fall asleep in each other’s arms. No sex, no deep discussions. Let’s just be close.”
Lacy felt like they were trapped in a bubble of unanswered questions with a future that didn’t seem attainable just outside. If only we could find the answers and pop the bubble so we could grasp our future and hold on tight.
Chapter Twenty-Four
DESPITE THE UNANSWERED questions that spun in her mind and her heart unraveling a little more with each passing minute, when they’d arrived back at the cottage, Lacy had fallen asleep in Dane’s arms just as he’d suggested, and surprisingly, she’d slept right through the night.
Dane awoke in a full sweat. He shot straight up in bed, and Lacy followed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. She watched his eyes dart around the room.
“Just a bad dream. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked.
He climbed from the bed and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. “It was my mom. She was right there with me, like she was in all the pictures at my dad’s house. She was pushing me from behind.” He washed his face and came back to the bedroom. “I haven’t dreamed of her in years.”
“Maybe you’re really missing her right now because you were thinking about our future and having kids,” Lacy said.
He smiled and touched her cheek. “Maybe.”
“You’d better get ready. The alarm should go off in five minutes. I want to get ready early, too. I’m going to stop by that toy store in town and pick up a few things for Katie and Charlie before I meet them.” She touched his side as she walked into the bathroom. “I’m really looking forward to spending the day with them. I think it’ll be fun. What’s the plan after you’re done? Do you want to call me?”
He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I want to call you. I always want to talk to my friend.”
“Then I hope I’m the only friend you’re talking with,” Lacy teased.
“I was thinking that we might go to the concert at Nauset Beach tonight.” He turned her in his arms and kissed her lips.
“That sounds like fun. Can we ask Rob and Sheila to come? Kids love the beach, and most kids like music. I bet they’d have a blast,” she said. “Well, if they don’t get worn-out at the fair.”
“Man, I l…like you,” he said.
“Careful now. No breaking our promise.” The pact had become a joke, but Lacy felt that it was also a way for them to skirt around their real feelings, and while she was as keen as the next person when it came to jokes, in her heart she longed to hear him say those three words that tickled her tongue every time she was in his arms.
KATIE HELD LACY’S hand in one hand and tucked the stuffed bear Lacy had brought her under her other arm as they walked through the Barnstable County Fair. Every few steps, she did a little skip, sending her pigtails bouncing. Charlie walked beside Sheila, his lanky arms dangling by his sides and a brooding frown on his pink lips.
“I wanna ride the big roller coaster.” Charlie pouted.
“You’re a little too short. Remember? You have to be as tall as the wooden bear was,” Sheila reminded him.
Charlie had been just a few inches shorter than the required height, and he hadn’t let it go since. “How about the petting zoo?” Lacy asked.
“Animals are for babies,” Charlie said. With his light skin and a spray of freckles across his nose, he reminded Lacy of Alfalfa from The Little Rascals. She’d had a difficult time finding an appropriate toy for him, as he was too old for stuffed animals and she wasn’t sure what he liked, but he seemed to enjoy the Matchbox truck she’d bought him, which was clenched within his fist.
“Babies? I love animals and I’m not a baby,” Lacy said.
“Charlie, be nice.” Sheila wore a pair of navy blue shorts and a colorful tank top. Her long hair flowed freely down her back, and after reprimanding Charlie, she mouthed, Sorry, to Lacy.
Lacy mouthed back, It’s okay.
“Animals! Animals!” Katie yelled.
“Sheila, why don’t you take Katie in, and I’ll hang out here with Charlie,” Lacy offered.
“Animals are for babies, but I’m big enough to watch Katie.” Charlie s
tuck his chin out at Sheila and reached for Katie’s hand. “I’ll take her in.”
Sheila scanned the petting area, which was separated into an area for children only and an area for adults and children. “Great idea, Charlie. Why don’t you take her into that one? I trust you, Charlie. You hold her hand and stay with her every second. I’ll stand right here and watch. Katie, give me your bear.”
They watched the kids go through the gate. Charlie held Katie’s hand so tight that his arm looked rigid, and Katie stared up at him adoringly. Lacy leaned against the fence.
Sheila shook her head. “Am I a horrible mother for letting him take her in alone?”
“What? No. You’re a good mother. Anyone can see that,” Lacy assured her. “He needs to feel important, and letting him take her makes him feel that way.”
“Even though I kind of tricked him and had him take her into the children-only area?”
“Look at them,” Lacy said.
They watched the kids petting a baby goat. Katie giggled when the goat touched her with his nose, and Charlie stepped between the goat and Katie, then asked Katie if she was okay.
“They’re happy, and he feels valued and grown-up. I’d say that’s good parenting. Now, if you’d have wandered off to smoke a cigarette and drink a beer while they were in there, then you might qualify as a sucky mom.”
Sheila sighed. “Thanks, Lacy. I’m just sidetracked, I guess.”
“With all the stuff you and Rob have been dealing with, I think you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t knocked a little off-kilter.”
“I guess.” Sheila waved to the kids. “Did Rob tell you and Dane why I needed a break?”
Lacy shook her head, wondering exactly how they’d gotten back together so quickly.
“Because for fourteen years I’ve worried. Every time he leaves for a trip, I wonder what’s going to happen to him. I don’t worry about women or any of the other silliness that people worry about, but life and death, that’s hanging over our heads every time my husband goes to work.” Sheila wiped her eyes and looked at Lacy. “You don’t worry about Dane?”