by Sweet, Izzy
I start to shake my head and he reaches up with one hand, stabbing his fingers through my hair. Tightening his grip, he stops me, and pulls my face close to his face. “I know you’re going through some shit. I fucking get it, Allie. I do. You suffered a head trauma a few years ago and now everything’s confusin’ you.”
I gasp again, but this time in outrage.
Grinning, he tugs on my hair and forces me to arch my neck back.
Then he leans in like he’s going to kiss me but stops a breath away. “I’m only going to say this once, though. Once and that’s it. Don’t fucking try to leave again and don’t try to take my son away from me.”
I open my mouth, prepared to tell him to go fuck himself, fucking crazy bastard, only to have the words die in my throat as he thrusts his hips up.
“I fucking mean it, Allie,” he says harshly as he rubs and works his cock against me. “Don’t fucking say or do shit like that again because you will not like the consequences. You think things are bad now? This ain’t nothin’ compared to what I’ll do to you if you pull that shit again.”
Pleasure wars with anger inside me as he continues to stare hard into my eyes while using his fucking cock as a weapon.
My clit throbs with each slick glide and my core keeps clenching in the expectation of penetration.
I should have known he would react like this. I don’t even know why I wasted my breath on him. It’s obvious everything I said went in one ear and out the other.
Or he simply doesn’t care.
And if he doesn’t care… fuck him.
“There are only consequences if you catch me,” I hiss through my teeth and force my own grin.
He gives a hard thrust of his hips that wipes the grin right off my face as his shaft drags against my clit.
“Oh, I’ll catch you,” he grunts as his hand squeezing my ass yanks me down. “I’ll catch you because I know you, Allie.”
I know it’s a mistake before I say it, and I know it’s only going to make this fucked up situation even worse for me, but I can’t seem to stop myself.
The way he’s trying to bully me and use my body against me is pissing me off so bad the words burst from my mouth. “Oh, you know me better than my husband of two years? Because I got away—”
With a roar, he yanks on my hair and slams his cock into me so hard I see stars.
Then, before I can catch my breath or make any sense of what just happened, he lowers his hips, only to slam back up again.
“Yes, I fucking know you better than him because you were never his, you’ve always been mine!”
Eyes black with rage, he crushes his mouth against mine.
I try to fight him at first, try to fight the onslaught he’s unleashing on me, but just like last night, the more I resist, the harder he pushes.
And the more I hold back, the more he demands.
Even giving in just a little bit doesn’t seem to satisfy him.
As his tongue forces its way into my mouth, I force myself to relax. Force myself to let him have his way while I adjust to having him inside me, his sheer size stretching me almost to the breaking point.
But he’s fucking relentless.
No matter how hard I try to hold out, he persists. His tongue strokes and lashes against mine, coaxing and yet somehow urgent at the same time. It drives me so fucking crazy the way he’s kissing me, kissing me like he needs me, I finally find myself giving up and giving in.
The more I give in though, the more I start to want him.
And the more I want him, having his cock inside me isn’t enough.
My entire body on fire, pulsing and aching, I need him to move. I need him to do… something.
“You say you’re not my Allie, that you don’t remember me,” he growls into my mouth between hard, sucking pulls, “But you sure as fuck taste like her.”
When I start to groan and pull away, he uses his grip on my hair to hold me in place.
“You fucking kiss just like her too,” he says before he shoves his tongue down my throat.
What he said is so disturbing, I nearly choke on him and try to push him out of my mouth.
I’m not her.
Determined to torture me though, he chuckles and kisses me harder. He even moves his hips a little, just enough to increase the pulsing in my core.
And fuck me if I don’t want… No, need more.
He’s infuriates me to no end and scares the shit out of me, but damn if I don’t crave every inch of him.
Crave him like a fucking drug I need to get out of my system.
As if he can read my mind, he suddenly releases his grip on my ass and pushes up on the edge of the tub, getting to his knees.
The motion… Fuck, the motion of his cock sliding in and out of me as he moves feels so damn good, I can’t get enough.
I tighten my thighs around his hips and start to rock.
Before I can fully chase the release though he grabs my ass again, grinding me down hard.
My lips break from the kiss as my spine arches to accommodate his girth.
“In fact, every little thing you do and say is so like her,” he grunts as he continues to grind me down like he’s trying to split me open. “I’m startin’ to think you are her.”
I’m so full, I can’t breathe or think.
I don’t even try to escape.
“But, for your sake, darlin’, I’m gonna give you a chance to prove you’re not.”
The pressure inside me suddenly eases, his grip loosening, and I fill my lungs with air.
Untangling his fingers from my hair, he reaches down between us. I feel his fingers sliding down my mons before they quickly find my clit and smash against it.
Instantly, all the air rushes out of me and my hips try to jerk away from him.
“All you have to do is tell me what you want,” he grunts as once a-fucking-gain his grip on my ass pulls me back.
Just as my mouth opens to tell him to fuck off, his fingers move in a swirl and I feel his cock twitch inside me.
Suddenly unable to remember what I wanted to say, I moan, my lashes fluttering.
He growls, his eyes narrowing. “But I’m warning you, whatever you ask for is exactly what you’re gonna get. If you tell me to go away, I’ll fucking go away. If you tell me to stop, I’ll fucking stop.”
And, as if having his fingers torturing my clit isn’t bad enough, his head drops down and his mouth covers my breast.
His tongue lashes at my nipple before he pulls back a hard suckle. And fuck my life, I can feel the pull of that suckle all the way down in my aching clit.
My entire body shudders, my pussy clenching down on his cock.
He groans and releases my nipple with a wet popping sound. “And if you tell me what my Allie Cat would tell me…”
Head lifting back up, he looks into my eyes. “You’re telling me you are her and you’re mine.”
His fingers start to move faster as his head drops again, his tongue lashing out to attack my other breast.
Lord help me, it feels so damn good. The way his fingers and mouth move against me, I think I’m starting to go insane with need.
But need for what?
I’m so wet… so fucking wet I can feel it dripping down my thighs.
But at this point, I don’t know if it’s my release that will give me relief, or something else entirely.
All the stuff building inside me, the pressure, the aching, the throbbing, I recognize it. I know where it will end.
But there’s also this other hunger growing… a hunger for something more.
Something I know deep down only he can give.
Realizing what’s happening to me, I work to counter it as best as I can.
Every time I try to pull away from his fingers or roll my hips though, his other hand is there, keeping me firmly in place, his fingers digging into my ass.
I even try to shove his head away, only to have him pinch my clit.
Shit!
&nbs
p; “Tell me what you want, Allie,” he demands, his teeth scraping against my nipple before his tongue lashes it again.
It’s tempting, so tempting to tell him to fuck off to get him to go away.
I could always take care of myself. Use my own fingers to finish myself off…
But would it be as good?
No, because I want to come on his cock…
Fuck.
Is that what the other Allie would want?
Does it even matter?
I’m not her.
Growing impatient when I don’t answer him, Coy rips his mouth away from my breast and lifts his head.
He snarls and gives my clit another pinch but harder this time. “Tell me, Allie. Fucking beg me for it!”
Trapped between his merciless fingers, I can’t hold it in any longer and nearly shriek out, “I want you to fuck me, Coy! I want you to fuck me hard!”
His fingers release me, and it feels so good to finally be free, to finally get that out, I could fucking come.
Until I notice his eyes filling with triumphant.
“There’s my Allie Cat,” he practically purrs as he shoves up and gets to his feet. Then he nearly slams me into the wall. “The Allie Cat I’ve been waitin’ for.”
I have as long as it takes him to pull his hips back to regret what I said.
Then he slaps one hand against the wall and begins to drive into me so hard and fast my brain shuts down.
I can’t think or focus on anything but him.
All that exists is his body crashing into mine with pure, primal power.
There’s not enough breath for words, but the way he looks at me, his face furious but his eyes blazing with love and need, I feel exactly what he’s trying to tell me.
With each body-rocking thrust, I get to taste his anger, his hunger…
His pain.
And it calls to all the dark, fucked up shit that’s been eating at me.
My own confusion, fear, and pain scream to life inside me, and as my legs begin to tremble from the force of the orgasm threatening to overtake me, I don’t know whose demons will win.
His or mine?
Clawing at his shoulders as everything I’ve held on to for so long starts to slip away, I feel like I’m hanging on for dear life as he fucks me into oblivion.
He’s showing me absolutely no mercy.
His thick cock pumps in and out of me, hitting that spot inside me that’s too sensitive over and over again.
And I can’t let go… I can’t give myself up to it.
I can’t give myself up to the air panting between us or the feel of his sweaty skin slapping against my sweaty skin.
Because I’m afraid of what awaits me on the other side.
My orgasm keeps rising up inside me, but I fight it back down over and over.
My entire body starts to shake from holding in the force.
And top of all the shit that’s going on with my body, something is going on with my head.
Something is happening to me… something I can’t explain or put into words.
There’s a tightness, like I’m stretching. And I don’t know if I’ll snap back or break completely.
I’d hang here forever, clawing and scratching for dear life…
But Coy doesn’t give me a choice.
Somehow finding the air for words, he pants out between thrusts, “I love you, Allie.”
All at once the strength I had to hold on is knocked out of me with those four little words.
Something opens up inside me, and I feel Coy’s hand slap over my mouth as I start to scream.
I’m ripping open, my very soul being ripped to shreds.
Feelings… too many deeply buried feelings are slamming into me at once.
Affection… happiness…
Love.
A love so strong, so sharp, it’s slicing me to pieces.
And I feel like I’m falling apart.
But Coy’s right there with me.
Falling with me, he roars and furiously pumps me full of the warmth I need.
The warmth I’ve always needed to survive
Together, we’ve always been stronger.
I don’t know how I know that, but I accept it as truth.
A truth I desperately need to believe because I’m so fucking tired of being broken.
I’m so fucking tired of hurting.
Before either of us is done with our release, little orgasmic tremors still coursing through our bodies, I burst into tears.
Pulling me close, Coy holds me in his arms as I cling to him and all the shit I’ve been holding onto spills out of me.
I tell him everything.
Waking up and believing my parents lies.
Not wanting to remember when they told me he died…
The only thing I hold back is Mikhail. And the only reason I hold it back is because at this moment, in Coy’s arms, I can’t bring myself to say his name.
When I’m done, Coy strokes my hair back and tells me how beautiful I am. How every day I’ve been gone he missed me.
We both ache when he chokes up admitting he thought I disappeared intentionally, but if he’d known I had Levi…
And I believe him with every fucking fiber of my being.
Because somehow, someway, his heat of the moment declaration has healed a wound I didn’t even know I was carrying around.
His love has soothed a pain I didn’t even realize I had inside me.
I still don’t have my memories.
At least not the ones that should be in my brain.
I’m still not her, no matter how much I want to be.
I may never be her again, and for now that’s okay.
Because when he told me loved me, in my heart and soul, these echoes of feelings started to come back to me.
I remember what it was like to be with him.
To be loved by him.
There’s enough, just enough, to remind me, I’m his.
I’ve always been his.
Chapter Fifteen
Coy
Having Allie in my arms, with a sleeping Levi in hers, makes me feel like everything in the world is finally coming together. For five long fucking years I’ve waited for this moment. Five long, agonizing years.
A lot of emotions come into play when you do something like Allie and I just did in the bathroom. Pouring our hearts out to each other wasn’t exactly how I imagined it would all go down, but I can’t say that I’m disappointed.
My Allie Cat had a lot of shit weighing heavily on her shoulders. She’s been carrying a lot of burdens around for a long time.
Not anymore, she’s got me now.
She’s got a real fucking man to take that load from her. Not some pussy motherfucker who beats on women. She’s got a family with me and Levi, and she’s got her rightful spot back with the Bastards.
I’ve got the love of my life finally in my arms, and if I can, I’m gonna put another baby in her so Levi can have a little brother.
“Allie Cat?” I murmur quietly into her ear.
“Hmm?” she asks as she shimmies her hips just enough to put that sexy ass of hers right up against my cock.
“You do that again and we’re gonna have to kick Levi out,” I say with a chuckle.
She sighs quietly. “We can’t do that.”
“Not right now, anyways,” I sigh then say seriously, “I gotta go to Church, baby.”
“What?” she asks, twisting away from Levi to stare me in the eyes.
“Gotta head to Church,” I repeat. “Club business. Some shit’s goin’ down, and we need to take care of things.”
“Yeah, but you’re calling it church. Are you like Christian outlaws or something?” she asks with a small laugh.
I chuckle at the question. “Nah, baby, we’re just outlaws.”
She shakes her head. “How long will you be gone?”
“Couple of hours,” I say, pulling her back into my arms.
“Why do you call
it Church?”
“It can be a religious experience,” I smirk.
“Really?” she asks
“Nah, not really. It’s just somethin’ that’s stuck around after some gang back in the seventies supposedly called their meetings that. For the Royal Bastards it means serious decisions need to be made. So, since Church is such a serious thing, I guess we stick with it.”
“Oh. Will I ever get to be there for it?”
“Nope,” I say. “No girls allowed.”
She drawls out, “Okay,” and kisses my cheek. “Do I need to worry?”
“Never, Allie, I swear to that. The Royal Bastards are our family. Both your life and Levi’s life will always be safe with us,” I murmur into her hair as I take one last deep breath of her scent.
“Promise?”
“Always, Allie. Always,” I say and slowly begin the new process of figurin’ out how to extract myself from bed without waking Levi.
She stiffens slightly against me. “Will you have protection here again while you’re gone?”
“Yeah, baby, gotta keep my family safe. This isn’t about you runnin’ away anymore, this is because I want you protected.”
“I know, Coy,” she says quietly. “But I…”
“What?”
“I don’t like it. Mikhail always left men to keep watch over me. It makes me feel trapped and vulnerable,” she sighs.
“Allie, it’s for your protection. The men who will be here are willing to die for you and Levi. They aren’t trapping you. They’re here to keep you safe and to keep this Mikhail fuck away,” I say firmly.
Just the name, Mikhail, seems to upset her so I try to change the subject before it goes any deeper. I’ve got contacts I’ll be hittin’ up for information about the shithead.
No need to fuck with Allie’s brain right now. Not after all the shit she’s already been through.
“I gotta ask you something before I leave though... Why the hell did you run over Hammy’s bike?”
She winces, and she’s quiet for a long moment before she finally says, “To be fair, I didn’t know it was his bike when I did it, but I guess…. I don’t know… I guess it’s because they wouldn’t stop calling me ma’am.”
I growl into her ear, “Dude, you practically murdered his wife. Like his bitch is fucking trashed.”
“Well, he shouldn’t have parked behind Barney!” she says defensively.