by Marie Harte
He gaped. “What?”
On a roll, Erin added, “Cody, you had this weird idea that we could only have sex with you on top. You lasted maybe five minutes.” She sipped her coffee, wondering if he’d spiked it. That or she was riding high on sugar and caffeine. Where had this sassy woman come from? “And foreplay is not a four-letter word.”
He continued to stare at her in astonishment.
“You know what I’ve learned about myself, Cody?”
“What?”
“That I’m tired of always doing for others. I’m living in Seattle now. I have a job I like, friends”—okay, a little white lie, but she was working on that— “and a new boyfriend. He’s amazing and treats me like I matter. And he’s not afraid to tell me the truth.” I hope. “All you had to do was tell me you didn’t want to see me anymore. It would have hurt, yes, but I’d have gotten over you. Unfortunately, our breakup cost me a lot of money and time it shouldn’t have.”
He had the grace to look shamefaced. “I’m so sorry about that. Sincerely.” He tried to reach for her hand, but she tugged hers out of reach. “I’ll reimburse you for the move. You can go back home if you want.”
“I don’t think so.”
He shook his head. “Are you seriously telling me you want to stay out here? We constantly argued about you ever leaving Colby. Don’t you remember?”
“Yes, I do. I also remember telling you I’d think about it, because our relationship meant more to me than where I lived. I just needed time.”
“Erin, we were together for more than a year. You had time.”
“And so did you. Enough to be honest with me instead of cheating and lying. Everyone told me you were no good for me. But I believed in you.” The way she believed in Smith. “I loved you. Or at least I tried to.”
He scoffed, but underneath his disbelief she swore she saw hurt. “You’re telling me you didn’t love me? Erin, you practically smothered me with it. Cooking my food. Doing my laundry. Anything I wanted, you’d give it to me.”
“And that was a problem?”
“Hell, yes. There was no challenge, no thrill. You were about as close to being a human doormat as a woman could get,” he snapped.
She didn’t want to let him get to her, but dang it, that had been mean. “You really aren’t nice at all, are you?” Smith might be an ass sometimes, but he’d never been cruel to her.
“Oh Erin. I didn’t mean that.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Please, hear me out. That’s all I’m asking.”
She should leave and never see him again, but she heard a ring of truth in his apology. “You have five minutes.”
“We were good in the beginning. And that’s the God’s honest truth. You’re beautiful, inside and out. And so sweet. I fell head over heels for you.”
This was worse than him acting like a jackass, because that warm look in his eyes, the smile on his face, and the many compliments reminded her of the good times they’d had, the laughter and fun they’d shared.
“The distance hurt us, to be honest. I missed you so much in the beginning. But I got used to not being there, and then I felt empty without you. I’m not excusing what I did,” he said before she could argue with him. “I’m explaining it. Erin, sometimes you had expectations I didn’t feel able to fill. You always acted like a lady. Everything at your house was neat and perfect. It was like stepping into a Martha Stewart set, with everything just so.” He sighed. “And as you can see, I’m a lot less than perfect.”
She frowned. “You’re saying I expected too much?”
“Yes. No. Look, I just found it hard to live up to what I thought you needed.” He flushed. “If I wasn’t as creative in bed, it’s because I didn’t know what you’d be okay with.”
“And you couldn’t have asked me?”
“Seriously? Anytime I mentioned sex, you turned scarlet. And when I asked what you wanted, you’d tell me what I wanted was good enough. Erin, you never complained. How was I to know I wasn’t what you needed?” His expression soured. “Jesus. Now I’m a bad lover too?”
“But…” Erin thought about it and realized he had a point. “Okay, so maybe I was more closed off then. But can you tell me you tried all that hard to make me ‘happy’?”
“You can’t even say it, can you?” He shook his head.
With Smith she’d been bold and aggressive. “Fine. You didn’t give me orgasms. How’s that for bold for you?”
“Wow. That’s quite a leap for you, isn’t it? You’re still blushing, but you said orgasm and didn’t explode into a ball of holy fire.” He chuckled.
“Shut up.” She laughed with him, remembering their many discussions about sin and how hypocritical people could be.
He sighed. “I have missed this with you. Laughing, talking. I really am sorry I was so terrible about our breakup. It wasn’t good of me at all, and I’ve been feeling guilty ever since. I was telling you the truth about giving you the money to get home. I owe you that.”
“I don’t get it. This is the Cody I dated. Where were you three weeks ago?”
“You caught me off guard on a really bad day. I was running late for a meeting about a possible promotion I’ve been working toward for months, and I’ve been having problems with Diane. She and I… She’s nice, but she always came up short compared to you.” Cody shot her a disarming smile. “I’m not saying that to win you back or anything, just telling the truth.”
Okay, that feels good to know.
“We’re working things out. But it’s slow going.” He frowned. “I’m sorry she hurt you like that. I think you and I would have broken up eventually. But never like that. Seeing her be so awful to you, especially after I did the same, it was eye-opening.” He looked sad. “For both of us. I had no idea I could be such a dick. Or that Diane could be so nasty. Hell, maybe we do deserve each other.”
They sat in silence, absorbing what he’d said. “So, um, did you get the promotion?” she asked.
He laughed, but he didn’t sound happy. “Yeah. Can you believe that?”
“You were always good at your job.”
“Just not so great at being a good person, I guess.” He frowned and stood. “I think I should go. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’d like to remain friends. Think about it. I know we’re over, but I… I miss you.” He left before she could respond.
Huh. That hadn’t gone at all the way she’d expected. Cody was supposed to flaunt his new girlfriend, tell Erin how naïve and silly she’d been to think she could have a worldly man like him, then let her down gently and treat her as if she hadn’t a brain in her head.
Instead, Cody had apologized. He’d taken a little bit to get there, yes, but his words had been genuine. He didn’t try to win her back, but they’d shared a little bit of the connection they used to share. He missed her.
Yet he’d also told her some things she’d needed to hear. Apparently, being kind could be a bad thing. Smith didn’t seem to mind her, but what if by being together all the time, he saw the side of her that had scared Cody away? Smith wasn’t the type to cheat, but she hadn’t thought Cody was either.
Nervous, she ordered another macaron and thought over all her times with Smith, trying to dissect her new, wondrous relationship before it turned sour, the way hers and Cody’s had.
* * *
When Erin arrived home, she realized she needed to take Tilly’s supper to her. She grabbed the casserole she’d prepared earlier and headed to Tilly’s. She knocked and tried to open the door but found it locked. Puzzled, she set the casserole dish on the floor and fiddled with her phone, texting Tilly to find out what the woman wanted her to do. Tilly had talked about getting a key for Erin, but she hadn’t had time to get one made. She’d been planning to put it on Smith’s to do list.
Erin had to smile at that. Tilly and Smith had an odd relationship. One that didn’t look like it would work but did. Tilly nagged and harangued Smith. He barked back at her and acted tough. But he constantly helped the w
oman, even when she hadn’t asked. He took her dirty clothes bag down to the laundry room for her twice a week. He picked up her groceries when she needed odds and ends between her delivery service, and he constantly fiddled around in her apartment to fix things she hadn’t mentioned needing fixing.
Tilly had told her all of that, because Smith didn’t talk much about himself unless prodded, and even then, he had a habit of turning the conversation to Erin and what she thought or did.
She waited for Tilly to respond, and when she didn’t, Erin figured the older woman must have gone out. Heck, Tilly had more of a social life than Erin did.
Erin grumbled under her breath and returned the casserole to her refrigerator. Thinking about Tilly and laundry made her realize she had a load to do, so she grabbed her basket and walked down to the laundry room in the basement. Unlike the creepy basements in horror movies, where the dim lighting and close confines contributed to the heroine getting mauled by a monster or serial killer, the laundry room in Emerald Estates had high basement windows, bright white walls, and plenty of overhead lighting. It wasn’t cramped, and the six washers and six dryers had worked the entire time Erin had been in residence.
She’d put her wash in and used up the last of her quarters when she noticed Tilly’s cane against the far corner, near the bathroom. Odd. “Tilly?” she called, not expecting an answer.
The thump from behind the bathroom door alarmed her. “Tilly?” she called again and put her ear to the door.
“In here. I hurt my hip.”
“Oh no.” Ein tried the door. “It’s locked. Can you unlock it?”
“If I could unlock it, don’t you think I would have?” Tilly snapped, which made Erin feel a little better. If Tilly could gripe, she couldn’t be too hurt, could she? “Smith has a set of keys. Can you get them and help me out?”
“Yes. Wait right there.”
“Do you really think I’m going anywhere anytime fast? Hell and damn, girl. I’ve been stuck in here for an hour.” Then she grumbled, “Doesn’t anyone do laundry anymore?”
Erin texted Smith, Emergency. Tilly fell. Where are the apartment keys?
Fortunately, he texted right back. In top drawer to left of kitchen sink. Be home in half an hour. Soon as I can.
“I’ll be right back, Tilly,” Erin called and ran upstairs. She found the ring of keys and raced back to Tilly. After going through a few, she found a key that fit the bathroom door. She entered to find Tilly in a state. The poor woman sat on the lid of the toilet, her weight shifted to one side, her expression one of pain. When she saw Erin, her expression lightened despite the tears in her eyes.
“Hell of a thing, getting old,” Tilly said, reaching for Erin.
Erin hurried to help her to her feet, conscious that Tilly favored her right side. They walked slowly, grabbed Tilly’s cane to use as extra support, and continued up to the first floor, Erin apologizing all the way. Tilly weighed less than Erin did, so assisting her wasn’t difficult. But not creating more injury meant they had to walk so carefully.
“I’m sorry. I know this hurts. I’m so sorry. You’re going great. Let’s keep going.”
“Just take me to my apartment. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m taking you to the hospital.”
Tilly flushed. “Hell, no. That’s a bother.”
“You have insurance, don’t you?”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts. Tilly, you could be bleeding internally. You could have broken something. You need a hospital.”
“Fuck me sideways. Fine. But no ambulance.”
“Right. Just…wait right here.” Erin propped her against the hallway wall and rushed to grab her purse and car keys. Then she returned, only to be ordered to grab Tilly’s purse as well. Tilly held out a shaky hand with her keys.
Erin blinked back useless tears and rushed to get Tilly’s things. Along with her purse, she grabbed Tilly’s favorite shawl and a coat and then drove her to the hospital, all the while worrying about Tilly’s pallor and her hip.
After checking Tilly in, Erin realized she hadn’t texted Smith. She let him know where to meet her and waited. Then she wondered if she should text Rupert, the only known member of Tilly’s family. Erin decided it couldn’t hurt, so she let him know what had happened to Tilly but didn’t hear back right away.
Tilly hadn’t looked so good by the time they’d wheeled her into emergency care. After filling out a ton of forms and being directed to two different stations, Erin had nothing to do but wait and worry.
Tilly had become a surrogate grandparent in a lot of ways. She gave Erin advice Erin hadn’t asked for, as well as a sense of support and kindness she needed. When Erin had had no place to live, Tilly had offered her a more than fair deal, from which Erin continued to reap the benefits. And one of them was having Tilly as a friend.
The thought of possibly losing her hit hard, and Erin had to wipe away tears, worried by all that could go wrong. Tilly was seventy-nine years old with a history of osteoporosis. She’d already had one hip replaced. Fortunately, not the one she’d hurt. Seeing her in pain had been awful, and knowing Tilly had suffered for a while, and might have continued to suffer had Erin not found her, rang warning bells.
Tilly might need around the clock care after this. Could she afford it? If not, who could help her? Erin wanted to offer, but did she need to be qualified to administer medication? Would Tilly even want her around all the time? And besides, Erin also needed to work. She had more editing awaiting her at her apartment.
Worn out from the shock of Tilly’s fall and her meeting with Cody, she grabbed a magazine and settled in for some mindless reading about celebrities and their scandals and every day activities.
Two hours had passed. No word from the doctor yet, and Smith was stuck in traffic.
Gosh, she needed him by her side. With Smith around, she felt safe and cared for. Almost…loved.
* * *
Smith couldn’t believe he’d been sideswiped by some drunk asshole after being stuck in traffic forever. Wasting time while some young cop struggled to understand the concept of emergencies and needing somewhere else to be, it was all Smith could do not to clock the bastard who stood on the cop’s other side, bitching about being late to a meeting.
“Look, officer,” Smith growled. “I’m the guy who got hit on the way to the hospital, where my grandmother is in emergency care. I wasn’t drinking or speeding,” he directed to the rich asshole.
“Please. I’m totally sober.” The guy’s phone rang, and he stepped aside to answer it.
Smith had totally been speeding before he’d stopped at the stoplight. And by calling Tilly his grandmother, he hoped for a little more sympathy and urgency in dealing with the accident. “I was turning right on green when this guy plowed into me, running a red light. I can fucking smell him from here.”
The cop sighed. “Yeah, so can I. I’m sorry. We’re nearly done. There’s one more thing I need to do, then you can be on your way.”
“In that?” Smith growled, pointing to the tail end of his truck, which had been too badly damaged to drive. He studied the crumpled back fender and axel and swore, glowering once more at the driver swearing on the phone. The older man in a decked-out Land Rover wore a suit and tie and talked on the phone as if he owned all of Seattle.
The cop turned to deal with the rich dick, and Smith fumed. He’d already been running behind to get to Tilly because of their job across the city. Traffic was always bad, but today it had been off-the-charts insane, and then he’d been hit.
“What the fuck happened here?”
Smith groaned. Not the voice he needed or expected to be hearing. He turned to see Cash walking toward him wearing a huge frown. “Shouldn’t you be at the job site?” He noticed Cash’s SUV parked behind the cop car.
“If you’d listened to anything I said, you’d have heard me tell you to wait while I finished talking to Hector. I was going to drive you.”
“Great. Then you
would have been tail-ended by assface over there.”
Rich guy heard him and scowled. “I want to make a complaint.” He took a step towards Smith, who clenched his fists and grinned through his teeth.
The cop frowned. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to step over there. And Mr. Ramsey, please, don’t engage.”
“He won’t.” Cash waved at the cop. “I’m his brother. I’ll keep the hot head over here.”
“Thanks.”
Smith wanted to hit someone. He looked at Cash.
“Don’t even think about it,” Cash warned. “If you’d have waited, I would have been driving, and we could have avoided all this.”
“Huh? I didn’t do this! Fuckhead over there did!”
“Yeah, but we would have left a few minutes later, so his drunk ass would have hit someone else.”
The drunk ass in question said, loudly enough to be heard, “I am not drunk. And I want that man arrested for assault.”
“Sir, he hasn’t assaulted anyone.” The cop sighed.
“Not yet,” Smith muttered. “Yo, officer. Are we done here?”
“You can go. Contact your insurance company and let them know there’s a police report.” The cop turned back to the dickhead. “Mr. Murphy, can you please tell me the last time you had alcohol?”
“I haven’t been drinking.”
“What the fuck ever, pal,” Cash snarled. “You smell like a brewery.” He yanked Smith toward his SUV. “Come on. Your friend is waiting.”
Smith tugged his arm back but didn’t argue. Tilly and Erin needed him. He’d deal with Cash’s attitude later.
Chapter Sixteen
At the hospital, Smith found Erin slumped in a seat. He ignored Cash and rushed over to her. “Hey, you okay?”
She saw him, and her eyes filled. She reached for him, and he stood with her in his arms, just holding each other.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” She wiped her eyes. “Sorry for crying. Tilly’s going to be fine. It’s just been a heck of a day.”
Smith blew out a worried breath. “Thank God she’s okay. What the hell happened?”