by A. K. Evans
I already knew most of this, so I wasn’t surprised. Convinced Kendall was working up to something, I remained silent and waited for her to continued.
A moment later, she went on, “That day, I saw how he watched you. He tried to fight it, and I don’t think anyone else would have noticed. But I’m a woman; we live for stuff like this. When Kieran was driving the golf cart down the side of the track after Logan’s final pass, I saw Knox watching your run.”
I swallowed hard and rasped, “And?”
Kendall took in a deep breath and sighed, “And he was muttering under his breath the moment you lost control. He said to pull the chute several times, which made no sense to me at the time. Of course, I asked Logan about that after the fact and learned that it would have straightened the car out if you had pulled it. Anyway, Knox must have realized what was going to happen and he said, and I quote, “Fuck… fuck… she’s going to hit the wall.””
I sat back and felt the tears well in my eyes as my throat felt painfully tight.
“Shit, Avery, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Kendall apologized.
Shaking my head and blinking back the tears, I rasped, “No, it’s okay. I’m fine. I just… I don’t understand him.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Did I?
I had nobody else. I’d been longing, for years, to have someone to confide in. Another woman, in particular. And now that I finally had the chance, it terrified me. But as scared as I was, I was never the type of person to not go after something I wanted. What was the worst that could happen? I’d end up with a friend?
Yeah, it was worth taking the chance.
I glanced at my wrist and asked, “How much time do we have left?”
“Is it that bad?” she asked.
“He kissed me,” I blurted.
Kendall dropped her fork, and it clattered to the plate as she started coughing. It took her a second to get the coughing under control, but once she did, she pressed for more. “What? When did this happen?”
“Friday night,” I started. I then launched in and told her how it all happened. I told her everything from me finding out about the coolant hose and trying to control my reaction quietly. I explained how Knox came over and showed a modicum of concern for me. And finally, I shared how I exploded on him, he kissed me, and then I told him to never touch or speak to me again.
When I finished, she marveled, “Wow.”
“Yeah. And now I’ve been spending the last week trying to figure out how to avoid being alone with him,” I added.
“Are you uncomfortable around him? Because if you are, Avery, you need to tell Logan,” she insisted. “If there’s one thing I know it’s that Logan will not tolerate you feeling uncomfortable or unsafe there.”
Shaking my head, I assured her, “No, it’s not that. It’s my own thing. I just… I don’t think I understand what’s happening with him. Why has he treated me so poorly all this time only to do that? And from what you said, he seemed to be at least mildly concerned at the track. I don’t get it.”
After shooting me a sympathetic look, Kendall replied, “I wish I knew what was going on in his head. I know he was attracted to you, so that explains why he probably ended up kissing you like he did—”
“Wait, what?”
“What what?”
Narrowing my eyes, I said, “You knew he was attracted to me?”
Nodding, Kendall explained, “Yeah. He saw you at a testing session prior to the race. Apparently, seeing you from that distance, he was seriously interested. But the second he was ready to approach you, Ricky walked up and kissed you.”
The breath froze in my lungs and a cold feeling settled in my belly. He saw me long before I even knew he existed. And he was interested in me.
But Ricky walked up and kissed me.
Fucking Ricky.
Despite the fact that I repeatedly turned down his advances, he didn’t respect it. He never did more than kiss me on the cheek, but it didn’t change the fact that I didn’t want him doing that either.
Frustrated, unable to control what came out of my mouth, I blurted, “The first time I saw Knox, I thought he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. And last Friday, in all my anger, I told him that.”
Kendall winced. “Yikes. You sound like Logan and me.”
“What?”
“Rocky start,” she said.
“You and Logan had a rocky start?” I asked. “But you… you guys are so perfect together.”
It was at my words that Kendall sighed dreamily. Then she smiled and said, “Maybe you and Knox are having a rocky start.”
I rolled my eyes. “Hardly. I told the guy not to speak to me again. And it wasn’t like he had much to say to me before that anyway.”
“Logan went a whole month without speaking to me,” she shared.
My eyes widened. “What?”
“It was more a misunderstanding, but it was awful. I met him on his birthday, felt something I couldn’t explain, and went against everything I stand for when I went home with him that night. It was a whole month before he called me,” she explained.
My jaw dropped. No way. That didn’t seem like Logan.
Kendall proved I hadn’t been wrong in my assessment of him when she explained, “In all fairness, he was unexpectedly sent out of the country two days after his birthday for work and he forgot to take the piece of paper with my number on it with him.”
“Oh my gosh, are you serious?”
She laughed. “Yeah. And we had a hell of a time trying to get ourselves back on track. But we did, and it’s been totally worth it. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t think what Knox is doing to you is okay. But maybe he’ll see how wrong he’s been and can at least make things right with you.”
“Well, I won’t hold my breath,” I murmured. Following a brief pause, I said, “But enough about me and my problems. Tell me about this job of yours. You get to deliver babies all day?”
“I’m not usually the one delivering them, but I did have the opportunity to deliver a baby by myself trapped in an elevator with a pregnant mom.”
“What? No!”
Kendall grinned and went on to tell me the whole story. And from that point forward, the focus of our conversation had shifted from something that had been causing me such distress to something much lighter.
And by the time I left and was on my way back to work, I realized it had been just what I needed. In pushing to offer me her friendship, Kendall had given me something I’d been desperately needing in my life. I was able to unload much of what I was feeling on someone and move on to something else while I allowed her words to simmer.
Lunch with her had given me a bit of clarity and perhaps even a bit of hope. Maybe not that things would ever be great with Knox but at least civil at some point.
I could settle for that.
Even if I wanted so much more.
“This is always the worst part for me.”
That came from Kendall.
It was late Saturday afternoon, and we were at the track. More specifically, we were in the staging lanes with Logan and three of the LT Motorsports customers.
Surprisingly, the day hadn’t been nearly as stressful as I thought it was going to be. Even though we were all here, Knox included, I didn’t have to work so hard to maintain my distance. Not, of course, that I believed he was going to do anything to me. It’s not like the drag strip was a great place to have a private conversation.
Then again, I wasn’t even sure Knox wanted to have a private conversation with me. He had respected my wishes and not touched or talked to me since last Friday night. And while I was appreciative of the fact that he respected me enough to give me that, I was beginning to regret that I’d said it.
Though I was convinced things wouldn’t ever be able to be good between us in the way I might have wanted when I first laid my eyes on him, what happened was something that we probably should have
discussed, even if it would have been incredibly disappointing and uncomfortable.
So, I’d reached a point when I’d had plenty of time to cool down and process it all. And I’d come to the conclusion that Knox wasn’t going to approach me. I needed to figure out how to go to him, and I needed to find a way to do it that would allow us to talk without a crowd surrounding us. I didn’t want to risk another scene.
Now wasn’t the time. Especially since Kendall was clearly panicking.
“What is?” I asked.
“These last few minutes before he goes down the track,” she answered.
“Nerves?” I wondered.
Nodding, Kendall confirmed, “Yeah. It doesn’t matter that he’s already been down the track once today. I still feel like this. Is that crazy?”
I shook my head. “Not at all. I get nerves right before my first pass every time. Once I get the first one out of the way, I’m usually pretty good for the rest of the day.”
“I wish it was only one pass,” she returned. “Every pass. And I’m not even the one racing. How ridiculous is that?”
“I don’t think that’s weird. You care about him. It’s only natural you’ll worry about his safety while also feeling excitement. Logan’s good at what he does, so you know he’s pushing to reach his goal. We all want to see that happen,” I reassured her.
Taking in a deep breath as we moved forward toward the burnout box, she admitted, “It’s worse now. I’m excited for him, for sure. But ever since I saw what happened to you, I’m terrified. He’s going so fast.”
I didn’t immediately respond.
Kendall and I walked up and stopped between the burnout box and the staging beams. Knox, Kieran, Nash, and Ryker had already been up here as they had been helping the LT Motorsports customers get staged ahead of Logan.
When we were in the spot we planned to stay until after he ran, I reached out for Kendall’s hand, squeezed, and promised, “I’ve got you until he makes it down the track safely.”
She smiled and said softly, “You’re such a badass, Avery. I’m so glad Logan hired you.”
“Me too.”
After that, we didn’t say any more words. We kept our attention focused on Logan. While his car was running well today, he wasn’t running his best times either. Since this wasn’t one of the more important races, he was using it to test some more radical changes with the tune. And because there wasn’t a full field, all Logan needed to do was make a qualifying pass at any time, and he’d be qualified. He did that his first pass out. Now, he was treating the remaining qualifying passes as testing sessions. That was one of the only ways to improve. Testing at an event.
Logan pulled up and staged his car. Kendall’s hand tightened around mine.
The lights dropped and Logan launched the car. It was a near-perfect launch, and by the halfway point, I knew he was on a pass, so I squeezed Kendall’s hand back.
A moment later, the time was posted. He ran a 7.06 at 177mph.
Not the goal but a new personal best.
Grinning from ear to ear, I turned my attention to Kendall and declared, “What did I tell you, babe? He’s good at what he does.”
Beaming back at me, she cried, “I’m so proud of him.”
We walked back to where the golf cart was parked and she hopped on. Nash climbed in to drive, and Kendall urged, “Come on, Avery. You can ride down with us.”
I shook my head. “I’m going to run to the ladies’ room. I’ll meet you guys back at the pit.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked.
“No, that’s okay. Go celebrate with your man.”
“Okay.”
At that, Kieran jumped on the back of the golf cart and Nash took off.
I started walking back toward the pits, knowing I needed to make a quick stop in the restroom first. But I was acutely aware of the fact that Ryker and Knox were also walking back to the pits. And they were right behind me. I could hear Ryker talking about Logan’s pass. Knox was listening, but there was no doubt he was distracted. His responses weren’t more than a word or two.
Not wanting there to be a chance for things to get awkward, I kept a swift pace. Soon enough, I made it to the bathroom and walked inside. It wasn’t until I made it in there that I realized I’d been holding my breath.
I didn’t know why I was so worked up. Knox wasn’t going to talk to me. I’d seen to it.
Pushing that out of my mind, I took care of business, washed my hands, and walked out. And as I walked back to the pit, I looked off the side and saw Ricky’s pit. There was only one car there, which made sense since the class that most of the cars in his shop ran in was running now. For some reason, Ricky wasn’t up with his team. He was there alone and had just closed the hood on the car.
Something came over me, and I couldn’t stop myself from making a detour. A woman on a mission to get answers, I walked right into his pit.
When I was only a few feet away, Ricky looked up and scowled at me.
“What do you want?” he asked.
Cutting to the chase, I shot back, “Why did you do it?”
“Do what?”
Taking slow deliberate steps toward him, I seethed, “You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t play stupid, Ricky. I know how you work.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he returned.
He knew. I could tell from the smugness in his tone. He knew. He just never thought I’d figure it out.
If he wanted to play stupid, I’d spell it out. “The coolant hose coming from the overflow tank was pointed right at my front tire,” I started. “It wasn’t like that when I checked over the car after the prior pass. You did it. Or you know who did.”
Shrugging nonchalantly, he spat, “What are you going to do about it? You can’t prove shit.”
“No, I can’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know why,” I said.
“Avery Sullivan leaving her dream job working at a performance automotive shop didn’t make any sense,” he began. “So, I did a little digging. You should have cleared your search history on the office computer. I saw the job posting you looked at. It made sense that shortly after that, you were giving your two weeks’ notice.”
Shit.
He knew.
He figured it out.
I thought I’d come to terms with the fact that he was responsible for the crash, but hearing his admission sent me over the edge.
“You son of a bitch!” I shouted. “How dare you? You’re so lucky I walked away from that without being seriously injured.”
“Get the fuck out of here, you stupid bitch.”
I turned and started to walk away but suddenly stopped. Looking back at him, I lowered my voice and sneered, “You’re scum, Ricky. Scum. You and all the guys that work for you are nothing but scum. The fact that you’d stoop this low shouldn’t surprise me. It’s who you are; it’s how you run your business. Slimy and grimy. You can try all you want, but you’ll never be as good as Logan and his team. Never.”
With that I turned to walk away. But before I could take a step in the opposite direction, Ricky grabbed me by my hair and slammed my face down onto the hood of the car.
I saw stars.
The pain in my face was the worst thing I’d ever felt, and I couldn’t even begin to open my eyes to look at him let alone think straight. If I was lucky enough not to have a broken nose, I was certain I’d be bleeding and have significant bruising.
I couldn’t think beyond the pain. And before I could gather my bearings, he flipped me over and pinned my body between his and the side of the car.
I had a feeling this was about to go from bad to worse.
This had gone on long enough, and I was over it.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I’d kissed her one time, just once, and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Every day I walked into work and had to see her beautiful face.
The whole situation was ri
diculous. And because I knew I was responsible for where we ended up, I believed it was up to me to make sure we resolved this in a healthy way. I hated who I became over the last couple of weeks.
I wasn’t the kind of guy who would sit back and not go after what he wanted. And I certainly wasn’t the kind of man who treated a woman the way I’d treated Avery.
I’d tried to give her some time to cope with everything. Not only had she learned what she did about what Ricky had done to her car, but she also had the kiss with me following her first week at her new job where I had been nothing but rude and disrespectful to her. My hope was that after a few days she’d settle down, think, and realize she didn’t mean to say what she’d said to me. As much as I wanted to respect and honor her wishes, I couldn’t just walk away now. I wanted to give it one last shot.
So, I was going to do something about it, and I was going to do it now.
Because I’d had enough.
Logan had just made his pass, and Ryker and I started walking back to the pit with Avery a few steps ahead of us. She veered off to the bathroom while Ryker and I continued back to the pit. I’d been here for a few minutes when I realized that it might be best for me to approach her away from the group. Even though we were in a public space, we’d have the privacy from the people who knew us both and knew how things were between us.
Having made up my mind, I glanced at Ryker and said, “Hey, I’ll be right back.”
“You good?” he asked.
I dipped my chin. “Yeah, I’m just… I’ve got to take care of something.”
He gave me a questioning look. “You going to go make things right with her?” he wondered.
I took in a deep breath before I answered, “I’m going to try.”
With that, I started off toward the bathrooms. I walked slow, making sure to scan the crowd along the way. It had been a bit since Avery went into the bathroom, so I had a feeling I was going to run into her when she was on her way back to the pit.
But it should be perfect. I’d catch her before she was back around everybody, and I’d likely be able to get a few words in without her flying off the handle at me. Though I was fully prepared for it to happen, I was banking on the fact that she wasn’t the kind of woman who’d make a spectacle of herself.