by A. K. Evans
We took several bites, neither of us saying a word. But the intense look in Avery’s eyes mixed with a bit of uncertainty on her face told me more than any words ever could.
When we were more than halfway done with dessert and the only interruption we’d had was when the waiter returned with the check, I lifted the fork to my mouth and held it there while I said, “So, I have a little problem.”
Avery’s brows pulled together. “What’s that?” she wondered.
“I’m not sure where to take you next,” I explained. “I had planned to take you somewhere after dinner to have some fun, but your attire limits some of our options.”
“Oh. I’m sorry if I ruined any plans you made,” she lamented. “What had you planned on doing?”
“Nothing specific,” I assured her. “I honestly thought we’d figure it out together because outside of racing and cars, I’m not sure what else you like to do. Anything I had thought of as being an option won’t work with that dress. But I mean, I can take you out to dance. Do you like to dance?”
“Do you dance?” she asked, unable to hide the shock in her voice.
“It’s not really my favorite thing to do, but if you liked it, I’d take you. I just feel like you being in that dress is the kind of thing that should be shown off and deserves something special,” I explained.
After setting her fork down indicating she was finished with dessert, Avery bit the corner of her lip and her eyes dropped to her lap. I saw her taking a few slow, deep breaths and immediately grew concerned.
“Hey, is everything okay?” I asked, leaning forward and putting a hand to her arm.
When she lifted her chin and looked at me, her eyes were smoldering.
“Yes, it’s just that…” She trailed off.
“It’s just what? Avery, talk to me,” I pleaded.
“I appreciate what you’re saying about wanting to take me somewhere to do something special since I got all dolled up in this dress,” she started, an edge of apprehension laced through her voice. “But if you want to know the truth, I didn’t get this dress so I could show it off to anyone else. I wore it for you.”
Shit.
Shit.
“Avery, are you saying…” I trailed off.
“Take me home, Knox,” she urged.
She didn’t need to ask me twice. I pulled out my wallet, threw some cash down on the table to cover the meal and a healthy tip, and stood to hold my hand out to her.
Avery put her hand in mine and rose out of her chair.
Then, I led us out of the restaurant and out to my car, nervous as I could ever remember being about anything else in my life.
Crazy.
Completely, certifiably crazy.
That was the only way I could describe myself considering I’d gotten into this pickle. From the outside looking in—hell, being in it—nobody would think it was anything other than beautiful.
And it was.
It was beautiful and wonderful and a million other things I couldn’t wrap my head around.
But as incredible as it was, it was also making me feel like I was losing my mind.
Because right now, Knox was sitting on my couch, and I was straddling his lap with my dress hiked up high enough to allow that. We’d been kissing for a long time. It was nice. So nice.
He was an amazing kisser. He did things with his mouth that I didn’t even know were possible. And because he continued to kiss me, I had to assume that he at least enjoyed what he was getting in return. But the level of expertise he showed with his kissing was on another level.
It felt stupid of me to even be thinking this was not a good thing. It was. Deep down, I knew it was going to be the most amazing thing I ever experienced. At the same time, I was petrified that it would be the complete opposite for Knox.
And I didn’t want that.
I didn’t want him to be disappointed with or by me.
Once again, I’d entered unfamiliar territory. There wasn’t much that fazed me, and I was generally a confident woman, but this scared the living daylights out of me for no other reason than I didn’t want to be bad at it.
I had the kissing under control. I felt confident in that. With someone like Knox taking charge and leading it, it was hard not to follow. Whether sweet and tender or harsh and claiming, the man had no problem doing what needed to be done with his mouth.
But I truly worried he was going to figure it out somewhere in the middle of it.
I should have agreed to dancing. I had no idea where my desire to be seductive and tempting came from when we finished dinner.
No, that’s not true.
I knew exactly where it came from.
Part of me recalled how he reacted when I had teased him here at the house before we left for dinner, and I liked knowing I could make him feel like that. That was partly to blame for pushing me to do this. The other part of me couldn’t ignore what having his hand on my thigh or my arm throughout dinner did to me.
And now I couldn’t think of anything but the fact that we should have gone dancing. Maybe that would have helped. Admittedly, I wasn’t necessarily a big dancer. I’d occasionally do it around the house if I had music on and was cleaning, but I wasn’t the kind of girl who needed to go out dancing every weekend. In fact, I never really ever did it. It just wasn’t me. And it wasn’t like I was in a place where I had a group of friends to go with anyway.
Though the idea of seeing Knox in action was a nice one, and I had a thought that if I could manage to get through this tonight without completely making a fool of myself, I’d really like to see Knox on the dance floor.
“So beautiful,” Knox whispered, pulling me back to him.
His hands had been moving along my thighs up to my ass for a long time. It was nice. I enjoyed it. But now they were starting to move up my sides as his mouth moved along my jaw.
This was terrifying.
Not in the way that I didn’t want it to happen, though.
I did.
I really did.
I wanted it so bad. I couldn’t quite come up with the word to describe the level of desperation I felt about how badly I wanted this with him.
But as much as I wanted what I knew Knox had to give—the best part of it was pressed firmly against me—I was certain I’d be fumbling and would ruin all of it. Beyond that, I didn’t want to go through this being constantly inside my own head, wondering if I was doing everything right.
I had to stop it.
I had to stop it now.
Except that I was struggling to do that, too.
Knox’s mouth had left my jaw at that moment and began moving down the front of my throat. His hands had stopped at my upper ribs and moved to the front where he cupped my breasts in them.
Oh God.
That felt incredible.
It was precisely the reason I was feeling so tormented right now. What woman in her right mind would have a man like Knox doing to her what he was doing to me and want to stop it? That was the definition of crazy town.
Of course, if said woman decided to flirt and tease like she thought she knew what she was doing, maybe she deserved to be in this predicament.
Torn between wanting it all and terrified of ruining it.
Knox’s lips moved lower, running along my collarbone before descending toward my cleavage. When he pressed his face in there as his thumbs swiped up and over my nipples, I was convinced he’d be able to relieve the ever-growing ache between my legs with only a few more nipple swipes.
That was it. I couldn’t allow this to continue without talking to him first. This needed to stop right now.
I pressed my fingers firmly into his shoulders and pushed back slightly. Knox lifted his head and when our eyes just barely met, I blurted, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Confusion washed over him and his body tensed as his hands dropped to my hips.
I started to move to get off him, but he kept his hands planted firmly on me. I tensed.
“Knox, please let me go,” I begged.
Without hesitating, his hands released me. I climbed off him, fixed my dress, and settled myself on the seat next to him.
“Are you okay?” he worried.
I shook my head. “We need to talk,” I rasped.
Knox didn’t respond. He sat there, a troubled look on his face, as he stared at me waiting for an explanation or some indication of what was happening.
This was way harder than I thought it was going to be. Considering I thought it was going to be one of the most difficult things I ever did, that was saying something.
Apparently, my silence stretched on for too long because Knox finally reached out and curled his fingers around my hand.
“Avery, if this is moving too fast for you, we can slow down,” he assured me. “We don’t have to do this tonight, especially if it’s going to put that look on your face. It’s okay. I promise there’s no pressure.”
He was so sweet. So kind. So gentle. I loved knowing that he was such a good man. That simple fact only reinforced just how much I wanted this. I wanted him tonight, more than I wanted anything in a really long time. I had to tell him the truth.
Shaking my head, I insisted, “That’s not it.”
“Alright,” he returned, giving my hand a comforting squeeze. “Tell me what’s going on then.”
How was I going to tell him this?
Like a bandage. That was the only way.
I swallowed hard, steeled my spine, and admitted, “My experience and skills in bed don’t exactly match my experience and skills in the automotive world.”
“I’m sorry?” he said, clearly not understanding my attempt to share what I needed to share without having to say the actual words.
“I want this, Knox. I really, really want this,” I started. “But I don’t know what I’m doing.”
There was a moment of hesitation before a light bulb went off in his head. Then Knox asked, “Avery, babe, are you telling me you’re a—”
“I’m not a virgin,” I cut him off.
His brows pulled together in confusion. I couldn’t say I blamed him. It didn’t make any sense.
I sighed. This was mortifying. I should have gone dancing and taken him up on his offer to just slow things down. At least until I could pluck up the courage to share this.
Now I had no choice.
I took in a deep breath and blew it out. Time to spill the beans and hope for the best.
“Technically, I’m not a virgin because I had one mind-numbing experience when I was fifteen years old that lasted for about two minutes,” I shared while simultaneously wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. “When it was over, the guy made it clear he was only ever interested in one thing when he got up and walked away. That turned me off to the whole idea for a while. Then everything happened with my dad getting sick, and I just… I just never had the desire.”
Bringing his hand up to cup the side of my face, Knox’s voice was gentle when he said, “Baby.”
Baby.
I didn’t know what he was thinking at that moment, but I knew I felt an uncertainty like never before in my life.
Luckily, I didn’t need to figure out what to say because Knox did. “I’m sorry the only experience you’ve had is a bad one,” he lamented. “I hope you know that what you experienced isn’t what a man does. I’m guessing, if he was fifteen as well, he was simply being a stupid teenager. That’s not me excusing it; it upsets me to know you were used like that. But you shouldn’t have that worried look on your face right now. This isn’t at all a bad thing.”
“It’s not?” I asked.
A devious grin spread across his face as he shook his head and insisted, “Not at all. It just means that I get to show you what it’s supposed to be like.”
The nerves I’d felt in my belly cranked up several hundred notches, and I felt the tremors from that throughout the rest of my body.
Knox must have felt it because he went on to try and ease what I think he believed was fear about having this with him.
“And we can do that whenever you’re ready,” he added. “If you need to slow it down, babe, we can slow it down. I don’t want you to rush and regret doing this because you think you need to do it for me.”
That was sweet. So sweet.
“I want this, Knox,” I insisted. “I want it now. I just don’t want it to be bad for you. I don’t want to ruin what we’re starting here.”
Knox held my eyes a few seconds before he hauled me up into his arms and buried his face in my neck. Seconds later, I could feel his body vibrating with the force of his laughter.
He thought this was funny.
Oh, God. It was worse than I thought. More humiliating than I thought.
For a few moments, I was so stunned by his reaction I couldn’t say anything. The shock quickly wore off and I said, “This isn’t funny, Knox. I’m serious.”
He pulled his face back from my neck, and when he looked up at me, I could see his eyes were shining. Knox laughed so hard he was crying.
“I know you’re being serious, Avery. That’s what makes it so funny,” he returned.
“I’m worried and nervous about all of this, and you’re laughing,” I pointed out, my tone indicating I was losing my patience.
Instantly, Knox’s mood shifted and he got serious.
“Babe, listen to me,” he ordered. When he was convinced he had my full attention, he said, “It blows my mind to know that you think this could ever be bad. That’s not even a remote possibility.”
“But I feel very unsure of myself,” I admitted. “I don’t know what to do to make sure you enjoy it, too. And if you don’t enjoy this because I ruined it, I’m never going to be able to show my face in public again.”
Knox’s hand came up to the side of my face. His thumb stroked along my cheek as he promised, “What happens here tonight is between the two of us. I’ll love what we have tonight, no matter where it goes. But even if you were right and for some reason I can’t even imagine I didn’t enjoy it, you wouldn’t need to hide, Avery. This is between us, and nobody else. But I can pretty much guarantee you I’m going to enjoy every single second of it. Okay?”
I couldn’t help myself. The gentle tone of his voice and the tender touch of his finger on my cheek was almost too much for me to handle. Not wanting to cry at just how sweet he was being, I confirmed, “It is going to be more than just seconds, right?”
A battle with himself to not burst out laughing again ensued. It took him some time to get a hold on it, but once he did, he said, “I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out. That said, and in all seriousness, you don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t need to feel unsure, babe. Since I walked through that door earlier this evening, you’ve been so confident, doing a hell of a job of teasing me, Avery. Now knowing you don’t have practice in it, and this is all just coming naturally… I think I’m the one that’s going to be in for a real treat.”
“Do you really mean that?” I asked.
“Yes, babe. Why would I lie about that?” he countered.
Feeling foolish, I murmured, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“I’m glad you did,” he told me. “Because now instead of you being inside your own head about it, you’ll be able to be in the moment with me and enjoy it.”
That was good. That was exactly what I wanted. Just him and me. Knox and Avery. Nothing else.
“Okay.”
“Do you trust me, Avery?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I whispered my reply.
“Good. Then trust me to lead us tonight. I swear to you, if you do that and let go of whatever insecurities you’ve got in your head, when you get to where I’m taking you, where I’m taking us, you won’t regret it,” Knox remarked.
The conviction in his tone had me wanting nothing more than him to get to work on taking us wherever he was going to take us.
> My hand came up to his face, and my eyes followed my thumb as it traced along his lips. After I did that, my hand slid to the side of his neck, and I whispered, “Where are you taking us?”
“Are you ready to find out?”
I dipped my chin. “Yeah.”
At that, with one arm cradling me behind my back and the other under my knees, Knox stood and carried me through the house, to the stairs, and straight to my bedroom.
I couldn’t wait to see where we were going, but I knew I hadn’t ever been so excited about something in my life.
After gently placing me down on my feet by the bed, Knox searched my face for a long time. Then he drove one hand into my hair and slipped the other around my waist. Tugging me close, his mouth captured mine, and I was instantly lost again.
But somehow, I knew Knox was going to make sure I found my way.
So, I gave in.
And what came next was beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
Knox’s hand at my waist drifted down over the curve of my ass. He held me there, squeezing me tenderly while pressing his hips forward into me.
Though it only made me want him that much more, I had a feeling he wanted me to know just how wild he was for me. To reassure me that I had nothing to worry about.
My fingertips pressed in just as he tore his mouth from me.
“Love the dress, Avery, but it’s time to lose it,” he declared.
Wanting to give him whatever he wanted, knowing he was leading me, I reached for the hem of my dress.
“No,” he ordered.
I froze.
He smiled before he said, “I get to take it off you.”
Right. Okay.
Knox’s fingers touched the skin on my thighs as his mouth touched the skin at my chest. My body shivered, and I felt him smile against me.
Gripping the hem of my dress, Knox began sliding it up my body. The next thing I knew, the dress was gone, and I was standing there in nothing but a bra and a pair of panties.
“Your turn,” he urged me.
My turn. My turn. Understanding what he was urging me to do, I reached out to his shirt and began lifting it up his body. Knox eventually helped when I could no longer reach to pull it completely off his arms.