by Ashlee Price
I knew she would.
"Because for once in my life, I want to be accountable for my actions," I answer.
"But you - "
"I'm tired of making excuses," I go on. "I don't want to be the man who gives up before he tries, who can't face his mistakes. Or the man who runs away from things when they get too hard or inconvenient. Or the man who throws things away before finding out what they're worth."
Candace falls silent.
I glance at her. "I don't want to be the man who has nothing."
She places her hand over mine and sighs. "Dustin, if Sidney or I said anything to - "
"Besides..." I pull my hand away and drape my arm over the back of the bench as I sit back. "As it turns out, Marian is really nice. She's a doctor."
"Really?" She sounds surprised.
I nod.
"Have you told her of your decision? Wait, does she even know the two of you are married?"
I'm guessing she does since she's been trying to call me all day. She's sent a bunch of messages to my phone, too, mostly asking where I am and saying we need to talk. I suppose the director of the hospital probably told her about it, since I did mention her name when I said I was donating a huge amount of money to the hospital.
"We'll talk," I tell Candace. "I'm sure we'll figure things out."
She draws a deep breath. "Well, I have to say this is a surprise. I definitely wasn't expecting this. But hey, if this is what you want, if this is what you've decided to..."
"It is."
"Then I'll support you. I'm sure Sidney and the others will support you, too."
I get off the bench and slip my hands into my pockets. "I don't need your support. Or theirs."
She lifts her shoulders so they bunch up. "Okay."
I turn away. "By the way, tell Sidney to slow down a little. His surgery went well and he got lucky this time, but you know..."
"I will."
"Take care of him. He's the one you should be taking care of."
"Okay."
I start to walk off.
"Good luck!" Candace calls after me.
"Thanks." I glance over my shoulder. "Thanks for everything. But Candace?"
"Yes?"
"You don't have to worry about me anymore."
I face forward and walk away. This time, I'm walking away from her for real.
Sidney was right. I can't stop people from caring about me, but I can keep them from worrying about me by taking care of myself. From now on, I'm going to try to be responsible. I'm taking charge of my life instead of throwing it away.
Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Marian.
~
The next afternoon I find Marian already waiting at the quaint cafe I told her about. She's chosen a table right next to the wall fountain, probably so the sound of the water trickling down from the turtle's mouth can mask our conversation from prying ears. Not that there will be any. It's early in the afternoon, so there's just her and three other customers seated several tables away. There's only one waiter left, too, the others having gone on their break to have their late lunch. Just as I wanted.
She has her red hair twisted in a messy bun at her nape. Some wavy strands cascade past her cheeks. A grey cardigan tops her pink shirt, matched with light washed jeans and teal canvas shoes. Why, she almost blends in with the pastel colors of the cafe.
It's clear that she's anxious from the way she's toying with the pendant of her necklace and constantly glancing at her phone, maybe even in the way she's got her finger trapped between her teeth. Not the fingertip, but the whole length. Now, where have I seen that mannerism before? She takes a sip from her cup of coffee and sighs. Then she sits back with her arms folded between her breasts and frowns.
Okay. She's starting to get impatient, which means I have to get out there.
I draw a deep breath. And to think I said I'd never have a date with her again.
Then again, technically, this isn't a date. It's just... a meeting. A very serious one.
I step out from behind the curtain and make my way towards her. When she sees me, her copper eyes grow wide. Then she pouts.
"You're late," Marian says after glancing at the screen of her phone again.
"No." I take my seat. "You're early. How did you manage to get off work so easily?"
She snorts. "Haven't you heard? What I want at the hospital, I now get, thanks to the donation you made."
"Oh." I smile. "You're welcome."
She frowns. "Do I look grateful?"
"No," I admit. "And I have to say I'm confused as to why not."
"Well, then, allow me to enlighten you." She leans forward. "I'll go straight to the point - I don't appreciate the fact that you lied about us being married."
Ah. She doesn't believe it. Then again, neither did I when Candace first told me. I expected as much, which is why I've brought a copy of the marriage license and the marriage certificate. I don't bring them out yet, though.
I clasp my hands on top of the table. "I didn't lie."
Marian rolls her eyes. "So what? The Director lied?" She shakes her head. "I don't think so. That man isn't one to pretend he likes someone unless there's something in it for him."
I shrug. "You're extremely likeable."
"He likes me because you donated the money, because you said I was your wife."
"I'm not saying that's not what I said. I'm saying I didn't lie."
She sighs. "Can we please just...?"
"I didn't lie," I repeat as I take the envelope out of my backpack. "You can see for yourself."
I put the envelope on the table. She looks at it with creased eyebrows.
"What is this?"
I push it closer towards her. "Like I said, open it and see for yourself."
Marian narrows her eyes at me and hesitates for a moment, but then curiosity gets the better of her and she opens the envelope. She takes out the sheets of paper. As she reads them, her eyes grow wide and her jaw drops.
I sit back. "That was almost the same reaction I had."
She puts the papers down. "No way. These are fake."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but they're real. I got those straight from the County Clerk's office. If you want, you can go there yourself and ask for your own copies."
"I don't want my own copies." She shakes her head. "There must be some mistake."
I say nothing.
Her gaze narrows. "You paid someone at the County Clerk's office to forge these documents, didn't you? I mean, if you could donate a million dollars to the hospital, you could definitely pay a clerk to put my name on a marriage license."
"And forge your signature?"
I point to the part where she signed. Marian's eyes grow even wider, then she shakes her head more adamantly.
"Signatures get forged all the time."
This time, I shake my head. "If someone forged your signature, it would look perfect, wouldn't it? But this looks hasty. You signed it in a hurry."
"I didn't sign it," she insists.
"But you did."
"When?"
I sigh. "It's funny that you don't remember given the fact that I was the one on morphine."
Marian pauses. Her eyebrows furrow. I can almost see the pieces coming together inside her head.
"That man who said he married people..."
"Yes." I nod. "As it turns out, he really has been authorized by the County Clerk's office to issue marriage licenses and perform marriage ceremonies in hospitals."
Her eyebrows bunch up even more. "But I don't remember saying 'I do.'"
I shrug. "Don't ask me. I don't remember, remember? But I must have said it or some version of it. And I must have signed. Well, I did sign. That is my signature."
Marian scratches her chin. "Well, things got chaotic when my interns showed up and someone coded. Maybe I mistook the marriage license for some medical document and signed. Maybe I nodded, too, but in answer to something else, and the man just mistook it for me agreeing to ma
rry you."
"Maybe."
"Then it's a mistake." She pushes the papers back towards me. "This can't be valid."
"But it is. It's already been filed."
"Maybe if we explain what happened, they'll unfile it, you know, delete it from their records."
"That sounds complicated."
"It sounds right," Marian points out. "This isn't our fault."
"So it's okay for you if the man who did this gets fired?"
"Well, it's his fault."
"For trying to marry two crazy people who said they wanted to be married?"
"I didn't want to be married."
"But didn't you tell me that when I asked you to marry me, you said yes?" I remind her.
Marian falls silent.
"Well, did you?"
"Fine, but I didn't mean it."
"The poor guy who married us didn't know that. Still want to get him fired?"
Marian sighs. "So you're saying we just stay married, then? Just like that, we're just going to be man and wife?"
"We are man and wife."
"No." She shakes her head again. "We'll get a divorce. We can, right?"
I shake my head. "No."
"No?" She sends me a puzzled look from across the table.
"No," I repeat as I square my chin. "We're not getting a divorce. At least, I'm not giving you one."
Her jaw drops. "Why not?"
I grin. "Because I happen to like you."
That doesn't amuse her.
"And if I recall, we seem to be compatible. At least, our bodies are."
That doesn't amuse her either.
"So you're saying you want me to be your wife so you can have sex with me?"
"Amazing sex," I correct her. "Over and over again. In fact, as often as you wish."
She falls silent.
"Mind you, I don't usually have sex with the same woman more than once, so..."
"So I should be honored to be your sex toy?" Marian finishes the sentence.
I touch my chin. "I don't think that analogy is correct. After all, sex toys don't get any pleasure. They only give. And I assure you that you will get - "
"No," Marian says.
I narrow my eyes at her. "What? You did get a lot of it before, didn't you? Don't tell me you were faking it, because I know you weren't."
"I didn't fake it."
"So you enjoyed it but now you're acting like a hypocrite - "
"I'm not acting like a hypocrite," she cuts me off. "And insulting me isn't going to help. I don't want to be married to you. I don't want to be your wife. Not for the sex. Not for money. Not for anything. Can't you understand that?"
I don't answer. I expected the shock. I anticipated the disbelief and maybe even a struggle for her to accept my proposal. But this outright defiance? Where is this coming from?
"So you're saying you don't want me?" I ask her.
"No," Marian answers.
My chest tightens.
"I don't want to be your wife," she goes on. "I don't want to be Mrs. Montgomery."
"Even though you enjoyed the date we had? And the sex? And you were so giddy for hours after?"
She purses her lips in silence.
"What? Don't you want me now that you've gotten what you wanted?"
She looks at me in horror.
"You just used me. That's it?"
"I didn't..." Marian draws a deep breath. "You were the one who disappeared, Dustin."
"My brother was in a hospital in Boston," I explain. "He just went through cardiac surgery."
The frustration on her face vanishes. "Oh."
Ah. Now I get it.
"You were mad at me because you thought I just suddenly disappeared on you," I say. "That's why you wouldn't even give this marriage a chance. Well, now, I've told you, so - "
"The answer is still no, Dustin," Marian says. "And it's not because I was mad at you or anything. It's just... this is wrong."
This is wrong? For the first time in my life, I'm trying to do the right thing and she says it's wrong?
I won't have it.
"Let's just get a divorce, Dustin." She places her hand over mine. "It's the most sensible thing to do."
"I'm not giving you one," I tell her sternly as I pull my hand away.
"Dustin..."
"If you ask for a divorce, you'll have to return the money I donated on your behalf. You don't want to owe me, do you?"
Her eyes grow wide. "But I didn't - "
"Or maybe I'll just take it back. What do you think the Director will say?" I touch my chin. "And what about all those people whose lives could have gotten better?"
Marian swallows.
"Also, what if you're pregnant? Are you saying you'll get rid of the baby?"
"No." She glances at her belly. "But we don't know..."
"I didn't use any protection," I tell her. "Did you?"
She doesn't answer, but her expression confirms my suspicion.
"If you're pregnant and you're keeping the baby, do you really want your child to not have a father?"
Marian frowns. "You are being unfair."
"Maybe." I shrug. "Or maybe you are since you're the one who agreed to marry me even though you were the one who supposedly knew what you were doing."
She glares at me. "I - "
"Either way, life is unfair but we have to put up with it anyway and make the most of it. At least, that's what I've been told is the responsible thing to do."
She falls silent.
"Do you really want a divorce?" I ask her. "Do you want to stay a selfish, irresponsible coward all your life?"
Marian looks away.
I get out of my seat, place my hand on the back of her chair and lean over her.
"I thought so."
Chapter Eleven
Marian
I never thought I would end up like this - married in the first year of my residency to a man who has a million dollars to spare, a man I barely know, a man who now thinks he owns me but hates me.
I stare at the contents of my locker with a frown as I recall Dustin's words.
How on earth did he come up with the idea that we should stick to a marriage neither of us really wanted? And what, he thought I was just going to go with it because I enjoyed having sex with him?
I don't know which of those I find more infuriating.
What's most infuriating of all, though, is that now I don't seem to have a choice. Even if I file for a divorce, Dustin won't sign the papers and I doubt any judge can make him, given the fact that he's richer and more powerful than I am. Or maybe he'll sign but make me pay the one million dollars. Of course, I don't have that much money, and I can't let Hal pay that. I can't even let him know about this. And if he demands that the hospital return the money, Dr. Easton and the whole staff will be pissed at me.
I'm trapped. I have no choice but to be Mrs. Montgomery.
And maybe it's not so bad. I'll be wealthy. I'll have a handsome husband who I can have hot sex with. And I may even have a kid who will grow up with good looks and everything he or she could ever want. All that in addition to being a doctor.
On the outside, I'll be the envy of all my friends. In secret, I'll be crying tears of misery for the rest of my life because no matter how great my husband is, I'm still married to a man who doesn't love me. And according to Dustin, I have only myself to blame.
I slam the door of my locker shut and press my forehead against the wood.
It's so fucking unfair.
"Oh, you're not having a bad day, are you?" Lisa, one of the other residents, asks me. "Because if you are, I'm sure you can ask the Chief to give you the day off."
My eyebrows arch as I turn to her. What?
"Or you can just ask the Chief to give you all the surgeries for today," her friend Kim says. "That's what I'd do. Then again, I'm not you. I can't have everything I want in this hospital. I'm not the Chief's favorite."
"Or the Director's whore," Lisa adds.
/> "Shh." Kim holds a finger to her lips. "She might have us fired, you know."
Lisa gives me a fake smile. "Sorry."
They shut their locker doors and leave the lounge smirking.
I turn to Kelly. "What was that all about?"
"Oh, they're just jealous," Kelly answers as she leans on her locker. "Because you're getting all the good stuff around here."
"I'm not," I argue.
"You just got an extra day off," Kelly points out. "Even though a lot of us have to beg for one, or be lying on our death bed. You've been scrubbing in on the coolest surgeries. You even get free food from the cafeteria. Oh, and rumor has it that when the surgical wing gets done with its expansion and renovation, it will be named after you."
My eyebrows rise. I didn't hear that last bit.
"So yeah." Kelly lifts her shoulders. "Some people are jealous."
I sigh as I pull out a chair to sit on. "And they think I'm sleeping with the Director?"
She shrugs. "Well, people usually like to make up rumors about people they're jealous of. Also, someone saw you going to the Director's office."
I slump in the chair. "I am not sleeping with the Director."
"So there's another reason why he made you the boss of this hospital, next in power only to him?" Kelly asks.
"Yes."
She crosses her arms over her chest as she waits for me to elaborate.
I turn to her. I want to tell her the truth. Really, I do. I want to get my worries off my mind and this weight of my chest. But I can't tell her I'm married to Dustin, not even if she's my best friend. If I do, it will make it seem more real and me more stupid.
I already know Kelly's better than me. She's smarter and more patient and she's a great doctor. My only advantage over her is that guys find me attractive, and I'm supposed to use that to end up in a good relationship. The one I had with Liam is already a failure. I don't want her to think I'll be in a miserable relationship all my life. I can't have her looking down on me.
"Well?" Kelly asks me.
"The Director... and I just recently found out we're... related."
"Oh. So you're like his niece or his granddaughter?"
"Distant relative," I say. "Like a niece twice removed."
"Oh." Her eyebrows crease. "And yet he cares so much about you."
I shrug. "Apparently he's really big on family."
"Really? I thought he divorced his first wife who he had three kids with."