WEEK 13
SEAGULLS ON THE WING
Guys: this is your chance to truly arouse and indulge your lover. Ask her to sit on the edge of the bed and lie back and close her eyes. Pick one of her feet up and gently kiss the sole. Now work your way up her calf and her thigh, and apply your tongue to her clitoris. Do this for a really long time. When you’re pretty sure that you can’t arouse her any more without tipping her over the edge, get into a kneeling position, hold her firmly with your hands and enter her.
spine tingling
take hold… satisfy him
Forget the word “hand job” and think EROTIC massage instead. He will love to be “handled” by you, especially if you initiate his arousal and TAKE CHARGE of the pleasure. While he’ll know what he likes and how he wants to be touched, embrace the idea that you’re offering him something UNIQUE and special, something that only you can deliver. And although he’ll probably be able to come quickly, don’t make his orgasm your immediate aim; instead, EXPLORE and see what happens … his role is to relax and enjoy.
14-26 mind sex
WEEK 14
BAMBOO
“Mind sex” is all about matching the position to your mood. Pick Bamboo when you want a fast erotic charge. It works best if she’s taller than him and he’s well endowed. Guys, if you’re finding it hard to make your entrance, squat and ask her to part her legs and lean back. Or she can gain some height by wearing heels (not if you’re in the shower though). Even if he enters her only a little way there’s a good chance the head of his penis will land on her G-spot (see pages 28–29).
WEEK 15
THE CLASPING POSITION
This position is great for that “I’m so in love with you” feeling. You can’t get any closer. It’s also good for an intimate reunion after a physical – or emotional – separation. It lends itself to soulful partings, too. Don’t hold back: he can clasp her head in his hands, you can push your bodies together, wrap your arms around each other in a bear hug. Breathe, sigh, pant, moan. Tell each other what you feel.
variety… the spice of life
In the words of the Ananga Ranga: “The chief thing that drives men to the embraces of strange women, and women to the arms of strange men, is the want of varied PLEASURES and the monotony that follows possession.” So vary your positions and have different styles of sex. Sometimes you can have QUICKIE sex – clothes off and straight down to business. Sometimes it can be SLOW, SENSUAL eye-gazing sex. Sometimes she leads and he does exactly what he’s told to – at other times, he TAKES CHARGE.
WEEK 16
FIFTH POSTURE
There’s something friendly yet oh-so-erotic about sideways sex. Perhaps it’s because neither of you can dominate. Or because it’s like a naughtier version of the missionary position. Get close to each other and find a rhythm that feels good – give each other plenty of “mmmms” and “ohhhhhs” as feedback. And, once you’ve found that rhythm, don’t stop. And take advantage of being face to face – kiss, whisper and gaze at each other.
take turns to be in charge
seduce… the mind
What can be more intimate than getting inside your lover’s mind … Great sex is not only about pleasuring your lover’s body – getting them in the right frame of mind can make a huge difference to both their and your enjoyment of a sexual experience.
PLANT A SEXY THOUGHT: This can be a faster track to arousal than an hour of foreplay. For example, you and your partner might be lazily watching television or getting ready for work … sex couldn’t be further from your mind. Then your partner utters a few magic words and suddenly you’ve got to have each other. The trick is to know the words that will flick that sexual switch in your partner’s brain.
TAKE THEM BY SURPRISE: One of the biggest passion killers in the bedroom is routine. Anything that’s repetitive gets boring and this even applies to the way you talk to your lover. If you habitually talk dirty, it tends to lose its power to thrill. If you’re shy or coy, the novelty of the “how-can-I-lure-her-into-bed” chase eventually wears off. Vary your approach – if you’re not the type to be direct or explicit, whisper “I want to **** you now.” Or if romance isn’t your usual style, use phrases like “making love” – it may sound corny to your ears, but your lover will love the novelty of a new approach.
USE COMPLIMENTS: You may find that paying your lover a genuine compliment is often a more seductive gift than any amount of roses, candlelit dinners or bottles of champagne.
WEEK 17
THIGH CLASP
Who’s really in charge when you have sex? She may look submissive in this “missionary-style” position but, in fact, she dominates as she grasps him between her thighs. It’s a great position for tightly packed intensity and, for some women, it’s got great orgasm potential. Instead of thrusting, both lovers grind their pelvises together, rocking against each other (when she rocks forward he rocks back, and vice versa).
WEEK 18
TIGER STEP
Here he has clearly decided to take charge and she enjoys a submissive role. This is faceless sex at its “downest” and dirtiest. For sky-high eroticism she can adopt this position for some pre-sex cunnilingus – it’s not for the shy, but if you trust each other and want to explore dominance/surrender, it’s a good place to start. To penetrate her, he places one hand on her head and one on her hips – this is meant to symbolize restraint, not to actually hold her down.
WEEK 19
THE SWING
Girls: you get to turn him on here by taking charge. Straddle him cowgirl-style, with your back to him, then slowly lean forward so that you’re resting on your hands and knees. The important bit is “slowly” – you’re bending his penis away from its natural direction, so treat him with care. Now move your bum up and down, from side to side, or in circles. Go slowly at first to check he’s OK with the movement, and to find out how far you can move without him slipping out.
she controls…
get creative… fantasize
Used in the right way, sexual fantasies can enhance pleasure. Fantasizing is the low-risk way of testing your sexual boundaries and experimenting with the NAUGHTY, the dirty and the taboo. So if you’ve ever fancied a threesome, an ORGY or joining the mile-high club, what are you waiting for? Fantasizing is also a great way to add an extra FRISSON to sex with your lover or during solo masturbation. If you’re in the MOOD for sex, but don’t have a great deal of time, a fantasy can make you erect or wet fast.
WEEK 20
RAINBOW ARCH
The distance and anonymity of this position makes it great for fantasizing during sex, and as he doesn’t usually enter at this angle, it will feel excitingly novel. As well as experimenting with a new angle, you also get deep penetration plus a foot and shoulder massage. The challenge is getting into the position. An easy way is to start in Cicada to the Side (see page 81), then she leans forward and clasps his ankles. He then guides her thighs around his so she’s straddling him on her side.
WEEK 21
YAWNING POSITION
This position is great for pleasuring both men and women: he enjoys the eroticism of seeing and feeling her legs along the front of his body; she gets to feel sexy and powerful. It also looks good – he looks strong and manly and she looks pliant and supple. If he wants to open up this position even further, he can take one of her ankles in each hand and hold her legs wide apart.
WEEK 22
PRESSED POSITION
It can be highly arousing for him to take charge and this is the perfect position for when he’s feeling dominant and she wants to lie back and feel deeply penetrated. She can do lots of manoeuvres with her legs: she can move her ankles to rest on his shoulders, spread her legs wide apart with her feet in the air, slide her feet down to his belly, rest one foot on the bed or try the Half-pressed Position (see page 24).
WEEK 23
GALLOPING HORSE
This one is for kinky pleasure – even though there aren’t any cuff
s or restraints being used, it feels like he’s holding her down. Guys: imagine you’re on a bolting horse. Grab her ankle with one hand and the back of her neck with the other (no pressure on the front of the neck though). Now hang on as you thrust, pump and grind your way to the peak of arousal. Try it if you want to know how it feels to be dominant or to be dominated.
tempt, tease… turn them on
Up the eroticism of your lovemaking with some tantalizing tease techniques. One of the seductive things about a lover you barely know is the “Will they? Won’t they?” tension. So what do you do when you’ve been together for years and there is no uncertainty about ending up in bed together? The answer is: you tease and seduce anyway. Think dirty rather than clean. As the Kama Sutra says: lovers are allowed to talk suggestively of things that are normally considered coarse.
BATHTIME FUN: Surprise your lover as they’re getting out of the bath and offer to dry them. Pay attention to their hot spots. Tease by giving a little and then holding back a little – as soon as they become aroused take your towel to a lesser erogenous zone. Then home in again.
DRESS UP: Swap comfy clothes for sexy ones. Wear indoors what you consider too risqué to wear outdoors. Alternatively, just wear underwear – buy something sexy and let your partner discover it by asking them to undress you. Impose a look-but-don’t-touch rule at first.
GO ON A SEX DIET: Agree on a short period of sexual abstinence. The rules are: you can touch each other in any way you like – licking, kissing, stroking – but no sexual penetration is allowed. You’ll quickly find new ways to please each other and enjoy experimenting!
WEEK 24
WIDELY OPENED POSITION
She needs to stay focused in this position and move as slowly as possible, aiming to feel every inch of his shaft. He will feel not just embraced, but completely desired. The satisfaction comes from the fact that you can both reach orgasm. She opens herself as widely as possible to him and moves her body up to meet his. If she’s strong, he doesn’t have to move at all; she just raises and lowers herself on his penis (keeping her bum off the bed). On each downward movement, she contracts her vaginal muscles tightly to “milk” him.
lasting pleasure
be a bit… naughty
Girls: 1. BEND OVER in front of your partner to pick something up (so what if you forgot to wear pants under that short skirt?). Bend from your hips so your bum stays high in the air. 2. Wear something naughty and UNEXPECTED (nipple clamps/a basque/body paint/high heels and nothing else) and STRADDLE him while he’s watching television. Guys: 1. Shave or trim your body hair (pubes included) and strike a pose NAKED on the bed. 2. Serve her breakfast in bed wearing a pair of LATEX shorts – and don’t forget the rose between your teeth!
WEEK 25
RISING POSITION
The key to this position is to both let go of your inhibitions. She parts her legs in a wide V-shape. He climbs on top. The result is a sexy take on the missionary position. It’s ideal for those moments when you’re overcome with lust and don’t want anything too experimental or fancy. This isn’t a position for slow, gentle moves – now’s the time for thrusting genital-bumping. Get breathless. Writhe. Make as much noise as you want to: moan, pant, gasp, cry, scream. Let go.
hard & fast
put your trust… in your lover
One sex prop that can change the flavour of a sexual encounter instantly, bringing new and pleasurable sensations, is a blindfold. It takes you into an inner world of eroticism, face to face with the power of your own imagination.
FEED AND TEASE: Blindfold your lover and ply them with sensual and tactile treats to engage their senses, such as a sip of champagne or a piece of chocolate; a silk scarf wafted across their skin; a dirty suggestion whispered in their ear.
MAKE LOVE: Let your partner make love to you while you wear a blindfold. Take the chance to let go and just concentrate on all the non-visual aspects of sex. Note the way your partner touches you – is the touch soft, brisk, gentle, rough or tender? How does each touch make you feel? You’re likely to find it’s a highly sensual and erotic lovemaking experience.
ROLEPLAY: Use a blindfold as a short cut to roleplaying. Once you’ve deprived your lover of sight, you can become anyone you want to be. You might even find it’s easier to share sex secrets and fantasies if you’re not looking into each other’s eyes.
THE NAKED GAME: Blindfold your lover while they are standing up, then slowly undress them, pausing to kiss, suck, lick or stimulate them. Make it clear you’re in charge. When they’re naked and aroused, turn them round three times. Now hide somewhere and ask them to come and find you using touch alone.
WEEK 26
HORSE SHAKES FEET
Having some distance in lovemaking can add to the eroticism and make you want each other even more. In this position she keeps him apart from her with her legs on his chest and shoulder. The restraining influence of her feet gives him the chance to thrust lightly in the outer part of her vagina. This is the most erotically charged zone and has great orgasm-making potential, especially when he combines shallow thrusting with a finger or two on her clitoris.
desire each other
submit… or take control
You can get KINKY and have great fun with raunchy roleplaying. If you’re the one wielding the power, this is your chance to BE THE BOSS. Enjoy it. Take charge and tell your lover exactly what you want them to do (and what they’re not allowed to do). If you’re the submissive one, discover the joy of SURRENDER by completely letting go. Allow yourself to become truly VULNERABLE – if you’re normally tough in your everyday life, you might find it surprisingly cathartic to behave in this way.
27-40 kama sutra wisdom
WEEK 27
CONGRESS OF A COW
A classic, simple Kama Sutra position – she bends over and he penetrates. For fast, spontaneous, dirty sex it can’t be beaten. The drawbacks are: a) he’ll come too soon (the sight of her raised bum plus complete freedom of movement may prove too much for him); b) she may find it uncomfortable, especially if he’s got a large penis. Use lube to make it smooth and slick.
WEEK 28
FIRST POSTURE
One of many Kama Sutra “postures”, this may be a missionary position, but in terms of sexiness, satisfaction and intimacy it’s a winner – you get to see each other’s faces, hold each other and move freely. Even though he’s on top, it doesn’t mean that she lies passively below. She can undulate so that her hips rise to meet his thrusts. He can respond by being creative, using lots of shallow, then deep, thrusts.
WEEK 29
CICADA TO THE SIDE
A more intimate version of “spoons”, this position lets you see each other’s faces. Compared to its sister position, Cicada on a Bough (see page 14), it’s romantic rather than raunchy, and sedate rather than frantic – both of which are great for slowing things down and focusing on the nuances of sensuality. If you want to up the raunch-factor, she can raise her leg in the air.
really make love
learn… the right moves
The Kama Sutra shows the man many ways in which to move inside the woman. In the BOAR’S THRUST, he enters her as normal, then thrusts so that his penis rubs against the side of her vagina. In the BULL’S THRUST, his penis rubs each side of her vagina alternately. To perform the TONGS, she pulls him deeply inside her and holds him there, squeezing her pelvic floor muscles. Or sitting on him she does the SPINNING TOP, whereby she twists around to face his feet – a tricky, centuries-old manoeuvre!
WEEK 30
POSITION OF INDRANI
This position ticks lots of boxes: intimacy, romance, passion, eye contact, deep penetration, skin-to-skin contact … Like many Kama Sutra sex positions, he’s on top and, because her legs are pressed to her chest, he alone is in charge of the motion. If you enjoy the feelings of dominance and surrender that this brings, go for it. Then, if you want, switch round so that she has a turn to go on top and take charge.
WEEK
31
LARGE BEE
If he enjoys an erotic wake-up call, this is the way to do it. She uses her hands or mouth to coax his penis into action, then leans over him and plants featherlight kisses from his neck down to his belly and then along the length of his shaft. She then straddles him in a squat (think of a hovering bee about to suck nectar and you’ll get the point of this position). He doesn’t take much of her weight, but still gets the joy of being tightly enclosed by her. She can move in any way that gives her pleasure.
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