by Deirdra Eden
Azrael held my hand and helped me from my horse. My body was so exhausted I collapsed into his arms. Normally, I would have pulled away, but I just stood there, resting against his chest as my tears soaked the front of his shirt. “Please forgive me,” I whispered. “I almost married someone I wasn’t in love with.” I opened my mouth to say “I really love you,” but couldn’t press out the words past the emotion.
Azrael gently crushed me against his chest and kissed the top of my head. “You only did what you thought was best. It was noble of you to willingly sacrifice yourself to save human lives and protect Starfire. You put the happiness of others above your own, and I cannot blame you for that.”
It only made me more emotional that he was so forgiving.
Azrael stroked my hair. “We have to go through hell to get to heaven.” He gazed into my eyes as if diving into my soul. “I have my heaven, right here in my arms.”
I caught my breath and bravely allowed myself to get lost in the depths of his beauty and benevolence. I reached up and traced the cursed mask around his eyes. I savored the passionate and tender feelings orbiting my heart. “There’s something I want to say to you.” I held my breath and prepared to break his curse by confessing my love for him.
“Azrael, Aura!” Korban shouted. “We’ve got to leave now.”
Azrael’s gaze shot to the billowing obsidian clouds of vengeance blanketing the sky and forbidding morning to ever come.
Baby’s fur stood like the needles of a pine tree. He watched the darkening woods with wary eyes, and jumped at the slightest movement.
“We are going to split into two groups,” Korban said. “It will be harder for the Shadow Wolves to track us if we head in opposite directions. In the morning, we will loop around and meet at Swansea.”
Red lightning whipped across the sky. Instead of thunder, the heavens echoed with a screech like a banshee. Icy pellets of rain hit my skin. I swallowed hard. The sheer terror of being hunted like prey hit me. Chills ran down my spine as if the Shadow Wolf’s hot breath already washed over me.
Dark clouds of mist crashed through the forest like the waves of an ocean storm and shrouded us in darkness.
The horses stomped at the ground. I blinked, forcing my eyes to adjust quickly to the deepening darkness.
“Blast!” Korban cursed. “We don’t have much of a head start.” The rain drizzled into puddles forming along the dirt road. “I will ride east with Orion.” Korban pointed at Azrael and instructed, “You ride west with Aura. Don’t let anything happen to her, or the High Druid of Fire will have your head.”
“I’m not worried about my head.” Azrael pulled me under his arm. “It’s my heart I’m worried about. I won’t lose her.”
Lightning flashed and shrieking thunder echoed across the dark rolling hills. Sheets of rain fell in waves and pounded against the muddy road. Orion was the only one wearing a cloak. He removed it and handed it to Azrael. Azrael draped the warm cloak around me and connected the clasp. “Are you ready, Aura?” he asked.
I nodded. Whether I was ready or not, we had to go.
“The storm will wash our scent away,” Azrael assured me. “By the time the Shadow Wolves pick up our trail, we will be miles away from England and halfway to the sanctuary.”
Korban tightened his jaw. He bounded onto his horse, yanked on the reins, and turned east.
Orion put his massive hand on Azrael’s shoulder. “Ride hard, my friend.”
Azrael returned the gesture with his strong grip. “Godspeed, my brother in arms.”
Orion mounted and turned east with Korban. Their horses took off at a sprint and the two disappeared into the shrouded forest. I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the last time I would see them. They didn’t say it, but I knew Korban and Orion took the more dangerous road. They were acting as decoys.
Azrael turned to me. He kept his voice low and calm despite the urgent circumstances. “I will ride on your right and Baby will run on your left. We are your shields. No matter what happens, stay between us.”
I nodded. Azrael lifted me onto my horse as if I were weightless. My hands gripped the slick, wet reins until my knuckles turned white and pulsed for release. I was a warrior. I had to keep fighting. I had to stay strong. I had to stay focused. I looked at the dark road ahead of me. I wasn’t going to let fear conquer me. I narrowed my eyes with determination and kicked my horse’s ribs.
The thundering hooves hit the ground and sprayed dark pools of mud into the air. Baby and Azrael kept my pace. The cold wind whistled past me and whipped the rain from my warm cheeks.
Lightning flashed overhead, illuminating the stormy indigo clouds dominating the sky. I kept my horse steady. The skies lit up again with electric fury. I memorized the road ahead and stayed the course when the world went black between flashes.
Hours passed and the rain died to a light shower, but we didn’t let up on our speed.
I glanced to my left and met Azrael’s silver eyes. With his ability to see through the darkness, he was not only my protector, but my guide as well. We rode hard until the moonlight broke through the clouds.
I had never seen such a bright night. The moon coated my skin with silver light and streaked across my hair making it shimmer. Every star seemed bigger and more glorious after escaping the Legion’s shroud. I relaxed my arms and slowed my pace to a trot. Azrael and Baby followed my lead. Mud drenched Baby’s silky white fur and caked his massive paws. He slunk forward along the trail, watching the woods dutifully.
I gripped my wet cloak tighter under my chin and whispered, “Thank you for coming back for me.” They were the first words either of us had spoken in hours.
“Always.” Azrael reached for my hand. White sparks flew between our fingers. I didn’t pull away from his touch, but let my fingers intertwine with his. The embrace felt natural, peaceful, and instinctual. My heart didn’t race like I thought it would, but instead I felt stronger, braver, and loved.
“Do you think Korban and Orion will be all right?” I asked.
Azrael laughed. “Those two can take on a whole pack of Shadow Wolves.”
I pulled away from his captivating gaze and looked up at the North Star.
Azrael stared into the heavens with me. His energy combined with mine through our joined hands and he pointed at two bright lights in the sky. “Venus and Mars align tonight. The mythical goddess of love and god of war make peace.”
I smiled and savored his warm velvety voice. A bright light streaked across the sky. I gasped. “A falling star. We should make a wish.”
“You first,” Azrael offered.
He was too good to me. I knew exactly what I wanted. “I wish for humans to have peace someday.” I lowered my head. Because of me, their peace would be delayed. “I feel like I’ve ruined everything.”
“You are a wonderful Watcher, and an extraordinary woman,” Azrael assured. “All Watchers are given training for Earth combat before they leave the kingdom. The king wouldn’t have sent you to Earth if you weren’t ready to fight.”
“I wish I could remember my training. Some of those moves might come in handy.”
“‘Tis all right if we make mistakes.” Azrael thoughtfully added, “We never completed all our training in Neviah. We are supposed to finish our training here on Earth. We will be much stronger when we return home victorious.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He knew just what to say when I was emotionally beating myself up. “Do you think we knew how hard it would be on Earth?”
I could sense Azrael choosing his words carefully. “Do you regret hosting a human body?”
I took a deep breath and thought about my answer. “Well, I have learned a lot since I came to Earth.” My memories seemed like a fluid dream I could swim through. I thought about all the humans I had ever loved. “No,” I answered, then added, “I don’t ever want to relive my past, but I’m glad I went through it. My experiences have made me who I am.”
Azrael smiled like
he had made his point.
“I can’t imagine what you’ve been through in your long life,” I said.
Azrael’s eyes sparkled like the stars overhead. “I’m still learning to be a good Watcher myself.”
“What are your earliest memories?” I prodded.
“My earliest memories on Earth?” Azrael stroked his chin thoughtfully. “I remember living with my uncle in Scotland after my human parents died. He raised me for seven years before I went to live at the Northern Sanctuary. Apparently ‘twas a deal my uncle made with the druids. They taught me about my powers and trained me. It wasn’t until I was immortal that I became a Watcher in Scotland.” Azrael paused, then added, “At least Erebus ‘tis dead now.”
A smile forced its way across my lips. “I will never forget the look on his face when you burst through the doors.”
Azrael laughed. “I wasn’t going to let you sacrifice yourself for us.” He turned serious and lowered his voice. “You are too important. The Rebellion fears you and your powers.”
I looked up at the night sky, hoping to see another shooting star. “I should have wished for something more practical than peace on Earth.” I lowered my gaze. “It seems there will be no end to war, which means we will never have peace.”
Azrael turned to me. “Take it from someone who has fought in many battles. Peace is not an end goal you achieve when everything is perfect in the world. It’s something you claim when everything is perfect in your heart.”
I knew he was right. It was just so hard to find peace in my heart after my foolish mistake with Erebus.
I gripped his hand tighter. “Now what is your wish?”
He lifted my hand and kissed it. The imprint of his lips seemed to linger on my skin. Azrael’s words were soft, but powerfully sincere. “‘Tis my deepest wish that you will allow me to court you formally.” He paused and held my hand tighter as if he were afraid I would run away. “I want to marry you, Auriella. I’ve wanted this for hundreds of years.”
The breath escaped my lungs. I swallowed fast and blinked several times. Why would an Immortal want to marry me? My body was fragile, weak, and would eventually die. My thoughts and emotions swam together like ingredients for a confusion potion. I desperately wanted to be with Azrael, but it would be the most tragic love story ever written.
“I can’t,” I managed to say past the pain of my aching heart. “I can’t understand why you would even want me.” I shook my head and squinted my eyes to keep from crying. “You are going to stay on Earth until Erebus is destroyed and I am going to grow old and die, just like the humans I protect.”
“Aura, you are the most amazing person I have ever met.” His voice was painfully genuine. “I will do anything to prove that one day I will be worthy to be your equal.”
I pulled away from him. “You are immortal and—perfect. You don’t have to prove anything to me.” I twisted the reins around my fingers. “What will you do when I grow old and die?” I didn’t wait for him to answer. “I don’t know how Immortals cope with living year after year, watching the decades fade while everyone around them dies.”
The memory of standing next to Lady Hannah’s bedside overpowered my mind. Alwaien had taken my hand and led me to his mother’s bedside. Lady Hannah’s thin, white hair lay against her ashen face. Handing the ruby necklace to me, she said, “Thank you for giving me this necklace. It truly was a precious gift, but the longer I keep it, the more it becomes a curse. I can’t live and watch everyone around me die.”
“I can’t live either!” I recalled falling to the ground and laying my head on her bed. My tears soaked the bedding as I gasped between sobs for painful breaths of air.
Lady Hannah had gripped my hand with amazing strength. Her words were fierce and powerful. “Auriella, you must live!”
I forced myself out of the nightmare and focused on the road ahead. “I can’t think of a worse hell than living forever.”
Azrael smiled, undeterred by my discouragement. “But I can think of no greater heaven than living with you for the rest of this life, and for the rest of eternity. The bonds of death won’t break us, and the fire of hell will never take us.” Azrael leaned closer. “Earth ‘tis only a brief phase of our existence. Someday, whether we die or not, we will all go back to Neviah.”
I tried to organize my swimming thoughts. “You see things so differently. I’ve never thought about what will happen to my Neviahan spirit when my human body dies.”
Azrael let out a quick laugh. “Death can be hard, but ‘tis not as bad as everyone thinks. If we die with honor, we go back to Neviah. Surprisingly, ‘tis a lot like this world, but purer.”
“Is this what the humans call heaven?” I couldn’t help but wonder what happened to my loved ones after they died.
“There are many different heavens for humans. Everyone goes to the heaven where they feel most comfortable,” Azrael answered. “Some humans even come to Neviah. The Great Kingdom of Neviah is a beautiful place.” His eyes flickered with remembrance. “‘Tis a crystal blue lake with all sorts of gems and shells at the bottom. When we get back, I will have to take you diving there again.”
“Do you remember more of Neviah?” I desperately wished I could remember my home.
“Only faint glimpses,” Azrael answered. “Unfortunately, most of my memories were veiled when I received my human body. But I retained one distinct memory.”
“What is it?” I fervently anticipated any information about my home world.
Like an innate reaction, Azrael reached out and touched my fingers. A blue spark the size of a flame shot from my hand to his. He closed his hand around mine. “I remember you, Aura.”
I hadn’t expected that answer. “What was I like?”
Azrael’s lips turned up and starlight danced in his eyes. “A lot like you are now.” Azrael paused thoughtfully before he continued, “I want to stand by your side in the battles of this life and the perfect peace of the next. I love you, Aura.” He swallowed hard. “Without you, I don’t live—I only exist.” His eyes glistened.
I looked down at his hands and remembered the way we connected when we created Starfire. Part of him would always be inside me now. No matter where I went or what I did, his energy would forever flow through me. I gasped at the inevitable thought of combining my soul with his again. At first the thought terrified me, but then filled me with delight.
I didn’t know what to say for a long time.
The night slowly faded and the eastern horizon glowed with the promise of morning. There was so much I wanted to ask. I wanted to know what Erebus meant when he called Azrael the “fourth son of the Neviahan king” and “Brother.” I needed to know about his dark years when he allied with the Shadow Legion.
Azrael finally broke the silence. “We have been traveling all night. Do you need to eat or rest?”
I shook my head. “Let’s keep going.”
“You are one determined lady,” Azrael said, then added, “And one tough mortal.”
A grin forced its way on my lips. “What about you? Do you need to sleep?” I asked.
Azrael shook his head. “‘Twas enough storm last night for the wind to refuel my energy.” He beamed brighter than the morning sun glistening off his dark hair. “You will have to marry me if you want to see me sleep.”
“Azrael,” I scolded. His playfulness lifted my spirits and made me melt. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.” I clenched my jaw and forced myself not to smile. “Do you ever sleep?” I managed to get out before I forgot my question.
“A little,” he answered. “Sleeping ‘tis more of a habit, and all habits can be broken.”
I looked down at the raindrops glittering off the leaves and spring grass on the side of the road. It must be wonderful not having to sleep. I brushed the hair from my face. “It’s one good thing I can see about being an Immortal.” I unwrapped my wet cloak and wrung the cloth. A stream of cold water flowed onto the muddy road below.
/> Azrael narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
“I have nightmares,” I admitted. “Every night. I’ve had them since I was first attacked by a Shadow Wolf when I was thirteen. I see the most horrible things in my dreams. The only time I can rest is when I’m awake.” I paused and waited for his reaction to my bizarre flaw.
“They are called Haunting Dreams.” Azrael’s voice softened sympathetically. “They come after very traumatic events.”
I pressed my hand to my forehead. “I’ve tried everything to make them go away.” I repressed the emotion flooding my voice. “I’m sure as an Immortal, all your nightmares happen while you are awake.”
“All my dreams happen while I’m awake, too.” Azrael looked at me with complete adoration. Love radiated like energy from his body. The wind brushed across my face and Azrael’s eyes twinkled in that majestic way I loved.
The sky glowed with lavender, coral, and gold, along with all the other warm colours of morning light. As we reached the top of a hill, the taste of sea salt and brine flooded my senses. The endless ocean sparkled like liquid sapphires.
“Swansea,” Azrael said. “‘Tis the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” he paused, and a smile escaped his lips. His strong hands swallowed mine. “Well, almost the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Bittersweet emotions hit me at once. I longed to go to the Neviahan sanctuary, but I would miss the only home I knew.
I looked back to admire England one last time. Every shade of green painted itself across the rolling hills and ancient forests. The sun broke through the remaining clouds and streaked golden light across the kingdom.
A thud vibrated in my ears like the sea slamming into the shore. I coughed for air and leaned over the horse to brace myself. The taste of blood gushed into my mouth and pain screamed in every nerve of my body. I lifted my arm and stared at the dagger penetrating deep into my ribcage.
“Aura!” The horror in Azrael’s voice frightened me.
My fingers stiffened like ice. I lost my grip and fell from the horse. Azrael snatched me as I dropped and laid me on the ground. The wooden handle protruded from my body. I strained to pull the weapon out of my chest.