Sage couldn’t hide her surprise. She sucked in a deep breath and bit her lip. “I can’t imagine how devastated you must have been. And hurt.”
“As a result, I can’t abide lies or liars. What kind of person tries to take advantage of a family like the Norths who’ve lived out their worst nightmare?”
Sage appeared shaken. Her mouth opened, then closed. Perhaps she thought he was being harsh about Theresa, but considering all the pain she’d caused him, he wasn’t about to give her a pass.
Hank had surprised himself by opening up to Sage about his past. Usually, he was more guarded with his private life. However, there was something about being here with her in the woods on the owl walk that made him feel as if he’d known her all his life. She seemed truly interested in his past and the circumstances that led to him raising Addie on his own.
He felt a slight tremor pass through him, remembering all the different emotions he’d gone through. Surprise. Fear. Betrayal. And grief for the woman he’d once loved. At the time he hadn’t been sure if he would make it through all the turmoil in one piece. But once again, God had lifted him up and shown him a light at the end of the tunnel—Addie.
Fear thou not; for I am with thee. Hank had recited that particular verse dozens of times during his most challenging hours. It served as a reminder he wasn’t alone even in the darkest of moments. God always walked beside him.
“I suppose I’ve never felt worthy of my own love story, so I wasn’t surprised when things fell apart with Theresa, but it really stunned me that she didn’t think I deserved to know about my daughter.”
Sage squinted at him. “Come again? Why on earth wouldn’t you be worthy of love?”
He shrugged, feeling a bit on the spot. He’d slipped up by admitting those feelings to Sage. How did he even begin to answer that question? It was an insecurity he’d been struggling with for a long time. Perhaps it went all the way back to when he’d lost his father. He wasn’t good in relationships. They always fell apart for some reason or another.
“I don’t know exactly. But it’s what I felt at the time with Theresa. I think she sensed it too. Exploited it even. She knew I didn’t feel as if I deserved the happy ending.”
Sage stopped walking and simply stared at him for a few moments. Finally, she spoke.
“I’ve only known you for a short time, Hank, but I do know you’re so very deserving of love. You’re wonderful and kind. You’re generous to a fault. And I’ve seen the loving way you treat Addie, Trudy and Piper, not to mention the sweet nature of your relationship with Beulah. If you’re not worthy of romantic love, I don’t know who is. Any woman would be blessed to win your love and affection.”
Hank let out the huge breath he’d been holding. His chest swelled with emotion. No one except Trudy had ever said anything remotely like this to him. And that was a mother’s job, to build up her child. “Thank you, Sage. I appreciate the vote of confidence more than you’ll ever know.” It meant the world to him to hear such praise from Sage’s lips. He was blown away by her generosity of spirit.
“I only spoke the truth,” she said in a soft voice that tugged at a place deep inside him.
As they locked gazes something fluttered and pulsed in the air around them. The chemistry sparking between them was incredibly powerful. Overwhelmed by what he was feeling, Hank struggled to find a way back to mundane topics.
“So, what do you know about owls?” he asked, shifting the focus away from their unspoken connection.
“Very little, matter of fact,” Sage answered. “I know they’re nocturnal animals and I watched a documentary once where they were shown as hunters.”
“Right on both accounts. They hunt at night and their vision is pretty spectacular, as well as their hearing.”
“I imagine that helps them gather food in the darkness,” Sage noted. “And predators probably have a hard time seeing them at night.”
“Are you sure you haven’t studied owls before?” Hank teased, earning himself a giggle from Sage. He loved seeing her lighthearted moments. She was even more beautiful when she showed her joyful side.
“I promise you I haven’t,” she quipped, making a funny face that did nothing to diminish her beauty.
Hank stopped in his tracks and pointed at a nearby tree. “And right there are the most magnificent owls you’ll probably ever see. Snowy owls are known for their coloring and the fact that unlike most owls, they are active during the day. So they are at rest right now and you won’t see them flying around or looking for prey.”
“Wow! I’ve never seen one up close. They’re stunningly beautiful.” Sage’s voice was filled with awe.
“They truly are,” Hank said, thinking they weren’t nearly as stunning as she was. He wasn’t at all certain Sage knew her appeal. From where he was standing, she seemed humble and unassuming. She barely wore any makeup and she didn’t seem self-absorbed in the slightest. In so many ways she was a breath of fresh air.
For a moment Hank completely forgot everything he knew about snowy-white owls. Sage had the kind of eyes a person could get lost in. She was gazing at the owls with such a look of wonder on her face it made his heart swell. It felt as if he was experiencing it for the first time, even though he’d been around these creatures his whole life. So much for staying in the friend zone with her. He wasn’t sure it was possible.
He cleared his throat, willing himself not to think about such things.
“The town’s founding families named it Owl Creek once they realized it was inhabited by one of the largest populations of owls in the United States,” he explained.
“That’s pretty fascinating. What I know about owls wouldn’t fill a postage stamp, but they’re beautiful creatures. The sounds they make are really interesting.”
“Their hoots can be heard for miles. When I was a kid I used to go out in our backyard to try to track down owls because it sounded like they were right outside the door. Boy was I disappointed when Trudy explained that they could be miles away.”
Trudy had been a wonderful mother to him. She’d worked really hard to compensate for the fact that his father wasn’t around. In many ways the strength she’d shown as a single mother gave him inspiration on a daily basis with regard to bringing up Addie.
“What type of owl breed is that? I’ve seen it before.” She pointed up at a tree where two gray-and-white owls were sitting on a branch, their onyx-colored eyes blinking fast and furiously.
A tall man with sunken-in cheeks and brilliant blue eyes turned toward them and explained, “Those are barn owls. They’re easy to remember because of their heart-shaped faces. Those owls are the most common ones not just here in Owl Creek but around the world.”
“Sage, this brilliant man is none other than Jennings North, Beulah’s beloved husband and partner in crime. Jennings, this is Sage Duncan. She’s visiting Alaska for a few weeks,” Hank said, feeling delighted by the sight of Beulah’s husband. As of late it was a rare occasion when Jennings ventured out and about. Perhaps he was finally taking steps to move past the tragic events of twenty-five years ago.
Jennings tipped his hat in Sage’s direction. “Nice to make your acquaintance, Sage. Are you the young lady that Beulah showed around the factory the other day?”
“Yes, I am,” Sage said. “It was incredibly generous of her to invite me. She made me feel right at home.”
“She’s taken a shine to you. That’s for sure. She was as pleased as punch you decided to spend the day with her.” There was a slight tremor in his jaw. “It took her mind off a lot of unpleasant things.”
Hank thought he saw tears pooling in Sage’s deep brown eyes, but upon second glance he thought he might have imagined it. “I’m happy I could do that for her,” she murmured.
“Me too,” he said. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to join up with that group of middle schoolers over there. I know
they have a hundred or more questions about these owls. It seems they’re going to be tested on it at school tomorrow.”
As Jennings walked away, Sage’s gaze trailed after him. He couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as if she’d wanted a little more time in Jennings’s company. It endeared her to him since he considered Jennings North one of the most compassionate and wise people he’d ever known. He always included him in his prayers in the hope he might find some measure of peace.
“He seems like a sweetheart, but his eyes are full of shadows,” Sage observed.
“Yeah, that about sums it up. He’s never moved past Lily’s abduction. He hasn’t been the same since that terrible night,” Hank explained. “I think he deals with a lot of guilt because of the success of the chocolate company. He wonders if it made his family a target.”
Sage gazed at him with mournful eyes. “It’s hard to deal with such an inexplicable loss. It’s bad enough when someone you love passes away, but to have someone taken away from you like that without warning is catastrophic.”
Hank seized the moment. It was the perfect time to offer Sage his support and compassion. “I should have said something before tonight, but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. I know why you’re here in Owl Creek, Sage.”
Chapter Ten
Suddenly it felt as if all the air had whooshed out of her lungs. Her worst fear had come true.
Hank knew she was Lily North! She broke out in a sweat despite the cold chill in the air. Panic began to rise up inside her. How in the world was she going to justify her actions? There was no way she could make him understand, especially after he’d just told her about Theresa’s grand deception. He probably would consider her to be a fraud. The very thought of it made her knees go weak.
Please, Lord. Help me make it clear to Hank why I’m here in Owl Creek.
“I—I can explain,” she began. “I came here seeking answers.”
Hank held up his hand. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation.” Hank shifted from one foot to the other. “Trudy told me about your mother’s passing. I’m so sorry. Losing a parent is incredibly painful. Of course you needed some time to process it. You wanted to get off the grid so you could grieve the loss.”
Her heart landed with a thud in her belly. Relief coursed through her. Hank didn’t know anything about her link to the Norths. Her guilty conscience had risen to the surface and she’d panicked. She sucked in a fortifying breath. Her secret hadn’t been exposed after all.
“Thank you,” Sage murmured. “It’s hard to believe she’s really gone. She’d been sick for a while, but death is so final. There are so many things I wish I could ask her. So many unanswered questions.”
“Were the two of you close?” Hank asked.
The question was a loaded one. Sage wasn’t sure she could ever aptly describe the relationship between them. On some days it had felt as if her mother was her best friend while at other times they would argue over the slightest thing. She now believed Jane had carried around a lot of guilt with her because of the kidnapping. Her culpability had trickled down and affected their rapport.
“Not particularly,” she answered. “We weren’t at a good place when she died. To be honest, more times than not we were at odds.” She shivered, then wrapped her arms around her middle. “We were very different.”
“Any siblings to lean on?”
“No, Hank. I’m an only child, which makes the grieving even more difficult. It’s just me, Dad and Aunt Cathy. He was such a devoted husband to my mother. This has really hit him hard.”
“I know a little about that. I was only a little kid when my dad passed, but I remember my mother’s grief felt like a tidal wave capable of pulling us under. Ultimately, his death ended up bonding us together. It was the two of us against the world until Piper and my stepdad Jack came along.”
“You and Trudy have a great relationship. I don’t think my Mom and I ever had that type of connection. The truth is, I never really understood her. She was very mercurial—her moods were all over the place. I suspect she had a mental illness, but it wasn’t something ever discussed in our household.” She sighed. “As a child it frightened me because I never knew what was coming around the bend. But in her own way she loved me fiercely. It was a complex situation, to say the least.”
“That must have been really hard for all of you,” he murmured softly. “Maybe she was afraid to be completely honest with you out of a fear of rejection. A lot of people hide their struggles due to the stigma.”
“I see that now, but it made things difficult between us, particularly when I was a teenager. There were a lot of things left unspoken between us when she passed.” She couldn’t voice it to Hank, but she desperately wanted to know why her mother had abducted her. How could she have lived out her days knowing she’d committed such a terrible act?
Ever since her mother’s death, Sage had been wondering why she hadn’t broken down and cried. Perhaps it had been the shock of her mother’s deathbed confession. She’d been straddling a line between grief and disbelief, but now, it felt as if all of her nerve endings were on fire. Letting out a strangled sob, Sage covered her face with her hands. At long last, all the emotions she’d been bottling up inside were coming to the surface.
“I’m so sorry, Sage. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” She felt Hank’s strong arms encircling her. He pulled her toward him and she wept against his chest. The scent of pine filled her nostrils and she inhaled deeply. Hank smelled like the great Alaskan outdoors. His embrace made her feel safe and secure. She wanted to hold on to him and never let go. Perhaps then all of the pain would dissipate.
“It’s not your fault. I’m way overdue. I’ve been holding in a lot of these emotions and trying to shoulder my way through the grief.” She wiped away her tears and sniffled. “It just hurts so much knowing we’ll never get the opportunity to truly clear the air.”
“But you loved each other. That’s the important thing.” He was patting her back and speaking to her in a comforting tone.
Hank was right. Even though he didn’t know about her mother’s heinous actions, his words still applied. No matter what her mother had done, she’d loved her. And she always would. Nothing could truly ever change that fact. She might never forgive her for altering the course of her life and stealing her from her rightful family, but she couldn’t erase the love she’d always nurtured in her heart for her.
Sage ducked her head down and nodded. “I loved her very much. And I miss her.” She breathed in the cold air through her nose, giving herself a little jolt. “Sometimes it shocks me to realize I can’t just pick up the phone and call her. It’s like there’s this hole in my heart where she used to be. And even though things were far from perfect between us, she was still my mother.”
“God only gives us one mother,” Hank said. His eyes radiated kindness.
Sage felt her lips tremble. His words were incredibly ironic. He had no idea that life had given her two mothers. One had been robbed of the opportunity to raise her while the other one had been a very flawed mother with an explosive secret in her past. She didn’t want to be anything like the woman who had raised her, yet here she stood incapable of being open and honest with Hank.
For so long now Sage had been straddling the line between truth and deception.
Looking into Hank’s eyes made her feel ashamed of all the secrets she’d been harboring. He was a good and decent man who made his living enforcing the law. From everything he’d told her about his past, there was no doubt in her mind that deceit and dishonesty were off-limits.
What if she opened her mouth and confessed who she really was? Would Hank take her under his protective arm and help her tell the North family about the circumstances leading to her trek to Owl Creek? Would he lend her his unwavering support? Or would he react with disgust and dismay? Perhaps he would think she was a horrible person for not coming cle
an the moment she’d gotten off the ferry.
I can’t abide lies or liars. A little while ago he’d made things quite plain with his statement. It gave her chills to recall the intensity in his eyes when he had uttered those words.
In her heart Sage wanted to believe everything would be all right if she spilled the truth. But the situation was so complex. And she had landed smack-dab in the middle of it, steeped in her mother’s deception.
Yet again it was abundantly clear that she needed to keep quiet about her ties to the North family and the town itself. She didn’t want to run the risk of losing Hank’s goodwill. It was probably selfish of her, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment by making such an explosive admission. Just for tonight she wanted to push it to the back of her mind and simply enjoy all that Owl Creek and Hank Crawford had to offer.
* * *
Hank reached out and swept a few snowflakes off Sage’s rosy cheeks. He didn’t see how it was possible, but she looked even more radiant than usual. When she’d started to cry, he had pulled her off to a side trail where onlookers wouldn’t be able to witness her raw emotion. In a town like Owl Creek gossip spread like lightning and he didn’t want Sage to be the topic of flapping gums.
Little beads of moisture dotted her sooty lashes, leftover remnants from her tears.
“Alaska suits you, Sage Duncan.” He let out a sigh. “You might just be the prettiest woman Owl Creek has ever seen.”
She ducked her head down, the hint of a smile playing around the sides of her mouth.
“That’s mighty fine praise, Hank. I’m not sure if I deserve it, especially with a tearstained face.”
“I’m simply speaking the truth. Tears can’t diminish true beauty.”
Sage was beautiful inside and out. Her revelations this evening made him see her with a more generous heart. What he’d viewed previously as her being cagey could have been signs of deep mourning for her mother. He felt ashamed of himself for being so wary of her. His tumultuous history with Theresa had really impacted his ability to trust women. Mama was right. He was walking around with the shadows of the past following him.
Her Secret Alaskan Family (Home To Owl Creek Book 1) Page 12