by A. S. King
Teachers, professors, librarians, and booksellers: You are my heroes. I want you to take one minute now and smile about the important work you do. You are loved. I thank you for reading my books, for sharing them with your friends and colleagues, and for sharing them with your students and patrons.
Student readers, thank you for reading. Thank you for writing to me. Thank you for being you. You are not ovals. You are not letters. You are human beings, and every time someone rolls their eyes at you because they think your opinion doesn’t count, picture me giving them the finger.
About the Author
A.S. King is the highly acclaimed author of Glory O’Brien’s History of the Future, which was a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice, received six starred reviews, and appeared on ten best-of-the-year lists; Reality Boy, which received five starred reviews, was featured on seven end-of-year “best” lists, and was a YALSA Best Fiction for Young Adults book; Ask the Passengers, which was a Los Angeles Times Book Prize winner, received six starred reviews, appeared on ten end-of-year “best” lists, and was a Lambda Literary Award finalist; and Everybody Sees the Ants, which received six starred reviews, was an Andre Norton Award finalist, and was a YALSA Top Ten Best Fiction for Young Adults book. She is also the author of the Edgar Award–nominated, Michael L. Printz Honor Book Please Ignore Vera Dietz and The Dust of 100 Dogs, an ALA Best Book for Young Adults. When asked about her writing, King says, “Some people don’t know if my characters are crazy or if they are experiencing something magical. I think that’s an accurate description of how I feel every day.” She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and children, and she invites you to visit her website at as-king.com.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Welcome
Dedication
Epigraph
Prologue—The place where we explain the helicopter and how not to eat the green sauce at Las Hermanas and we don’t mention anything about love
Stanzi Has a Family History
Stanzi—Thursday—Another Frog Dissection
Stanzi—Thursday—Formaldehyde
Stanzi—Thursday—Tetra-gam-EE-tic Ky-MEER-a
Stanzi—Thursday Night—Livers
Stanzi—Friday—Juglone
Stanzi—Monday—A Man with a French Accent
China Knowles—Tuesday Morning—I’m Fine
Stanzi—Tuesday at China’s House
Stanzi—Wednesday—We’re Very Lucky
Stanzi—Thursday—That Soon
China Knowles—Thursday—It’s True
Lansdale Cruise—Friday—It’s a Party
Stanzi—Saturday—Waltzing
Stanzi—Saturday Night—Amadeus
Stanzi—Sunday—Red Lion
Stanzi—Sunday—The Answers
China Knowles—Monday—I Love You
Stanzi—Monday—I Want to Show You Something
China Knowles—Monday—Sad Esophagus
Stanzi—Monday—Free Shrinks
Stanzi—Monday—Bears
Stanzi—Monday Night—Box Bet Bug Bin
Patricia—Monday—Standstill
Stanzi—Tuesday Morning—The Trained Escapist
Patricia—Tuesday Morning—Thwap-thwap-thwap
China Knowles—Tuesday Morning—Gallbladder
Stanzi—Tuesday Morning—Splitting in Two
Patricia—Tuesday Morning—We Are Rotting
Stanzi—Wednesday—Coffins
The Interviews—Wednesday
Patricia—Wednesday—Chewing Gum
Stanzi—Thursday Morning—Doomed
China Knowles—Thursday—Runaways Always Come Back
Stanzi—Thursday—Kenneth
Stanzi—Thursday—Stanzi Takes a Test
Stanzi—Thursday—Hikers Lost
The Interviews II—Thursday
China Knowles—Thursday Night—Fire Pit
Stanzi—Thursday Night—Hysterical Girl
Lansdale Cruise—Thursday Night—The Next Mrs.
China Knowles—Thursday Night—Fuenteovejuna
Stanzi—Thursday Night—Genius Debriefing
China Knowles—Early Friday Morning—New
Stanzi—Early Friday Morning—Fuel
The Interviews III—Friday
China Knowles—Friday—Tidal Wave
Lansdale Cruise—Friday Afternoon—Oh, Come On
Stanzi—Friday—Dumb Marvin
China Knowles—Friday Afternoon—Broadway
Patricia—Friday Morning—Act Normal
Stanzi—Friday Afternoon—The Dinner Bell
Stanzi—Friday Afternoon—430
China Knowles—Friday Evening—Tommy
Stanzi—Friday Evening—Twenty Questions
Stanzi—Saturday Morning—Family Vacations
Lansdale Cruise—Saturday Morning—No Kidding
China Knowles—Saturday Afternoon—The Monkey
Stanzi—Saturday Afternoon—Gustav’s Secret
Stanzi—Saturday Afternoon—Her Name
The Interviews IV—Saturday
China Knowles—Early Saturday Evening—My Type
Stanzi—Early Saturday Evening—Talk to the Screen
China Knowles—Early Saturday Evening—Hospital
Stanzi—Saturday Night—Dr. M*A*S*H
China Knowles—Saturday Night—House of Letters
Stanzi—Sunday Morning—Mental Health Profile
China Knowles—Sunday Morning—Little Shit
China Knowles—Sunday Afternoon—The Gland
Stanzi—Monday Two Weeks Later—Project Evidence
Stanzi—Monday Afternoon—The Catalog
China Knowles—Monday Night—They All Do
Stanzi—Tuesday Morning—I Crawl Through It
Stanzi—Monday Afternoon—Frogs in Jars
Stanzi Has a Paper Clip
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 by A.S. King
Illustrations copyright © 2015 by Wendy Xu
Cover design by Liz Casal and Maggie Edkins
Cover © 2015 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Little, Brown and Company
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The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.
First ebook edition: September 2015
ISBN 978-0-316-33407-5
E3