“Haha,” he says flatly. “Says the guy living with his mom.”
“I’m not living with her. I’m helping out. I’ll be here for a month, tops.”
“Yeah, that’s actually why I’m calling. Your birthday’s in a couple weeks, man.”
“It’ll be a low key one this year.”
“The hell it will.” Alexei runs a hand through his hair, smoothing a few strands into place. “You only turn thirty once.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to get away from here, bro. Not even for one night. My mom and my aunt need my help too much.”
“Yeah, I figured. So we’ll come up there.”
I sit up abruptly in Aunt Jo’s patio chair. “What? Who?”
“It’ll at least be me, Graysen, Kit, Jonah, Anton and Mia.”
“You guys will be bored out of your minds here, though. It’s a really small town.”
“Nah, it’s all good. Graysen and Mia said they’ll hang out with your mom and your aunt so we can go out for your birthday.”
I’m silent because I can’t believe they’d all come up to Greentree Falls, Wisconsin just because it’s my birthday. And for Graysen and Mia to offer to help with my mom and aunt is above and beyond.
“Are you sure?” I ask Alexei. “There are just a few hole-in-the-wall bars here.”
“Perfect.”
“And my mom’s gonna want to meet you guys. She’ll probably try to cook you dinner even though she’s on crutches.”
“Hell yeah, we’re meeting Mama Z. Let’s grill out or something, though. She doesn’t need to be cooking.”
“That’s…great of you. All of it, I mean.”
“We’re not missing your birthday.” He grins. “I never would’ve thought a French-Canadian gentleman slash fashion model would be one of my wingers, but here we are.”
I laugh and say, “I’m not sure I qualify as a gentleman anymore given all the time I’ve spent with you. And that modeling you’re heckling me about is for high-paying endorsement deals, thank you very much.”
“So seriously, you doing okay up there? You’ve at least got internet, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve got internet. And I’m doing fine.”
Alexei narrows his eyes. “You seem off.”
I dismiss his comment with a laugh and say, “You’ve just been spending too much time with your therapist wife.”
“Nah. What’s going on, Easy? Is it Allie?”
I sit back in my seat, stunned that first of all, he remembers her name since I only talked about her once, many months ago when I’d had way too much to drink. I also can’t believe he can tell something’s bothering me so easily and know it’s her.
“I saw her,” I admit, exhaling hard.
“And how’d it go?”
“We didn’t even talk. One of her nieces plays on the team I’m coaching, and she saw me there and looked like she was about to be sick.”
Alexei shrugs. “You do have that effect on women, though.”
I shake my head. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you, asshole.”
“Lighten up.” He gets up from his couch and I see the Chicago skyline behind him through a window in his apartment. “I think you should try to talk to her.”
“And say what? We’ve been over for ten years.”
He looks skeptical. “Have you, though? Because you’re definitely not over it.”
“I told you, Alexei. She dumped me. End of story.”
“That’s not the end of the story. She was between a rock and a hard place. Her nieces or nephews, whichever it was. They had no one else to raise them. Isn’t that what you told me?”
“Yeah, but I probably didn’t tell you I offered to drop out of school and move back here to help her raise them. Or have them come move in with me.”
Alexei scoffs. “What, in your college dorm room? You dumbass. What kind of woman is gonna let you drop a full-ride to Penn State for her?”
My chest tightens. In that one question lies the answer to everything between me and Allie. She wouldn’t let me quit school to come home and be with her back then because while she loved me and wanted me, she didn’t need me. It was a painful realization for me as a college freshman.
Allie would find a way to raise those kids, and she didn’t need me to do it. I knew it back then, and I can tell just from the quick look I got at her a couple days ago that I was right.
She’s more beautiful than ever. The real kind of beautiful. The yoga pants and ponytail kind. I was mesmerized by her. And then when I saw her concerned about her niece’s injury, I couldn’t help but remember how she would take care of me after games and worry about my injuries back when we were together.
My feelings haven’t faded. If anything, I want Allie even more now than I did then because I know the ache of living without her all too well.
“What do you want me to say, man?” I ask Alexei. “I saw her. It hurt. That’s all there is to it. She’s moved on and none of it matters after all these years.”
“Is she married?”
“No.”
I told my mom after Allie and I broke up that the only thing I wanted to know was if she got engaged or married, but nothing else.
“So go talk to her.”
I stand up and towards the grass in Aunt Jo’s backyard, which is getting long. I need to mow it this afternoon.
“I can’t just show up at her house and ask to talk to her,” I say, agitated. “Not to mention that I don’t really want to.”
“Yeah, you do.” Alexei, tilting his head back and forth like a kid singing that kissing in a tree song. “Where does she work?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not showing up there, either.” I scowl at him through my phone screen. “Look, I have to go.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I’m not talking to you about this anymore.”
Alexei’s brows shoot up in amusement. “The fuck is going on with you, bro? You never get this worked up about anything.”
“I’ve gotta go.”
“What, is it time to knit with your mom?”
“You’re a dick.”
He laughs. “Go talk to her. Hey, invite her to come out with us for your birthday if you want.”
“You are never meeting her.”
“I bet she’d love me. Graysen could mediate a talk between you guys and you could work things out.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
Alexei waves and gives me a shit-eating grin. I flip him off and end the call.
Fucker. I regret ever telling him about Allie.
With a heavy sigh, I walk back in through the sliding glass door to Aunt Jo’s kitchen.
“Go on, Whoopi!” my mom says to the TV screen.
“She knows.” Aunt Jo nods vigorously and points at the TV screen. “Whoopi’s been around that block before, she knows!”
I love my mom and aunt dearly, but they’re starting to drive me crazy. And I miss my routine at home. Normally I’d already have a workout and a shower in by now.
“Hey, I’m gonna head out for a run,” I tell them. “You guys need anything before I go?”
Aunt Jo is so wrapped up in Whoopi she doesn’t even respond, and my mom just gives me a dismissive wave.
I walk outside and stretch in the front yard before starting out at a light jog. After a mile, I’m approaching downtown Greentree Falls, which has hardly changed, but looks different now. I guess it’s me that’s changed.
After spending my childhood living in several different countries with my parents for my dad’s work, Greentree Falls was a culture shock for me. I’d lived in Quebec, Paris, Nairobi and Stockholm by then—all very different cities, but the same in that they were much larger than Greentree Falls, Wisconsin.
I stood out as a black kid in Greentree Falls. I wasn’t the only one, but there weren’t many of us. It was my mom’s roots here and my athleticism that helped me fit in quickly.
In high school, we complained that there was n
othing to do for fun on the weekends. We’d run footraces through cornfields in the dark, swim in the lake or ride four-wheelers on Cade’s family farm. Cade’s dad invited me on many fishing and hunting trips with him and Cade, patiently showing a city kid with no experience how to bait a hook and safely use a shotgun.
I couldn’t wait to get out of this little hick town back then. I hoped to make it to the NHL, where I’d be guaranteed a home base in a big city, and I’d have the money to travel for fun in the offseason.
Allie and I would lie on a blanket in my mom’s backyard on summer nights, looking at the stars and dreaming about the future we had ahead of us.
College. Since I was a year ahead of her in school, I’d do my first year at Penn State while we maintained a long-distance relationship. Then she’d join me there, and we’d borrow money for her tuition if needed, because my NHL prospects were strong.
We’d decided we would get engaged my senior year of college, but I was so in love I couldn’t stick to that plan. I already had a silver engagement ring with a little speck of a diamond hidden in a drawer in my dorm room. I was going to propose to her as soon as she graduated from high school.
But two months before then, everything changed. She lost her parents and found herself the sole guardian of her six-year-old nephew and three-year-old twin nieces.
Her only family then was her sister Jenna, who left town immediately after the funeral services. The Douglases were good people who had a lot of friends in Greentree Falls. The town rallied around Allie and the kids, friends taking turns with the kids every day so Allie could finish her last two months of high school and graduate. My mom took them a day every week, and she’d bring dinner over for Allie and the kids another night.
It was an extremely tough time for Allie, understandably. And I was mostly stuck at college, finishing the hockey season and attending classes. I felt helpless. When I went home for spring break that year, I stayed at Allie’s parents’ house, helping her take care of the kids. Her spring break was a different week, so I took care of the kids mostly by myself that week, with help from my mom.
I’d never worked harder in my life. It gave me a newfound respect for Allie, and I loved her more than ever.
That summer, I worked at a lumberyard in Greentree Falls, helping Allie with the kids as much as I could. When it was time for me to go back to school that fall, I asked her to come with me.
She wouldn’t. Her reasons felt stupid to me back then, as a deeply in love nineteen-year-old. She said she couldn’t afford an apartment for her and the kids, and that she needed the support system for the kids she had in Greentree Falls. Max’s dad, Eli, did spend time with him and she said he’d be able to get custody of Max if she tried to take him away.
I was angry. If we loved each other, that was all we needed, I’d tell her. But now, I look back at the whole thing the same way I’m looking at downtown Greentree Falls right now.
I’ve gained enough perspective to see that Greentree Falls isn’t a hick town with nothing to offer. This place sheltered me at a time when I needed it, and it sheltered Allie, too. It doesn’t have art museums, hip cafes or upscale shops, but Greentree Falls does have something you can’t put a price on—community.
This little town would never change, I’d tell Allie as we lay beneath the stars on those summer nights. Other places would grow and evolve and Greentree Falls would always be a small place full of the same faces and last names.
It was a big downside to a teenage boy, but to a nearly thirty-year-old man, it looks like a good place to raise a family. Especially if you’re only eighteen years old and that family was dropped into your lap all of a sudden.
I told myself Allie just wanted to be rid of me back then. She told me her plans for a future with me died that day with her parents, and I got pissed off and indignant about it. I acted like an immature, selfish asshole.
It’s clear from our encounter at the rink the other night that she wants nothing to do with me, and I can’t say I blame her. But I hope she can put up with me for just a few minutes, because I owe her something that’s long overdue—an apology.
Six
Allie
Our new checker, Chip, scrunches his face at me in confusion.
“But…I was told to be friendly and energetic. That’s what I’m doing.”
“You are, and I appreciate that. But you can’t say, ‘Have a foxy day,’ and wink at female customers. Or at any customer, really. You just say, ‘Thanks for shopping at Fox Foods.’”
“But that’s boring. People want to hear something different from each checker. We all need to have our own…personas, you know?”
“No. If you want to shadow a senior checker for one more shift so you can see how we do it, I’ll set that up.”
He rolls his eyes at me. If he was one of my kids, I’d threaten to take away his phone right now.
“The old ladies who shop here love getting winked at by a young guy,” he says. “And a pretty good looking one, at that.”
The bagger who was snooping on our conversation, Rita, slips away, her eyes bulging. She knows my patience has run out, and she’ll be next in line for a verbal wrist slap if she doesn’t get to work.
“Chip, you can either do the job the way I’m telling you to, or you can find a place to work where personas are more in demand. I’ve been clear, and if this happens again we’ll be discussing it over a written warning.”
“Fine,” he says flatly. “Whatever.”
Good help is so hard to find, especially when school is in session. Some of my best employees are high school kids. But summer break is about to start, so employees like Chip will soon find their hours getting cut to make room for people who follow the rules.
“Allie, do you have a second?”
I turn to see June Mathieson, who was my kindergarten teacher but is now retired, looking up at me. She’s maybe five feet tall, and she’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known.
“Of course, Mrs. Mathieson.”
She steers her shopping cart to the side, concern etched into the wrinkles on her face.
“How are you and the kids doing? You must have your hands full with three teenagers.”
“Oh, we’re good.” I smile reassuringly.
She smiles in return. “I saw your boy the other day when I was buying flowers in that parking lot by the drugstore. Do you know he stopped just to help me load up my flowers and he even offered to stop by my home to unload them for me?”
“Well, good. Max is a good kid, and he knows you’re my favorite teacher ever.”
She reaches out to pat my arm. “You’re doing a great job, Allie. I’m proud of you.”
Tears spring to my eyes. “Thank you. That really means a lot to me.”
Mrs. Mathieson has told me many times since my parents died that she’s proud of me, but it never gets old. Sometimes all you need is a little reassurance that you’re doing a good job. I feel like my mom is somehow speaking to me through her.
“If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.” She gives me a warm look and reaches for her shopping cart. “Bye, dear.”
“Can I help you out with that cart?”
“I’ve got it, but thank you.”
“Well, I’ll just walk out with you then. I’d love to hear more about those flowers you planted.”
She fills me in on her yard as we walk out to her car, where I help her load her groceries into her trunk. I wave to her as she backs out of her parking space and I’m walking back into the store when I look up and come face to face with Erik.
Like me, he’s walking into the store. And also like me, he has no idea what to say right now.
“Hey,” he manages.
“Hi.”
He looks at the Fox Foods logo on my shirt and says, “I didn’t know you work here.”
“Yeah, I’ve been here for six years now.”
I look away, my heart hammering. Just like at the rink, I want to run. He looks
so good, his dark skin shimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. He’s wearing black shorts, a gray Chicago Blaze T-shirt and a dark baseball cap turned around backward.
He always wore backward baseball caps in high school, and I always found it so sexy. But he’s not the sweet, slightly shy boy I knew back then. Now he’s a pro athlete, his body unlike any I’ve seen in person.
He clears his throat. “Allie, I…” He exhales hard and starts again. “I didn’t know you worked here and I never would’ve ambushed you if I’d known. I just ran here to pick up a few things for my aunt.”
My face heats with embarrassment as he looks at me. “No, it’s fine…I mean, this is the only grocery store in Greentree Falls, and you came here for groceries.”
“Yeah, so…how are you?”
I answer automatically. “Good. How are you?”
He shrugs. “Not bad.”
As if God knew I needed an intervention, my work radio that I wear on my hip crackles and a checker asks me to come to her register.
“Sorry, I have to…”
“Sure.” He steps aside so I can walk through the sliding doors into the store and he follows several feet behind me.
He picks up a handheld basket to put his groceries in, and I turn toward the checkout lanes, waving awkwardly.
He grins and says, “Hey Allie?”
I stop walking and turn to look at him when he says, “You look great.”
I’m not sure if I say thanks or not, because I’m too busy trying to remain upright. His compliment makes me lightheaded.
I’ll never forget the first time he spoke to me. He came up to me after school one day, all smiles and quiet confidence as he said, “Hey, you’re Allie, right? I’m Erik.”
I was immediately interested in him. Not just because of his looks—the hot new guy in Greentree Falls had drawn the attention of about every girl in the high school when he first arrived at the start of his freshman year —but because of his sincerity. He was confident without a trace of cockiness, and he never said an unkind word about anyone. Not to mention that he made me feel like an absolute queen. When we were together, Erik’s eye never wandered to other girls. He told me often that no other girl could ever compare to me in his eyes.
Easy: A Chicago Blaze Hockey Romance Page 4