“Maybe absence makes the dick grow fonder,” I quip.
He laughs and kisses my temple. “Damn, girl. I missed that mouth.”
After this snuggle break, I plan to remind him my mouth is good for more than just one-liners. Tonight may be the only time we get to be together again, and I’m not going to waste a minute of it.
Thirteen
Easy
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” I high five Richie, a rec league player who just scored his first goal. I’ve been working with him on his stick-handling skills and seeing that, I feel like a proud coach.
I can see his wide grin through the face mask protecting his head, and hear his parents cheering in the stands. This is only an instructional session, so the games are only scrimmages where players on our team play against each other, but I’m having the time of my life coaching.
Usually, I’m the one playing against or watching some of the best hockey players in the world, one hundred percent at the top of their games. But coaching these kids at the rec center takes me back to a time when hockey was more than about performing or winning championships. It was simply fun. Watching the kids enjoy themselves as they play and learn new skills reminds me how much I love the game myself.
My eyes are on the kids, but my mind lingers on last night, my night with Allie. Even though I barely slept, I’m not tired. I’d spend tonight the exact same way if I could. I thanked Anton and Mia profusely this morning before they went to crash for a couple hours before leaving town. They gave me more of a gift for my birthday than they realize.
Being with Allie again only highlighted how much I’ve been missing in my life. I went through the motions of sex with other women—enjoyed it, even—but none of them were like her. Allie’s the only woman I’ve ever loved through and through, despite our horrendous breakup all those years ago.
I don’t think we ever fell out of love. We’ve just spent the last ten years apart, simply surviving without one another. Knowing Allie feels the same way I do, I’m not sure how I’ll be able to leave here without her in a couple weeks.
If she’d come back to Chicago with me, I could give Allie and the kids everything. Amazing schools, a nice home, another youth hockey program for Hazel—all I’ve thought about are the possibilities since Allie and I said our goodbyes early this morning.
I can imagine the four of them sitting in the family VIP box at my games, or even in the stands if they wanted to experience that energy.
Before coming back to Greentree Falls, I would’ve said I wasn’t ready for a family yet. I would’ve had reasons that made sense to back it up, too—I travel a lot and focus all my energy on hockey. But if it’s Allie, Max, Hazel and Vi, that would change everything.
I want to take care of them. All of them. I want Allie to be able to quit her job at Fox Foods and pursue a career she loves. I want the kids to know what a family feels like. I may not know them well, but they’re a part of Allie—the biggest part—and I want to be there for them.
“Yo, E,” Cade calls out to me.
I look over at him and he laughs before skating over to the wall I’m leaning against.
“Did you not see that puck that just flew past your head?” he asks.
I look from side to side, shaking my head.
“Distracted thinking about last night?” he prods.
“Nah. It was fun and all, but you didn’t miss much. Your daughter’s dance recital was more fun than drinking with me would’ve been.”
Cade laughs again. “You’re shit at playing coy.”
“Huh?”
“Allie. I’m talking about the part of the night where you left The Dugout with Allie. Did you guys walk around the block holding hands? Is that why you look so tired?”
My smile gives me away. “Who told you?”
“This is Greentree Falls, man. Word travels fast.”
“Huh.” I call out to the players, “Okay, let’s round up the pucks, guys!”
“Hey.” Cade pokes me in the ribs with his index finger. “Are you and Allie getting back together or something?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t really talk much.”
Cade grins. “Good for her.”
I furrow my brow. “Why just her?”
“You probably have nights like that all the time. Allie doesn’t.”
“I never spend the entire night with women. Other than her, I mean.”
“Really?”
“Nope. I’ve seen teammates be robbed by puck bunnies, especially during away games at the hotels. One guy even got blackmailed; the chick went through his home office after he went to sleep.”
“Wow.”
“This life isn’t usually as glamorous as it sounds. Really, I’d say you’re the lucky one,” I tell him, grabbing my clipboard and skating over to the kids.
“Nice work today, guys,” Cade says, skating up behind me. “I’m seeing a lot more shots go in the net now that we’ve got Coach Zimmerman working with us.”
“Nah, it’s all you guys.” I look at each of the eager young faces circled around us. “Next time we’re gonna play a full game, okay?”
The kids cheer and dance on their skates, two of them sliding onto the ice from their excitement. I laugh at their enthusiasm.
“Hey, did you guys see that sign-up sheet for park cleanup day in the locker room?” I ask the group. “I’m volunteering and I hope to see a bunch of you there. And if you sign up, go stop by the concession stand and tell Marta. I bought slushies for everyone who signs up.”
There’s more cheering, and the kids take off for the locker room.
“Hey, whoa, whoa!” Cade calls out. “Everyone get back here!”
I hear a few groans as the players turn around and skate back to where me and Cade are standing. Cade looks around at the kids and asks, “What do we say to Coach Zimmerman, guys?”
“Thank you!” they call out, nearly in unison.
They skate away again, and Cade and I start putting the pucks into buckets.
“That was nice of you,” he says.
“I’m like that uncle who rolls into town and gets the kids all hyped up on sugar and then leaves.”
Cade pauses and looks over at me. “Are you ready to be more than just a quasi-uncle?”
“What do you mean?”
“Allie.”
“The problem with me and Allie has never been what I’m ready for,” I remind him. “She dumped me, remember?”
“Yeah, but what about now? Did you tell her last night was a one-time thing?”
“You think I’d hurt her?” I scrunch my face in irritation. “I’m the one hoping it wasn’t a one-time thing.”
“Hey, man. I don’t mean any offense. You know that. I just mean she’s still got the kids to consider, though.”
“I know that.”
He nods. “I don’t mean to jump to conclusions, I just don’t want to see her hurt again. She’s a good person.”
“Hurt again? I didn’t hurt Allie the first time, Cade. She broke it off with me. I begged her not to, but she told me she needed to put her family first, and that it didn’t include me.”
“You think that didn’t hurt her though? She loved you. She thought you guys would be together forever. And then out of nowhere, she loses her parents, becomes a single mom and loses you, too.”
“I wanted to be here with her. I told her so many times I’d quit school and move back.”
Cade shakes his head. “Man, how many Greentree Falls kids make it to the NHL? You think Allie’s gonna let you give that up and come back here and, what? Run the rec center like me? Work at Fox Foods?”
“There’s nothing wrong with either of those things. I would’ve been happy just being with her. That’s what I wanted, but she said she wouldn’t have me.”
“Yeah, because she didn’t want to make a nineteen-year-old NHL prospect into a dad of three kids who weren’t even his and throw away your dream. Not to mention the chance you could end
up resenting her.”
“We had dreams, Cade. Me and her. You think the NHL is my great love? It never was. It’s her. It’s always been her.”
“So what are you gonna do?”
I shrug. “I haven’t thought that far ahead. I didn’t know until last night whether she still had feelings for me.”
“Don’t ask her to leave those kids, Erik. Don’t ever do that.”
I recoil. “You think I’d do that?”
“I think you guys are two good people stuck in a complicated situation. Max’s dad is here. And isn’t he going to be a senior next year?”
“I’m not sure.”
Cade looks away, his jaw set angrily. “You need to be sure; you need to know those kids. You need to think instead of just feel. Lots of people’s futures are on the line here.”
“It seems like you want to say something and you’re not. So what is it? It’s me, man—just say it.”
“Are you willing to quit hockey for her? Move back to Greentree Falls?”
“I don’t know. She hasn’t asked me to, but if she did…I might.” I take off my baseball cap and then put it back on again. “There’s a lot to consider. I have a contract.”
“Just don’t lead her on.”
I continue picking up the pucks, getting more pissed at Cade by the second.
“That’s what you think of me? You think I’m here to take advantage of her and then just ditch her?”
“Look, you’re like a brother to me. I’d do anything for you. I know you’re a good person. I’m just saying, you guys couldn’t work it out before and you both ended up hurt. I was here, and I saw Allie struggling to hold everything together alone. And don’t forget that you didn’t step foot back here in Greentree Falls for ten years man. She’s not the only one who missed you. Don’t do that to yourselves again. That’s all I’m saying. If things aren’t different this time, don’t do it to yourselves again.”
I nod, my anger subsiding. Cade’s right. I drank too much last night and took a leap I wouldn’t have taken sober.
And even though it was one of the best nights of my life, what now? The kids are rooted in Greentree Falls, and so is Allie. She didn’t want to come to Chicago before, so why would she want to now?
“I still love her,” I tell Cade, wishing I had all the answers.
He places a hand on my shoulder. “I know you do. You always have. But she’s always loved you, too. It was love that made her set you free back then.”
Parents are now arriving to pick up their kids, and I look over and see Allie by the stands. Our eyes lock and I feel a magnetic pull to go to her. Hazel comes out of the locker room, though, and Allie puts an arm around her and the two of them walk out of the rink together.
“Want to grill out again tonight?” Cade asks me. “I think we did alright the first time.”
I smile, but there’s no happiness behind it. “Another night. I think I need to just hang out with Mom and Aunt Jo and hit the sack early tonight.”
He nods with understanding. I know Cade just wanted to get my mind off things with Allie for a little while, but nothing in the world could do that.
After last night, I’m more in love with Allie than ever. I’m also at a loss to figure out how things could work between us, though.
Fourteen
Allie
Steam rises up from the sink as I drain spaghetti noodles from a pot of boiling water, giving me a mini facial as I shake the last of the water from the strainer.
Someone comes in the house through the back door and I call out, “Hey.”
“Hey,” Max says.
I hear his heavy backpack dropping to the ground before he walks into the kitchen.
“How’s your day going?” I ask him.
“Good. I got a new PR on the mile at practice today.”
“That’s great.”
He takes a container of leftover pot roast out of the fridge and opens it.
“Dinner’s almost done,” I tell him. “Just another ten minutes for the garlic bread.”
Max pulls off a hunk of meat and shoves it into his mouth.
“You can’t wait ten minutes?” I ask.
“I’m starving.”
Sighing, I ask, “So what else is going on with you? I hardly ever see you these days.”
“I put in an application to work for the park district this summer.”
“That’s good.” I pour meat sauce over the bowl of spaghetti and mix it. “I’ll put in a good word with Cade next time I see him; the rec center is part of the park district and he has connections.”
“Cool.” Max replaces the lid on the container of pot roast and puts it back in the fridge, and then he turns to give me a serious look. “And just so you know, there’s no way I’m going with Mom. I don’t care what Vi does.”
“Going where? I thought they were at the hair salon today.”
“Vi told me this morning that Mom wants us to come live with her, and she’s going.”
I look up from the pot of spaghetti, my heart racing with anger. “What?”
“You didn’t know?”
“She can’t just take you guys, I have full custody.”
“I know. I told Vi that, but she’s convinced she’s moving to California with her.”
My head spins at the thought. I’ve been letting Vi spend most of her time with Jenna while she’s here, and apparently Jenna has used that time to put this idea in her head. And even though Vi’s not going, I’m pissed at Jenna for even suggesting it. Now I have to be the bad guy and spoil the fun Jenna promised her.
I set the table, my hands shaking as I arrange forks and napkins, eager for a distraction. So much for my good mood. I can’t believe Jenna has the nerve to come stay in my home and go behind my back this way.
The back door opens again, and Vi comes breezing in, all smiles, with Jenna behind her.
“What do you think?” Vi asks me, turning around to show me her new haircut and lighter blond color.
“Very pretty.”
“Mom told the stylist to go lighter than she was going to, and I love it!”
Vi beams at my sister, and I feel a surge of jealousy.
“Dinner smells good,” Jenna says, setting her bag down.
Max moves the spaghetti to the table and I take the bread out of the oven, cutting it with a little more force than needed.
“Hey, Aunt Allie,” Vi says, “Hazel told me her hockey coach used to be your boyfriend, is that true?”
“Yes.”
“And now he’s in the NHL? That’s so cool!”
“No way,” Max says, sounding impressed. “That Erik guy?”
“Erik Zimmerman,” Jenna says.
“And now he’s Hazel’s hockey coach?” Max asks.
“He’s only helping out with the youth league while he’s in town for about a month,” I say as I set a platter of garlic bread on the table.
“Hazel says he’s cute,” Vi says. “I want to meet him.”
I take a deep breath, trying to keep my cool. I know I should wait to talk to Jenna about this in private later, but it’s eating me up inside. If she’s been making plans with Vi behind my back, she’s not spending another night in my home.
“So what’s this I hear about the kids moving in with you?” I ask Jenna, meeting her gaze across the table.
“I was going to talk to you about it.” She smiles at Vi and then looks back at me. “I’m in a really good place and I have room for them now.”
I set my fork down and say, “Max, Vi, please finish your dinner in your rooms.”
Max scoots his chair back, grabs his plate and goes. Vi doesn’t move.
“Aunt Allie, don’t get mad.”
“Your mother and I need to talk. Please finish dinner in your room.”
“No.”
I arch my brows at her. “I’m not asking, Vi.”
“I’m not letting you ruin this for me.”
I close my eyes and press my fingers to my
temples on both sides of my head. “Look, there are things you don’t know. Things you don’t need to know. This is between me and Jenna.”
“But it concerns me, too. She’s my mom and I want to be with her.”
“Here are your choices,” I tell her. “You can go finish dinner in your room, with the door closed, or I’m taking your phone away.”
Vi looks at Jenna.
“Don’t look at her. I’m the one paying the phone bill,” I say.
“This is bullshit.”
I keep my gaze locked with hers, hoping she’ll see that I’m dead serious.
“Vi, let me take care of this,” Jenna says. “It’ll be okay.”
Vi tosses her napkin on her plate and says, “I’m not hungry.” She gets up and leaves the kitchen, and I listen for her door to close.
“What are you doing?” I ask Jenna.
“Like I said, I’m in a good place now, and I want my kids.”
“In a good place? Meaning what, boyfriends?”
She frowns at my offhanded comment, but I can’t reign in my anger right now. “The kids are older now. We can have fun together. And they’re my kids, Allie.”
“Really? So where have you been the past seventeen years, then?”
“I wasn’t ready to be a mom.”
“And what, I was? You’ve always put yourself first, while I put them first.”
“What do you want me to say? I’m their mother, and I want them with me. They’ll love California.”
I clench my hands beneath the table. “California. Where you have what, Jenna? Another boyfriend with a yacht who’s sailing you around the world? Or is it the one who’s a movie star agent who takes you to all the best parties in LA?”
She narrows her eyes. “I have my own place and I’m working. I can take care of them.”
“You’ve never lifted a finger to take care of them.”
“I took Vi to get her hair and nails done. I would’ve taken Hazel if she wasn’t being kept from me.”
“That doesn’t even scratch the surface. I can’t believe you’d put these ideas into Vi’s head, about some dream life in California. You aren’t even a good part-time parent, much less a full-time one.”
Easy: A Chicago Blaze Hockey Romance Page 9