by Mandy Magro
‘I’d love to. What time are you and your mum heading off?’ Emma had casually mentioned it over dinner but he’d noticed she hadn’t invited him. He gathered that must have been because Michael would be there. He could totally understand Emma wanting to keep them as far apart as possible, and he hadn’t taken it to heart.
‘As soon as Mum gets back from slashing the paddock.’ She looked at her watch. ‘Which is hopefully within the next half hour or we’re going to be late, as per usual.’ She huffed and shook her head. ‘I still need to load my horse too.’
‘Well, I’m more than happy to help you with that.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah, of course, and it’ll give your mum a bit more time when she gets home.’
‘That’d be great, thanks heaps.’
‘No problemo. Just let me go and put this baby back in the shed and I’ll come and grab the keys to the Land Rover from you and hook up the float.’
‘You rock, Uncle Zane, thank you.’
‘Pleasure.’ Matching her broad grin, he zoomed over to the shed, parked the mower and was back at the bottom of the steps just as she was wandering out the door, keys in hand.
‘Here you are.’ She tossed them to him. ‘I’ll get Boomerang ready.’
‘Grooviness.’
‘Grooviness?’ She smiled. ‘Is that some kind of hip word from the eighties or something?’
‘Ha, yeah … I’m showing my age, aren’t I?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She giggled. ‘But good on you for keeping the dream alive.’
‘Thank ya.’ He tipped his hat playfully. ‘I do my best.’
Twenty minutes later, the trailer was hooked up and Riley was loading her slightly nervy horse. Zane stood back and watched her gently coax Boomerang in, her movements reassuring, as was her voice. He believed you either had horsiness in your blood or you didn’t, and just like her mum, Riley had it coursing through her veins. Once the horse was in safe and sound, he stepped up and helped her close the back of the float.
‘You know you don’t have to come along, if you don’t feel like it, hey, Uncle Zane?’ Her forehead puckered as she waited for his response.
Placing his sunglasses atop his hat, he held her stare. ‘Don’t be silly, I’m really looking forward to watching you today.’
‘Thank you.’ Blinking wet eyes, Riley looked down at her boots, her shoulders slumping. ‘I really wish Dad would feel that way too.’
Zane looked at her for a few moments and then shook his head sadly. ‘I’m really sorry he’s like that, Riley. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for you.’
She shrugged. ‘Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault.’
‘It’s not your fault either, so don’t you go blaming yourself, hey.’
Hands in pockets, she drew in the dirt with the toe of her boot. ‘That’s what Mum always says.’
Zane couldn’t help but notice the similar habit – it was something Emma always did when she was deep in thought, drawing shapes in the dirt with her boot, a stick or her finger. ‘Well, you make sure you listen to her, because she’s a very wise woman, your mum.’
‘Ha, yeah, she is, most of the time.’ The drone of the tractor grew louder. Turning, she looked out over the paddocks. ‘I try not to blame myself, but it’s a bit hard not to sometimes.’
Zane’s jaw clenched, as did his heart. At a loss for words, he ached to embrace his niece, to take away the heartache Michael had caused her with his inability to show love. Michael was so much like Peter. ‘Is your dad coming along today?’
‘Yeah, I think so.’ She finally looked back at him. The sparkle that had been in her eyes as she’d loaded her horse was now all but gone. She forced a smile. ‘Not that he wants to. Mum just nags him until he finally agrees. He hates horses and hates the fact I love them.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Even though it hurts when he’s not there, it kinda sucks when he is too, because all he does is tell me what I’m doing wrong.’ She threw her hands up in the air. ‘I can’t win with him.’
‘Well, I’ll make sure I tell you everything you’re doing right.’ Unable to hold back any longer, he cautiously raised his arms. ‘Can I give you a hug?’
Suddenly looking as if she was about to burst into tears, she nodded and half stepped, half fell into him. Her head resting against his chest, her quivers told him she was crying. Unable to speak for fear of crumbling with her, he just rubbed her back, letting her stay within his embrace as long as she needed. The sound of the tractor approaching had her stepping back.
‘Please don’t tell Mum I’m upset. She’ll only worry.’ She quickly wiped her face, sniffling. ‘She’s had enough worrying about me lately.’
‘I promise I won’t say a word.’ Even though it felt wrong, keeping this from Emma, he also didn’t want to jeopardise the bond he was building with Riley. She needed a male figure in her life she could depend on, one she could trust, and he would make it so.
Riley smiled. ‘Thank you.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Uncle Zane, would you like to come to my deb ball, too?’
‘Oh, choice, Riley, it would be my absolute honour.’
‘Choice, hey? I like that one.’ She beamed brighter than the sun. ‘It’ll be nice having you there.’
Pulling up next to the open-sided shed, Emma jumped from the tractor and strode towards them, Tiny loyally at her side. ‘Hey, you two.’ She flashed them a smile. ‘Thanks for helping her load the horse, Zane, gives me enough time to have a quick rinse under the shower now.’ She scratched at her arms, which were already red. ‘Slashing always makes me itchy.’
‘All good, Em.’ Zane spotted the red around Riley’s eyes, but it was too late to warn her.
‘Riley, have you been crying, love?’ A true mum with the eyes of a hawk, Emma’s smile vanished as she took Riley’s hands in hers.
Riley laughed a little nervously. ‘No, I just got something in my eye, that’s all.’
Still holding her hands, Emma leant back. ‘Both eyes?’ The look on her face showed that she didn’t believe a word.
‘Yeah, just a bit of dust.’ She tugged her hands free and rubbed them. ‘Actually, they really hurt so I might go and wash them out.’
‘Okay, love, you go do that.’ She waited for Riley to be out of earshot then spun to face Zane. ‘What happened?’
Feeling like a deer in headlights, he tried to shrug it off. ‘Like she said, got dust in her eyes.’
Emma looked around, the rain last night leaving not a speck of dust on the green lawn. ‘Uh-huh, because it’s so dusty, right?’ Arms folded across her chest, she glared at him. ‘Please tell me the truth, Zane.’
‘I am.’ Unable to look at her any longer, for fear of breaking his promise, he pretended to be engrossed in checking the back of the horse float. ‘Riley has asked me along, so I’ll see you both down there.’ And off he went, his strides long as he all but ran towards the cottage, Emma’s eyes burning a hole in his back the entire way. Just as he stepped beneath the coolness of the porch, he heard an almighty huff, and turned to see her stomping across the lawn towards the homestead.
Oh hell, now he was really in the shit.
CHAPTER 16
His mind filled with thoughts, Zane almost missed the turn-off to the Silvergum show grounds. Hitting the brakes, his tyres screeched as he pulled off the highway and began looking for a spot to park. A jumble of horse floats and four-wheel drives, some with horses secured to the bull bars as they waited for their events, and the grandstands dotted with wide-brimmed hats and umbrellas, the place was a hive of activity. The mid-morning sun was already casting long shadows, the heat bringing hordes of flies swarming from their hiding places. Swatting one from his face while cursing the little blighter for finding its way inside the cab of his LandCruiser, Zane pulled up in the shade of a towering silver gum. Killing the ignition, he looked out to where girls pranced around on their stunning-looking mounts in the arena, searching only for Riley. He picked her out right ove
r the other side of the grounds, her face a picture of concentration as Boomerang picked up his feet in a high-stepping walk to be proud of. Jumping out, he shoved the keys in his pocket as he headed in that general direction, hoping to god Emma had got over her huff with him. It would make for a hard day ahead if she hadn’t. Although, he couldn’t blame her – it was eating him up, not telling her what had gone down with Riley this morning. He felt it was her place to know. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place.
Weaving his way through the trailers and vehicles, while watching Riley sitting so naturally in the saddle, he finally spotted Emma’s old Land Rover, the horse float still hitched. She appeared from behind it, looking so beautiful that it stole his breath. ‘Hey, Em.’
She offered him a frown, but her lips curved ever so slightly. ‘Hey there, Casanova.’ Their arms brushed as she passed him, the fleeting moment of intimacy sending his heart into a frenzied gallop.
She wasn’t over it and was baiting him to bite.
He released a slow breath, his eyes catching the shiny rhinestones curving over the pockets of her Wrangler jeans. ‘Can I ask a favour?’
‘Yup.’ Now sitting on her heels while going through a bucket of tack, she didn’t bother looking up. ‘Shoot.’
‘Can you please stop calling me “Casanova”, I bloody well hate it.’
She flinched, but still didn’t turn to look at him. ‘Well, you were given that nickname because that’s exactly what you were. And seeing you at your finest down at the pub that first night, with some backpacker, you’re still living up to your reputation in my books.’ She dared a glance in his direction. ‘But if it bothers you that much, I’ll stop.’
‘Cheers.’ Her words were abrasive, but he could read her body like a book. ‘I’d appreciate it.’ He could see the stiffness of her shoulders, and the tremble of her hands and lips. She was desperately trying to hide her feelings from him. ‘I just don’t want to be known as that man anymore, especially not to you.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘Because I’m not that man anymore.’ He folded his arms.
She mocked him, standing up and folding her arms too. ‘I’d have to see it to believe it.’
Goddam it, she was stubborn when she was pissed off. ‘Why can’t you just take my word for it?’
‘Because actions speak louder than words.’ She tucked her hair behind her ear as she faced him, her expression somewhat torn.
He shook his head; the change of atmosphere between them from last night to now was confusing. But then, she’d always been one to say it how it is. ‘Far out, I’m sorry.’
‘What for.’
‘For not telling you that Riley was upset.’
She smiled, shaking her head ever so slightly. ‘But I thought she was okay?’
‘For god’s sake, what do you want from me, Emma?’
‘I could ask the same of you, Zane,’ she said, with sharp impatience.
Her eyes smouldered, and he almost lost all self-control. ‘Righto then, I’ll go first. I just want …’ His voice trailed off as he tried to find words other than the ones wanting to roll right off his tongue … I just want to carry you into that trailer and have my way with you, and you with me. I want to feel your nails dig into my back, as I send you to places you’ve never been. And then I never, ever, want to let you go. I want us to be together. Forever.
Her boot tapped the ground impatiently. ‘Go on … I’m all ears.’
‘I want for you to be happy, and for Riley to be happy.’
‘Well then, you need to be honest with me about her.’ Her refusal to look him in the eyes made him uneasy. ‘She’s my daughter, Zane, and as her mother, it’s my right to know if she is upset about something, so I can try and help her.’
‘I know, I’m sorry. It’s just, she asked me not to tell you, and I didn’t want to break her trust, not when she’s just started having faith in me. She needs to know she can trust men, or she’s going to have a real hard time with guys when she’s older.’
‘Wow, very deep and insightful, Zane.’ The rigidness in her face and body softened. ‘Okay, that’s a good start … now tell me the rest.’
He heaved a sigh, before rubbing his face with his hands. ‘Bloody hell,’ he grumbled beneath his breath.
Tipping her head, she sighed. ‘I’m sorry, but you of all people know how worried I am about her right now, so keeping things from me isn’t going to help, her or me.’
He felt like a traitor, but Emma had a damn good point. ‘You promise you won’t tell her I told you?’
She made a cross over her chest with her finger. ‘You have my word.’
‘Okay, all right.’ He huffed, more at himself than anything. ‘She got upset because I was so excited to come and watch her today.’
Her face wrinkled in confusion. ‘That’s not something to get so upset about …’ She stopped and sucked in a breath. ‘Oh, because Michael never really wants to be here.’
‘Exactly, and she knows it’s only because you force him to come.’
‘She does?’
‘Yup, afraid so.’
She slowly shook her head. ‘But I never do it in front of her, or when she can hear me on the phone.’
‘She’s a clever girl, Em, and she’s old enough to understand what’s going on.’ He took steps towards her, not wanting their conversation to be overheard. ‘We all know Michael, and how bad he is at covering up his dislike of something, or in my case, someone. Riley can see that he doesn’t want to be here to support her, and he’s only doing it to shut you up … Sorry to be brash.’
‘All good, no need to beat around the bush with me, you know that.’ She sucked in a shuddering breath as she began to pace. Back and forward, back and forward. ‘Poor Riley, I still see her as my baby, and think I can protect her by hiding things from her, but …’ She tried to smile. ‘I can’t.’
Stopping her from wearing a ditch into the dirt, Zane wrapped an arm around her shoulder. ‘You’re only doing what you think is best, but honestly, she’s almost sixteen.’ He chuckled, desperately trying to make light of the situation so Emma didn’t bash herself up over it. ‘Do you remember how we thought we could rule the world at that age? No matter how much our parents tried to hide stuff, like my mum with her cancer, we were switched on and knew exactly what was going on.’
Leaning into him, Emma nodded. ‘They grow up so quick. One minute you’re teaching them the alphabet and singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to get them to sleep, and the next you’re watching them pick dresses out for their deb ball … all in the blink of an eye.’
‘You’re the best mum, Em, just remember that, okay?’
‘Thank you so much.’ Emma wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. ‘And I’m sorry for being a stroppy bitch. You were only doing what you thought best for Riley, too.’
‘I was, and you had every right to be stroppy.’
‘Well, now, aren’t we looking all cosy?’ Michael strode towards them, his chest puffed and his chin up. ‘Birds of a feather flock together.’
‘Speak of the goddamn devil,’ Emma whispered before unravelling her arms and smiling gallantly at Michael. ‘About time you showed up.’
‘Yeah, yeah, heard it all before.’ He gave Zane the evil eye. ‘Where’s Riley?’
‘In the arena.’
Grunting, Michael turned and strode off.
‘How did I ever marry that man?’
Zane shrugged. ‘He used to be nice, before Mum died and then Peter decided to make him his successor after Michael finished high school.’
‘That was a long time ago.’
‘Yeah, it was.’ Zane tipped his head. ‘Come on, let’s go annoy Michael some more while we do what he should be doing … cheering Riley on.’
Emma grinned and clapped her hands. ‘Let’s.’
Leaning against the railings, with Emma close beside him, they did just that, cheering and clapping as they watched the girls
hurdle dazzling horses over a maze of jumps – single bars, cross bars and crisscrossed oxer bars. Pride enveloped Zane as he quietly observed Riley in the saddle, assessing the course while she waited her turn, a tiny smile curling her lips when she focused on the final jump with the added test of water beneath it. Just like her mum, she rose to a challenge – what wasn’t there to be proud of with a wonderful girl like her? Michael seriously needed his head read. Zane snuck a glance in his direction, only to catch Michael with his head bowed over his mobile phone. Could the son of a bitch be any less interested in his own daughter? It took every bit of his resolve not to storm over there, grab him by his poncey golf shirt collar, and tell him so.
Emma’s applauding pulled his attention back to the centre ring. Riley’s turn, she gave Boomerang her cue and they were off. One, two, three strides and they hit the mark, and then with a tug on the reins only noticeable by a trained eye, they were over the rail effortlessly. Zane couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face, the sense of pride he felt for his extremely talented niece now immeasurable. Anyone who didn’t know the situation would think she was his daughter and Michael was the uncle. His heart warming, the thought both amused and delighted him – if only that were the case. Then Emma would be his wife, his queen, and Riley would be his little princess – and he would treat them so, every single day. And he would be the happiest man alive. He could dream, he supposed.
His gaze following Boomerang and Riley clearing the rails, he admired how they moved graciously from one hurdle to the next. Emma beamed proudly beside him, jumping up and down on the spot each and every time Boomerang’s hooves hit the ground. Seeing her so happy made him so very happy. On the eighth jump, Boomerang’s back hoof just nicked the rail, and although wobbling, it settled back into the cup and remained put. Zane applauded and caught Michael glaring at him out of the corner of his eye – to hell with the bastard. Riley and Boomerang sailed through the rest of the course, making the crisscrossed oxer bars look like a cinch. Zane knew just how hard they could be. Reaching the end of the course, and clearing the water jump with inches to spare, Riley’s smile was as wide as Zane and Emma’s as she met their gazes.