by Mia Belle
“I didn’t lose her,” I correct, maybe a bit too defensively. “We’re still best friends. She’s allowed to hang out with other people. I don’t control her life.”
His eyebrows furrow and his lips press tight.
“Sorry,” I say. “Didn’t mean to snap.” I rub my forehead. “Coming here was harder than I thought it would be, but I’m trying to be strong.”
His hand slowly moves toward me, until he places it on my knee. It’s warm and sends this weird chill down my spine. I glance down at it, then at him. When he removes it, I suddenly feel cold.
“Want to talk about it?” he asks. “Why you hate football so much?”
I try to roll my shoulders, but they’re as stiff as the walls in my house. “It’s just a sensitive topic for me. It reminds me of something I’d rather forget.”
“I get that. I felt the same way after I lost football. Didn’t want anything to do with it. That’s why my trophies are dumped in that box. But being here, I feel connected, you know? Just because I lost something that meant so much to me, it doesn’t mean I have to cut it out of my life completely. I’ll miss out.”
“Playing and watching are totally different things,” I say.
He puffs out his cheeks. “That’s true. I guess saying those words are easier than listening to them. But as much as this hurts, I need to accept that football is over for me.” He smiles sadly. “Looks like we both need to be strong.”
The game starts and I try to watch, but I’m focused on the guy sitting next to me. He cheers and claps along with the others, but I catch the torment in his eyes. He’s trying to put on a brave face, but I know this is killing him inside.
“Do you want to go?” I shout over the noise.
“What?”
“Do you want to leave?”
“No way.”
He’s just torturing himself, but it’s not my place to say anything. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s trying to be strong and overcome it.
The game ends, and of course our team won. Aidan claps enthusiastically. Maybe even overdoing it a little. His face is still filled with pain, but he tries to mask it. I’m not normally good at reading people, but I can read him like one of my books.
He turns to me with a bright smile. “That was fun.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
He gives me a look like I asked him how to tie my shoelaces. “What? Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
I shrug. It’s really not my business.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I kind of want to get out of here.”
He shoots to his feet. “Okay, I’ll text my dad to pick us up. Unless you want to grab something to eat? I heard there are lots of good diners here.”
“No thanks.”
“Okay. Maybe another time.”
We leave the field, squeezing through the crowd. Aidan shoves his hands in his pockets as we wait for his dad.
“Want to do that again sometime?” he asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Oh.” He looks at me, then away. “I had a good time, so I thought we might—”
“Your dad’s here.”
The car ride is pretty much Aidan and his dad talking about football. Aidan’s a little quiet, and it’s mostly Craig who’s holding the conversation. Since I’m in the back, I can’t see the look on Aidan’s face. But I bet he’s still torn up about losing football. He might pretend he’s fine, but I know better.
I press my cheek to the window, forcing myself not to care.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lia
I’ve been in my room the entire Saturday morning, soaking up the words of the book I’m reading. This one isn’t a romance. I think I’m a little sick of them. Ever since Josh’s idiot friends told me he’s being released from juvie, I’ve kind of stayed away from anything romance related. I don’t want my mood ruined because of him, which is why I’m reading a genre I don’t really like. Science fiction has never been my thing.
My phone beeps with a text.
Sophie: You’ve been quiet all day. What’s up?
Me: Figured you were with Alexis.
Sophie: Nah, she had a family thing. So what’s up?
A part of me presumes she’s only texting me because her new best friend is busy, but the other part of me assures me she’s still my best friend. I feel a little petty to obsess over this when there are worse things out there—like a dead mother. But Sophie and I have been through so much together. That’s why her spending time with Alexis is like a stab in the heart.
Me: Nothing. Just reading.
She doesn’t respond for a good few minutes, and I worry I’m boring compared to the “awesome and amazing Alexis.” I know people change in high school. Some friends are lost and others are made. I just never expected it to happen to me.
I haven’t been the best company this past month, so I guess I can’t blame her for wanting to escape my negativity and gloominess.
“Hey, neighbor,” a familiar voice calls. “You there?”
My blinds aren’t up, but the slats are open. He knows I’m here, yet he’s still asking? Just to annoy me?
“Leave me alone,” I yell back. “I’m busy.”
“Reading a book you hate?”
I shut the book, march to the window, and pull the cord. Zane is sitting in his usual spot, legs hanging out of the window and a sketchpad on his lap. Ear buds are lodged in his ears, and his head bobs to the beat of the music.
He drags the ear buds out. “Hey. How was the game yesterday?”
“Fine. Aidan told you we went together?”
He shrugs. “Saw my dad drop you off.” He studies my face. “Was it fun?”
“I guess.”
He continues studying me.
“What are you drawing?” I ask to distract him from trying to figure me out.
“This?” He pats the sketchpad. It’s opened to a page, but I can’t see what’s on there. “Just something I’ve been working on.”
“Can I see?”
He covers it with both hands, a crooked smile tugging his mouth. “Seriously? Amelia Kelly is interested in my drawings?”
I roll my eyes. “You make me sound like a selfish, self-centered bitch.”
His eyebrows come together. “Hell no. You’re not selfish. You’re not self-centered. And you’re definitely not a bitch.”
I just stare at him, not sure what to do or say. What the heck does he mean by that? And anyway, he’s wrong. I’ve been acting pretty bitchy toward him ever since his family moved here.
He glances at his sketchpad, then at me. After he tears out the page, he holds it toward me.
“What’s that?” I ask.
He waves it. “You wanted to see what I’m drawing, didn’t you?”
“Why do I have the feeling I’m going to regret this?” I roll my eyes. “I bet it’s a girl with huge boobs.”
He furrows his eyebrows, pulling back the page. “Is that really what you think of me? First you call me a pig and now this?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t know you.”
“Right. Yet you make all these conclusions about me. Is that fair?”
I sigh. “What do you want from me?”
He stretches the drawing toward me. “This.”
I give him a look, warning him not to mess with me before reaching forward and grabbing the page. It’s…me?
He captured me perfectly, with my curly hair and big eyes. The drawing isn’t colored, but it looks exactly like me.
I slowly raise my eyes to him. “Why would you draw me?”
“Because I want to see you that way.”
“What?”
He nods at it. “Smiling. I’ve never seen you smile once and I wanted to know how you’d look.” He shrugs. “So I drew it. You’re very beautiful, Amelia.”
I freeze. Did he just call me…? I shove it aside. “This is too creepy.” I hold it out to him. “You can’t go around drawin
g people without their permission.”
“Why not? My sketchpad, my rules. And you can keep it.”
I continue holding it out to him. “I don’t want it.”
He frowns. “Did I embarrass you?”
I shake the paper at him, but he still won’t take it. “How many girls have you drawn?”
“Just you.”
“Why? Why do you care if I smile or not? It’s a little weird.”
He’s quiet as he regards me. “Not weird at all. It took me a long time to crack a smile when I first came to live with the Armstrongs. I’d forgotten how good it felt. You should try it.”
“I’ve smiled enough times when my mom was alive. I used to be a happy kid.”
“Don’t you think your mom would want you to be happy again?”
I narrow my eyes at him. Of course he’s right. It always hurt my mother to see me so unhappy. But how can I be happy when I’m the reason she’s dead? Tears fill my eyes and spill down my cheeks before I can stop them.
Zane’s face fills with sympathy. “Lia, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”
I wipe my eyes with my shirtsleeve. “No. You’re right. She’d want me to be happy. But I can’t, okay? Are you going to take this or not?” I shake the drawing again.
“Keep it.”
“I don’t want it.”
He looks hurt, and I immediately want to punch myself. There I go being a bitch again.
“Not that it isn’t amazing,” I quickly say. “It’s just weird that you drew me.”
He doesn’t say anything, keeping his eyes locked on mine. I don’t know how much time passes with the two of us staring at each other. I can’t understand the expression in his eyes. What does he want from me? To smile? Why does it matter to him?
“Zane,” a voice calls, and then Caleb stands in his doorway. “Aidan and I decided that zombie one is too lame. He would rather see the sports one. What do you…oh, hey, Lia.” He smiles sweetly. “What are you guys doing?”
I quickly pull in my hand and drop the drawing to the floor.
Zane flips to another page in his pad and starts drawing. “Just talking.”
Caleb’s eyes move from me to him. I hope he’s not forming theories about me and his cousin. “Oh. So which movie do you want to see? Lia, you should come with.”
“To see a movie?” I ask. I usually watch movies with my best friend every time she comes over, but it looks like she’d rather mope about not spending time with Alexis then hang out with me. “I’m not really in the mood.”
He looks disappointed. Zane’s busy attacking his sketchpad with his pencil. I have no idea if he’s even listening to us.
“Okay,” Caleb says. “Zane, you coming?”
“Not if she’s not.”
“What?” I demand.
His green eyes meet mine. “It’s not right for you to be all alone here like this. I’ll keep you company as you read and you’ll keep me company as I draw.”
I stare at him incredulously. “You’re crazy.”
He thinks for a second. “Yeah. I think I get that from my dad’s side. No, my mom’s.” He shrugs. “Maybe both.”
I glance at Caleb, who looks like he’s used to Zane being like this.
“You can’t force me to go,” I tell Zane.
“Never said I was forcing you. I’d never do that.” He rolls his shoulders. “Just figured you’d want to get out of the house. Forget the shit in your life for a bit.”
There’s more to his words, almost as if he’s talking to himself and not only me.
Caleb shifts in place, like he’s not sure what to do with himself. My eyes flicker from one guy to the other. Is Zane right? Would going to a movie take my mind off my mom’s death, Josh’s imminent return, and all the pain from my past?
It would only be a temporary distraction, but maybe that’s what I need right now.
“Fine,” I say. “I’ll come.”
That same lazy smile spreads across Zane’s face. “Cool.”
“Ready in half an hour?” Caleb asks me.
“Sure.”
He gives me a sweet smile before slipping out of Zane’s room. Zane’s gaze is glued on me, and there’s this odd look in his eyes.
“What?” I ask.
“Just thinking what movie to watch, since it’s my turn to pick.” He rubs his chin, eyes still on me. “Yep. Comedy.”
“Why comedy?”
He lifts an eyebrow. “I want to see you smile in person.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lia
I meet the guys outside, and we head for the movie theater. Aidan’s on my right, hands shoved into his pockets. Zane’s are at his sides, and I notice his fingers are covered in ink. From his drawings. Caleb’s head whips around like he’s worried someone is after him.
It takes us about ten minutes to reach the theater. I used to come here a lot when I was little. My parents and I would have our weekly Friday movie nights. But somehow that stopped over the years. Maybe because I would rather spend time with Sophie in my room. Now as the guys and I make our way inside, I wish I hadn’t abandoned that tradition. I’d do anything to watch a movie with my mom and dad again.
“Hey.” Aidan’s hand lightly sweeps across my arm. “You okay?” He looks genuinely concerned, and something weird happens inside me. A feeling of warmth spreads to each and every one of my limbs.
I cross my arms over my chest, willing that feeling to disappear. But it doesn’t. “I’m fine.”
Zane is buying our tickets while Caleb is at the concession stand. Aidan chuckles lightly. “I bet he’s regretting not bringing his own snacks to the movie.” He snickers. “Can you imagine that? The guy would rather make the food and bring it to the movie.”
“He told me he bakes a lot.”
Aidan runs his hand through his blond hair, puffing out his cheeks. “A bit too much. I don’t think it’s healthy, but it’s his way of dealing.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask him to please finally tell me what’s going on with them, but I press my lips together. They don’t know the details of my mom’s death or what my ex-boyfriend did to me and I’d rather keep it that way. They must feel the same. So I have no right to demand anything from them.
Zane joins us. “Got the tickets.” His eyes move from me to his brother. “What’re you guys talking about?”
“Caleb and his baking disease.”
Zane frowns as he watches his cousin talking with the guy behind the counter. From what I can see, he’s very picky about his snacks. “Yeah.” Zane tears his gaze away from Caleb, focusing on me. I can’t read the look in his eyes.
A good few minutes pass before Caleb heads over to us, arms filled with popcorn and candy. “I got two buckets of popcorn,” he tells us. “Two can share one and two the other. Oh, and Lia, I wasn’t sure what candy you like so I got three kinds.” He hands a stack to me.
“Thanks, that was very nice of you.”
Aidan wraps his arm over Caleb’s shoulder. “Yep, he’s nice when he wants to be.”
“Don’t you mean all the time?” Zane snorts. “He’s too kind for his own good.”
Caleb pulls out of Aidan’s hold. “You’re blaming me again,” he says in a low voice. “Because I’m too kind I can’t stand up for myself?”
Aidan and Zane exchange a look. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Zane says. “Seriously, man, not everything is about…you know. It happened and we’re here and we need to make the most of it. And besides, we’re with Lia, about to watch a movie. So for once in your life, have some fun.” He grabs a bucket of popcorn and makes his way into the theater. Aidan, Caleb, and I follow.
We find good seats and sit down, me between Zane and Aidan. Caleb is on Aidan’s other side.
Zane dumps the bucket in my lap. “Looks like you and I are sharing,” he whispers, his mouth close to my ear.
I shrink away from him. “That’s okay, you can have it all.”
He frowns, moving so close to me I feel the heat leaping off him. “Come on, Amelia—”
“You’re too close.”
His mouth snaps shuts, eyebrows furrow. He leans away from me. “Okay, sorry.”
He looks like he wants to say something else, but Aidan says, “Are you sure this is a good idea? Most comedies aren’t even funny.”
“This one is.”
Aidan crosses his arms over his chest. “I wanted that sports movie and I think Lia would have liked it.”
Zane scowls. “No, she’d be more interested in the comedy.”
“Are you guys seriously fighting over what movie I’d like more?” I ask.
“Yeah,” they both say.
I look from one to the other. “Why?”
Zane shakes his head. “You don’t get it, do you, Lia?”
I hit him with a confused face, waiting for him to explain, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and thumbs through it.
I turn to Aidan. He holds up his hands helplessly. “I know you don’t like us. But we like you. There’s just something about you.”
They like me?
“As friends,” he quickly explains. “And we want to hang out with you.” He averts his gaze. “I know what it’s like to lose your friends and be all alone.”
“You’re talking about Sophie? I didn’t lose her.”
“Okay. But you can always use more, can’t you?” He rubs the back of his neck. “Look, I just want you to know I see you as a friend. As someone I can…well, trust.”
I just stare at him.
He blows air out of his mouth. “I don’t know what it is about you, I just know you’d be a great listener and a friend and I can tell you anything. Not many people know how lost I am without football. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I watch TV all day, waiting for the time to pass like I’ll wake up one day and be able to play football again. But that’s never going to happen. I need to accept it, and I’m trying. But it’s very hard.”
I have no idea why he’s telling me this. We hardly know each other. Why does he feel like he can trust me?
He smiles awkwardly. “Was that too much?” He looks to his right and left to see if the others heard him. Zane’s on his phone and Caleb’s scribbling in his recipe notebook. I’m pretty sure they heard, though.