by Wolf, Bree
“Then why are you looking at me like that?” Nathanial demanded with a huff. Oddly enough, the irritated tone in his voice made him think of Charlaine.
Zach sighed, a strange grin coming to his face. “You seem different, dear Brother.”
“Different?” Nathanial frowned. “What do you mean?”
If anyone appeared different, it was Zach. The man could not stop smiling at his wife, his hands constantly seeking hers as though he were drowning and needed a lifeline.
And she was no better.
Zach shrugged. Still, the disconcerting grin remained. “You seemed quite well acquainted with Markham’s guest.”
Nathanial didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help tensing at his brother’s observation. “Well, if you must know—”
“I must,” Zach confirmed with a chuckle.
“She and I are…friends.” The statement still felt strange.
Quite obviously, it sounded strange as well for a deep frown drew down his brother’s brows. “Friends?” Zach glanced at his wife, who looked equally confused.
“You’re friends?” Becca asked, a mix of doubt and suspicion swirling in her green eyes.
Again, Nathanial huffed out an annoyed breath, and again, it made him think of Charlaine, which was a bit unsettling at the moment. “Since I do not assume that the concept of friendship is foreign to you, I cannot understand what it is you fail to understand.”
“Are you courting her?” Zach asked without preamble, straightforward as always.
Becca smiled. “She appears to be a very cheerful, young woman.” If Nathanial was not at all mistaken, a certain implication hung on her words, notably that he, Nathanial, was not cheerful at all, but ought to be—as far as his dear sister-in-law was concerned.
Meeting their gazes with an unfailing one of his own, Nathanial said, “No, I’m not courting her nor do I have the intention to. We are friends, nothing more and nothing less. There, satisfied?”
Zach chuckled. “How on earth did you become friends? I must say I find this very unusual.”
“Do you disapprove?” Nathanial demanded in a clipped tone.
It did not escape his brother’s attention. “What if I did?” he asked, a daring glow coming to his eyes. “What would you do?”
“Nothing.” Nathanial shrugged. “Our friendship is not based on your approval, dear Brother.” He glanced at Becca. “As I recall, you did not ask for mine, either.”
Instead of being offended, Becca laughed. “Oh, does that mean that you—?”
“It does not!” Nathanial replied like a shot fired from a pistol. Indeed, the amused spark in his sister-in-law’s gaze was rather unsettling. He could only hope she was not one to meddle in other people’s affairs. His friendship with Charlaine was the first good thing to come his way since Abigail broke off their engagement, and the thought of losing it…
…of losing her…
“Friends, then,” Zach said, a diplomatic tone in his voice. “And, no, I do not disapprove for she quite obviously does you good.” A warm smile came to his features. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you at ease like this. I assume that is her doing.”
Unable not to, Nathanial nodded. “You assume right.” And he barely managed to suppress the smile that fought to the surface.
*
Charlaine cast Emma a warm smile as the young woman once more reminded Daphne and Susan to show proper manners in front of the assembled guests.
The wedding breakfast had passed in a pleasing manner with happy smiles and joyous laughter, well-wishes and congratulations offered left and right. Pierce and Caroline looked happier than Charlaine had ever seen them, and whenever Daphne was not conspiring with Susan to steal another sugary treat, she often stared dreamily at Caroline in her beautiful wedding gown, a longing expression in her soft, brown eyes.
Indeed, they were a family in the making.
Charlaine could not be happier.
“Are you all right?”
Turning, she met Nathanial’s blue eyes, slightly narrowed as he looked at her with concern marking his features. “I’m fine,” Charlaine replied, surprised by the slight catch in her voice.
Nathanial’s gaze narrowed further. “You’re not,” he stated as his eyes swept her face. Then he stepped closer and she could feel his warm hand touch her elbow before he steered her off to the side, away from the loud commotion of the wedding party. “What is it?”
Charlaine swallowed. “I promised myself I would not think about them. Not today.” Tears gathered in her eyes and she turned away, trying her best to rid herself of them.
Stepping around her, Nathanial once more appeared in her line of sight…or rather the tips of his shoes did for Charlaine could not bring herself to lift her head and look at him. She would not ruin Pierce’s wedding! She would not!
Her hands wiped at her eyes. “I’ll be fine.”
“Is it your family?” Nathanial asked rather unexpectedly that Charlaine could not prevent her head from snapping up.
His lips thinned at seeing her tear-stained cheeks. “What happened?”
Charlaine shook her head. “I’ll not speak of them for I refuse to be reduced to a puddle of tears today of all days.” She inhaled a deep breath. “I’ll be fine.”
The look on Nathanial’s face spoke of disbelief, but he nodded. “Will you dance with me then?”
Staring at him, Charlaine heard a chuckle burst from her lips. “Do you mean it?” Perhaps she had misheard him. “You must admit you’ve always been rather reluctant to dance with me. Is it because you don’t like to dance or because you don’t like to dance with me?” Her brows rose teasingly, and she felt her heart grow lighter.
Nathanial looked away, but she could see the corners of his mouth arch up into a smile. “I’ve not been very fond of dancing since…” His voice trailed off and his gaze met hers.
Charlaine nodded. “Abigail was her name, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.”
A deep sigh left Charlaine’s lips. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself in order to cheer me up. Don’t misunderstand me; it is extremely kind of you to offer, but I couldn’t in good conscience accept your generosity, knowing—”
“I don’t mind,” Nathanial interrupted her, and the look in his eyes told her that he was as surprised by this admission as she was. “I mean, dancing with you is…different.” A disbelieving grin came to his lips. “Everything with you is different.”
Charlaine feigned a frown. “Am I to take this as a compliment, good sir?”
His gaze sobered. “Definitely.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
A Lady Without Shoes
After glancing at the assembled guests, Charlaine slipped her arm through his and urged him out onto the terrace and then farther down into the gardens. Nathanial frowned as they disappeared around a tall-growing hedge and the voices from the house slowly grew dimmer. A small pond sat nearby, its waters undisturbed and peaceful as dragonflies hovered above its shiny surface.
“Where are we going?” he asked, wondering what she was up to. After all, with Charlaine, one never knew. “We can barely hear the music from here. I thought you wanted to dance.”
Charlaine sighed. “I simply…wanted to get away for a moment.” She turned to look at him, and her brown eyes shone like amber in the soft light of the afternoon. “Do you sometimes feel like that?”
Holding her gaze, Nathanial nodded. “More often than you think.”
“Do you feel like that right now?” Something vulnerable rested in her eyes as she spoke, and his heart warmed at the possibility that she genuinely cared for him.
Reaching for her hand, he shook his head. “I never do when I’m with you.” One corner of his mouth quirked upward. “Not even when you step on my toes.”
Her face brightened, and laughter, free and unrestrained, spilled from her lips. “I do believe that is the highest compliment any woman has ever received. You honor me, good si
r.”
Nathanial smiled at her. Indeed, smiling came a lot easier to him these days. His brother had been right. Charlaine was good for him. “Shall we?”
Nodding, she stepped forward, her other hand coming to rest on his upper arm. “If you’re willing to risk it, who am I to object?”
Nathanial was about to move when he suddenly paused.
“Is something wrong?” Charlaine asked, her eyes looking up into his.
For a moment, Nathanial hesitated, too unaccustomed was the notion that had unexpectedly entered his mind. He inhaled a deep breath and then said, “Take off your shoes.”
Charlaine’s eyes grew round and her jaw dropped open.
“Don’t stare at me like that,” Nathanial rebuked her. “Simply take off your shoes. We both know you want to, and it’ll spare my toes the torture they had to endure these past few weeks.”
Shaking her head, Charlaine laughed. “You surprise me.” She stepped back, one hand still on his arm, and bent down to pull off her shoes. “I love it.”
The dainty slippers fell to the ground, and Nathanial pulled her back into his arms, strangely proud of himself. Why that was, was beyond him for he had done nothing but grant her a simple request. Still, for him, it had been a challenge, and the look in her eyes told him that she knew it as well.
And then they danced.
Faint notes of a hauntingly beautiful melody drifted down into the gardens, mingling with the soft sounds of summer. The light breeze as it brushed through the trees. The gentle trills and chirps of the birds around them. The tender sigh of a world at peace.
Here.
Now.
In this moment.
Belatedly, Nathanial realized that her feet had yet to land on his and he looked down at her, frowning. “Are you a witch of some kind? For it seems as though you’re floating on air.”
Charlaine chuckled. “Oh, if I were a witch, I’d turn us both into frogs so we could sit in the peaceful pond all day and never have to go up to the house.”
Spinning her around, Nathanial shook his head. “But then we couldn’t dance? Would you not miss it?”
Her nose scrunched up a little as she contemplated his objection. “That is true. No frogs then.”
Nathanial chuckled.
“You should take off your shoes as well,” Charlaine suggested, a bit of a wicked gleam in her eyes as she watched him, no doubt waiting for yet another shocked expression to contort his face.
But this time, it wouldn’t come. “Perhaps one day,” Nathanial whispered, wondering at the possibilities the world suddenly seemed to offer.
Charlaine granted him a most affectionate smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“I know.” And he honestly hoped she would.
*
As the day progressed, Charlaine and Nathanial reluctantly returned inside. Charlaine’s legs still twitched with the joy of dancing with bare feet, the soft grass tickling her soles, cool and fresh. It had been wonderful, and she loved Nathanial for granting her such a joy.
“We will leave London in two days,” his brother told Pierce as they stood in a small circle on the western side of the terrace.
His fiery-haired wife nodded, an eager smile upon her face as she sidled closer to her husband. “There is still too much of the world I haven’t seen.”
Beside her, Nathanial sighed, and Charlaine knew that it was hard for him to bid his brother farewell again.
“I shall miss you,” Caroline exclaimed as she stepped forward and pulled her cousin’s hands into her own. “You must promise to write to me as often as you can.”
Lady Pembroke smiled at her. “I shall do what I can.” She glanced at her husband, who could not suppress a grin. “Will you go to Markham Hall for the summer?”
Caroline nodded and then returned to Pierce’s side. “We, too, will leave Town in two days.” She laughed. “Our journey, however, will not nearly be as far as yours.”
“Will you be back by the end of the year?” Pierce asked Nathanial’s brother. “For Christmas.”
Exchanging a look with his wife, Lord Pembroke said, “I suppose it would be nice to come home for the holidays.”
Nathanial’s jaw twitched, and Charlaine wished she could hug him. It seemed happiness was everywhere, hope and joy, and yet, Nathanial had no place in it. She knew he dreaded his return to Boston—as did she—but perhaps there was a part of him that was hoping for an alternative to present itself.
A part he himself was not even aware of.
Now, with everyone making plans that did not include him, he was forced to face the truth. At least, the truth as he saw it. Charlaine, however, knew better.
“Will you go to Markham Hall as well?” Nathanial asked her quietly as the others chatted happily about the summer and all their plans.
Charlaine smiled at him. “I will.” Her eyes held his as she spoke, and her heart rejoiced at the deep regret that came to his face upon hearing her answer. He had truly come to care for her, had he not? Indeed, despite his initial insistence to the contrary, it seemed that Mr. Nathanial Caswell had finally found a friend.
“I wish you a good time,” he told her with a set jaw. A smile appeared on his face, but it looked a bit grotesque and far from genuine.
Smiling up at him, Charlaine reached for his hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. “Don’t look so glum, Nathanial. I promise before you know it I’ll be stepping on your toes again.”
A soft chuckle rumbled in his throat and, this time, the smile that came to his lips was as true and genuine as she had ever seen. If only she could share her plan with him! However, it would be prudent to speak to Pierce first.
Then she would write Nathanial a letter.
Chapter Twenty-Three
A Lady’s Letter
Never had London been this dreary, not even when he had first arrived.
A sennight ago, everyone Nathanial cared about had left. While Zach and Becca had returned to traveling the world, Lord Markham and his wife, along with the children and Charlaine, had gone to the country, spending their summer at Markham Hall.
Only Nathanial had remained.
And yet, deep down, he knew that it was time he returned to Boston. After all, there was nothing for him in England, was there? He did not have a place here, not like Zach did.
Now that Charlaine had left, her cheerful, lighthearted presence no longer silencing those nagging questions and doubts, Nathanial was forced to realize that the time to leave had come.
He had dreaded it.
He had dreaded the thought of returning to Boston.
Of seeing Abigail again.
Of returning to a life filled with nothing but loneliness.
All that awaited him in Boston was his father’s business, his legacy. And yet, the thought of doing his duty to his family helped Nathanial move forward. He asked Gusford, his brother’s butler, to book passage for him on the next available ship and then ready his things.
It was time to go home.
I suppose it would be nice to come home for the holidays. Unexpectedly, his brother’s words filled Nathanial’s mind, reminding him that now when Zach spoke of home, he no longer meant their childhood brownstone in Boston.
Now, he meant Pembroke Hall, England.
Seated in the library, Nathanial closed the book he had been reading and set it aside. He could not even remember what had been written on its pages for his mind continued to circle the decision he had made but could not make his peace with.
A knock that to his ears sounded as deafening as a shot made Nathanial shoot to his feet. “Yes!”
Gusford entered, a silver platter balanced upon his right hand. “A letter was delivered for you, Mr. Caswell.” The man’s balding head gleamed in the sun shining in through the tall windows.
“Thank you, Gusford,” Nathanial said, taking the correspondence.
Gusford nodded and then left.
The moment Nathanial’s eyes fell on the delicate, but fo
rceful scrawl, his heart almost beat out of his chest and his fingers rushed to tear open the envelope and unfold the parchment within.
My dearest Nathanial,
I can only assume that you have returned to your former ways of skulking in the corner and watching life pass you by. I am right, am I not? Now, don’t roll your eyes at me for I will not have it.
I also assume you’ve already booked passage back to Boston. Well, cancel it! Are your bags sitting by the door, ready to go? Good. I want you to order your brother’s carriage and come to Markham Hall.
Today.
Nathanial did not know what to feel in that moment. All he did know was that he could not stop smiling.
Pierce and Caroline were delighted when I asked them if you could stay with us until the next Season. They bid me tell y—
Nathanial’s jaw dropped and his eyes snapped back a few words. “Until the next Season? The woman is mad.” And yet, he could not wait to read on.
They bid me tell you that you’re most welcome to join us here at Markham Hall. Daphne and Susan send their regards as well and want to know if you have any experience catching a frog. I think they’re up to something. We shall see.
Now, go and do as I say. I miss you terribly. Not even going barefoot manages to distract me for long.
Please come.
Your friend,
Charlaine
Sinking back into the armchair he had vacated rather abruptly, Nathanial stared at the letter in his hands. Indeed, the woman was mad, but he could not deny that he loved her for it. With no more than a few words, she had managed to chase away the clouds that had been hanging over his head for the past sennight. For the truth was, he wanted to go.
The warmth in her words had stirred his heart. It felt wonderful to be missed, to have his presence welcomed. He longed to see her again and leave behind this loneliness.
The same loneliness that would have awaited him in Boston.
Nathanial knew duty required him to leave for America immediately. His heart, however, urged him into a different direction, and for the first time in his life, Nathanial chose to follow it without question.