by W Kangas
“Me thinks you are bluffing and you look to be quite tasty.”
“Show her, boys,” said the Hatter. The Whistle Head quadrupled in size and transformed into a hammer while swinging in the air so hard, he caused a fair breeze to hit them all in the face.
“Yes, he looks dangerous, but could he outmaneuver me?”
“My boy can strike in a moment’s notice. I’m sure you could tempt him, if you please,” said the Hatter,” but he is not our main protection. Show her, Whatyoucallit.”
The Whatyoucallit grunted and squirmed, turning into Godzilla while just fitting inside the cave. He spit fire into the air, lighting every inch of the cave before them. This show of power made the dragonette shiver with fear, and she decided she was truly outmatched.
“He could cook our lunch, but then again, we have no desire to eat fowl this night,” said the Hatter. “We look for a cave that is lit by glowing crystals that happens to have a stream running through it filled with fish. Do know of such a room?”
“I believe I do, and it is much deeper in this mountain. If you continue working your way down, you will come across this special place. I could guide you, if you are going to be civil.”
“I told you we have no desire to do you harm, but attack us and it will be your last day,” said the Hatter with a chuckle.
“Then we will dine on clams tonight that are plentiful in this room you have mentioned. So, follow me, boys, and I’ll be on guard, for these catacombs are filled with dangers.”
“We will let you show us the way and be thankful for your help, as these catacombs seem endless, and we could spend our entire lives looking and not finding.”
“Just follow me,” said the dragonette, “and we will glide above you so you can match my pace.”
The Hatter was happy to have found such a guide and began singing his tunes again while the Whistle Head kept the boat right behind the flying dragonettes. The Whatyoucallit lit the way, and they were a merry tribe once again. They soon found the end of the lake and the nuts transformed to land vehicles once more, shining their headlights into the dark recesses.
While the ceiling was high, the Whatyoucallit turned into a giant gorilla once more for protection. It was good he did, for they soon were attacked by scavenger beasts that didn’t resemble one another but looked more to be hodgepodged together.
Freaks in the cave, thought the Hatter.
The gorilla let out a roar to scare them that seemed to shake the very earth beneath them, then he made boogie sounds that really frightened them into running. Room after room was traversed while fending off all types of dangers, including giant clams that grew teeth and somehow turned carnivorous.
But at last they were close to entering the room with crystals, according to the dragonette. They gave a big sigh, for they were tired and a good rest would fit them all.
Yards from the entrance to their supposed destination, a new threat suddenly appeared or was it a threat at all? Three human-like images appeared to them that stood very close to one another. Each image was a slightly different color, one being blue green, one red green, and one green green. They quickly seemed friendly and wanted to know if they could share camp with the adventurers this evening.
“I don’t see why not,” said the Hatter. “We should be camping in the next room if that is good for you.”
“We would love to share your fire tonight, if it’s okay with you”
“Like I said, it should be okay with us,” answered the Hatter.
The colored humans fell in behind the explorers as they prepared to enter the cave with the magical stream. When the Hatter passed the threshold, he was awestruck at the glowing crystals wedged into the streambed.
“The stream must grow with these minerals from the mountain,” said the Hatter. He knelt by the edge and reached down, wiggling a crystal free and holding it up to his face.
“Ouch,” said a voice that startled the Hatter.
He disregarded the call of pain and said, “It’s marvelous,” while holding the multicolored crystal to his eye while it cast the same light on his face.
“Why did you do that?” said a fish that came to the surface.
“I wanted to look closely at it,” said the Hatter.
“Put it right back where it was, because you’re hurting the stream. Couldn’t you hear it cry out?”
“I did hear something but wasn’t sure what it was.”
“It’s our home, and we have to treat it right, because it nourishes us in every way. Will you please put the crystal back where it was before you permanently damage the stream?”
“Okay, but we have plans for this stream.”
“What kind of plans?” asked the fish.
“We’re going to stop it up and make a wonderful lake,” said the Hatter with a happy chuckle.
“You will kill the stream if you do that. Please don’t dam up the stream; we will all die in just days if you do.”
“That is all hokum,” said the green human. “They want to save the riches for themselves. Take the crystal and sell it; I know it’s worth a fortune. You look like a man who could do great things with money.”
“I could, now that you mention it. No one must ever come down here with riches so closely at hand,” said the Hatter.
“Only those looking for riches, and usually they find some, as the crystals are worth more than three times their weight in gold.”
“Everyone must get rich when they come down here then,” said the Hatter.
“Everyone we have talked with.”
“Do you know anyone from the valley?” asked the Hatter
“Yes, we do, and some are not to be trusted, like the mayor, Humpty Dumpty, who steals the crystals from others. There are many who would ruin your reputation, like telling people things that aren’t true about you. They feel the power by spreading falsehoods. If they can ruin you, they will, and get you out of their way, no matter how much pain they cause. We have stayed here to keep things fair and enjoy a fire now and then. We also have nurtured the stream, and the fish was wrong in his statement. The fish are the problem here, and all you have to do is ignore their stupid warnings and you could be rich beyond your dreams with just a handful of crystals.”
“Then how do you nurture the stream?” asked the Hatter.
“We make sure that no one gets greedy and takes more than their share.”
“So, if we dam up the stream, it won’t hurt it or the fish in any way?”
“That is not a fish but a selfish. You can count on that. Are you building a fire tonight?”
“We will; it sounds good to be warm by the fire, and I’m happy you’re giving me the real lowdown on this stream,” said the Hatter.
The half-baked cartoons built a camp near the stream, getting the dragonette to spit fire on some driftwood. The parties got close to the small fire with the mother and baby dragonette cuddled together under her wings close to the flames to keep warm.
“The valuable crystals are easy to find in this dark cave,” said the middle human with the all green tint to his skin. “You should look for the bigger ones and take no more than three. We’ll help you find some good ones if you like. If you find ones that are uniform in shape, they can produce energy for the holder and the energy is recognizable as a warm feeling. You should have no problem selling them each for a handsome sum.”
“Come then, and show me some good ones so I won’t waste my time,” said the Hatter.
“We would be honored to help such a fine leader as yourself, sir. Come this way, and we will show you some crystals that a king would ransom his castle to own.”
The green human in the center seemed to be the leader of the three, but the Hatter found them quite unusual as their garb covered their legs so he couldn’t see where one being stopped and the other began. Their clothes also covered their legs, so no movement was visible, and they seemed to float on air.
They are polite, thought the Hatter, even though the green one had
a sly sounding voice that was punctuated with friendly softness.
“I saw some beauties just close by and we could wrestle them free right now, if you so desire,” said the sly green human.
“I would like that,” said the Hatter. “I have nothing against being well-to-do.”
“I could also show you where you could easily have your men build a small dam. The magic water could be controlled by you then, sir, and I can assure you that the powerful will be here to buy all they can carry. Come then, and we will show you these things.”
The Hatter got up and walked by the stream, looking at the crystals glowing and lighting the streambed. He could feel the warmth next to the stream even more than being close to the fire.
“I see some good ones,” he said, pointing and becoming excited, wanting to put the crystals in his pockets to warm his legs.
“These are not the best,” said the green middle human. “Over here are the large, perfect-shaped ones that will give off waves of energy. You must pick from here if you want the best. But before you pick them, you should dam the stream if you want to govern the water.”
“I see your point and will put the nuts right to work in a quick jiffy,” said the Hatter, loving his role as the supreme leader.
The nuts didn’t mind working nonstop all day as it was fun for them. Working was magical, and they waited for directions from their leader.
“Right here would be a good spot,” said the green middle human. “Do you see how the earth could be moved from here to block this little channel over here?”
“Yes, I do,” said the Hatter. “It’s very nice of you to show me this; it will make the job much easier.”
The Hatter turned to the nuts and said, “I want you to turn into little bulldozers and push the soil here to stop the flow so we can control the water.” He pointed to an area where the stream narrowed to just a few feet of flow.
The nuts went right to work, getting their energy from somewhere unknown while trying to pinch the stream together and stop its flow for the Hatter, who now knew he would soon be the most powerful man in the valley.
The floating humans seemed to have just a slight expression of excitement on their faces, even though no one could see their joy inside.
Why would the Hatter be suspicious of the weird humans when everything was strange underground?
“Let’s go pick the nice crystals now,” said the green one seeming even more excited with the stream now dammed.
“Right you are,” said the Hatter, following the floating humans.
“Do you see the perfect one with the point on its end?” asked the green one motioning to the Hatter with only his face.
“I do see it, and it is magnificent. I will pluck it for my own,” said the Hatter.
The green one had eyes glowing as the Hatter kneeled to get the stone. He gave it a yank and heard a very load moan.
It was glowing brightly in the Hatter’s hands as he studied its beauty with all the glowing colors on his face once more.
“We must hurry to find your other two,” said the green one. “Over here is another perfect one. Do you see it at about arms-length in the pool?” he asked the Hatter.
“I do see it and it is even more magnificent than the first,” said the Hatter. He knelt and reached into the water, putting his hand on the crystal and gave it a yank. A sharp moan came from somewhere, but the crystal felt warm in his hand, and he disregarded the cry of pain.
“You must put that back, or you will kill the stream,” said a fish coming to the surface.
“Get back in the water, you selfish,” said the Hatter.
“You will kill us all,” said the fish.
“Shush your mouth,” said the Hatter. “You don’t know who you are talking to, and anyone could assure you that I am more learned than yourself.”
The Hatter put the stone in his pocket and asked the threesome where the next crystal lay.
“It is over on this side of the creek, and you must be quick about it,” said the floating humans all together.
The Hatter walked his fastest pace and followed the floater to a spot. “If you want this one, you are going to have to dive for it, because it is deep, but the best one of the lot.”
“I might could dive for it; I’m not sure.” The Hatter stripped his coat with the stones inside and tested the water. It felt the perfect temperature, and he slipped himself completely under the great bath. Deeply he dove until he came right up to the most magnificent stone.
“It is mine,” he said to himself as he reached to pluck it from the bottom. The fish gathered around him in great despair doing anything they could to make him realize his error, but he yanked and the moan was deafening this time. He disregarded the cry and swam to the surface.
“I have a pouch for every stone for a present to you, Mr. Hatter, because you did such a wonderful job. Just place them in the pouch around our necks, and you will have done more to get even with the valley than you know.”
“But you will have them then, and I want these stones.”
“No, the pouches are for you; we don’t have arms and hands to fit them inside.”
“You poor thing with no arms. Can I get them from you after I place them?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t be able to stop you with no arms.”
The Hatter placed a stone in the pouch held by the blueish green human.
“Very good of you, Mr. Hatter,” said the blue human rolling his eyes and talking for the first time on his own.
Then the Hatter moved to the red green human and pulled out the biggest and most beautiful stone.
“Not that one,” said the green one. “It is mine. I mean that goes in this bigger pouch.”
The Hatter got increasingly suspicious and said, “These are all mine, you know.”
“I do know, and I’m so happy to help you by giving you these nice pouches.”
The Hatter slid it inside the pouch but almost felt he had done something wrong.
“Now for you, red,” said the Hatter pulling out the final stone. He dropped it inside the pouch and said, “Now let me have them.”
For the first time, the three humans stood there laughing, then got very serious. “You are finished, Mr. Hatter; your energy will leave you in seconds. You fool! You killed the magical stream that gave all of you your energy, but because we have these crystals, we have energy for eternity.” They all started to laugh again, and soon thereafter the glow left the stream.
“We are dying,” said one of the fishes who came to the surface.
The nuts had just finished damming the stream and turned to call the Hatter for more orders when they lost their depth dimension and fell to the ground like leaves. They tried to scream, but their energy was all too low, and they soon looked like pages in a book lying on the ground.
The Hatter watched Whistle Head get flat and fall to the ground. The Whatyoucallit soon took on the shape of a doormat and fell. The Hatter had fear in his heart for the first time in his life. “I am not a cartoon,” he said to the floating humans, “and I will fight back and smite you where it hurts.”
The floaters laughed again and the green one said, “We are not humans either and would enjoy a fight with you, Mr. Hatter, because it would be like child’s play.” Their clothes soon fell to the ground and a great snake body uncurled and slapped the Hatter in the face.
The Hatter tumbled to the ground and started to cry. “I have screwed up the whole world.”
The snake completely unfurled and showed that it had three heads with necks that met at the main body part.
The Hatter let out a yell and cried, “What are you, a devil?”
“You are close to being right, Mr. Hatter, but you can call us Trident. Don’t worry, we have no desire to eat you so lie back, relax, and enjoy the last few days of your life.”
The snake’s faces were close to the same look as the human faces, but the clothes hid the fact they had no chins and could unhinge their jaws and swallo
w huge prey.
The Hatter lay on the ground and muttered, “What have I done?” He didn’t have the energy to move.
Back in the village, there was much dissension that the professor was not being punished properly in most citizen’s eyes. This idea was mostly voiced by the Grinch and Humpty Dumpty who had anger in their hearts for the way their loved ones were treated.
“I think he should take the sled ride off the north side,” said the Grinch with Humpty being close to agreeing with him. But suddenly the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe ran up and said, “The fountain! The fountain!”
“What about the fountain?” asked Mayor Humpty Dumpty.
“It has stopped flowing.”
“What did you say?” Humpty got to his feet and moved toward the fountain.
“There is no water flowing anymore, and I’m just starting to feel the pain,” said the Old Woman.
When Humpty got close, he said, “You are right; it stopped flowing. We could all die in a day or two. Does anyone have an idea?” shouted Humpty to a small crowd now circling the fountain.
“We should go to its source and see what has happened,” said Popeye, as he started to stumble and then lost his depth dimension and fell to the ground like a piece of paper.
Humpty gasped and said, “We must find out what has happened to the water. We need someone to go deep into the mountain and search the catacombs before we all die.”
Bullwinkle said, “We need to hurry.” And then poof, he got two-dimensional and fell to the ground like a piece of paper. Then all the cartoons got flat and fell where they stood and suddenly the citizens who weren’t cartoons began feeling pain and lying on the ground.
“You should help us,” said Humpty in a prone position, lying next to the fountain, to the stars who were not feeling any more pain than usual.
“How can we help?”