by Kari Shuey
Movement in the window drew her gaze as she saw a car pulling into the property. Gavin must have decided to come back for something. Hastily, Abby dropped the envelope she’d inadvertently picked up and started to walk out of the room. That was when she noticed an almost imperceptible stain on the floor. She’d seen stains like that before in her line of work. Blood was one of the hardest things to remove from carpet. Most of the time, the owners were recommended to replace it entirely. The longer the blood soaked into the carpet played a big part in the difficulty of the stain being removed – even by the hands of a professional cleaner. By the looks of it, the professional tasked with this particular stain did a fantastic job… but the faint mark would likely remain forever.
Realizing she’d remained in his room too long, Abby swiftly made her exit and walked the opposite way from the entrance of the house. From there, she spun on her heel and focused on returning to the kitchen to finish the dishes she’d left half completed. That was when Gavin opened the door. They startled each other, she not expecting the door to open at the moment she passed it – and he not anticipating he might collide with her upon entering.
A smile spread across his face. “Well, hello beautiful. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”
Abby tried to ignore the tingle of danger she felt crawling up her spine. There was just something about finding that envelope that made the alarms within her go off. His obvious talent for reading people clued him into her wariness.
The handful of documents and folders in his hand forgotten, Gavin put them down and walked over to Abby. “What’s wrong. Has something happened? Do I need to get Windsor in here?” He reached out to touch her arms or hold her hands.
Abby jerked away but forced a smile. “No!” Then more calmly, “No, I’m covered in cleaning supplies and dust. You don’t want to have to wash your hands. Nothing is wrong.”
Gavin stared at her, boring a hole into her head, attempting to read her thoughts. Abby looked away. Gavin was not the man he was leading her to believe. He had some kind of secret. Abby tried to rationalize that it could be some kind of misunderstanding. What if the letter wasn’t to him, but he opened it on accident? Maybe it was a nickname?
But still, that instinct Abby was feeling to stay alert put her on edge. And that part of her was coming up with all sorts of conspiracy theories. Abby, her conscience whispered to herself, he’s hiding something he did in California and now he’s making a fresh start. It could be something as simple as a stolen identity… but you know what it is. Deep down you know, he probably committed some kind of crime – and got mixed up with the wrong crowd. Even if he isn’t a murderer, Amara was more than likely killed due to something or someone he was involved with. Sure, his life while working in the security business has been public knowledge, but who was he before? Her chest felt tight and Abby wanted to put more distance between them.
Abby held up her hands and tried to appear nonchalant. “I better get back to the dishes.” She turned away from him and as she neared the sink, she yelled over her shoulder, “Oh, and garbage will be picked up within the next hour, so it’s a good thing you came home. Bring it out for me?”
She made it to the kitchen without giving herself away, she lied to herself. Deep down she knew he had figured something out. Gavin had read her like a book and he would be on high alert to get every detail. Abby focused on taking deep breaths and finish her chores. She heard Gavin go into his office, come back out, and head into the kitchen. His footsteps seemed louder, heavier.
***
Gavin had been at the office for only a matter of hours before he’d realized he left a file at home he needed for one of his clients today. He would be meeting with another large company to inquire if Securitech would be a good match for their security needs. Having done research on their company and noticing a few flaws in their current system, he was confident they would choose to sign a new contract with his business.
Taking an early break, he drove home to retrieve the documents. It was nice he didn’t live too far from his company, and he was looking forward to seeing Abby today. Even the chance meetings he got to have in the middle of the week brightened his day. She was an absolute breath of fresh air. Often busy, unable to spare a moment… but happy. Sometimes he would catch her singing to a song she put on or dancing around while she dusted. He supposed when you got to work without the world watching you could be more free.
He pulled into the circular driveway and skipped up the steps to the front door. Upon opening, he almost bumped into Abby. Surprise and joy flooded his entire being. But the look on her face stopped him dead in his tracks. Something was wrong. It didn’t matter that she refused to tell him, she had encountered something today that made her appear almost fearful of him. What on earth could have spooked her so easily when they were making such progress on their relationship? She refused to let him touch her, and he could tell she didn’t want to spend even one second in his presence.
She made some excuse about dishes and practically ran away. Concern and frustration replaced the joy he had just experienced. He would need to get her to open up if they were to get past this hurdle. Keeping a secret from him would only hurt their relationship. Realizing how hypocritical he was being, Gavin pushed away the guilt he felt about his own secrets. He made his way to his office and opened his filing cabinet. The document he needed was right where he had left it. Almost forgetting the trashcan, Gavin picked up the plastic bag inside and tied it off. Then he left the room and returned to the kitchen.
Putting the bag down next to the larger kitchen garbage bag that was already out, he forced himself not to jump to conclusions. An elbow was propped up on the counter and he leaned his side against it to take in Abby’s body language. She was uncomfortable around him right now. She didn’t want to make eye contact, and she was not in the cheerful mood that she normally erupted with.
“You know I know something is off, right?”
She didn’t respond.
“And you might as well tell me now, because you know I will figure it out.”
Silence.
“Abby.” Louder. “Abby!”
She looked up at him.
“Just say something, anything. What is going on with you today?”
“Nothing, Gavin. I’m just not feeling like myself today. Why can’t you accept that not even I can be happy all the time? Sometimes you just need to have a bad day.”
“That’s a lie and we both know it,” he sighed. “Stay in denial all you want, Abby. But I will figure this out, and there’s probably a simple explanation for whatever you are feeling. We will be able to work it out.” Gavin tapped his folders on the counter, signaling his departure. “See you tonight.”
Walking to the door, Gavin felt a strong urge to march back into that kitchen and give her a piece of his mind. He didn’t like playing the waiting game. He’d done that so much since meeting Abby that he was getting sick of it. He wanted an open dialogue between them, needed it so they could get stronger. Maybe if he knew he could trust her, and that she would love him no matter what was in his past… Love? Did he want that? Could he honestly say he wanted to feel that kind of attachment for her? Wasn’t it too soon? That romantic part of him told him if he wanted to love her, he could. There are no rules when it comes to love. They’d only been dating for half a week and he knew already his feelings were strong. But Love? Gavin shook his head and climbed into his car.
If there was one thing he knew about Abby right now, it would be that he needed to keep that part of his thoughts a secret. She wouldn’t be ready for that any time soon. He picked up his phone and dialed Windsor’s number. He answered with a grunt.
“Windsor, something is going on with Abby today. I want you to keep an eye on her – more than usual. I don’t know what happened but… she’s just not acting like herself. Do you think you can do that?”
Windsor was quiet on the other end. “With all due respect, sir, I think you need to leave this one al
one. If she decides to pull away, let her. She’ll probably be safer that way…”
“Look, I didn’t ask for your advice or opinion. I asked you to watch her. If she leaves, you might follow her. Do what I hired you for.” Gavin hung up. His frustration was eating at him and though he felt the guilt start to cloud his thoughts, he pushed it away as his worry for Abby drifted to the irrational.
To make matters worse, now he would be completely distracted for his meeting today. Maybe he should just reschedule. He knew he couldn’t and attempted to clear his head. One meeting. And then he would come back home and talk to Abby about what was obviously bothering her.
Chapter 16
Abby exhaled when she heard the car pull away. Normally she wouldn’t jump to conclusions over something so trivial, why was she feeling the need to protect herself? This didn’t make sense to her. Would she go so far to subconsciously sabotage a blossoming relationship?
I mean, I chose to work for the guy before I knew anything about him… why should this matter so much? But she knew why it mattered. She believed human beings in their very nature could sense when something was not right. Often times, they could feel when they were in a threatening situation and prepare for the worst. It was that quiet awareness that triggered her inability to feel comfortable in her own skin.
Unfortunately, she didn’t have any grounds to do anything about it. People can change their names whenever they want for whatever reason they want. Just because he had a different name in the past didn’t warrant her going to the authorities. And she definitely wasn’t going to confront Gavin about it. What would she say? “Hi Gavin! By the way, I broke your biggest rule and went into your office. It’s okay though, because now I know you’re hiding something and it’s not fair to pull me into this relationship with you if you are going to keep things from me.” The absurdity of what a conversation like that would be, only flustered her further.
Abby looked at the clock. He would come home from work in a few hours. If she played the avoidance game, he’d likely force a conversation. But if she could practice a nonchalant demeanor, maybe he’d believe her and leave her alone. She needed time to think. There was a small part of her that wanted to just forget she saw the envelope in the first place and let everything stay the same. And she’d try to give it a shot.
A few hours later, Gavin arrived home. Abby took a deep breath and calmed her thoughts. She attempted a big smile when he walked in the door. “You’re home a little earlier than usual. Did your day get better?”
He suspiciously furrowed his brow when he looked at her. “No, not particularly.”
“I’m sorry. I hope it gets better this week.” Abby turned back to the recipe card she was holding. She was planning on cooking something simple so she could retreat to her room. The meal she originally wanted to make required her to go shopping to get some ingredients, but she didn’t want to give Gavin any reason to suspect she was avoiding him. Ultimately, she decided on the parmesan crusted chicken she had fixed for him on the first night she’d cooked him dinner.
Gavin took off his suit jacket and draped it over a chair nearby. He loosened the tie around his neck and pulled it off, also draping it over the chair. Reaching for his wrists, he started unbuttoning his sleeves and gently rolled them up to his elbows. He came around the island, so he was within a few feet of her. She fought the instinct to get nervous. He’d been respectful of her so far, what did she have to fear?
“Miss Russell, I believe we have an unfinished conversation.” He leaned up against the island, arms folded and gazed at her unwaveringly. “Are you ready to talk to me?”
His use of her more formal name rubbed her the wrong way. She felt like she was being chastised for something. And maybe she was. But the way he said it irritated her. Swallowing down the frustration she was feeling due to all the competing emotions, she chose mind over matter and focused on what was important.
“Talk to you about what? I was just having an off day. It’s no big deal, really.” Abby put down her recipe card and faced him. “Honestly, I’m fine.”
Gavin studied her, and she looked away. She wouldn’t allow him to read her again, if she had anything to do about it. But she wasn’t prepared for him to reach out to her. It took only moments for her to lose her steady presence in front of him. As he unfolded his arms and raised his hand to touch her cheek, she flinched. It may have been small but she could tell he noticed the withdrawal.
She looked at him from under her lashes to gauge his reaction. It was no surprise that his expression darkened. If she had gotten to know Gavin as well as she’d like to think… she knew he would persist until he knew what she was upset about. There would be no way around it. But at this time, she wasn’t ready to tell him anything.
***
Gavin walked in the door ready for a confrontation. He knew Abby well enough by now that he was convinced he’d get her to open up. Mark his words, tonight they would get over this hurdle and move forward.
Not ready to leave her alone to change fully, he approached her carefully. Wanting to show her he wasn’t a threat, he attempted to look relaxed and play along with her small talk. She claimed she was fine and that the day had just been a hard one. But he could tell she wasn’t being honest. Testing his theory, he reached out to caress her cheek… and was hurt when she withdrew. Even before they had started this relationship – if you could call it that – she never reacted like that.
An angry emotion started to boil in his stomach. Scowling, he dropped his hand to his side. “You’re lying.”
“I told you, I’m fine. I just need to make some dinner and go to bed. Maybe I am just tired.”
“Miss Russell, I’d like to think you know me better than that. First, I know when you are tired, and I can assure you that exhaustion is not what ails you. Second, your behavior is such that it demonstrates a disgust or fear more than anything else.” Gavin looked at his hands, flexing them and shoving them in his pockets. Meeting her eyes once again, he continued. “Have I done something to hurt you? Or might I have caused you to fear me some other way?”
He watched her sad eyes fill with some kind of acknowledgment. He was getting closer. Yet, she shook her head and folded her arms. “Don’t worry about it, Gavin.”
Exasperated, Gavin held out his hands in front of him again, pleading. “Oh, come on. There is absolutely no reason for you to avoid this conversation. Really, Abby, I’m trying here. Give me something… anything.” He moved close to her again. “Help me out here,” he whispered.
Abby shook her head. She wasn’t willing to look at him anymore.
He’d lost his patience. He took both her arms in his hands and held her firmly. “Abby, look at me. Just tell me what it is. I can’t fix this if I don’t know what the problem is.”
He didn’t expect her to react so vehemently. “Mr. Saxe. I would like you to please release me.” She spoke through gritted teeth and rather than pull away she waited for him to comply.
Gavin let her go as if she were on fire. She might as well have been. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, embarrassed. He took a few steps away and rubbed his face with his hands. There was no getting through to her by force, and he wasn’t comfortable using physical dominance anyway. She deserved his respect in that matter.
Allowing his scowl to return, he tried to come up with something to say that would let her know where he stood. He could think of nothing. He turned away and rubbed the back of his neck. “So be it,” he muttered. “I’m here to talk when you’re ready.” He stalked off leaving her to herself. He left the room, not knowing where to go. Gavin had a lot of steam to burn off but no way to do it and it was messing with his ability to remain calm. He’d not worked so hard to win her over only to have the rug pulled out from under him in one afternoon.
He vented aloud to himself. Arguing that this wasn’t fair to him and he deserved her respect – which she wasn’t giving him. He’d done nothing to her and needed to be treated with the care he had
bestowed on her. But all this mental venting did nothing to improve his spirits. He found himself outside in the nipping air. As he paced back and forth, he once again tried to figure out where he went wrong. The problem was, as he racked his brain over and over he could find nothing.
On impulse, he picked up a rock near his foot and threw it as hard as he could. It went sailing through the air and over the fence protecting his property. The physical release helped, and he found a few more stones. Eventually, he settled on the porch. His knees propped up, he rested his elbows on them and put his head in his hands. He could think of only a handful of moments in his life when he felt this helpless. He was a fixer by nature and could often find a solution to any problem. Just not this one.
***
Abby didn’t like being held by Gavin that way. Though his grip was not tight enough to cause pain, it reminded her just how weak she was. If he wanted to really hurt her, he wouldn’t have any trouble doing so. Relief washed over her when he listened and immediately let her go. She watched his frustration build and wondered if it was worth keeping this information to herself. Still on the fence, she simply observed him deal with his frustration. He had made a good point. Respect was one thing she wasn’t giving him right now. The relationship they were in was solidified enough she needed to give him something. He needed a chance to tell her what was going on.
After he left the house, she quietly observed him from the window. Guilt was ever-present as she witnessed his struggle. When he finally ran out of energy and sat down, Abby had made up her mind. She needed to talk to him. If this was bothering her, she needed to air it out. If she could get over it, then she needed to start acting like it didn’t matter and stop flinching every time he came close.
She grabbed her coat and went out the front door. His head lifted but he didn’t turn toward her. Hugging the coat tighter, she gingerly crossed the patio and settled down next to him. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re right. I wasn’t being honest with you and you deserve better than that.”