by Aviva Gat
“We don’t have much time,” Jane urged the agents as they headed out the door. “You need to find the guy before the reelection campaign launch next month. We can’t have this clouding the event or the campaign. It will be hard enough to prove Madeline’s success last time wasn’t just a fluke. We need to make sure she wins again.”
The agents nodded politely and assured Jane that this case would be their top priority until it was solved. They needn’t worry, they needn’t do anything differently except keep their eyes open for any suspicious activities. By the time the agents got in their car and drove away, it was getting dark. Jane stood at their doorway unsure of her place in this new reality.
“Maybe we jumped the ball on announcing the SAVER Bill,” Jane said. “It’s too controversial right now, with everything going on. And of course with the upcoming election.” Her statement was met with silence from the couple, who was standing in the doorway with their arms around each other’s backs. Brandon was rubbing Madeline’s shoulder in the calming way he did when he sensed that Madeline was stressed. Madeline focused on the sensation while smiling to her chief of staff.
“The bill is important,” Madeline responded. “Especially now. Maybe I’m getting new enemies because of it. But I think the public, the voters, like it. I think they see the benefit and they will support me because if it.”
“I just hope they get the chance to show you support come Election Day,” Jane responded with a sigh. “I’m sure the agents know what they are doing.”
“I’m sure they do,” Brandon concluded, inching back into the house. Jane understood the signal and said goodbye, forcing Madeline to promise that tomorrow she would be back to work so they could start lobbying for the SAVER Bill. She had phone calls scheduled with senators who were likely allies on the bill and she would need to fly back to Washington this week for in person meetings with others who would need a little more incentive to support her. Brandon kissed Madeline’s forehead as Jane finally left. Then he gently closed the door.
Chapter 5
“You are not going to believe what I heard last night,” Jane whispered to Madeline after the plane had reached cruising altitude. The two of them were sitting first class on a red eye to Washington DC. Madeline was tired, ready to close her eyes for the six-hour flight when Jane started talking.
It had been a long day, made even longer by the fact that Madeline had barely been able to sleep the night before. After receiving the letter and spending the day with the FBI agents, Madeline couldn’t stop the wheels in her head from turning. That evening, after the children went to bed and Molly the nanny retired to her apartment, Brandon had opened a bottle of wine trying to ease the tension that had filled the air. They sipped the wine silently on the couch together, trying to have a normal conversation. How was your day? Madeline tried to ask, hoping Brandon would have something to tell her. Maybe something about work, about his board meeting, but Brandon just smiled and responded Not as rough as yours. Then they spoke about the children and Madeline told Brandon about her morning with Noah at the coffee shop. That conversation seemed to lift his spirits and with that, they corked their wine and went to bed. Madeline had spent the night tossing and turning until light shone through their window and she could get up. She tiptoed downstairs to their home gym, where she ran on their treadmill for an hour before going back upstairs to shower and head to the office, all before Brandon and the children were awake.
At the office, Madeline had immediately started making phone calls. She liked getting up and starting her day early, Brandon even joked with her that she lived on “East Coast time” when in California. It was convenient for her, meaning that at 6:00 am, when most people on the West Coast were still in bed, Madeline could be in meetings with her colleagues on the East Coast where it was already 9:00 am. She had spoken with three other senators who supported the SAVER Bill all before Jane had arrived at the office. Jane’s arrival was like a hurricane, disrupting the calming morning that Madeline had had. But the disruption was necessary, as no one was a better chief of staff than Jane. She could juggle events, crises, constituents, and Madeline’s schedule with her two hands and not one thing would fall to the floor.
Madeline had then spent the day in strategy sessions with her team who had analyzed the chances and the necessary moves to pass the SAVER Bill. She had lunch with a group of CEOs who supported her and spent the afternoon reviewing and redlining speeches that she believed should have been in better shape by the time they reached her office. After a quick trip home to have dinner with Brandon and the kids, she was picked up by a car taking her to the airport for her red eye to Washington where she would finish the week.
“What did you hear last night?” Madeline responded to Jane who was looking at her like a child with a secret ready to burst out.
Jane looked around the first-class cabin. It was mostly empty as most business and first-class passengers seemed to avoid redeyes. Madeline preferred them, they seemed the most efficient use of her time, ensuring she didn’t waste any working hours. Jane leaned in closer to Madeline before parting her lips.
“Someone is vetting you for Vice President,” Jane whispered, the words leaving her lips like bubbles floating into the air.
“What? Who?”
“I’m not sure yet,” Jane responded. “I have to do some asking around.”
“Then how do you know?”
“Someone is polling about you,” Jane said. “My neighbor’s grandma, she always gets those telemarketer calls where they ask surveys about all kinds of things and she answers. Most people who answer the surveys are the elderly, you know, because who else wants to waste time talking to a stranger? Anyway, she got a survey about different politicians and whether she would vote for them. They asked about you, Mark Raymond, Kent Fein, and Jim Holloway. Mark and Kent and Jim have all been open about their interest in running for president in the next election. That means someone is trying to find out which candidates people like and which could help them win. Someone either thinks you might run for president and thinks you’re competition or they think you could help them win if you are on their ticket. I’m not sure anyone would expect you to run for president. I mean, you’re a 38-year-old first term female senator. You’d be one of the youngest candidates yet! So that means someone thinks you are a potential vice.”
Madeline’s heart rippled with the thought of running for vice president. She had always hoped that being a senator was just a step for her, a way for her to prove her worth as she moved on to a bigger platform where she could effectuate bigger change. She had always known she was meant to leave her mark on this world, that she could make the country better, the world better. Being vice president would give her more opportunities to do that.
“So now what?” Madeline asked Jane, her eyes closing but her ears still very much awake.
“Well, I’m going to find out who it is,” Jane responded. “We’re going to do whatever we can to make sure you are chosen as a running mate. I mean, whoever it is, you will up their chances to win hugely. For one, you’re a woman, so many women would vote for you just because. Two, you’re young and beautiful. And let’s not underestimate the importance of looks in politics. No one can forget the 1960 presidential election. Kennedy won on looks alone! And on top of all that, you’re moderate, even liberal if I am allowed to use the ‘L’ word to describe a republican. You’ll get all the undecideds and even central democrats on your side. Wow, the more I talk, the more I’m convinced you should be president. Why waste you being the vice of some old white man?”
“All in good time,” Madeline said with a smile. It was too early for her to think about the presidency. She needed a few more years, a few more accomplishments to ensure her candidacy was a shoo-in. She wouldn’t run unless she knew she could win. If she ran and lost, that was the end. Losers never turn into winners. She needed to wait until she was sure she was a winner.
“I wonder if it is Joe Hamlin who was vetting you, or Be
n Townsend,” Jane continued rambling on. “When Ben was out in the last primaries he swore to run again…” Eventually Madeline dozed even with Jane’s train of thought chugging through her ears.
But sleep did not provide Madeline with an escape. In her dream she found herself in a hotel room. She wasn’t alone and she could feel herself aching to be touched by the man in the room with her. In her mind, she knew the man was Brandon, but he didn’t look like Brandon. He did in some ways, but not in others. There was something different about him. She let the man kiss her passionately and push her back onto the bed where they gripped each other’s clothes. She felt herself wanting this man more and more, this man who was Brandon, but also wasn’t. When her desire couldn’t be stronger, she pushed the man over onto his back and slipped on top of him. Relief fled through her with every thrust as she and the man devoured each other grasping at each other’s skin, pulling each other close. When they finished, Madeline snuggled into the man’s arms and felt calm. She hadn’t cheated, this man was Brandon on some level, even though the sex didn’t feel like it was with Brandon.
Madeline was jolted awake suddenly as the plane hit the ground. She followed Jane off the plane to the tarmac where a car was waiting to take them to the Capitol. Madeline was silent, even as Jane spoke about their plans for the trip. She would be needed on the senate floor, there would be a vote on a budget earmark that had already passed in the House of Representatives. Lunch was planned with the Liberty Caucus, a group of other moderate republican senators, and she would be greeting a school group that was visiting Washington from California.
Madeline was shaken from her dream. Over the last years, she hadn’t considered herself much of a sexual person. Of course she had sex, enjoyed it, even wanted it sometimes, but the desire she had in her dream was a desire she hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since… well, not since mothering two children while trying to pursue her own ambitions in her career. But that was normal, right?
“Yoo-hoo, are you there, Madeline?” Jane said. Their car was stopped in front of the Capitol and Jane was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Madeline to get out. “We’ve got to go, they’re already giving speeches on the senate floor. You promised Senator Copper you would be there.”
Madeline shook herself out of her mind and jumped out of the car. Focus, she told herself. You need to stay focused.
Chapter 6
After a few long days in Washington, Madeline returned home to California. She came back late that Friday night, after the kids had already gone to sleep. But Brandon hadn’t. When Madeline walked in the door he was sitting with his laptop on the couch, feet up, his reading glasses halfway down his nose and one hand cupping his chin. Madeline loved seeing Brandon with his reading glasses in this thinking pose. It made him look sophisticated, like if he thought hard enough he could solve every problem, from how to fix a broken hair dryer to ensuring peace in the Middle East. He didn’t look up when Madeline walked in the living room. Instead he dropped the hand from his chin and started typing away on the keyboard. Madeline watched him for a moment, before approaching the couch and gently moving his legs so she could sit down next to him.
“One sec,” Brandon said without looking up. His fingers continued to type at a speed that surely could have been record breaking. “There,” he concluded pressing hard on the last key before looking up at Madeline. “Just going through the quarterly reports.”
A few months ago, Brandon’s company CyTech had gone public. It was a huge step for the company and was considered a huge success. Within hours the stock price had doubled and since then it had been steadily rising. Being the CEO of a public company, however, was much more work than running a private company. If Brandon hadn’t been busy enough before the IPO, he now had to deal with investors, boards and constant reporting to the SEC. “Anything interesting?” Madeline asked, peeking over to the screen.
“Brick wall,” Brandon joked as he closed his laptop. He was right, they were obligated to keep certain parts of their professional lives separate so as to avoid allegations of insider trading and other influences that could be less than ethical. “How was DC? Missed you.” Brandon turned his body so that he was sitting next to Madeline and kissed her on the lips. Madeline’s mind wandered back to the dream she had on the flight a few days before. She kissed her husband back, turning the kiss that would have been a short peck into a longer embrace. She caught his bottom lip and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Brandon immediately reacted and shifted his body further so that he could wrap his arms around Madeline’s upper back. He mirrored her movements with his lips and he let out a little moan. “Madeline,” he said. “I really missed you.”
Madeline began to kiss her husband harder and she slipped her hands under the ratty t-shirt he was wearing. Brandon moved his hands down by her waist and started touching her all over. He pushed into her, closing the small gap that was still between their bodies. As they kissed, Madeline waited for the desire she had felt in her dream to come. She wanted to feel young again, excited, full of the anticipation between young lovers.
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” Brandon offered, slowly standing up as they continued to kiss. They walked up their stairs together, Brandon behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, still kissing her around her neck. When they got to the bedroom, he quietly closed the door, careful not to wake the boys, and pulled his shirt over his head. Madeline looked at his body. It hadn’t changed much in the 13 years they had been together. He wasn’t athletic, or fit, but his body was tight and hadn’t gained the pudge that many of their peers had started to carry around. “Take off your clothes.”
Madeline was still wearing the same clothes she had worn to the Senate hearings that day. A navy-blue skirt suit with a white blouse. She started unbuttoning the blouse and hung it up in her closet as Brandon watched her. His eyes made her slightly uncomfortable even though he had seen her naked countless times. But this time felt different, he looked at her like a teenager about to lose his virginity, or a hungry wolf who had cornered his prey. She then unzipped her skirt and pulled down her stockings, just as Brandon embraced her. He continued to kiss her hard and Madeline kissed him back, still waiting for the desire, the passion, to come. They lay down on the bed and Brandon’s hand wandered down on her. Then, he got on top of her and began making love to her. “You’re so beautiful,” he said. “I can’t believe I am so lucky to have such an amazing wife.”
Madeline smiled and continued moving in their rhythm and kissing her husband. When she was tired of having sex, she told him she was about to orgasm and then a few moments later let out a small whimper, a sigh and held Brandon tight in her. She knew he would believe she came and that by itself would make him come seconds later. When he finished he rolled next to her. “Oh my God,” he said. “That was amazing. How was it for you?”
“Great,” Madeline responded, giving him an assuring smile. Inside she was disappointed in herself. Why didn’t her body surge with desire for her husband? Her husband who was so perfect, so good looking, and treated her so well? Why didn’t his touch make her feel electricity?
Unfortunately, this lack of desire wasn’t new for Madeline. As she lay curled in Brandon’s arms she thought about the first time they had sex. It was right after she moved to California to be with him. The first few nights she spent in his—their—apartment, the two of them stayed up all night talking. They kissed passionately, and even rolled around in the bed together, but they took it slow physically. After almost a week, when Madeline was dying to take the relationship to the next step—and she was sure that Brandon was too—they finally did it.
When it started, Madeline was full of desire, full of wanting Brandon to touch her everywhere, to have him deep inside her. But once it started, Madeline’s body quickly recoiled. Brandon moved in his own rhythm, completely out of sync with Madeline. He seemed oblivious to movements and Madeline quickly felt like sex was a battle between each of them trying to get what they want, r
ather than the two of them trying to reach something together. When it was over, she told herself it was normal, not everyone has great sex from the beginning, that she could teach him to meet her desires, that sex would improve with time. This was definitely not symbolic of anything else in their relationship, she assured herself.
The second time they had sex was much like the first and Madeline again was left feeling disappointed and unsatisfied. She faked her satisfaction to end it quicker and pretended that everything in their relationship was perfect. Because, for the most part, it was. Wasn’t it? Besides the sex, everything with Brandon was perfect. He was a gentleman, he was ambitious, thoughtful, intelligent. He was everything Madeline had ever wanted in a man, except for when they were naked. But that wasn’t a big deal, was it? No relationship was perfect. Madeline decided this was a problem she could live with and one that would surely improve over the years.
She was right. Over the years it did improve. She learned to tell Brandon what she liked and what she didn’t like, even when it had confused him since, in his mind, she had been orgasming from the things she didn’t like for years. She trained him on how to touch her, how to move with her and how to sense her feelings. Brandon was eager to please and took direction well. He did exactly what she said and was proud of himself when Madeline actually did orgasm with him. But even so, even with Brandon completely changing the way he made love, Madeline still didn’t feel a burning desire for him. She sometimes enjoyed sex, sometimes wanted it, but she hadn’t longed for Brandon as she had for others in her past. But that wasn’t important, she told herself. Because passion fades with time anyway. It’s better to be married to someone who has everything else than to marry someone for passion.