by Aviva Gat
When the clock ticked towards when the boys’ school let out, Brandon and Madeline silently made their way into Brandon’s car. They always took his car when they drove as a family. It was an unspoken rule for no particular reason other than Brandon preferred to drive. Madeline’s car had less mileage, was cleaner, maybe it was even a little roomier, but as a family, they traveled in Brandon’s car. As they drove to the school, Madeline felt like Dorothy, waking up in the land of Oz. Something was different about the neighborhood, the streets they drove through. It took her a moment to notice what it was. At first, all she saw was a small square on someone’s lawn. They drove past it before she could see what it was. There wasn’t another square for a few more minutes, but this time, Madeline’s eyes caught it before they drove past. Austin for Senate. There were already signs in people’s front lawns. Not many, but enough to make Madeline wonder where her signs were. She quickly pulled out her phone and texted Jane. Need to move up the campaign relaunch. Already behind.
They arrived at the school right behind Mrs. Albertson, whose car’s rear window had already been painted advertising Madeline’s adversary. Madeline watched as Mrs. Albertson parked and got out of her car, wearing a blue t-shirt with Austin for Senate on it and giant red sparkly earrings that looked more like party favors than jewelry. Madeline let out a sigh before she and Brandon shared a look. The couple got out of their car and walked towards the school entrance where other parents were already waiting. A few kids had drizzled out, but the bell had yet to ring.
“Madeline!” Mrs. Albertson said. “I guess you heard the news.” Madeline acknowledged her politely. “I’m volunteering with the campaign. It’s great for teaching our children about civic duty. We’ll be canvassing on the weekends.” Mrs. Albertson had a smug smile on her face and nodded her head vigorously. The bell rang and students began swarming out like bees from their hive in desperate search for honey. Brandon squeezed Madeline’s shoulder as they searched for their sons.
Soon Adam arrived and moments later Noah. The couple turned to their car, Brandon with the boys’ backpacks on his shoulders.
“May the best man win!” Madeline heard Mrs. Albertson call from behind her.
“Or woman,” She retorted, catching Mrs. Albertson’s eyes for just a moment before they pulled away from the crowd. With the boys buckled in the car, the Thomas family began the drive home.
“Mom, are you going to need to find a job?” Adam asked from the backseat. Madeline turned back, catching Brandon’s eyes for a moment before she did.
“I already have a job, sweetie,” she assured him, still facing backward. She recognized the concern in her son’s eyes. So young, but with such compassion for others. The kind of child who would make sure others had a cookie before he ate his own, who last year had asked to give away a few of his birthday presents to kids who had fewer toys than he did.
“Jamie said you’re about to lose your job,” Noah said. He was looking out the window, his tone bored and matter-of-fact.
“Jamie is wrong,” Madeline responded. She was still facing back at her boys, even though the craning made her neck ache. “Everything is going to be fine.” She sincerely hoped.
“Who wants to stop for ice cream?” Brandon suggested.
“Me!” Adam shouted. Noah still sat quietly looking out the window, but Madeline turned back forward. She faced forward just in time to see another Austin for Senate sign in somebody’s lawn.
“How can you be so sure?” Noah said. “Jamie said in a few weeks no one will even think you have a chance.”
“You believe Jamie over your mother?” Madeline peeked back again at Noah who shrugged as though pretending not to care.
“Why aren’t you two working today? Molly usually gets us.” Noah continued to speak in his monotone voice. Brandon pulled the car into a parking lot in front of a small strip mall with an ice cream shop.
“We wanted to spend the afternoon together,” Brandon responded.
“Because something bad is happening? Like mom losing her job?”
“I’m not losing my job.”
“Are you getting divorced then? Matt said his parents took him to get ice cream when they told him they were getting divorced.”
“We’re not getting divorced,” Brandon said as he put the car in park. “It’s just ice cream.” As the family got out of the car and walked toward the ice cream shop, Madeline had the strange feeling of being watched. Not by anyone in particular, but like she was in a fishbowl. As a public figure, she often felt this way, but something was different. She felt as though she were a mouse running through a maze as scientists nodded and analyzed her every move, wondering when she would mess up.
Over ice cream Madeline listened to Adam talk about a cricket he had found during recess. He wanted to keep it and had brought it into his classroom by hiding it under his shirt. He them snuck it into his lunch box, but sadly, the poor cricket had died by lunch time. But Adam had given him a proper burial under the flowers near the school’s administration building. Noah ate his ice cream silently, only speaking to make fun of his little brother’s story.
To Madeline, this time, sitting with her family, thinking about the poor cricket’s downfall, rather than her own, was a needed respite from what she had been going through. It reminded her that even with everything that was going on, she could still find joy. There was still meaning and love in her life even when they seemed missing from other parts.
After ice cream, the family headed home and back to their own lives—Brandon to his laptop and headphones on the couch, Adam to the yard with a basketball and a hoop, and Noah to his room with his video games. Madeline watched her family scatter, before going to her own spot, the kitchen table, where she would call Jane and discuss with her their response to Austin’s campaign launch. Surely the team had been working hard to come up with a plan. How she could beat him, how they needed to change her strategy. She had full confidence that her team’s brainpower could outsmart any other campaign staff’s. She was ready to go over plans with Jane, but it just wouldn’t happen that afternoon.
Instead, the doorbell rang. Madeline stood up to answer it, meeting Brandon at the front door. The couple opened the door to a UPS deliveryman who handed them a cardboard envelope. The deliveryman, who drove this route often but rarely stopped at the Thomas residence, smiled politely and greeted the couple a good day, not knowing the chaos he was handing them in that flat brown envelope.
Brandon followed Madeline into the kitchen to watch her open it, but when Madeline saw what was inside, she wished he hadn’t. She wished he would never see what was inside.
Chapter 23
For their honeymoon Madeline and Brandon had flown to Italy for a week. Their apartment was full of boxes from their registry—china sets, silverware, crystal bowls, enough serving utensils for the couple to host dinner parties every night for a week without washing a thing. Madeline had already finished handwriting more than 200 thank you cards that she had personalized for each guest (Salad tongs have always reminded me of you! It was lovely dancing together at the wedding! You looked stunning in your gown! You’ll have to tell me your secret!) and had dropped them off at the post office on their way to the airport.
They had their trip fully planned out—which hotels they would stay at, restaurants they had already reserved tables at, a cooking class where they would learn to make tortellini, tours of the Vatican, the Colosseum, a day trip to Pompeii, a walking tour of Rome. Days would be busy, so busy that by the evenings, Madeline was sure they would be exhausted. They would likely go straight to sleep without participating in the usual honeymoon activities in bed. Their honeymoon would be more cultured, it would enrich their knowledge of history and culinary skills. Of course, they would have sex a few times—how could they not? Madeline assumed that sex would happen on the first and fifth day of their trip: the first because it would be obligatory and the fifth because they were attending a wine tasting workshop that had promised to b
e romantic and aphrodisiacal. It just wouldn’t be right if they didn’t imbibe in intercourse afterwards.
On the way to Italy, they had a two-day stopover in New York. It would be their first trip to New York together. During their relationship, Madeline had flown across country a few times by herself—once for a YRNF event that she had spoken at, another time for a friend’s wedding, and another time on her way to visit her family upstate. Brandon had offered to join her on these trips, but since none were more than a weekend long, Madeline had suggested he didn’t trouble himself. The jetlag, missed work, it wasn’t worth it. Besides, Madeline would have more fun without needing to babysit him, she teased. After all, he wouldn’t know anyone at the wedding she was going to. The YRNF event would surely be boring, it wasn’t like the events the California chapter hosted. Each time Brandon obliged and kissed Madeline goodbye after driving her to the airport.
Madeline had enjoyed her short weekends away in New York. She met up with old friends and glowed as she told them stories of California sunshine. She recognized the jealousy in their eyes as they listened to her talk about Brandon and how wonderful life was with him. Talking had even convinced her how perfect Brandon and their life together was. During her trips, she had never contacted Hunter, nor did any of her friends bring him up. It was like he had never existed.
Madeline was excited for her first trip to New York with Brandon. She had promised to show him around Columbia and her old neighborhood. They would also spend time in Central Park and attend happy hour with her old friends. She was an excellent tour guide and Brandon was an even better tourist. Brandon had listened intently as she weaved through the university’s campus, telling stories of her memories. The quad where she would often read and once a bird pooped right on her book. The library cubicle she had fallen asleep in more than once. The statue she had once climbed and given a speech from during a rally for young republicans. She also showed him her old apartment, noticing that the small patch of dirt out front had been covered in grass. And she bought him a popsicle at the corner market where she had taken the kids from her downstairs neighbor.
Afterwards, they took the Subway down to Midtown to get drinks at a bar Madeline used to visit at least once a week. Her friends came, all hugging her and Brandon. Some had also just gotten back after being in California for their wedding. The ones who hadn’t, had never met Brandon before. One drink turned into two, which turned into four. Madeline and Brandon had both eased up on their rule of sipping one drink for an entire night. After all, this occasion was purely for fun—there was no need for professionality, no chance of running into people they needed to impress at that small dive.
“You’ve changed so much,” one of her friends—who hadn’t attended her wedding—casually mentioned. This was a friend who had known Hunter well when Madeline and he were together. A friend who had respected their relationship and treated Hunter as an equal. This friend didn’t mean much by the statement, didn’t mean to send Madeline’s head spiraling while trying to discern the statement’s meaning, but that was what happened. Was this friend accusing Madeline of something? Had she changed for the worse? For the better? Madeline just raised her almost empty glass to cheer her friend while shouting “To change!” as loud as she could. Her friend giggled, meeting her cheers and slurping down the rest of her happy hour drink.
After a few more rounds, Brandon and Madeline stumbled out of the bar and into a taxi back to their hotel. With his arm around her, Brandon nuzzled her neck and began a conversation that most couples would have had before their wedding.
“Your friends must really miss you,” he said, kissing her collarbone as the cab inched forward in evening rush hour.
“I miss them too,” she said, enjoying the kisses, but with ample hesitation of what they would bring later.
“You have a lot of good friends,” he continued and Madeline agreed. “Didn’t you ever date any of them?” Madeline had many male friends. An occupational hazard of working in consulting and being active in the Republican Party.
“No! Of course not!” Madeline giggled. “Who did you think I would have dated? Gabe? He’s a full head shorter than I am! Mark and his obsession with Star Wars?”
“What about Dan?” Brandon asked, bringing up another of her friends from the happy hour.
“Dan has been basically married since high school!” Madeline laughed and shook her head at the absurdity of her dating one of her friends.
“So you didn’t date anyone when you lived in New York?” Brandon asked, his digging turned from playful to more serious.
“Of course I dated!” Madeline responded, but quickly caught herself. “But no one serious. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. You know how New York is, everyone is so career-focused.”
Brandon had to agree. Everyone in New York seemed more focused on getting ahead than getting a family. Hell, most of Madeline’s friends (besides Dan) were single, married to their business suits and the corporate ladder.
“Let’s get pizza,” Madeline suggested and Brandon’s eyes lit up. He would love a slice of New York pizza, what the city was famous for. He was sure Madeline knew the best spot, as any local should. Madeline wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to tell Brandon about Hunter. She had never kept anything else from him. She had told him everything else about herself and her life, but something in her wanted to keep Hunter to herself. Was it embarrassment? Was it fear of what Brandon would think? Was it because she hadn’t truly let Hunter go? She was too drunk to know, so she brushed the thoughts aside and returned to the conversation about what made New York pizza so special and where to find the best pie in the city.
For the rest of their short trip in New York, Madeline felt haunted by Hunter. She was afraid they might run into him; New York sometimes felt like the smallest city on the planet. They had even run into a few people Madeline had known—someone she used to casually jog with in the park, the ex-boyfriend of her friend’s old roommate, but not Hunter.
She was relieved when they got on the flight to Italy. It would be the perfect honeymoon they had planned out so diligently. The kind that would be perfectly captured through pictures of them kissing as they tossed coins into the Trevi fountain or gorging over handmade pasta and aged red wine. The week in Italy went exactly as expected, even the trains they took between cities all seemed to run as close to on-time as possible. Madeline didn’t even think about Hunter once in the entire trip. She was too busy asking the tour guide questions about the acoustics at the Colosseum, or staring at their map to ensure they didn’t get lost.
On their flight back to LA, they stopped over in London with only an hour window between flights. The couple returned home looking refreshed and as in love as any newlyweds could be. They were now officially the power couple each of them had dreamed of being a part of. The world was in front of them and they were ready to help each other up to the top.
Chapter 24
“Were you attacked?” Brandon asked with the picture in his hands. After Madeline had opened the envelope, she had clutched it to her chest, hoping to bury it inside. Her grip only made Brandon more determined to see the contents of the envelope and he stood in front of her beckoning her to hand it over. She had no choice. She couldn’t refuse to show him—how would that end up? Yet showing him seemed like just as terrible of an option. If only she could make the picture disappear by holding it tighter to her chest, but eventually, she handed the picture over with her eyes down in shame.
Brandon studied the image, his face not knowing how to respond. To him it was like finding out your spouse was a mermaid before you met her, something so impossible that there must be some other explanation.
The image showed a white woman up against a door with a black man pressed up against her. The picture was taken from far away, through a window, but the image was unmistakable. It was an embrace—or an attack—and the woman was most definitely Madeline. Her profile was clearly visible, as was her perfectly styled hair. Seeing the pi
cture made Madeline’s chest warm as though she were still experiencing the moment the image had captured. The photo had clearly been taken the previous night when Hunter had followed her to her hotel room. Madeline knew this by the suit she was wearing.
Who took this picture? Was all Madeline could think. She was sure she wasn’t followed. Her team had done a security sweep of the Langham before she checked in and had monitored the hotel closely. How could anyone have seen her and Hunter together? Had someone been waiting in the nearby building? Watching for when she would come back? Could they have known she wouldn’t be alone?
“Do you want to tell me what this is?” Brandon continued, as though inviting Madeline to give a reasonable explanation. “Where was Jane? Security? Were you….were you raped?” Brandon whispered the last word as though saying it out loud would make it true.
Now, Madeline was in a tight position. She had kept Hunter a secret for the last thirteen years. She reasoned to herself that he just never came up, but that was because she never brought him up. It wasn’t until this moment that her omission felt like a lie. When her omission had no consequences, it didn’t seem like a betrayal. Why should Brandon care that she had been in love before? But now, with her previous love being accused of rape by her husband, her omission felt sinful.
Madeline looked at Brandon, her eyes begging for understanding, for a sign of how she should approach this situation. Should she tell Brandon everything? Should she tell him half of the story? Should she continue to feign innocence? Her mind quickly began turning, reviewing her options and the possible consequences for each one: she could lose her family. She could end her career. She could…
“Madeline, whatever happened, you could use this to your advantage,” Brandon said. He placed his hand on her cheek and looked at her lovingly. Madeline knew what he was thinking, it had crossed her mind as well, but she wasn’t sure she could do that. “I’ll support you if you want to come out with this.”